sk.petsematary-第36部分

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　　When　the　sound　from　the　drain　was　gone　he　could　hear　the　wind　outside；　thin　and　wild；　ing　from　the　north；　bringing　down　winter；　and　he　realized　he　was　afraid；　simply；　stupidly　afraid；　the　way　you　are　afraid　when　a　cloud　suddenly　sails　across　the　sun　and　somewhere　you　hear　a　ticking　sound　you　can't　account　for。
　　〃A　hundred　and　three？〃　Rachel　asked。　〃Jesus；　Lou！　Are　you　sure？〃
　　〃It's　a　virus；〃　Louis　said。　He　tried　not　to　let　Rachel's　voice；　which　seemed　almost　accusatory；　grate　on　him。　She　was　tired。　It　had　been　a　long　day　for　her；　she　had　crossed　half　the　country　with　her　kids　today。　Here　it　was　eleven　o'clock；　and　the　day　wasn't　over　yet。　Ellie　was　deeply　asleep　in　her　room。　Gage　was　on　their　bed　in　a　state　that　could　best　be　described　as　semiconscious。
　　Louis　had　started　him　on　Liquiprin　an　hour　ago。　〃The　aspirin　will　bring　his　fever　down　by　morning；　hon。〃
　　〃Aren't　you　going　to　give　him　ampicfflin　or　anything？〃
　　Patiently；　Louis　said；　〃If　he　had　the　flu　or　a　strep　infection；　I　would。　He　doesn't。　He's　got　a　virus；　and　that　stuff　doesn't　do　doodly…squat　for　viruses。　It　would　just　give　him　the　runs　and　dehydrate　him　more。〃
　　〃Are　you　sure　it's　a　virus？〃
　　〃Well；　if　you　want　a　second　opinion；〃　Louis　snapped；　〃be　my　guest。〃
　　〃You　don't　have　to　shout　at　me！〃　Rachel　shouted。
　　〃I　wasn't　shouting！〃　Louis　shouted　back。
　　〃You　were；〃　Rachel　began；　〃you　were　shuh…shuh…shouting…〃　And　then　her　mouth　began　to　quiver　and　she　put　a　hand　up　to　her　face。　Louis　saw　there　were　deep　gray…brown　pockets　under　her　eyes　and　felt　badly　ashamed　of　himself。
　　〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said；　and　sat　down　beside　her。　〃Christ；　I　don't　know　what's　the　matter　with　me。　I　apologize；　Rachel。〃
　　〃Never　plain；　never　explain；〃　she　said；　smiling　wanly。　〃Isn't　that　what　you　told　me　once？　The　trip　was　a　bitch。　And　I've　been　afraid　you'd　hit　the　roof　when　you　looked　in　Gage's　dresser　drawers。　I　guess　maybe　I　ought　to　tell　you　now；　while　you're　feeling　sorry　for　me。〃
　　〃What's　to　hit　the　roof　about？〃
　　She　smiled　wanly。　〃My　mother　and　father　bought　him　ten　new　outfits。　He　was　wearing　one　of　them　today。〃
　　〃I　noticed　he　had　on　something　new；〃　he　said　shortly。
　　〃I　noticed　you　noticing；〃　she　replied　and　pulled　a　ic　scowl　that　made　him　laugh；　although　he　didn't　feel　much　like　laughing。　〃And　six　new　dresses　for　Ellie。〃
　　〃Six　dresses！〃　he　said；　strangling　the　urge　to　yell。　He　was　suddenly　furious…sickly　furious　and　hurt　in　a　way　he　couldn't　explain。　〃Rachel；　why？　Why　did　you　let　him　do　that？　We　don't　need。　。　。　we　can　buy。　。　。〃
　　He　ceased。　His　rage　had　made　him　inarticulate；　and　for　a　moment　he　saw　himself　carrying　Ellie's　dead　cat　through　the　woods；　shifting　the　plastic　bag　from　one　hand　to　the　other。　。　。　and　all　the　while　Irwin　Goldman；　that　dirty　old　fuck　from　Lake　Forest；　had　been　busy　trying　to　buy　his　daughter's　affection　by　unlimbering　the　world…famous　checkbook　and　the　world…famous　fountain　pen。
　　For　one　moment　he　felt　himself　on　the　verge　of　shouting　He　bought　her　six　dresses　and　I　brought　her　goddam　cat　back　from　the　dead；　so　who　loves　her　more？
　　He　clamped　down　on　the　words。　He　would　never　say　anything　like　that。　Never。
　　She　touched　his　neck　gently。　〃Louis；〃　she　said。　〃It　was　both　of　them　together。　Please　try　to　see。　Please。　They　love　the　children；　and　they　don't　see　them　much。　And　they're　getting　old。　Louis；　you'd　hardly　recognize　my　father。　Really。〃
　　〃I'd　recognize　him；〃　Louis　muttered。
　　〃Please；　honey。　Try　to　see。　Try　to　be　kind。　It　doesn't　hurt　you。〃　He　looked　at　her　for　a　long　time。　〃It　does　though；〃　he　said　finally。　〃Maybe　it　shouldn't；　but　it　does。〃
　　She　opened　her　mouth　to　reply；　and　then　Ellie　called　out　from　her　room：　〃Daddy！　Mommy！　Somebody！〃
　　Rachel　started　to　get　up；　and　Louis　pulled　her　back　down。　〃Stay　with　Gage。　I'll　go。〃　He　thought　he　knew　what　the　trouble　was。　But　he　had　put　the　cat　out；　damn　it；　after　Ellie　had　gone　to　bed；　he　had　caught　it　in　the　kitchen　sniffing　around　its　dish　and　had　put　it　out。　He　didn't　want　the　cat　sleeping　with　her。　Not　anymore。　Odd　thoughts　of　disease；　mingled　with　memories　of　Uncle　Carl's　funeral　parlor；　had　e　to　him　when　he　thought　of　Church　sleeping　on　Ellie's　bed。
　　She's　going　to　know　that　something's　wrong　and　Church　was　better　before。
　　He　had　put　the　cat　out；　but　when　be　went　in；　Ellie　was　sitting　up　in　bed；　more　asleep　than　awake；　and　Church　was　spread　out　on　the　counterpane；　a　batlike　shadow。　The　cat's　eyes　were　open　and　stupidly　gleaming　in　the　light　from　the　hail。
　　〃Daddy；　put　him　out；〃　Ellie　almost　groaned。　〃He　stinks　so　bad。〃
　　〃Shhh；　Ellie；　go　to　sleep；〃　Louis　said；　astounded　by　the　calmness　of　his　own　voice。　It　made　him　think　of　the　morning　after　his　sleepwalking　incident；　the　day　after　Pascow　had　died。　Getting　to　the　infirmary　and　ducking　into　the　bathroom　to　look　at　himself　in　the　mirror；　convinced　that　he　must　look　like　hell。　But　he　had　looked　pretty　much　all　right。　It　was　enough　to　make　you　wonder　how　many　people　were　going　around　with　dreadful　secrets　bottled　up　inside。
　　It's　not　a　secret；　goddammit！　It's　just　the　cat！
　　But　Ellie　was　right。　It　stank　to　high　heaven。
　　He　took　the　cat　out　of　her　room　and　carried　it　downstairs；　trying　to　breathe　through　his　mouth。　There　were　worse　smells；　shit　was　worse；　if　you　wanted　to　be　perfectly　blunt。　A　month　ago　they'd　had　a　go…round　with　the　septic　tank；　and　as　Jud　had　said　when　he　came　over　to　watch　Puffer　and　Sons　pump　the　tank；　〃That　ain't　Chanel　Number　Five；　is　it；　Louis？〃　The　smell　of　a　gangrenous　wound…what　old　Doctor　Bracermunn　at　med　school　had　called　〃hot　flesh〃…was　worse　too。　Even　the　smell　which　came　from　the　Civic's　catalytic　converter　when　it　had　been　idling　in　the　garage　for　a　while　was　worse。
　　But　this　smell　was　pretty　damn　bad。　And　how　had　the　cat　gotten　in；　anyway？　He　had　put　it　out　earlier；　sweeping　it　out　with　the　broom　while　all　three　of　them…his　people…were　upstairs。　This　was　the　first　time　he　had　actually　held　the　cat　since　the　day　it　had　e　back；　almost　a　week　ago。　It　lay　hotly　in　his　arms；　like　a　quiescent　disease；　and　Louis　wondered；　What　bolthole　did　you　find；　you　bastard？
　　He　thought　suddenly　of　his　dream　that　other　night…Pascow　simply　passing　through　the　door　between　the　kitchen　and　the　garage。
　　Maybe　there　was　no　bolthole。　Maybe　it　had　just　passed　through　the　door；　like　a　ghost。
　　〃Bag　that；〃　he　whispered　aloud；　and　his　voice　was　slightly　hoarse。
　　Louis　became　suddenly　sure　that　the　cat　would　begin　to　struggle　in　his　arms；　that　it　would　scratch　him。　But　Church　lay　totally　still；　radiating　that　stupid　heat　and　that　dirty　stink；　looking　at　Louis's　face　as　if　it　could　read　the　thoughts　going　on　behind　Louis's　eyes。
　　He　opened　the　door　and　tossed　the　cat　out　into　the　garage；　maybe　a　little　too　hard。　〃Go　on；〃　he　said。　〃Kill　another　mouse　or　something。〃
　　Church　landed　awkwardly；　its　hindquarters　bunching　beneath　it　and　momentarily　collapsing。　It　seemed　to　shoot　Louis　a　look　of　green；　ugly　hate。　Then　it　strolled　drunkenly　off　and　was　gone。
　　Christ；　Jud；　he　thought；　but　I　wish　you'd　kept　your　mouth　shut。　He　went　to　the　sink　and　washed　his　hands　and　forearms　vigorously；　as　if　scrubbing　for　an　operation。　You　do　it　because　it　gets　hold　of　you。　。　。　you　make　up　reasons。　。　。　they　seem　like　good　reasons　。　。　。　but　mostly　you　do　it　because　once　you've　been　up　there；　it's　your　place；　and　you　belong　to　it。　。　。　and　you　make　up　the　sweetest…smelling　reasons　in　the　world。
　　No；　he　couldn't　blame　Jud。　He　had　gone　of　his　own　free　will　and　he　couldn't　blame　Jud。
　　He　turned　off　the　water　and　began　to　dry　his　hands　and　arms。　Suddenly　the　towel　stopped　moving　and　he　stared　straight　ahead；　looking　out　into　the　little　piece　of　night　framed　in　the　window　over　the　sink。
　　Does　that　mean　it's　my　place　now？　That　it's　mine　too？
　　No。　Not　if　I　don't　want　it　to　be。
　　He　slung　the　towel　over　the　rack　and　went　upstairs。
　　Rachel　was　in　bed；　the　covers　pulled　up　to　her　chin；　and　Gage　was　tucked　in　neatly　beside　her。　She　looked　at　Louis　apologetically。　〃Would　you　mind；　hon？　Just　for　tonight？　I'd　feel　better　having　him　with　me。　He's　so　hot。〃
　　〃No；〃　Louis　said。　〃That's　fine。　I'll　pull　out　the　hide…a…bed　downstairs。〃
　　〃You　really　don't　mind？〃
　　〃No。　It　won't　hurt　Cage；　and　it'll　make　you　feel　better。〃　He　paused；　then　smiled。　〃You're　going　to　pick　up　his　virus；　though。　That　es　almost　guaranteed。　I　don't　suppose　that　changes　your　mind；　does　it？〃
　　She　smiled　back　and　shook　her　head。　〃What　was　Ellie　fussing　about？〃
　　〃Church。　She　wanted　me　to　take　Church　away。〃
　　〃Ellie　wanted　Church　taken　away？　That's　a　switch。〃
　　〃Yeah；　it　is；〃　Louis　agreed　and　then　added；　〃She　said　he　smelled　bad；　and　I　did　think　he　was　a　little　fragrant。　Maybe　he　rolled　in　a　pile　of　someone's　mulch；　or　something。〃
　　〃That's　too　bad；〃　Rachel　said；　rolling　over　on　her　side。　〃I　really　think　Ellie　missed　Church　as　much　as　she　missed　you。〃
　　〃Uh…huh；〃　Louis　said。　He　bent　and　kissed　her　mouth　softly。　'Go　to　sleep；　Rachel。〃
　　〃I　love　you；　Lou。　I'm　glad　to　be　home。　And　I'm　sorry　about　the　couch。〃
　　〃It's　okay；〃　Louis　said；　and　turned　out　the　light。
　　Downstairs；　he　stacked　the　couch　cushions；　pulled　out　the　hide…a…bed；　and　tried　to　prep