da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第21部分

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nsibly　tortuous　Galactic　Copyright　laws。
　　It　is　interesting　to　note　that　a　later　and　wilier　editor　sent　the　book　backwards　in　time　through　a　temporal　warp；　and　then　successfully　sued　the　breakfast　cereal　pany　for　infringement　of　the　same　laws。
　　Here　is　a　sample：
　　
　　The　Universe　…　some　information　to　help　you　live　in　it。
　　
　　1　…　Area：　Infinite。
　　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy　offers　this　definition　of　the　word　〃Infinite〃。
　　Infinite：　Bigger　than　the　biggest　thing　ever　and　then　some。　Much　bigger　than　that　in　fact；　really　amazingly　immense；　a　totally　stunning　size；　〃wow；　that's　big〃；　time。　Infinity　is　just　so　big　that　by　parison；　bigness　itself　looks　really　titchy。　Gigantic　multiplied　by　colossal　multiplied　by　staggeringly　huge　is　the　sort　of　concept　we're　trying　to　get　across　here。
　　
　　2　…　Imports：　None。
　　It　is　impossible　to　import　things　into　an　infinite　area；　there　being　no　outside　to　import　things　in　from。
　　
　　3　…　Exports：　None。
　　See　imports。
　　
　　4　…　Population：　None。
　　It　is　known　that　there　are　an　infinite　number　of　worlds；　simply　because　there　is　an　infinite　amount　of　space　for　them　to　be　in。　However；　not　every　one　of　them　is　inhabited。　Therefore；　there　must　be　a　finite　number　of　inhabited　worlds。　Any　finite　number　divided　by　infinity　is　as　near　to　nothing　as　makes　no　odds；　so　the　average　population　of　all　the　planets　in　the　Universe　can　be　said　to　be　zero。　From　this　it　follows　that　the　population　of　the　whole　Universe　is　also　zero；　and　that　any　people　you　may　meet　from　time　to　time　are　merely　the　products　of　a　deranged　imagination。
　　
　　5　…　Monetary　Units：　None。
　　In　fact　there　are　three　freely　convertible　currencies　in　the　Galaxy；　but　none　of　them　count。　The　Altairan　Dollar　has　recently　collapsed；　the　Flaninian　Pobble　Bead　is　only　exchangeable　for　other　Flaninian　Pobble　Beads；　and　the　Triganic　Pu　has　its　own　very　special　problems。　Its　exchange　rate　of　eight　Ningis　to　one　Pu　is　simple　enough；　but　since　a　Ningi　is　a　triangular　rubber　coin　six　thousand　eight　hundred　miles　across　each　side；　no　one　has　ever　collected　enough　to　own　one　Pu。　Ningis　are　not　negotiable　currency　because　the　Galactibanks　refuse　to　deal　in　fiddling　small　change。　From　this　basic　premise　it　is　very　simple　to　prove　that　the　Galactibanks　are　also　the　product　of　a　deranged　imagination。
　　
　　6　…　Art：　None。
　　The　function　of　art　is　to　hold　the　mirror　up　to　nature；　and　there　simply　isn't　a　mirror　big　enough　…　see　point　one。
　　
　　7　…　Sex：　None。
　　Well；　in　fact　there　is　an　awful　lot　of　this；　largely　because　of　the　total　lack　of　money；　trade；　banks；　art；　or　anything　else　that　might　keep　all　the　non…existent　people　of　the　Universe　occupied。
　　However；　it　is　not　worth　embarking　on　a　long　discussion　of　it　now　because　it　really　is　terribly　plicated。　For　further　information　see　Guide　Chapters　seven；　nine；　ten；　eleven；　fourteen；　sixteen；　seventeen；　nineteen；　twenty…one　to　eighty…four　inclusive；　and　in　fact　most　of　the　rest　of　the　Guide。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　20
　　
　　The　Restaurant　continued　existing；　but　everything　else　had　stopped。　Temporal　relastatics　held　it　and　protected　it　in　a　nothingness　that　wasn't　merely　a　vacuum；　it　was　simply　nothing　…　there　was　nothing　in　which　a　vacuum　could　be　said　to　exist。
　　The　force…shielded　dome　had　once　again　been　rendered　opaque；　the　party　was　over；　the　diners　were　leaving；　Zarquon　had　vanished　along　with　the　rest　of　the　Universe；　the　Time　Turbines　were　preparing　to　pull　the　Restaurant　back　across　the　brink　of　time　in　readiness　for　the　lunch　sitting；　and　Max　Quordlepleen　was　back　in　his　small　curtained　dressing　room　trying　to　raise　his　agent　on　the　tempophone。
　　In　the　car　park　stood　the　black　ship；　closed　and　silent。
　　In　to　the　car　park　came　the　late　Mr。　Hotblack　Desiato；　propelled　along　the　moving　catwalk　by　his　bodyguard。
　　They　descended　one　of　the　tubes。　As　they　approached　the　limoship　a　hatchway　swung　down　from　its　side；　engaged　the　wheels　of　the　wheelchair　and　drew　it　inside。　The　bodyguard　followed；　and　having　seen　his　boss　safely　connected　up　to　his　death…support　system；　moved　up　to　the　small　cockpit。　Here　he　operated　the　remote　control　system　which　activated　the　autopilot　in　the　black　ship　lying　next　to　the　limo；　thus　causing　great　relief　to　Zaphod　Beeblebrox　who　had　been　trying　to　start　the　thing　for　over　ten　minutes。
　　The　black　ship　glided　smoothly　forward　out　of　its　bay；　turned；　and　moved　down　the　central　causeway　swiftly　and　quietly。　At　the　end　it　accelerated　rapidly；　flung　itself　into　the　temporal　launch　chamber　and　began　the　long　journey　back　into　the　distant　past。
　　The　Milliways　Lunch　Menu　quotes；　by　permission；　a　passage　from　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy。　The　passage　is　this：
　　The　History　of　every　major　Galactic　Civilization　tends　to　pass　through　three　distinct　and　recognizable　phases；　those　of　Survival；　Inquiry　and　Sophistication；　otherwise　known　as　the　How；　Why　and　Where　phases。
　　For　instance；　the　first　phase　is　characterized　by　the　question　〃How　can　we　eat？〃；　the　second　by　the　question　〃Why　do　we　eat？〃　and　the　third　by　the　question；　〃Where　shall　we　have　lunch？〃
　　The　Menu　goes　on　to　suggest　that　Milliways；　the　Restaurant　at　the　End　of　the　Universe；　would　be　a　very　agreeable　and　sophisticated　answer　to　that　third　question。
　　What　it　doesn't　go　on　to　say　is　that　though　it　will　usually　take　a　large　civilization　many　thousands　of　years　to　pass　through　the　How；　Why　and　Where　phases；　small　social　groupings　under　stressful　conditions　can　pass　through　them　with　extreme　rapidity。
　　〃How　are　we　doing？〃　said　Arthur　Dent。
　　〃Badly；〃　said　Ford　Prefect。
　　〃Where　are　we　going？〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Zaphod　Beeblebrox。
　　〃Why　not？〃　demanded　Arthur　Dent。
　　〃Shut　up；〃　suggested　Zaphod　Beeblebrox　and　Ford　Prefect。
　　〃Basically；　what　you're　trying　to　say；〃　said　Arthur　Dent；　ignoring　this　suggestion；　〃is　that　we're　out　of　control。〃
　　The　ship　was　rocking　and　swaying　sickeningly　as　Ford　and　Zaphod　tried　to　wrest　control　from　the　autopilot。　The　engines　howled　and　whined　like　tired　children　in　a　supermarket。
　　〃It's　the　wild　colour　scheme　that　freaks　me；〃　said　Zaphod　whose　love　affair　with　this　ship　had　lasted　almost　three　minutes　into　the　flight；　〃Every　time　you　try　to　operate　on　of　these　weird　black　controls　that　are　labelled　in　black　on　a　black　background；　a　little　black　light　lights　up　black　to　let　you　know　you've　done　it。　What　is　this？　Some　kind　of　galactic　hyperhearse？〃
　　The　walls　of　the　swaying　cabin　were　also　black；　the　ceiling　was　black；　the　seats　…　which　were　rudimentary　since　the　only　important　trip　this　ship　was　designed　for　was　supposed　to　be　unmanned　…　were　black；　the　control　panel　was　black；　the　instruments　were　black；　the　little　screws　that　held　them　in　place　were　black；　the　thin　tufted　nylon　floor　covering　was　black；　and　when　they　had　lifted　up　a　corner　of　it　they　had　discovered　that　the　foam　underlay　also　was　black。
　　〃Perhaps　whoever　designed　it　had　eyes　that　responded　to　different　wavelengths；〃　offered　Trillian。
　　〃Or　didn't　have　much　imagination；〃　muttered　Arthur。
　　〃Perhaps；〃　said　Marvin；　〃he　was　feeling　very　depressed。〃
　　In　fact；　though　they　weren't　to　know　it；　the　decor　had　been　chosen　in　honour　of　its　owner's　sad；　lamented；　and　tax…deductible　condition。
　　The　ship　gave　a　particularly　sickening　lurch。
　　〃Take　it　easy；〃　pleaded　Arthur；　〃you're　making　me　space　sick。〃
　　〃Time　sick；〃　said　Ford；　〃we're　plummeting　backwards　through　time。〃
　　〃Thank　you；〃　said　Arthur；　〃now　I　think　I　really　am　going　to　be　ill。〃
　　〃Go　ahead；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃we　could　do　with　a　little　colour　about　this　place。〃
　　〃This　is　meant　to　be　a　polite　after…dinner　conversation　is　it？〃　snapped　Arthur。
　　Zaphod　left　the　controls　for　Ford　to　figure　out；　and　lurched　over　to　Arthur。
　　〃Look；　Earthman；〃　he　said　angrily；　〃you've　got　a　job　to　do；　right？　The　Question　to　the　Ultimate　Answer；　right？〃
　　〃What；　that　thing？〃　said　Arthur；　〃I　thought　we'd　forgotten　about　that。〃
　　〃Not　me；　baby。　Like　the　mice　said；　it's　worth　a　lot　of　money　in　the　right　quarters。　And　it's　all　locked　up　in　that　head　thing　of　yours。〃
　　〃Yes　but。。。〃
　　〃But　nothing！　Think　about　it。　The　Meaning　of　Life！　We　get　our　fingers　on　that　we　can　hold　every　shrink　in　the　Galaxy　up　to　ransom；　and　that's　worth　a　bundle。　I　owe　mine　a　mint。〃
　　Arthur　took　a　deep　breath　without　much　enthusiasm。
　　〃Alright；〃　he　said；　〃but　where　do　we　start？　How　should　I　know？　They　say　the　Ultimate　Answer　or　whatever　is　Forty…two；　how　am　I　supposed　to　know　what　the　question　is？　It　could　be　anything。　I　mean；　what's　six　times　seven？〃
　　Zaphod　looked　at　him　hard　for　a　moment。　Then　his　eyes　blazed　with　excitement。
　　〃Forty…two！〃　he　cried。
　　Arthur　wiped　his　palm　across　his　forehead。
　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　patiently；〃　I　know　that。〃
　　Zaphod's　faces　fell。
　　〃I'm　just　saying　that　the　question　could　be　anything　at　all；〃　said　Arthur；　〃and　I　don't　see　how　I　am　meant　to　know。〃
　　〃Because；〃　hissed　Zaphod；　〃you　were　there　when　your　planet　did　the　big　firework。〃
　　〃We　have　a　thing　on　Earth。。。〃　began　Arthur。
　　〃Had；〃　corrected　Zaphod。
　　〃。。。　called　tact。　Oh　never　mind。　Look；