sk.cujo-第11部分
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ng on the radio that you remembered from high school and bursting into tears for no reason。 Feeling jealous of Vic because his fife was a daily struggle to build something; he was a knight…errant with a family crest embossed on his shield; and her life was back here; getting Tad through the day; jollying him when he was cranky; listening to his raps; fixing his meals and snacks。 It was a life lived in the trenches。 Too much of it was waiting and listening。
And all along she had thought that things would begin to smooth out when Tad was older; the discovery that it wasn't true brought on a kind of low…level horror。 This past year he had been out of the house three mornings a week; at jack and Jill Nursery School; this summer it had been five afternoons a week at playcamp。 When he was gone the house seemed shockingly empty。 Doorways leaned and gaped with no Tad to fill them; the staircase yawned with no Tad halfway up; sitting there in his pajama bottoms before his nap; owlishly looking at one of his picture books。
Doors were mouths; stairways throats。 Empty rooms became traps。
So she washed floors that didn't need to be washed。 She watched the soaps。 She thought about Steve Kemp; with whom she'd had a little flirtation since he had rolled into town the previous fall with Virginia license plates on his van and had set up a small stripping and refinishing business。 She had caught herself sitting in front of the TV with no idea what was going on because she had been thinking about the way his deep tan contrasted with his tennis whites; or the way his ass pumped when he moved fast。 And finally she had done something。 And today She felt her stomach knot up and she ran for the bathroom; her hands plastered to her mouth; her eyes wide and starey。 She made it; barely; and tossed up everything。 She looked at the mess she had made; and with a groan she did it again。
When her stomach felt better (but her legs were all atremble again; something lost; something gained); she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror。 Her face was thrown into hard and unflattering relief by the fluorescent bar。 Her skin was too white; her eyes red…rimmed。 Her hair was plastered to her skull in an unflattering helmet。 She saw what she was going to look like when she was old; and the most terrifying thing of all was that right now; if Steve Kemp was here; she thought she would let him make love to her if he would only hold her and kiss her and say that she didn't have to be afraid; that time was a myth and death was a dream; that everything was okay。
A sound came out of her; a screaming sob that could surely not have been born in her chest。 It was the sound of a madwoman。
She lowered her head and cried。
Charity Camber sat on the double bed she shared with her husband; Joe; and looked down at something she held in her hands。 She had just e back from the store; the same one Donna Trenton patronized。 Now her hands and feet and cheeks felt numb and cold; as if she had been out with Joe on the snowmobile for too long。 But tomorrow as the first of
July; the snowmobile was put neatly away in the back shed with its tarp; snugged down。
It can't be。 There's been some mistake。
But there was no mistake。 She had checked half a dozen times; and there was no mistake。
After all; it has to happen to somebody; doesn't it?
Yes; of course。 To somebody。 But to her?
She could hear Joe pounding on something in his garage; a high; belling sound that beat its way into the hot afternoon like a hammer shaping thin metal。 There was a pause; and then; faintly: 'Shit!'
The hammer struck once more and there was a longer pause。 Then her husband hollered: 'Brett!'
She always cringed a little when he raised his voice that way and yelled for their boy。 Brett loved his father very much; but Charity had never been sure just how Joe felt about his son。 That was a dreadful thing to be thinking; but it was true。 Once; about two years ago; she had had a horrible nightmare; one she didn't think she would ever forget。 She dreamed that her husband drove a pitchfork directly into Brett's chest。 The tines went right through him and poked out the back of Brett's T…shirt; holding it out the way tent poles hold a tent up in the air。 Little sucker didn't e when I hollered him down; her dream husband said; and she had awakened with a jerk beside her real husband; who had been sleeping the sleep of beer beside her in his boxer shorts。 The moonlight had been falling through the window and onto the bed where she now sat; moonlight in a cold and uncaring flood of light; and she had understood just how afraid a person could be; how fear was a monster with yellow teeth; set afoot by an angry God to eat the unwary and the unfit。 Joe had used his hands on her a few times in the course of their marriage; and she had learned。 She wasn't a genius; maybe; but her mother hadn't raised any fools。 Now she did what Joe told her and rarely argued。 She guessed Brett was that way too。 But she feared for the boy sometimes。
She went to the window in time to see Brett run across the yard and into the barn。 Cujo traded at Brett's heels; looking hot and dispirited。
Faintly: 'Hold this for me; Brett。'
More faintly: 'Sure; Daddy。'
The hammering started again; that merciless icepick sound: Whing! Whing! Whing! She imagined Brett holding something against something … a coldchisel against a frozen bearing; maybe; or a square spike against a lockbolt。 Her husband a Pall Mall jittering in the er of his thin mouth; his T…shirt sleeves rolled up; swinging a five…pound pony…hammer。 And if he was drunk 。。。 if his aim was a little off 。
In her mind she could hear Brett's agonized bowl as the hammer mashed his hand to a red; splintered pulp; and she crossed her arms over her bosom against the vision。
She looked at the thing in her hand again and wondered if there was a way she could use it。 More than anything in the world; she wanted to go to Connecticut to see her sister Holly。 It had been six years now; in the summer of 1974 … she remembered well enough; because it had been a bad summer for her except for that one pleasant weekend。 'Seventy…four had been the year Brett's night problems had begun …restlessness; bad dreams; and; more and more frequently; incidents of sleepwalking。 It was also the year Joe began drinking heavily。 Brett's uneasy nights and his somnambulism had eventually gone away。 Joe's drinking had not。
Brett had been four then; he was ten now and didn't even remember his Aunt Holly; who had been married for six years。 She had a little boy; named after her husband; and a little girl。 Charity had never seen either child; her own niece and nephew; except for the Kodachromes Holly occasionally sent in *the mail。
She had gotten scared of asking Joe。 He was tired of hearing her talk about it; and if she asked him again he might hit her。 It had been almost sixteen months since she'd last asked him if maybe they couldn't take a little vacation down Connecticut way。 Not much of a one for traveling was Mrs。
Camber's son Joe。 He liked it just fine in Castle Rock。 Once a year he and that old tosspot Gary Pervier and some of their cronies would go up north to Moosehead to shoot deer。 Last November he had wanted to take Brett。 She had put her foot down and it had stayed down; in spite of Joe's sullen mutterings and Brett's wounded eyes。 She was not going to have the boy out with that bunch of men for two weeks; listening to a lot of vulgar talk and jokes about sex and seeing what animals men could turn into when they got to drinking nonstop over a period of days and weeks。 All of them with loaded guns; walking in the woods。 Loaded guns; loaded men; somebody always got hurt sooner or later; fluorescent…orange hats and vests or not。 It wasn't going to be Brett。 Not her son。
The hammer struck the steel steadily; rhythmically。 It stopped。 She relaxed a little。 Then it started again。
She supposed that sooner or later Brett would go with them; and that would be the end of him for her。 He would join their club; and ever after she would be little more than a kitchen drudge that kept the clubhouse neat。 Yes; that day would e; and she knew it; and she grieved for it。 But at least she had been able to stave it off for another year。
And this year? Would she be able to keep him home with her this November) Maybe not。 Either way; it would be better …not all right but at least better … if she could take Brett down to Connecticut first。 Take him down there and show him how some 。。。
。。。 some 。。。
Oh; say it; if only to yourself。
(how some decent people lived)
If Joe would let them go alone 。。。 but there was no sense thinking of that。 Joe could go places alone or with his friends; but she couldn't; not even with Brett in tow。 That was one of their marriage's ground rules。 Yet she couldn't help thinking about how much better it would be without him … without him sitting in Holly's kitchen; swilling beer; looking Holly's Jim up and down with those insolent brown eyes。 It would he better without him being impatient to be gone until Holly and Jim were also impatient for them to be gone 。。。
She and Brett。
Just the two of them。
They could go on the bus。
She thought: Last November; he wanted to take Brett hunting with; him。
She thought: Could a t