rz.signoftheunicorn-第27部分

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　I　moved　nearer。　Brand　reached　up　and　I　clasped　his　hand。
　〃Good　to　see　that　you　made　it　back；〃　he　said。
　〃Vice　versa；〃　I　said；　and　then　I　took　Gerard's　chair；　trying　not　to　collapse　into　it。
　〃How　do　you　feel　now？〃　I　asked。
　〃Rotten；　in　one　sense。　But　better　than　I　have　in　years；　in　another。　It's　all　relative。〃
　〃Most　things　are。〃
　〃Not　Amber。〃
　I　sighed。
　〃All　right。　I　wasn't　getting　technical。　What　the　hell　happened？〃
　His　gaze　was　most　intense。　He　was　studying　me；　looking　for　something。　What？　Knowledge；　I'd　guess。　Or；　more　correctly；　ignorance。　Negatives　being　harder　to　gauge；　his　mind　had　to　be　moving　fast；　must　have　been　from　the　moment　he　had　e　around。　Knowing　him；　he　was　more　interested　in　what　I　did　not　know　than　in　what　I　knew。　He　wasn't　going　to　give　away　anything　if　he　could　help　it。　He　wanted　to　know　the　minimum　enlightenment　he　need　shed　in　order　to　get　what　he　wanted。　Not　a　watt　more　would　he　willingly　spend。　For　this　was　his　way；　and　of　course　he　wanted　something。　Unless。。。　More　strongly　in　recent　years　than　ever　before　I　have　tried　to　convince　myself　that　people　do　change；　that　the　passage　of　time　does　not　serve　merely　to　accentuate　that　which　is　already　there；　that　qualitative　changes　do　sometimes　occur　in　people　because　of　things　they　have　done；　seen；　thought；　and　felt。　It　would　provide　some　small　solace　in　times　such　as　these　when　everything　else　seems　to　be　going　wrong；　not　to　mention　pepping　up　my　mundane　philosophy　no　end。　And　Brand　had　probably　been　responsible　for　saving　my　life　and　my　memory；　whatever　his　reasons。　Very　well；　I　resolved　to　give　him　the　doubt's　benefit　without　exposing　my　back。　A　small　concession　here；　my　move　against　the　simple　psychology　of　humors　which　generally　governs　the　openings　of　our　games。
　〃Things　are　never　what　they　seem；　Corwin；〃　he　began。　〃Your　friend　today　is　your　enemy　tomorrow　and　…〃
　〃Cut　it　out！〃　I　said。　〃Cards…on…the…table　time　is　here。　I　do　appreciate　what　Brandon　Corey　did　for　me；　and　it　was　my　idea　to　try　the　trick　we　used　to　locate　you　and　bring　you　back。〃
　He　nodded。
　〃I　fancy　there　were　good　reasons　for　a　recrudescence　of　fraternal　sentiment　after　all　this　time。〃
　〃I　might　suppose　you　had　additional　reasons　for　helping　me；　also。〃
　He　smiled　again；　raised　his　right　hand　and　lowered　it。
　〃Then　we　are　either　even　or　in　each　other's　debt；　depending　upon　how　one　looks　at　these　things。　As　it　would　seem　we　now　have　need　of　each　other；　it　would　be　well　to　regard　ourselves　in　the　most　flattering　light。〃
　〃You　are　stalling；　Brand。　You　are　trying　to　psych　me。　You　are　also　spoiling　my　day's　effort　at　idealism。　You　got　me　out　of　bed　to　tell　me　something。　Be　my　guest。〃
　〃Same　old　Corwin；〃　he　said；　chuckling。　Then　he　looked　away。　〃Or　are　you？　I　wonder。。。　Did　it　change　you；　do　you　think？　Living　all　that　while　in　Shadow？　Not　knowing　who　you　really　were？　Being　a　part　of　something　else？〃
　〃Maybe；〃　I　said。　〃I　don't　know。　Yes；　I　guess　I　did。　I　know　that　it　shortened　my　temper　when　it　es　to　family　politics。〃
　〃Plain…speaking；　blunt；　plain…dealing？　You　miss　some　of　the　fun　that　way。　But　then　there　is　a　value　to　such　novelty。　Keep　everyone　unbalanced　with　it。。。　revert　when　they　least　expect　it。。。　Yes；　it　might　prove　valuable。　Refreshing；　too。　All　right！　Panic　not。　Thus　end　my　preliminaries。　All　pleasantries　are　now　exchanged。　I'll　bare　the　basics；　bridle　the　beast　Unreason；　and　wrest　from　murky　mystery　the　pearl　of　sweetest　sense。　But　one　thing　first；　if　you　would。　Have　you　anything　smokable　with　you？　It　has　been　a　number　of　years；　and　I'd　like　some　foul　weed　or　other　…　to　celebrate　my　homeing。〃
　I　started　to　say　no。　But　I　was　sure　there　were　some　cigarettes　in　the　desk；　left　there　by　me。　I　did　not　really　want　the　exercise；　but；　〃Just　a　minute；〃　I　said。
　I　tried　to　make　my　movements　look　casual　rather　than　stiff　as　I　rose　and　crossed　the　room。　I　attempted　to　make　it　seem　as　if　I　were　resting　my　hand　naturally　upon　the　desktop　as　I　rummaged　through　it；　rather　than　leaning　as　heavily　as　I　was。　I　masked　my　movements　with　my　body　and　my　cloak　as　much　as　possible。
　I　located　the　package　and　returned　as　I　had　e；　stopping　to　light　a　pair　at　the　hearth。　Brand　was　slow　in　taking　his　from　me。
　〃Your　hand　is　rather　shaky；〃　he　said。　〃What　is　the　matter？〃
　〃Too　much　partying　last　night；〃　I　said；　returning　to　my　chair。
　〃I　hadn't　thought　of　that。　I　imagine　there　would　have　been；　wouldn't　there？　Of　course。　Everyone　together　in　one　room。。。　Unexpected　success　in　finding　me；　bringing　me　back。。。　A　desperate　move　on　the　part　of　a　very　nervous；　very　guilty　person。。。　Half　success　there。　Me　injured　and　mum；　but　for　how　long？　Then　…〃
　〃You　said　that　you　knew　who　did　it。　Were　you　kidding？〃
　〃No；　I　was　not。〃
　〃Who　then？〃
　〃In　its　place；　dear　brother。　In　its　place。　Sequence　and　order；　time　and　stress　…　they　are　most　important　in　this　matter。　Allow　me　to　savor　the　drama　of　the　event　in　safe　retrospect。　I　see　me　punctured　and　all　of　you　gathered　round。　Ah！　what　would　I　not　give　to　witness　that　tableau！　Could　you　possibly　describe　for　me　the　expression　on　each　face？〃
　〃I'm　afraid　their　faces　were　my　least　concern　at　the　time。〃　He　sighed　and　blew　smoke。
　〃Ah；　that　is　good；〃　he　said。　〃Never　mind；　I　can　see　their　faces。　I've　a　vivid　imagination；　you　know。　Shock；　distress；　puzzlement　…　shading　over　into　suspicion；　fear。　Then　all　of　you　departed；　I'm　told；　and　gentle　Gerard　my　nursemaid　here。〃　He　paused；　stared　into　the　smoke；　and　for　a　moment　the　note　of　mockery　was　absent。
　〃He　is　the　only　decent　one　among　us；　you　know。〃
　〃He's　high　on　my　list；〃　I　said。
　〃He　took　good　care　of　me。　He's　always　looked　out　for　the　rest　of　us。〃　He　chuckled　suddenly。　〃Frankly；　I　can't　see　why　he　bothers。　As　I　was　musing；　though　…　prompted　by　your　recuperating　self　…　you　must　have　adjourned　to　talk　things　over。　There　is　another　party　I'm　sad　I　missed。　All　those　emotions　and　suspicions　and　lies　bouncing　off　one　another　…　and　no　one　wanting　to　be　the　first　to　say　good　night。　It　must　have　gotten　shrill　after　a　time。　Everyone　on　his　own　best　behavior；　with　an　eye　out　to　blacken　the　rest。　Attempts　to　intimidate　the　one　guilty　person。　Perhaps　a　few　stones　shied　at　scapegoats。　But；　all　in　all；　nothing　much　really　acplished。　Am　I　right？〃
　I　nodded；　appreciative　of　the　way　his　mind　worked；　and　resigned　to　letting　him　tell　it　his　way。
　〃You　know　you're　right；〃　I　said。
　He　gave　me　a　sharp　look　at　that；　then　went　on。　〃But　everyone　did　finally　go　off；　to　lie　awake　worrying；　or　to　get　together　with　an　acplice；　to　scheme。　There　were　hidden　turmoils　in　the　night。　It　is　flattering　to　know　that　my　well…being　was　on　everyone's　mind。　Some；　of　course；　were　for　it；　others　against。　And　in　the　midst　of　it　all；　I　rallied　…　nay；　flourished　…　not　wishing　to　disappoint　my　supporters。　Gerard　spent　a　long　while　bringing　me　up　to　date　on　recent　history。　When　I　had　enough　of　this；　I　sent　for　you。〃
　〃In　case　you　haven't　noticed。　I'm　here。　What　did　you　want　to　tell　me？〃
　〃Patience；　brother！　Patience！　Consider　all　the　years　you　spent　in　Shadow；　not　even　remembering　…　this。〃　He　gestured　widely　with　his　cigarette。　〃Consider　all　that　time　you　waited；　unknowing；　until　I　succeeded　in　locating　you　and　tried　to　remedy　your　plight。　Surely　a　few　moments　now　are　not　so　priceless　by　contrast。〃
　〃I　was　told　that　you　had　sought　me；〃　I　said。　〃I　wondered　at　that；　for　we　had　not　exactly　parted　on　the　best　of　terms　the　last　time　we　were　together。〃
　He　nodded。
　〃I　cannot　deny　it；〃　he　said。　〃But　I　always　get　over　such　things；　eventually。〃
　I　snorted。
　〃I　have　been　deciding　how　much　to　tell　you；　and　what　you　would　believe；〃　he　continued。　〃I　doubted　you　would　accept　it　if　I　had　simply　e　out　and　said　that；　save　for　a　few　small　items；　my　present　motives　are　almost　entirely　altruistic。〃
　I　snorted　again。
　〃But　this　is　true；〃　he　went　on；　〃and　to　lay　your　suspicions；　I　add　that　it　is　because　I　have　small　choice　in　it。　Beginnings　are　always　difficult。　Wherever　I　begin；　something　preceded　it。　You　were　gone　for　so　long。　If　one　must　name　a　single　thing；　however；　then　let　it　be　the　throne。　There。　I　have　said　it。　We　had　thought　of　a　way　to　take　it；　you　see。　This　was　just　after　your　disappearance；　and　in　some　ways；　I　suppose；　prompted　by　it。　Dad　suspected　Eric　of　having　slain　you。　But　there　was　no　evidence。　We　worked　on　this　feeling；　though　…　a　word　here　and　there；　every　now　and　then。　Years　passed；　with　you　unreachable　by　any　means；　and　it　seemed　more　and　more　likely　that　you　were　indeed　dead。　Dad　looked　upon　Eric　with　growing　disfavor。　Then；　one　night；　pursuant　to　a　discussion　I　had　begun　on　a　totally　neutral　matter　…　most　of　us　present　at　the　table　…　he　said　that　no　fratricide　would　ever　take　the　throne；　and　he　was　looking　at　Eric　as　he　said　it。　You　know　how　his　eyes　could　get。　Eric　grew　bright　as　a　sunset　and　could　not　swallow　for　a　long　while。　But　then　Dad　took　things　much　further　than　any　of　us　had　anticipated　or　desired。　In　fairness　to　you；　I　do　not　know　whether　he　spoke　solely　to　vent　his　feelings；　or　whether　he　actually　meant　what　he　said。　But　he　told　us　that　he　had　more　than　half　decided　upon　you　as　his　successor；　so　that　he　took　whatever　misadventure　had　befallen　you　quite　personally。　He　would　not　have　spoken　of　it；