ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第54部分

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　Denise　poured　two　drinks　and　handed　him　one。　She　was　smiling；　her　eyes　warm。　Her　lips　said　softly；　〃Wele　to　New　York　from　a　mittee　of　one。〃
　He　sipped　the　martini；　it　was　cool　and　dry。　He　said　lightly；　〃Please　thank　the　mittee。〃
　For　a　brief　moment　her　eyes　caught　his。　Then；　taking　his　arm；　she　moved　across　the　terrace　toward　the　low；　pillared　balustrade　which　marked　its　end。
　O'Donnell　asked；　〃How　is　your　father；　Denise？〃
　〃He's　well；　thank　you。　Entrenched　like　a　true　die…hard；　of　course；　but　in　good　health。　Sometimes　I　think　he'll　outlive　us　all。〃　She　added；　〃I'm　very　fond　of　him。〃
　They　had　stopped　and　stood　looking　down。　It　was　dusk　now；　the　warm；　mellow　dusk　of　late　summer；　and　the　lights　of　New　York　were　flickering　on。　From　the　streets　below　the　throb　of　evening　traffic　was　steady　and　insistent；　punctuated　by　the　peaklike　whine　of　diesel　buses　and　the　full　points　of　impatient　horns。　Across　the　way；　its　outline　blurring　into　shadow；　was　Central　Park；　only　scattered　street　lamps　marking　the　roadways　through。　Beyond；　the　west…side　streets　dimmed　darkly　into　the　Hudson　River；　and　on　the　river　the　pinpoint　lamps　of　shipping　were　a　link　between　the　blackness　and　the　distant　glimmering　New　Jersey　shore。　Uptown；　O'Donnell　could　see　the　George　Washington　Bridge；　its　highstrung　floodlights　a　chain　of　white；　bright　beads；　and；　below；　the　headlights　of　cars；　multi…laned；　streaming　across　the　bridge；　away　from　the　city。　O'Donnell　thought：　People　going　home。
　A　warm；　soft　breeze　stirred　around　them；　and　he　was　conscious　of　Denise's　closeness。　Her　voice　said　softly；　〃It's　beautiful；　isn't　it？　Even　though　you　know　that　under　the　lights　there　are　things　that　are　wrong　and　hateful；　it's　still　beautiful。　I　love　it　all；　especially　at　this　time　of　evening。〃
　He　said；　〃Have　you　ever　considered　going　back…to　Burlington；　I　mean？〃
　〃To　live？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃You　can　never　go　back；〃　Denise　said　quietly。　〃It's　one　of　the　few　things　I've　learned。　Oh；　I　don't　mean　just　Burlington；　but　everything　else…time；　people；　places。　You　can　revisit；　or　renew　acquaintance；　but　it's　never　really　the　same；　you're　detached；　you're　passing　through；　you　don't　belong　because　you've　moved　on。〃　She　paused。　〃I　belong　here　now。　I　don't　believe　I　could　ever　leave　New　York。　Do　I　sound　terribly　unrealistic？〃
　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃You　sound　terribly　wise。〃
　He　felt　her　hand　on　his　arm。　〃Let's　have　one　more　cocktail；〃　she　said；　〃then　you　may　take　me　to　dinner。〃
　Afterward　they　had　gone　to　the　Maisonette；　a　discreet　and　pleasantly　appointed　night　club　on　Fifth　Avenue。　They　had　dined　and　danced；　and　now　they　had　e　back　to　their　table。　〃How　long　have　you　in　New　York？〃　Denise　asked。
　〃I　go　back　in　three　more　days；〃　he　answered。
　She　inclined　her　head。　〃Why　so　soon？〃
　〃I'm　a　workingman。〃　He　smiled。　〃My　patients　expect　me　to　be　around　and　there's　a　lot　of　hospital　business　too。〃
　Denise　said；　〃I　rather　think　I　shall　miss　you。〃
　He　thought　for　a　moment；　then　turned　to　face　her。　Without　preliminary　he　said；　〃You　know　that　I've　never　been　married。〃
　〃Yes。〃　She　nodded　gravely。
　〃I'm　forty…two；〃　he　said。　〃In　that　time；　living　alone；　one　forms　habits　and　patterns　of　life　that　might　be　hard　to　change　or　for　someone　else　to　accept。〃　He　paused。　〃What　I'm　trying　to　say；　I　suppose；　is　that　I　might　be　difficult　to　live　with。〃
　Denise　reached　out　and　covered　his　hand　with　her　own。　〃Kent；　darling；　may　I　be　clear　about　something？〃　She　had　the　slightest　of　smiles。　〃Is　this　by　any　chance　a　proposal　of　marriage？〃
　O'Donnell　was　grinning　broadly；　he　felt　absurdly；　exuberantly；　boyish。　〃Now　that　you　mention　it；〃　he　said；　〃I　rather　think　it　is。〃
　There　was　a　moment's　silence　before　Denise　answered；　and　when　she　spoke　he　sensed　that　she　was　maneuvering　for　time。　〃I'm　very　flattered；　but　aren't　you　being　a　little　rash？　After　all；　we　scarcely　know　one　another。〃
　〃I　love　you；　Denise；〃　he　said　simply。
　He　felt　her　regarding　him　searchingly。　〃I　could　love　you　too；〃　she　said。　Then　she　added；　speaking　slowly　and　choosing　her　words；　〃At　this　moment　everything　in　me　tells　me　to　say　yes　and　to　grab　you；　dearest；　with　two　eager　hands。　But　there's　a　whisper　of　caution。　When　you've　made　one　mistake　you　feel　the　need　to　be　careful　about　mitting　yourself　again。〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃I　can　understand　that。〃
　〃I've　never　fallen　in；〃　she　said；　〃with　the　popular　idea　that　one　can　shed　partners　quickly　and　afterward　get　over　it；　rather　like　taking　an　indigestion　tablet。　That's　one　of　the　reasons；　I　suppose；　why　I've　never　got　a　divorce。〃
　〃The　divorce　wouldn't　be　difficult？〃
　〃Not　really。　I　imagine　I　could　go　to　Nevada　to　arrange　it；　or　some　such　place。　But　there's　the　other　thing…you're　in　Burlington；　I'm　in　New　York。〃
　He　said　carefully；　〃You　really　meant　what　you　said；　Denise…about　not　living　in　Burlington？〃
　She　thought　before　answering。　〃Yes。　I'm　afraid　I　do。　I　couldn't　live　there…ever。　There's　no　use　pretending；　Kent；　I　know　myself　too　well。〃
　A　waiter　appeared　with　coffee　and　replenished　then：　cups。　O'Donnell　said；　〃I　feel　a　sudden　pulsion　for　the　two　of　us　to　be　alone。〃
　Denise　said　softly；　〃Why　don't　we　go？〃
　He　called　for　the　check　and　paid　it；　helping　Denise　on　with　her　wrap。　Outside　a　doorman　summoned　a　cab　and　O'Donnell　gave　the　address　of　the　Fifth　Avenue　apartment。　When　they　had　settled　back；　Denise　said；　〃This　is　a　very　selfish　question；　but　have　you　ever　considered　moving　your　practice　to　New　York？〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　answered；　〃I'm　thinking　about　it　now。〃
　He　was　still　thinking　when　they　entered　the　apartment　block　and　rode　up　in　the　elevator。　Ever　since　Denise's　question　he　had　been　asking　himself：　Why　shouldn't　I　go　to　New　York？　There　are　fine　hospitals；　this　is　a　medical　city。　It　would　not　be　difficult　to　get　on　staff　somewhere。　Setting　up　practice　would　be　paratively　easy；　his　own　record；　as　well　as　the　friends　he　had　in　New　York；　would　bring　him　referrals。　He　reasoned：　What　really　keeps　me　tied　to　Burlington？　Does　my　life　belong　there…now　and　for　always？　Isn't　it　time；　perhaps；　for　a　change；　a　new　environment？　I'm　not　married　to　Three　Counties　Hospital；　nor　am　I　indispensable。　There　are　things　I'd　miss；　it's　true；　the　sense　of　building　and　creation；　and　the　people　I've　worked　with。　But　I've　acplished　a　great　deal；　no　one　can　ever　deny　that。　And　New　York　means　Denise。　Wouldn't　it　be　worth　it…all？
　At　the　twentieth　floor　Denise　used　her　own　key　to　let　them　in；　there　was　no　sign　of　the　manservant　O'Donnell　had　seen　earlier。
　As　if　by　consent　they　moved　to　the　terrace。　Denise　asked；　〃Kent；　would　you　like　a　drink？〃
　〃Perhaps　later；〃　he　said；　and　reached　out　toward　her。　She　came　to　him　easily　and　their　lips　met。　It　was　a　lingering　kiss。　His　arms　tightened　around　her　and　he　felt　her　body　respond　to　his　own。　Then　gently　she　disengaged　herself。
　Half　turned　away；　she　said；　〃There　are　so　many　things　to　think　of。〃　Her　voice　was　troubled。
　〃Are　there？〃　The　tone　of　voice　was　disbelieving。
　〃There's　a　great　deal　you　don't　know　about　me；〃　Denise　said。　〃For　one　thing；　I'm　terribly　possessive。　Did　you　know　that？〃
　He　answered；　〃It　doesn't　sound　very　terrible。〃
　〃If　we　were　married；〃　she　said；　〃I'd　have　to　have　all　of　you；　not　just　a　part。　I　couldn't　help　myself。　And　I　couldn't　share　you…not　even　with　a　hospital。〃
　He　laughed。　〃I　imagine　we　could　work　out　a　promise。　Other　people　do。〃
　She　turned　back　toward　him。　〃When　you　say　it　like　that　I　almost　believe　you。〃　Denise　paused。　〃Will　you　e　back　to　New　York　again…soon？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃How　soon？〃
　He　answered；　〃Whenever　you　call　me。〃
　As　if　by　instinct；　she　moved　toward　him　and　they　kissed　again；　this　time　with　growing　passion。　Then　there　was　a　sound　behind　them　and　a　shaft　of　light　from　a　door　opening　to　the　living　room。　Denise　pushed　herself　gently　away　and　a　moment　later　a　small　figure　in　pajamas　came　onto　the　terrace。　A　voice　said；　〃I　thought　I　heard　someone　talking。〃
　〃I　imagined　you　were　sleeping；〃　Denise　said。　〃This　is　Dr。　O'Donnell。〃　Then　to　O'Donnell；　〃This　is　my　daughter　Philippa。〃　She　added　affectionately；　〃One　half　of　my　impossible　twins。〃
　The　girl　looked　at　O'Donnell　with　frank　curiosity。　〃Hullo；〃　she　said；　〃I've　heard　about　you。〃
　O'Donnell　remembered　Denise　telling　him　that　both　her　children　were　seventeen。　The　girl　seemed　small　for　her　age；　her　body　only　just　beginning　to　fill　out。　But　she　moved　with　a　grace　and　posture　uncannily　similar　to　her　mother。
　〃Hullo；　Philippa；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　sorry　if　we　disturbed　you。〃
　〃I　couldn't　sleep；　so　I　was　reading。〃　The　girl　glanced　down　at　a　book　in　her　hand。　〃It's　Herrick。　Did　you　ever　read　it？〃
　〃I　don't　think　so；〃　O'Donnell　said。　〃As　a　matter　of　fact；　there　wasn't　much　time　for　poetry　in　medical　school　and　I've　never　really　got　around　to　it　since。〃
　Philippa　picked　up　the　book　and　opened　it。　〃There's　something　here　for　you；　Mother。〃　She　read　attractively　with　a　feeling　for　words　and　balance　and　with　a　touch　of　lightness。
　
　〃That　age　is　best；　which　is　the　first；
　When　youth　and　blood　are　warmer；
　But　being　spent；　the　worse；　and　worst
　Time；　still　succeed　the　former。
　Then　be　not　coy；　but　use　your　time；
　And　while　ye　may；　go　marry：
　For　having　lost　but　once　your　prime；
　You　may　for　ever　tarry。〃
　
　〃I　get　the　point；〃　Den