rz.thegunsofavalon-第27部分
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〃It is difficult to understand。。。〃
〃One day you will。 Leave it at that for now。〃
〃Then tell me another thing。 Since I am able to negotiate shadows somewhat； even without having taken the Pattern； tell me more precisely how you go about it。 I want to get better at it。〃
〃No！〃 I said。 〃I will not have you fooling with Shadow until you are ready。 It is dangerous even after you have taken the Pattern。 To do it before is foolhardy。 You were lucky； but do not try it again。 I'll even help； by not telling you anything more about it。〃
〃All right！〃 she said。 〃Sorry。 I guess I can wait〃
〃I guess you can。 No hard feelings？〃
〃No。 Well …〃 She laughed。 〃They wouldn't do me any good； I guess。 You must know what you are talking about。 I am glad that you care what happens to me。〃
I grunted； and she reached out and touched my cheek。 At this； I turned my head again and her face was moving slowly toward my own； smile gone and lips parting； eyes almost closed。 As we kissed； I felt her arms slide about my neck and shoulders and mine found their way into a similar position around her。 My surprise was lost in the sweetness； gave way to warmth and a certain excitement。
If Benedict ever found out； he was going to be more than just irritated with me。。。
Chapter 7
The wagon creaked； monotonously； and the sun was already well into the west； though it still poured hot streams of daylight upon us。 Back among the cases； Ganelon snored； and I envied him his noisy occupation。 He had been sleeping for several hours； and this was my third day without rest。
We were perhaps fifteen miles out of the city； and heading into the northeast。 Doyle had not had my order pletely ready； but Ganelon and I had persuaded him to close up his shop and accelerate its production。 This involved several additional hours' curse…worthy delay。 I had been too keyed…up to sleep then and was unable to do so now； as I was edging my way through shadows。
I forced back the fatigue and the evening and found some clouds to shade me。 We moved along a dry； deeply rutted； clay road。 It was an ugly shade of yellow； and it cracked and crumbled as we went。 Brown grasses hung limply on either side of the way； and the trees were short； twisted things； their barks thick and shaggy。 We passed numerous outcrops of shale。
I had paid Doyle well for his pounds； and had also purchased a handsome bracelet to be delivered to Dara the following day。 My diamonds were at my belt； Grayswandir near to my hand。 Star and Firedrake walked steadily； strongly。 I was on my way to having it made。
I wondered whether Benedict had returned home yet。 I wondered how long he would remain deceived as to my whereabouts。 I was by no means out of danger from him。 He could follow a trail for a great distance through Shadow； and I was leaving him a good one。 I had little choice in the matter； though。 I needed the wagon； I was stuck with our present speed； and I was in no condition to manage another hellride。 I handled the shifts slowly and carefully； very conscious of my dulled senses and growing weariness； counting on the gradual accumulation of change and distance to build up a barrier between Benedict and myself； hoping that it would soon bee an impenetrable one。
I found my way from late afternoon back to noontide within the next two miles； but kept it a cloudy noon； for it was only its light that I desired； not its heat。 Then I managed to locate a small breeze。 It increased the probability of rain； but it was worth it。 You can't have everything。
I was fighting back drowsiness by then； and the temptation was great to awaken Ganelon and simply add more miles to our distance by letting him drive while I slept。 But I was afraid to try it this early in the journey。 There were still too many things to do。
I wanted more daylight； but I also wanted a better road； and I was sick of that goddamned yellow clay； and I had to do something about those clouds； and I had to keep in mind where we were headed。。。
I rubbed my eyes； I took several deep breaths。 Things were starting to jump around inside my head； and the steady clop…clop of the horses' hoofs and the creaking of the wagon were starting to have a soporific effect。 I was already numb to the jolting and the swaying。 The reins hung loosely in my hands； and I had already nodded and let them slip once。 Fortunately； the horses seemed to have a good idea as to what was expected of them。
After a time； we mounted a long； easy slope that led down into mid…morning。 By then； the sky was quite dark； and it took several miles and half a dozen twistings of the road to dissipate the cloud cover somewhat。 A storm could turn our way into a river of mud quite quickly。 I winced at the thought； let the sky alone and concentrated on the road once more。
We came to a dilapidated bridge leading across a dry stream bed。 On its other side； the road was smoother； less yellow。 As we proceeded； it grew darker； flatter； harder； and the grass came green beside it。 By then； though； it had begun raining。
I fought with this for a time； determined not to surrender my grass and the dark； easy road。 My head ached； but the shower ended within a quarter of a mile and the sun came out once more。 The sun。。。oh yes； the sun。
We rattled on； finally ing to a dip in the road that kept twisting its way down among brighter trees。 We descended into a cool valley； where we eventually crossed another small bridge； this one with a narrow band of water drifting along the middle of the bed beneath it。 I had wrapped the reins about my wrist by then； because I kept nodding。 As from a great distance； I focused my concentration； straightening； sorting。。。
Birds queried the day； tentatively； from within the woods to my right。 Glistening droplets of dew clung to the grass； the leaves。 A chill came into the air； and the rays of the morning sun slanted down through the trees。。。
But my body was not fooled by the awakening within this shadow； and I was relieved finally to hear Ganelon stir and curse。 If he had not e around before much longer I would have had to awaken him。
Good enough。 I tugged gently on the reins and the horses got the idea and halted。 I put on the brake； as we were still on an incline； and located a water bottle。
〃Here！〃 said Ganelon； as I drank。 〃Leave a drop for me！〃 I passed the bottle back to him。
〃You are taking over now；〃 I told him。 〃I have to get some sleep。〃
He drank for half a minute； then let out an explosive exhalation。
〃Right；〃 he said； swinging himself over the edge of the wagon and down。 〃But bide a moment。 Nature summons。〃
He stepped off the road； and I crawled back onto the bed of the wagon and stretched out where he had lain； folding my cloak into a pillow。
Moments later； I heard him climb onto the driver's seat； and there was a jolt as he released the brake。 I heard him cluck his tongue and snap the reins lightly。
〃Is it morning？〃 he called back to me。
〃Yes。〃
〃God！ I've slept all day and all night！〃
I chuckled。
〃No。 I did a little shadow…shifting；〃 I said。 〃You only slept six or seven hours。〃
〃I don't understand。 But never mind； I believe you。 Where are we now？〃
〃Still heading northeast；〃 I said； 〃around twenty miles out of the city and maybe a dozen or so from Benedict's place。 We have moved through Shadow； also。〃
〃What am I to do now？〃
〃Just keep following the road。 We need the distance。〃
〃Could Benedict still reach us？〃
〃I think so。 That's why we can't give the horses their rest yet。〃
〃All right。 Is there anything special I should be alert for？〃
〃No。〃
〃When should I raise you？〃
〃Never。〃
He was silent then； and as I waited for my consciousness to be consumed； I thought of Dara； of course。 I had been thinking of her on and off all day。
The thing had been quite unpremeditated on my part。 I had not even thought of her as a woman until she came into my arms and revised my thinking on the subject。 A moment later； and my spinal nerves took over； reducing much of what passes for cerebration down to its basics； as Freud had once said to me。 I could not blame it on the alcohol； as I had not had that much and it had not affected me especially。 Why did I want to blame it on anything？ Because I felt somewhat guilty； that was why。 She was too distant a relation for me to really think of her as one。 That was not it。 I did not feel I had taken unfair advantage of her； for she had known what she was doing when she came looking for me。 It was the circumstances that made me question my own motives； even in the midst of things。 I had wanted to do more than simply win her confidence and a measure of friendship when I had first spoken with her and taken her on that walk into Shadow。 I was trying to alienate some of her loyalty； trust； and affection from Benedict and transfer it to myself。 I had wanted her on my side； as a possible ally in what might bee an enemy camp。 I had hoped to be able to use her； should the need arise when the going got rough。 All this was true。 But I did not want to believe that I had had her as I did just to further this end。 I suspected there was some truth to it； though； and it made me feel unfortable and more than a little ignoble。 Why？ I had done plenty of things i
