anner.bloodandgold-第66部分
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ancient and mysterious charms。
Only occasionally did I see Bianca hand the poisoned cup to one of her ill…fated guests。 Only occasionally did I feel the beat of her dark heart; and see the shadow of desperate guilt in the very depth of her eyes。 How she watched the unfortunate victim; how she saw him out of her pany at last with a subtle smile。
As for Amadeo; our private sessions within my bedchamber became ever more intimate。 And more than once; as we embraced; I gave the Blood Kiss to him; watching his body shiver; and seeing the power of it in his half…lidded eyes。
What was this madness? Was he for the world or for me?
How I Hed to myself about it。 I told myself the boy might still prove himself and thereby earn his freedom to leave me; safe and rich; for acplishments beyond my house。
But I had given him so much of the Secret Blood that he pushed me with questions。 What manner of creature was I? Why did I never e by day? Why did I take no food or drink?
He wrapped his warm arms around the mystery; He buried his face in the monster's neck。
I sent him off to the best brothels to learn the pleasures of women; and the pleasures of boys。 He hated me for it; and yet he enjoyed it; and he came home to me eager for the Blood Kiss and
nothing else。
He taunted me when I painted alone; except for him; in my studio; working furiously; creating some landscape or gathering of ancient heroes。 He slept beside me when I collapsed in my bed to sleep the last few hours before dawn。
Meantime; we opened the palazzo again and yet again。 Bianca; ever the clever and poised one; had outgrown her early beauty; and preserving her delicate face and manner; had now the polish of a woman rather than the promise of a girl。
Often I found myself staring at her; wondering what would have happened if I had not turned my attention to him。 Why after all had I done it? Could I not have wooed her and persuaded her; and then; thinking these thoughts; I realized; foolishly; that I might still choose to do so; and cast him off; with wealth and position; to mortality with all the rest of my boys。
No; she was saved。
Amadeo was the one I wanted。 Amadeo wag the one I was educating; training Amadeo was the precious student of the Blood。
The nights passed swiftly; as if in a dream。 Several boys went off to university。 One of the teachers died。 Vincenzo took to walking with a limp; but I hired an assistant to fetch for him。 Bianca rearranged several of the large paintings。 The air was warm and the windows were open。 On the roof garden we gathered for a great banquet。 The boys sang。
Never once in all this time did I fail to apply the salve to my skin to darken it and make me appear human。 Never once did I fail to work it into the flesh of both my hands。 Never once did I fail to dress with fine jewels; and wear rings that would distract everyone。 Never once did I move too close to a grouping of candles; or a torch at a doorway or on the quais。
I went to the shrine of Those Who Must Be Kept and remained there in meditation。 I laid the case before Akasha。
I wanted this child…this boy who was now two years older than when I'd found him…and yet I wanted everything else for him; and my soul was torn; just as his heart was torn。
Never before had I wanted such a thing; to make a blood drinker for my own panionship; indeed to educate a mortal youth for this very purpose; and to groom him expertly that he might be the finest choice。
But I wanted it now and it filled my thoughts during eveiy waking hour; and I found no consolation looking at my cold Mother and Father。 I heard no answer to my prayer。
I lay down to sleep in the shrine and knew only dark and troubled dreams。
I saw the garden; the very one I had painted on the walls eternally; and I was walking in it as always; and there was fruit on the low…hanging trees。 There came Amadeo walking near me; and suddenly there came from his mouth a chilling cruel laughter。
〃A sacrifice?〃 he asked; 〃for Bianca? How can such a thing be?〃
I woke with a start; and sat up; rubbing the backs of my arms; and shaking my head; trying to free myself from the dream。
〃I don't know the answer;〃 I whispered; as though he were there near me; as though his spirit had traveled to die place where I sat。
〃Except she was already a young woman when I came upon her;〃 I responded; 〃educated and forced into life; indeed a murderess; yes; indeed; a murderess; a child woman guilty of dreadful crimes。 And you; you were a helpless child。 I could mold you and change you; all of which I've done。
〃It's true; I thought you were a painter;〃 I continued; 〃that you had the gift for painting; and I know that it's still in you; and that did sway me; too。 But when all is said and done; I don't know why you distracted me; only that it was done。〃
I lay back down to sleep once more; lying on my side rather carelessly;
staring up at the glimmering eye of Akasha。 At the harsh lines of the face of Enkil。
I thought back over the centuries to Eudoxia。 I remembered her terrible death。 I remembered her burning body as it lay upon the floor of the shrine in the very place where I lay now。
I thought of Pandora。 Where is my Pandora? And then finally I drifted into sleep。
When I returned to the palazzo; ing down from the roof as was always my custom; things were not as I would have them; for all the pany was solemn at supper; and Vincenzo told me anxiously that a 〃strange man〃 had e to visit me; and that he stood in the anteroom and would not e in。
The boys had been finishing one of my murals in the anteroom; and they had hastily left this 〃strange man〃 to himself。 Only Amadeo had remained behind; doing some small work with little enthusiasm; his eyes upon this 〃strange man〃 in a manner which gave Vmcenzp concern。
As if that were not enough; Bianca had been to visit; indeed to give me a gift from Florence; a small painting by Botticelli; and she had had 〃uneasy〃 conversation with this 〃strange man〃 and had told Vincenzo to keep watch on him。 Bianca was gone。 The 〃strange man〃 remained。 I went into die anteroom immediately; but I had felt the presence of this creature before I saw who it was。 It was Mael。
Not for a single second did I not know him。 He was unchanged just as I am unchanged; and he had not paid much attention to the fashion of these times; any more than he had paid attention to the fashion of times in the past。
He looked dreadful in fact in a ragged leather jerkin and leggings with holes in them and his boots were tied with rope。
His hair was dirty and tangled but his face wore an amazingly pleasant
expression; and when he saw me he came at once to me and embraced me。
〃You're really here;〃 he said in a low voice; as though we had to whisper under my roof。 He spoke the old Latin。 〃I heard of it but I didn't believe it。 Oh; I'm so glad to see you。 I'm glad you're still。 。 。〃
〃Yes; I know what you mean to say;〃 I said。 〃I'm still the watcher of the years passing; I'm still the witness surviving in the Blood。〃
〃Oh; you put it far better than I could;〃 he answered。 〃But let me say it again; I'm so happy to see you; happy to hear your voice。〃
I saw that there was dust all over him。 He was looking about the room; at its fancy painted ceiling with its ring of cherubs and its gold leaf。 He stared at the unfinished mural。 I wondered if he knew it was my work。
〃Mael; always the astonished one;〃 I said; moving him gently put of the light of the candles。 I laughed softly。 〃You lopk like a tramp。〃
〃Would you offer me clothes again?〃 he asked。 〃I cannot really; you know; master such things。 I am in need; I suppose。 And you live so splendidly here as you always did。 Is nothing ever a mystery to you; Marius?〃
〃Everything is a mystery; Mael;〃 I responded。 〃But fine clothes I always have。 If the world es to an end; I shall be well dressed for it; whether it is by the light of day or in the dark of night。〃
I took his arm and guided him through the various immense rooms that lay between me and my bedchamber。 He was suitably awed by the paintings everywhere and let me lead him along。
〃I want you to stay here; away from my mortal pany;〃 I said。 〃You'll only confuse them。〃
〃Ah; but you've worked it all so well;〃 he said。 〃It was easier for you in old Rome; wasn't it? But what a palace you have here。 There are kings who would envy you; Marius。〃
〃Yes; it seems so;〃 I answered offhandedly。
I went to the adjacent closets; which were small rooms actually; and pulled out clothes for him; and leather shoes。 He seemed quite incapable of dressing himself but I refused to do it for him; and after I had put out everything; on the velvet bed in the correct order; as if for a child or an idiot; he began to examine various articles as if he might manage alone。
〃Who told you I was here; Mael?〃 I asked him。
He glanced at me; and his face was cold for a moment; the old hawk nose as disagreeable as ever; the deep…set eyes rather more brilliant than I'd remembered and the mouth far better shaped than I'd recalled。 Maybe time had softened the set of his lips。 I'm not c