bill_the_galactic_hero_v1.1-第15部分
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ou just stay at attention until your name is called; take one pace forward; and snap into a brace。 The Emperor will pin a medal on you; salute; drop the salute; and take one pace back。 You got that; or is it too plicated for your tiny; indoctrinated minds?〃
〃Why don't you blow it out!〃 the sergeant snarled。
〃Very witty。 All right…let's run through it!〃
They rehearsed the ceremony twice before there was a tremendous braying of bugles; and six generals with deathray 。pistols at the ready double…timed onto the set and halted with their backs to the throne。 All of the extras; cameramen; and technicians…even Director Ratt…bowed low while the veterans snapped to attention。 The Emperor shuffled in; climbed the dais; and dropped into the throne。 〃Continue 。 。 。 〃 he said in a bored voice; and belched lightly behind his hand。
〃Let's ROLL!〃 the director howled at the top of his lungs; and staggered out of camera range。 Music rose up in a mighty wave; and the ceremony began。 While the Awards and Protocol officer read off the nature of the heroic deeds the noble heroes had acplished to win that noblest of all medals; the Purple Dart with Coalsack Nebula Cluster; the Emperor rose from his throne and strode majestically forward。 The infantry sergeant was first; and Bill watched out of
the corner of his eye while the Emperor took an ornate gold; silver; ruby; and platinum medal from the proferred case and pinned it to the man's chest。 Then the sergeant stepped back into position; and it was Bill's turn。 As from an immense distance he heard his name spoken in rolling tones of thunder; and he strode forward with every ounce of precision that he had been taught back at Camp Leon Trotsky。 There; just before him; was the most beloved man in the
galaxy! The long and swollen nose that graced a billion banknotes was pointed toward him。 The overshot jaw and protruding teeth that filled a billion TV screens was speaking his name。 One of the imperial strabismic eyes was pointing at him! Passion welled in Bill's bosom like great breakers thundering onto a shore。 He snapped his snappiest salute。
In fact he snapped just about the snappiest salute possible; since there aren't very many people with two right arms。 Both arms swung up in precise circles; both elbows quivered at right angles; both palms clicked neatly against both eyebrows。 It was well done and took the Emperor by surprise; and for one vibrating instant he managed to get both eyeballs pointed at Bill at the same time before they wandered away at random again。 The Emperor; still a little disturbed by the unusual salute; groped for the medal and plunged the pin through Bill's tunic squarely into his shivering flesh。
Bill felt no pain; but the sudden stab triggered the growing emotion that had been rushing through him。 Dropping the salutes he fell to his knees in good old peasant…serf style; just like a historical TV; which in fact was just where his obsequious subconscious had dredged up the idea from; and seized the Emperor's knob…knuckled and liver…spotted hand。 〃Father to us all!〃 Bill exulted; and kissed the hand。
Grim…eyed; the bodyguard of generals leaped forward; and death beat sable wings over Bill; but the Emperor smiled as he pulled his hand gently away and wiped the saliva off on Bill's tunic。 A casual flick of his finger restored the bodyguard to position; and he moved on to the gunner; pinned on the remaining medal; and stepped back。
〃Cut!〃 Director Ratt shouted。 〃Print that; it's a natural with that dumb hick going through the slobbering act。〃
As Bill struggled back to his feet he saw that the Emperor had not returned to the throne but was instead standing in the midst of the milling crowd of actors。 The bodyguard had vanished。 Bill blinked; bewildered; as a man whipped the Emperor's crown from his head; popped it into a box; and hurried away with it。
〃The brake is jammed;〃 the gunner said; still saluting with a vibrating arm。 〃Pull the damn thing down for me。 It never works right above shoulder level。〃
〃But…the Emperor…〃 Bill said; tugging at the locked arm until the brakes squealed and released。
〃An actor…what else? Do you think they have the real Emperor giving out medals to other…ranks? Field grade and higher; I bet。 But they put on a bit of an act with him so some poor rube; like you; can get carried away。 You were great。〃
〃Here you are;〃 a man said; handing them both stamped metal copies of the medals they were wearing and whipping off the originals。
〃Places!〃 the director's amplified voice boomed。 〃We got just ten minutes to run through the Empress and the baby kissing with the Aldebranian septuplets for the Fertility Hour。 Get those plastic babies out here; and get those damn spectators off the set。〃
The heroes were pushed into the corridor and the door slammed and locked behind them。
II
〃I'm tired;〃 the gunner said; 〃and besides; my burns hurt。〃 He had had a short circuit during action in the Enlisted Men's Olde Knocking Shoppe and had set the bed on fire。
〃Aw; e on;〃 Bill insisted。 〃We have three…day passes before our ship leaves; and we are on Helior; the Imperial Planet! What riches there are to see here; the Hanging Gardens; the Rainbow Fountains; the Jeweled Palaces。 You can't miss them。〃
〃Just watch me。 As soon as I catch up on some sleep it's back to the Olde Knocking Shoppe for me。 If you're so hot on someone holding your hand while you go sightseeing; take the sergeant。〃
〃He's still drunk。〃
The infantry sergeant was a solitary drinker who did not believe in cutting ers。 Neither did he believe in dilution or in wasting money on fancy packaging。 He had used all of his money to bribe a medical orderly and had obtained two carboys of 99 per cent pure grain alcohol; a drum of glucose and saline solution; a hypodermic needle; and a length of rubber tubing。 The ethyl…glucose…saline mixture in carboys had been slung from a rafter over his bunk with the tubing leading to the needle plunged into his arm and taped into place as an intravenous drip。 Now he was unmoving; well fed; and pletely blind…drunk all the time; and if the metered flow were undisturbed he should stay drunk for two and a half years。 Bill put a finishing gloss on his boots and locked the brush into his locker with the rest of his gear。 He might be late getting back。 it was easy to get lost here on Helior when you didn't have a Guide。 It had taken them almost an entire day to find their way from the studio to their quarters even with the sergeant; a man who knew all about maps; leading the way。 As long as they stayed near their own area there was no problem; but Bill had had his fill
of the homely pleasures provided for the fighting men。 He wanted to see Helior; the real Hehor; the first city of the galaxy。 If no one would go with him; he would do it alone。
It was very hard; in spite。 of the floor plan; to tell just exactly how far away anything was on Helior; since the diagrams were all diagrammatic and had no scale。 But the trip he was planning seemed to be a long one; since one of the key bits of transportation; an evacuated tunnellinear magnetic car; went across at least eighty…four submaps。 His destination might very well be on the other side of the planetl A city as large as a planet' The concept was almost too big to grasps In fact; when he thought about it; the concept was too big to grasp。
The sandwiches he had bought from the dispenser in the barracks ran out before he was halfway to his destination; and his stomach; greedily getting adjusted to solid food again; rumbled plaints until he left the slideway in Area 9266…L; Level something or other; or wherever the hell he was; and looked for a canteen。 He was obviously in a Typing Area; because the crowds were posed almost pletely of women with rounded shoulders and great; long fingers。 The only canteen he could find was jammed with them; and he sat in the middle of the high…pitched; yattering crowd and forced himself to eat a meal posed of the only available food: dated…fruitbreadcheese…and…anchovy…paste sandwiches and mashed potatoes with raisin and onion sauce; washed down by herb tea served lukewarm in cups the
size of his thumb。 It wouldn't have been so bad if the dispenser hadn't automatically covered everything with butterscotch sauce。 None of the girls seemed to notice him; since they were all under light hypnosis during the working day in order to cut down their error percentages。 He worked his way through the food feeling very much like a ghost as they tittered and yammered over and around him; their fingers; if they weren't eating; pulsively typing their words onto the edge of the table while they talked。 He finally escaped; but the meal had had a depressing effect; and this was probably where he made the mistake and boarded the wrong car。
Since the same level and block numbers were repeated in every area; it was possible to get into the wrong area and spend a good deal of time getting good and lost before the mistake was finally realized。 Bill did this; and after the usual astronomical number of changes and varieties of transportation he boarded the elevator that terminated; he thought; in the galaxy…famed Palace Gardens。 All of the other passengers got off on lower le