sk.petsematary-第59部分

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john。　He　went　to　the　mirror　to　see　how　badly　bloodshot　his　eyes　were；　but　the　glass　had　been　covered　with　a　square　of　sheeting。　Then　he　recalled。　Drawing　almost　randomly　on　a　past　she　professed　to　barely　remember；　Rachel　had　covered　all　the　mirrors　in　the　house；　and　she　took　off　her　shoes　before　entering　through　the　door。
　　No　Olympic　swimming　team；　Louis　thought　dully　as　he　walked　back　to　his　bed　and　sat　down　on　it。　The　sour　taste　of　beer　coated　his　mouth　and　throat；　and　he　swore　to　himself　（not　for　the　first　time　or　the　last）　that　he　would　never　touch　that　poison　again。　No　Olympic　swimming　team；　no　3。0　in　college；　no　little　Catholic　girlfriend　or　conversion；　no　Camp　Agawam；　no　nothing。　His　sneakers　had　been　torn　off；　his　jumper　turned　inside　out；　his　sweet　little　boy's　body；　so　tough　and　sturdy；　nearly　dismembered。　His　cap　had　been　full　of　blood。
　　Now；　sitting　on　his　bed　in　the　grip　of　this　numbing　hangover；　rainwater　spilling　its　lazy　courses　down　the　window　beside　him；　his　grief　came　for　him　fully；　like　some　gray　matron　from　Ward　Nine　in　purgatory。　It　came　and　dissolved　him；　unmanned　him；　took　away　whatever　defenses　remained；　and　he　put　his　face　in　his　hands　and　cried；　rocking　back　and　forth　on　his　bed；　thinking　he　would　do　anything　to　have　a　second　chance；　anything　at　all。
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　　Gage　was　buried　at　two　o'clock　that　afternoon。　By　then　the　rain　had　stopped。　Tattered　clouds　still　moved　overhead；　and　most　of　the　mourners　arrived　carrying　black　umbrellas　provided　by　the　undertaker。
　　At　Rachel's　request；　the　funeral　director；　who　officiated　at　the　short；　nonsectarian　graveside　service；　read　the　passage　from　Matthew　which　begins　〃Suffer　the　little　children　to　e　unto　Me。〃　Louis；　standing　on　one　side　of　the　grave；　looked　across　at　his　father…in…law。　For　a　moment　Goldman　looked　back　at　him；　and　then　he　dropped　his　eyes。　There　was　no　fight　left　in　him　today。　The　pouches　under　his　eyes　now　resembled　mailbags；　and　around　his　black　silk　skullcap；　hair　as　fine　and　white　as　tattered　spiderwebs　flew　randomly　in　the　breeze。　With　his　grayish…black　beard　scragging　his　cheeks；　he　looked　more　like　a　wino　than　ever。　He　gave　Louis　the　impression　of　a　man　who　did　not　really　know　where　he　was。　Louis　tried　but　could　still　find　no　pity　in　his　heart　for　him。
　　Gage's　small　white　coffin；　its　latch　presumably　repaired；　sat　on　a　pair　of　chromed　runners　over　the　grave　liner。　The　verges　of　the　grave　had　been　carpeted　with　Astroturf　so　violently　green　it　hurt　Louis's　eyes。　Several　baskets　of　flowers　had　been　set　on　top　of　this　artificial　and　strangely　gay　surface。　Louis's　eyes　looked　over　the　funeral　director's　shoulder。　Here　was　a　low　hill；　covered　with　graves；　family　plots；　one　Romanesque　monument　with　the　name　PHIPPS　engraved　on　it。　Just　above　the　sloping　roof　of　PHIPPS；　he　could　see　a　sliver　of　yellow。　Louis　looked　at　this；　pondering　it。　He　continued　to　look　at　it　even　after　the　funeral　director　said；　〃Let　us　bow　our　heads　for　a　moment　of　silent　prayer。〃　It　took　Louis　a　few　minutes；　but　he　got　it。　It　was　a　payloader。　A　payloader　parked　over　the　hill　where　the　mourners　wouldn't　have　to　look　at　it。　And；　when　the　funeral　was　over；　Oz　would　crush　his　cigarette　on　the　heel　of　his　tewwible　workboot；　put　it　in　whatever　container　he　carried　around　with　him　（in　a　cemetery；　sextons　caught　depositing　their　butts　on　the　ground　were　almost　always　summarily　fired…it　looked　bad；　too　many　of　the　clientele　had　died　of　lung　cancer）；　jump　in　the　payloader；　fire　that　sucker　up；　and　cut　his　son　off　from　the　sun　forever　。　。　。　or　at　least　until　the　day　of　the　Resurrection。
　　Resurrection。　。　。　ah；　there's　a　word
　　（that　you　should　put　right　the　fuck　out　of　your　mind　and　you　know　it）。
　　When　the　funeral　director　said　〃Amen；〃　Louis　took　Rachel's　arm　and　guided　her　away。　Rachel　murmured　some　protest…she　wanted　to　stay　a　bit　longer；　please；　Louis…but　Louis　was　firm。　They　approached　the　cars。　He　saw　the　funeral　director　taking　umbrellas　with　the　home's　name　discreetly　printed　on　the　handles　from　the　mourners　who　passed　and　handing　them　to　an　assistant。　The　assistant　put　them　in　an　umbrella　stand　which　looked　surreal；　standing　there　on　the　dewy　turf。　He　held　Rachel's　arm　with　his　right　hand　and　Ellie's　white…gloved　hand　with　his　left。　Ellie　was　wearing　the　same　dress　she　had　worn　to　Norma　Crandall's　funeral。
　　Jud　came　over　as　Louis　handed　his　ladies　into　the　car。　Jud　also　looked　as　if　he'd　had　a　hard　night。
　　〃You　okay；　Louis？〃
　　Louis　nodded。
　　Jud　bent　to　look　into　the　car。　〃How　are　you；　Rachel？〃　he　asked。
　　〃I'm　all　right；　Jud；〃　she　whispered。
　　Jud　touched　her　shoulder　gently　and　then　looked　at　Ellie。　How　about　you；　dear　one？〃
　　〃I'm　fine；〃　Ellie　said　and　produced　a　hideous　smile　of　sharklike　proportions　to　show　him　how　fine　she　was。
　　〃What's　that　picture　you　got　there？〃
　　For　a　moment　Louis　thought　she　would　hold　it；　refuse　to　show　him；　and　then　with　a　painful　shyness　she　passed　it　to　Jud。　He　held　it　in　his　big　fingers；　fingers　that　were　so　splayed　and　somehow　clumsy…looking；　fingers　that　looked　fit　mostly　for　grappling　with　the　transmissions　of　big　road　machines　or　making　couplings　on　the　B　&　M　Line…but　they　were　also　the　fingers　that　had　pulled　a　bee　stinger　from　Gage's　neck　with　all　the　offhand　skill　of　a　magician。　。　。　or　a　surgeon。
　　〃Why；　that's　real　nice；〃　Jud　said。　〃You　pullin　him　on　a　sled。　Bet　he　liked　that；　didn't　he；　Ellie？〃
　　Beginning　to　weep；　Ellie　nodded。
　　Rachel　began　to　say　something；　but　Louis　squeezed　her　arm…　be　still　awhile。
　　〃I　used　to　pull　im　a　lot；〃　Ellie　said；　weeping；　〃and　he'd　laugh　and　laugh。　Then　we'd　go　in　and　Mommy　would　fix　us　cocoa　and　say；　'Put　your　boots　away；'　and　Gage　would　grab　them　all　up　and　scream　'Boots！　Boots！'　so　loud　it　hurt　your　ears。　Remember　that；　Mom？〃
　　Rachel　nodded。
　　〃Yeah；　I　bet　that　was　a　good　time；　all　right；〃　Jud　said；　handing　the　picture　back。　〃And　he　may　be　dead　now；　Ellie；　but　you　can　keep　your　memories　of　him。〃
　　〃I'm　going　to；〃　she　said；　wiping　at　her　face。　〃I　loved　Gage；　Mr。　Crandall。〃
　　〃I　know　you　did；　dear。〃　He　leaned　in　and　kissed　her；　and　when　he　withdrew；　his　eyes　swept　Louis　and　Rachel　stonily。　Rachel　met　his　gaze；　puzzled　and　a　little　hurt；　not　understanding。　But　Louis　understood　well　enough：　What　are　you　doing　for　her？　Jud's　eyes　asked。　Your　son　is　dead；　but　your　daughter　is　not。　What　are　you　doing　for　her？
　　Louis　looked　away。　There　was　nothing　he　could　do　for　her；　not　yet。　She　would　have　to　swim　in　her　grief　as　best　she　could。　His　thoughts　were　too　full　of　his　son。
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　　By　evening　a　fresh　rack　of　clouds　had　e　in　and　a　strong　west　wind　had　begun　to　blow。　Louis　put　on　his　light　jacket；　zipped　it　up；　and　took　the　Civic　keys　from　the　peg　on　the　wall。
　　〃Where　you　going；　Lou？〃　Rachel　asked。　She　spoke　without　much　interest。　After　supper　she　had　begun　crying　again；　and　although　her　weeping　was　gentle；　she　had　seemed　incapable　of　stopping。　Louis　had　forced　her　to　take　a　Valium。　Now　she　sat　with　the　paper　folded　open　to　the　barely　started　crossword　puzzle。　In　the　other　room；　Ellie　sat　silently　watching　〃Little　House　on　the　Prairie〃　with　Gage's　picture　on　her　lap。
　　〃I　thought　I'd　pick　up　a　pizza。〃
　　〃Didn't　you　get　enough　to　eat　earlier？〃
　　〃I　just　didn't　seem　hungry　then；〃　he　said；　telling　the　truth　and　then　adding　a　lie：　〃I　am　now。〃
　　That　afternoon；　between　three　and　six；　the　final　rite　of　Gage's　funeral　had　taken　place　at　the　Ludlow　house。　This　was　the　rite　of　food。　Steve　Masterton　and　his　wife　had　e　with　a　hamburger…and…noodle　casserole。　Charlton　had　appeared　with　a　quiche。　〃It　will　keep　until　you　want　it；　if　it　doesn't　all　get　eaten；〃　she　told　Rachel。　〃Quiche　is　easy　to　warm　up。〃　The　Dannikers　from　up　the　road　brought　a　baked　ham。　The　Goldmans　appeared…neither　of　them　would　speak　to　Louis　or　even　e　close　to　him；　for　which　he　was　not　sorry…with　a　variety　of　cold　cuts　and　cheeses。　Jud　also　brought　cheese…a　large　wheel　of　his　old　favorite；　Mr。　Rat。　Missy　Dandridge　brought　a　key　lime　pie。　And　Surrendra　Hardu　brought　apples。　The　rite　of　food　apparently　transcended　religious　differences。
　　This　was　the　funeral　party；　and　although　it　was　quiet；　it　was　not　quite　subdued。　There　was　rather　less　drinking　than　at　an　ordinary　party；　but　there　was　some。　After　a　few　beers　（only　the　night　before　he　had　sworn　he　would　never　touch　the　stuff　again；　but　in　the　cold　afternoon　light　the　previous　evening　had　seemed　impossibly　long　ago）　Louis　thought　to　pass　on　a　few　little　funerary　anecdotes　his　Uncle　Carl　had　told　him…that　at　Sicilian　funerals　unmarried　women　sometimes　snipped　a　piece　of　the　deceased's　shroud　and　slept　with　it　under　their　pillows；　believing　it　would　bring　them　luck　in　love；　that　at　Irish　funerals　mock　weddings　were　sometimes　performed；　and　the　toes　of　the　dead　were　tied　together　because　of　an　ancient　Celtic　belief　that　it　kept　the　deceased's　ghost　from　walking。　Uncle　Carl　said　that　the　custom　of　tying　D。O。A。　tags　to　the　great　toes　of　corpses　had　begun　in　New　York；　and　since　all　of　the　early　morgue　keepers　had　been　Irish；　he　believed　this　to　be　a　survival　of　that　old　superstition。　Then；　looking　at　their　faces；　he　had　decided　such　tales　would　be　taken　wrong。
　　Rachel　had　broken　down　only　once；　and　her　mother　was　t