rz.thegunsofavalon-第14部分
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Our guards had not yet stirred； indicating to me that one of the two officers was the captain mentioned earlier。 I continued to stare； willing them to move farther and grant me a better look at their superior。
After a time they did； and a few moments later he took a step forward。
At first； I could not tell whether it was just a play of light and shadow。。。 But no！ He moved again and I had a clear view for a moment。 He was missing his right arm； from a point just below the elbow。 It was so heavily bandaged that I guessed the loss to have been quite recent。
Then his large left hand made a downward； sweeping gesture and hovered a good distance out from his body。 The stump twitched at the same moment； and so did something at the back of my mind。 His hair was long and straight and brown； and I saw the way that his jaw jutted。。。
He stepped outside then； and a breeze caught the cloak he wore and caused it to flare to his right。 I saw that his shirt was yellow； his trousers brown。 The cloak itself was a flame…like orange； and he caught its edge with an unnaturally rapid movement of his left hand and drew it back to cover his stump。
I stood quickly； and his head snapped in my direction。
Our gazes met； and neither of us moved for several heartbeats after that。
The two officers turned and stared； and then he pushed them aside and was striding toward me。 I heard Ganelon grunt and climb quickly to his feet。 Our guards were taken by surprise； also。
He halted several paces before me and his hazel eyes swept over me。 He seldom smiled； but he managed a faint one this time。
〃e with me；〃 he said； and he turned back toward his tent。
We followed him； leaving our gear where it lay。
He dismissed the two officers with a glance； halted beside the tent's entrance and motioned us in。 He followed and let the flap fall behind him。 My eyes took in his bedroll； a small table； benches； weapons； a campaign chest。 There was an oil lamp on the table； as well as books； maps； a bottle； and some cups。 Another lamp flickered atop the chest。
He clasped my hand and smiled again。
〃Corwin；〃 he said； 〃and still alive。〃
〃Benedict；〃 I said； smiling myself； 〃and breathing yet。 It has been devilish long。〃
〃Indeed。 Who is your friend？〃
〃His name is Ganelon。〃
〃Ganelon；〃 he said； nodding toward him but not offering to clasp hands。
He moved to the table then and poured three cups of wine。 He passed one to me； another to Ganelon； raised the third himself。
〃To your health； brother；〃 he said。
〃To yours。〃
We drank。
Then； 〃Be seated；〃 he said； gesturing toward the nearest bench and seating himself at the table； 〃and wele to Avalon。〃
〃Thank you … Protector。〃
He grimaced。
〃The sobriquet is not unearned；〃 he said flatly； continuing to study my face。 〃I wonder whether their earlier protector could say the same？〃
〃It was not really this place；〃 I said； 〃and I believe that he could。〃 He shrugged。
〃Of course；〃 he said。 〃Enough of that！ Where have you been？ What have you been doing？ Why have you e here？ Tell me of yourself。 It has been too long。〃
I nodded。 It was unfortunate； but family etiquette as well as the balance of power required that I answer his questions before asking any of my own。 He was my elder； and I had … albeit unknowing … intruded in his sphere of influence。 It was not that I begrudged him the courtesy。 He was one of the few among my many relatives whom I respected and even liked。 It was that I was itching to question him。 It had been； as he had said； too long。
And how much should I tell him now？ I had no notion where his sympathies might lie。 I did not desire to discover the reasons for his self…imposed exile from Amber by mentioning the wrong things。 I would have to begin with something fairly neutral and sound him out as I went along。
〃There must be a beginning；〃 he said then。 〃I care not what face you put upon it。〃
〃There are many beginnings；〃 I said。 〃It is difficult。。。 I suppose I should go all the way back and take it from there。〃
I took another sip of the wine。
〃Yes；〃 I decided。 〃That seems simplest … though it was only paratively recently that I recalled much of what had occurred。
〃It was several years after the defeat of the Moonriders out of Ghenesh and your departure that Eric and I had a major falling out；〃 I began。 〃Yes； it was a quarrel over the succession。 Dad had been making abdication noises again； and he still refused to name a successor。 Naturally； the old arguments were resumed as to who was more legitimate。 Of course； you and Eric are both my elders； but while Faiella； mother to Eric and myself； was his wife after the death of Clymnea； they …〃
〃Enough！〃 cried Benedict； slapping the table so hard that it cracked。
The lamp danced and sputtered； but by some small miracle was not upset。 The tent's entrance flap was immediately pushed aside and a concerned guard peered in。 Benedict glanced at him and he withdrew。
〃I do not wish to sit in on our respective bastardy proceeding；〃 Benedict said softly。 〃That obscene pastime was one of the reasons I initially absented myself from felicity。 Please continue your story without the benefit of footnotes。〃
〃Well … yes；〃 I said； coughing lightly。 〃As I was saying； we had some rather bitter arguments concerning the whole matter。 Then one evening it went beyond mere words。 We fought。〃
〃A duel？〃
〃Nothing that formal。 A simultaneous decision to murder one another is more like it。 At any rate； we fought for a long while and Eric finally got the upper hand and proceeded to pulverize me。 At the risk of getting ahead of my story； I have to add that all of this was only recalled to me about five years ago。〃 Benedict nodded； as though he understood。
〃I can only conjecture as to what occurred immediately after I lost consciousness；〃 I went on。 〃But Eric stopped short of killing me himself。 When I awakened； I was on a shadow Earth in a place called London。 The plague was rampant at the time； and I had contracted it。 I recovered with no memory of anything prior to London。 I dwelled on that shadow world for centuries； seeking some clue as to my identity。 I traveled all over it； often as part of some military campaign。 I attended their universities； I spoke with some of their wisest men； I consulted famous physicians。 But nowhere could I find the key to my past。 It was obvious to me that I was not like other men and I took great pains to conceal this fact。 I was furious because I could have anything that I wanted except what I wanted most … my own identity； my memories。
〃The years passed； but this anger and this longing did not。 It took an accident that fractured my skull to set off the changes that led to the return of my first recollections。 This was approximately five years ago； and the irony of it is that I have good reason to believe Eric was responsible for the accident。 Flora had apparently been resident on that shadow Earth all along； keeping watch over me。
〃To return to conjecture； Eric must have stayed his hand at the last moment； desiring my death； but not wanting it traceable to him。 So he transported me through Shadow to a place of sudden； almost certain death … doubtless to return and say that we had argued and I had ridden off in a huff； muttering something about going away again。 We had been hunting in the Forest of Arden that day … just the two of us； together。〃
〃I find it strange；〃 Benedict interrupted； 〃that two rivals such as yourselves should elect to hunt together under such circumstances。〃
I took a sip of wine and smiled。
〃Perhaps it was a trifle more contrived than I made it sound；〃 I said。 〃Perhaps we both weled the opportunity to hunt together。 Just the two of us。〃
〃I see；〃 he said。 〃So it is possible that your situations could have been reversed？〃
〃Well；〃 I said； 〃that is difficult to say。 I do not believe I would have gone that far。 I am talking as of now； of course。 People do change； you know。 Back then。。。？ Yes； I might have done the same thing to him。 I cannot say for certain； but it is possible。〃
He nodded again； and I felt a flash of anger which passed quickly into amusement。
〃Fortunately； I am not out to justify my own motives for anything；〃 I continued。 〃To go on with my guesswork； I believe that Eric kept tabs on me after that； doubtless disappointed at first that I had survived； but satisfied as to my harmlessness。 So he arranged to have Flora keep an eye on me； and the world turned peacefully for a long while。 Then； presumably； Dad abdicated and disappeared without the question of the succession having been settled …〃
〃The hell he did！〃 said Benedict。 〃There was no abdication。 He just vanished。 One morning he simply was not in his chambers。 His bed had not even been slept in。 There were no messages。 He had been seen entering the suite the evening before； but no one saw him depart。 And even this was not considered strange for a long while。 At first it was simply thought that he was sojourning in Shadow once again； perhaps to seek another bride。 It was a long while before anyone dared suspect foul play or chose to construe this as a novel form of abdication。〃
〃I was not aware of this；〃 I said。 〃Your sources of information seem to have been closer to the he
