jkrowling.hp&theorderofphenix-第63部分

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；　but　all　that　stuff　was　luck　…　I　didn't　know　what　I　was　doing　half　the　time；　I　didn't　plan　any　of　it；　I　just　did　whatever　I　could　think　of；　and　I　nearly　always　had　help　…'
　　　
　　　Ron　and　Hermione　were　still　smirking　and　Harry　felt　his　temper　rise；　he　wasn't　even　sure　why　he　was　feeling　so　angry。
　　　'Don't　sit　there　grinning　like　you　know　better　than　I　do；　I　was　there；　wasn't　I？'　he　said　heatedly。　'I　know　what　went　on；　all　right？　And　I　didn't　get　through　any　of　that　because　I　was　brilliant　at　Defence　Against　the　Dark　Arts；　I　got　through　it　all　because　…　because　help　came　at　the　right　time；　or　because　I　guessed　right　…　but　I　just　blundered　through　it　all；　I　didn't　have　a　clue　what　I　was　doing　…　STOP　LAUGHING！'
　　　
　　　The　bowl　of　Murtlap　essence　fell　to　the　floor　and　smashed。　He　became　aware　that　he　was　on　his　feet；　though　he　couldn't　remember　standing　up。　Crookshanks　streaked　away　under　a　sofa。　Ron　and　Hermione's　smiles　had　vanished。
　　　'You　don't　know　what　it's　like！　You　…　neither　of　you　…　you've　never　had　to　face　him；　have　you？　You　think　it's　just　memorising　a　bunch　of　spells　and　throwing　them　at　him；　like　you're　in　class　or　something？　The　whole　time　you're　sure　you　know　there's　nothing　between　you　and　dying　except　your　own　…　your　own　brain　or　guts　or　whatever　…like　you　can　think　straight　when　you　know　you're　about　a　nanosecond　from　being　murdered；　or　tortured；　or　watching　your　friends　die　…they've　never　taught　us　that　in　their　classes；　what　it's　like　to　deal　with　things　like　that　…　and　you　two　sit　there　acting　like　I'm　a　clever　little　boy　to　be　standing　here；　alive；　like　Diggory　was　stupid；　like　he　messed　up　…　you　just　don't　get　it；　that　could　just　as　easily　have　been　me；　it　would　have　been　if　Voldemort　hadn't　needed　me　…'
　　　
　　　'We　weren't　saying　anything　like　that；　mate；'　said　Ron；　looking　aghast。　'We　weren't　having　a　go　at　Diggory；　we　didn't　…　you've　got　the　wrong　end　of　the　…'
　　　
　　　He　looked　helplessly　at　Hermione；　whose　face　was　stricken。
　　　'Harry；'　she　said　timidly；　'don't　you　see？　This：　this　is　exactly　why　we　need　you：　we　need　to　know　what　it's　r…really　like：　facing　him：　facing　V…Voldemort。'
　　　
　　　It　was　the　first　time　she　had　ever　said　Voldemort's　name　and　it　was　this；　more　than　anything　else；　that　calmed　Harry。　Still　breathing　hard；　he　sank　back　into　his　chair；　being　aware　as　he　did　so　that　his　hand　was　throbbing　horribly　again。　He　wished　he　had　not　smashed　the　bowl　of　Murtlap　essence。
　　　'Well：　think　about　it；'　said　Hermione　quietly。　'Please？'
　　　
　　　Harry　could　not　think　of　anything　to　say。　He　was　feeling　ashamed　of　his　outburst　already。　He　nodded；　hardly　aware　of　what　he　was　agreeing　to。
　　　Hermione　stood　up。
　　　'Well；　I'm　off　to　bed；'　she　said；　in　a　voice　that　was　clearly　as　natural　as　she　could　make　it。　'Erm：　night。'
　　　
　　　Ron　had　got　to　his　feet；　too。
　　　'ing？'　he　said　awkwardly　to　Harry。
　　　'Yeah；'　said　Harry。　'In：　in　a　minute。　I'll　just　clear　this　up。'
　　　
　　　He　indicated　the　smashed　bowl　on　the　floor。　Ron　nodded　and　left。
　　　'Reparo；'　Harry　muttered；　pointing　his　wand　at　the　broken　pieces　of　china。　They　flew　back　together；　good　as　new；　but　there　was　no　returning　the　Murtlap　essence　to　the　bowl。
　　　He　was　suddenly　so　tired　he　was　tempted　to　sink　back　into　his　armchair　and　sleep　there；　but　instead　he　forced　himself　to　his　feet　and　followed　Ron　upstairs。　His　restless　night　was　punctuated　once　more　by　dreams　of　long　corridors　and　locked　doors　and　he　awoke　next　day　with　his　scar　prickling　again。
　　　
　　　
　　　…　CHAPTER　SIXTEEN
　　　
　　　In　the　Hogs　Head
　　　
　　　Hermione　made　no　mention　of　Harry　giving　Defence　Against　the　Dark　Arts　lessons　for　two　whole　weeks　after　her　original　suggestion。　Harry's　detentions　with　Umbridge　were　finally　over　（he　doubted　whether　the　words　now　etched　into　the　back　of　his　hand　would　ever　fade　entirely）；　Ron　had　had　four　more　Quidditch　practices　and　not　been　shouted　at　during　the　last　two；　and　all　three　of　them　had　managed　to　Vanish　their　mice　in　Transfiguration　（Hermione　had　actually　progressed　to　Vanishing　kittens）；　before　the　subject　was　broached　again；　on　a　wild；　blustery　evening　at　the　end　of　September；　when　the　three　of　them　were　sitting　in　the　library；　looking　up　potion　ingredients　for　Snape。
　　　'I　was　wondering；'　Hermione　said　suddenly；　'whether　you'd　thought　any　more　about　Defence　Against　the　Dark　Arts；　Harry。'
　　　
　　　'Course　I　have；'　said　Harry　grumpily；　'can't　forget　it；　can　we；　with　that　hag　teaching　us　…'
　　　
　　　'I　meant　the　idea　Ron　and　I　had　…'　Ron　cast　her　an　alarmed；　threatening　kind　of　look。　She　frowned　at　him；　'…　Oh；　all　right；　the　idea　I　had；　then　…　about　you　teaching　us。'
　　　
　　　Harry　did　not　answer　at　once。　He　pretended　to　be　perusing　a　page　of　Asiatic　Anti…Venoms；　because　he　did　not　want　to　say　what　was　in　his　mind。
　　　He　had　given　the　matter　a　great　deal　of　thought　over　the　past　fortnight。　Sometimes　it　seemed　an　insane　idea；　just　as　it　had　on　the　night　Hermione　had　proposed　it；　but　at　others；　he　had　found　himself　thinking　about　the　spells　that　had　served　him　best　in　his　various　encounters　with　Dark　creatures　and　Death　Eaters　…　found　himself；　in　fact；　subconsciously　planning　lessons：
　　　
　　　'Well；'　he　said　slowly；　when　he　could　no　longer　pretend　to　find　Asiatic　Anti…Venoms　interesting；　'yeah；　I　…　I've　thought　about　it　a　bit。'
　　　
　　　'And？'　said　Hermione　eagerly。
　　　'I　dunno；'　said　Harry；　playing　for　time。　He　looked　up　at　Ron。
　　　'I　thought　it　was　a　good　idea　from　the　start；'　said　Ron；　who　seemed　keener　to　join　in　this　conversation　now　that　he　was　sure　Harry　was　not　going　to　start　shouting　again。
　　　Harry　shifted　unfortably　in　his　chair。
　　　'You　did　listen　to　what　I　said　about　a　load　of　it　being　luck；　didn't　you？'
　　　
　　　'Yes；　Harry；'　said　Hermione　gently；　'but　all　the　same；　there's　no　point　pretending　that　you're　not　good　at　Defence　Against　the　Dark　Arts；　because　you　are。　You　were　the　only　person　last　year　who　could　throw　off　the　Imperius　Curse　pletely；　you　can　produce　a　Patronus；　you　can　do　all　sorts　of　stuff　that　full…grown　wizards　can't；　Viktor　always　said　…'
　　　
　　　Ron　looked　round　at　her　so　fast　he　appeared　to　crick　his　neck。　Rubbing　it；　he　said；　'Yeah？　What　did　Vicky　say？'
　　　
　　　'Ho　ho；'　said　Hermione　in　a　bored　voice。　'He　said　Harry　knew　how　to　do　stuff　even　he　didn't；　and　he　was　in　the　final　year　at　Durmstrang。'
　　　
　　　Ron　was　looking　at　Hermione　suspiciously。
　　　'You're　not　still　in　contact　with　him；　are　you？'
　　　
　　　'So　what　if　I　am？'　said　Hermione　coolly；　though　her　face　was　a　little　pink。　'I　can　have　a　pen…pal　if　I　…'
　　　
　　　'He　didn't　only　want　to　be　your　pen…pal；'　said　Ron　accusingly。
　　　Hermione　shook　her　head　exasperatedly　and；　ignoring　Ron；　who　was　continuing　to　watch　her；　said　to　Harry；　'Well；　what　do　you　think？　Will　you　teach　us？'
　　　
　　　'Just　you　and　Ron；　yeah？'
　　　
　　　'Well；'　said　Hermione；　looking　a　mite　anxious　again。　'Well：　now；　don't　fly　off　the　handle　again；　Harry；　please：　but　I　really　think　you　ought　to　teach　anyone　who　wants　to　learn。　I　mean；　we're　talking　about　defending　ourselves　against　V…Voldemort。　Oh；　don't　be　pathetic；　Ron。　It　doesn't　seem　fair　if　we　don't　offer　the　chance　to　other　people。'
　　　
　　　Harry　considered　this　for　a　moment；　then　said；　'Yeah；　but　I
　　　
　　　doubt　anyone　except　you　two　would　want　to　be　taught　by　me。　I'm　a　nutter；　remember？'
　　　
　　　'Well；　I　think　you　might　be　surprised　how　many　people　would　be　interested　in　hearing　what　you've　got　to　say'　said　Hermione　seriously。　'Look；'　she　leaned　towards　him　…　Ron；　who　was　still　watching　her　with　a　frown　on　his　face；　leaned　forwards　to　listen　too　…　'you　know　the　first　weekend　in　October's　a　Hogsmeade　weekend？　How　would　it　be　if　we　tell　anyone　who's　interested　to　meet　us　in　the　village　and　we　can　talk　it　over？'
　　　
　　　'Why　do　we　have　to　do　it　outside　school？'　said　Ron。
　　　'Because；'　said　Hermione；　returning　to　the　diagram　of　the　Chinese　Chomping　Cabbage　she　was　copying；　'I　don't　think　Umbridge　would　be　very　happy　if　she　found　out　what　we　were　up　to。'
　　　
　　　*　*　*
　　　
　　　Harry　had　been　looking　forward　to　the　weekend　trip　into　Hogsmeade；　but　there　was　one　thing　worrying　him。　Sirius　had　maintained　a　stony　silence　since　he　had　appeared　in　the　fire　at　the　beginning　of　September；　Harry　knew　they　had　made　him　angry　by　saying　they　didn't　want　him　to　e　…　but　he　still　worried　from　time　to　time　that　Sirius　might　throw　caution　to　the　winds　and　turn　up　anyway。　What　were　they　going　to　do　if　the　great　black　dog　came　bounding　up　the　street　towards　them　in　Hogsmeade；　perhaps　under　the　nose　of　Draco　Malfoy？
　　　
　　　'Well；　you　can't　blame　him　for　wanting　to　get　out　and　about；'　said　Ron；　when　Harry　discussed　his　fears　with　him　and　Hermione。　'I　mean；　he's　been　on　the　run　for　over　two　years；　hasn't　he；　and　I　know　that　can't　have　been　a　laugh；　but　at　least　he　was　free；　wasn't　he？　And　now　he's　just　shut　up　all　the　time　with　that　ghastly　elf。'
　　　
　　　Hermione　scowled　at　Ron；　but　otherwise　ignored　the　slight　on　Kreacher。
　　　The　trouble　is；'　she　said　to　Harry；　'until　V…Voldemort　…　oh；　for　heaven's　sake；　Ron　…　es　out　into　the　open；　Sirius　is　going　to　have　to　stay　hidden；　isn't　he？　I　mean；　the　stupid　Ministry　isn't　going　to　realise　Sirius　is　innocent　until　they　accept　that　Dumbledore's　been　telling　the　truth　about　him　all　along。　And