anner.bloodandgold-第38部分
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d on many an evening my house was filled with banqueting guests。
〃I learned of the world from students; poets; soldiers。 In the small hours; I slipped into the great library of Alexandria; a place that you should have visited; Marius。 It is a wonder that you passed over such a treasure house of books。 I did not pass it over。〃
She paused。 Her face was horridly blank; and I knew it was from an excess of emotion。 She did not look at any of us。
〃Yes; I understand this;〃 I said; 〃I understand it very very deeply。 I feel the same need for mortal voices near me; for mortals smiling on me as though I were their own。〃
〃I know your loneliness;〃 she said in a rather hard voice。 And for the first time I had the feeling that the passing expressions on her face were hard as well; that her face was nothing but a beautiful shell for a disturbed soul inside her; of which I knew little from her words。
〃I lived well and for a long time in Alexandria;〃 she said。 〃What greater city was there? And I believed as many blood drinkers do that knowledge alone would sustain me over the decades; that information could somehow stave off despair。〃
I was quite impressed with these words; but I didn't respond。
〃I should have remained in Alexandria;〃 she said; looking off; her voice low and suddenly full of regret。 〃I began to love a certain mortal; a young man who felt great love for me。 One night he made his love known to me; that he would give up all for me…his proposedmarriage; his family; all…if only I would go away with him to Ephesus; the place from which his family had e; and where he wanted to return。〃
She broke off as if she did not mean to go on。
〃It was such love;〃 she said; her words ing more slowly; 〃and all this while he believed that I was a young man。〃
I said nothing。
〃The night he declared his love; I revealed myself。 He was quite horrified by the pretense。 And I took my revenge。〃 She frowned as though she wasn't quite sure of the word。 〃Yes;〃 she said; 〃my revenge。〃
〃You made him a blood drinker;〃 I said softly。
〃Yes;〃 she said; still looking off as though she were back in those times。 〃I did; and by the most brutal and ungraceful force; and once that was done; he saw me with naked and loving eyes。〃
〃Loving eyes?〃 I repeated。
She looked pointedly at Avicus and then back to me。 Then she looked at Avicus again。
I took my measure of him。 I had always thought him rather splendid;
and assumed from his beauty that the Gods of the Grove were chosen for their beauty as well as their endurance; but I tried to see him as she saw him now。 His skin was golden now; rather than brown; and his thick black hair made a dignified frame for his unusually beguiling face。
I looked back to Eudoxia and saw with a little shock that she was looking at me。
〃He loved you again?〃 I asked; locking in immediately upon her story and its meaning。 〃He loved you even when the Blood flowed in his veins?〃
I could not even guess her inner thoughts。
She gave me a grave nod。 〃Yes; he loved me again;〃 she said。 〃And he had the new eyes of the Blood; and I was his teacher; and we all know what charm lies in all that。〃 She smiled bitterly。
A sinister feeling came over me; a feeling that something was very wrong with her; that perhaps she was mad。 But I had to bury this feeling within me and I did。
〃Off we went to Ephesus;〃 she said; going on with her story; 〃and though it was no match for Alexandria; it was nevertheless a great Greek city; with rich trade from the East; and with pilgrims always ing for the worship of the great goddess Artemis; and there we lived until the Great Fire。〃
Her voice became small。 Mortals might not have heard it。
〃The Great Fire destroyed him utterly;〃 she said。 〃He was just that age when all the human flesh was gone from him; and only the blood drinker remained; but the blood drinker had only just begun to be strong。〃
She broke off; as though she could not continue; then she went on:
〃There were only ashes left to me of him。 Ashes and no more。〃
She fell silent and I dared not encourage her。
Then she said:
〃I should have taken him to the Queen before I ever left Alexandria。 But you see; I had no time for the temple blood drinkers and
when I had gone to them; it was as a rebel; talking my way in proudly with tales of the Queen's gestures to me so that I might lay flowers before her; and what if I had brought my lover; and the Queen had made no such gesture as that which she had made to me? And so; you see; I had not brought him; and there in Ephesus; I stood with the ashes in my hands。〃
I remained silent out of respect for her。 I couldn't help but glance at Avicus again。 He was all but weeping。 She had possession of him; heart and soul。
〃Why did I go back to Alexandria after this terrible loss?〃 she asked wearily。 〃Because the temple blood drinkers had told me that the Mother was the Queen of all。 Because they had spoken of the sun and of our burning。 And I knew that something must have befallen our Mother; something had caused this Great Fire; and that only those in the temple would know what it was。 And there was a pain in my flesh; by no means unbearable; but something which I would have healed by the Mother; if I had found her there。〃
I said nothing。
In all the years since I'd taken Those Who Must Be Kept; I had never e upon such a creature as this woman。 And I should say as well that never had such a blood drinker e upon me。
Never had anyone e armed with such eloquence; or history; or old poetry such as this。
〃For centuries;〃 I said; my voice low and gentle; 〃I kept the Mother and Father in Antioch。 Other blood drinkers found me…warlike and violent creatures; creatures badly burnt and bound upon stealing the strong blood。 But you; you never came。〃
She shook her head in negation。
〃Never did Antioch enter my thoughts;〃 she confessed。 〃I believed that you had taken the Mother and Father to Rome。 Marius; the Roman; that is what they called you。 Marius; the Roman; has taken the Mother and the Father。 And so you see; I made a severe error in going to the Imperial City; and after that I went to Crete; and I was never to be close to you; never to find you by the Mind Gift; never to hear tell of where you might be。
〃But I was not always searching for the Mother and Father;〃 she said。 〃I had my passions。 I made blood drinkers to be my panions。 The centuries healed me as you have seen。 I am now far stronger than you are; Marius。 I am infinitely stronger than your panions。 And
though touched by your fine Patrician manners and your old…fashioned Latin; and by the devotion of your friend; Avicus; I must lay down for you some hard terms。〃
〃How so; Eudoxia?〃 I asked calmly。
Mael was in a rage。
She was quiet for a long moment; during which her small delicate features wore nothing but an expression of sweetness and kindness; and then she said with courtesy:
〃Give over the Mother and Father to me; Marius; or I shall destroy you and your panions。 You will not be allowed either to stay or
to go。〃
I could see the shock in Avicus。 As for Mael he was; thank the gods; dumbfounded。 And as for me; I was again stunned。 I waited several moments; and then I asked: 〃Why do you want the Mother and Father; Eudoxia?〃 〃Oh; Marius;〃 she shook her head crossly; 〃don't play the fool。 You know the Mother's blood is the strongest。 I've already told you that every time I ever appealed to her; she gave me the weling gesture; and allowed me to drink。 I want her because I want the power in her。 And also because I would not have this King and Queen; who can be burnt again or put in the sun; given over to others who might do such rash things。〃
〃Have you thought this through?〃 I asked coldly。 〃How would you keep the shrine secret? From what I've seen of your blood drinker panions; they are almost children both in mortal years and in the Blood。 Do you know the weight of this burden?〃
〃I knew it before you ever existed;〃 she said; her face suffused with anger。 〃You play with me; Marius。 And I won't have it。 I know what's in your heart。 You won't give up the Mother because you won't give up the blood。〃
〃Perhaps so; Eudoxia;〃 I said; straining to remain civil。 〃I want time to consider what has been said here。〃
〃No; I give you no time;〃 she said; her voice angry; a blush ing to her cheeks。 〃Answer me now; or I destroy you。〃
Her rage was so sudden it caught me off guard。 Yet quickly; I recovered。
〃And how do you mean to do this?〃 I asked。
Mael jumped to his feet; and moved behind his chair。 I gestured for him to be still。 Avicus sat in mute despair。 The blood tears had begun
to flow from him; and they moved down his face。 He was far more disappointed than fearful。 In fact; he seemed rather solemnly brave。
Eudoxia turned to Avicus; and at once I sensed a threat in her
posture。 Her limbs stiffened; and it seemed that her eyes became unusually hard。 She meant to do something evil to Avicus; and there was no time for me to wait and see what that might be。
I rose; and rushing at her; took hold of her by both