ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第52部分

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grow　old　sadly。　These　were　those　for　whom　more　powerful　and　glossier　automobiles　would　be　designed；　in　whose　service　aircraft　would　wing　faster　and　farther；　whose　every　whim　and　appetite　would　be　wooed　by　others　of　their　kind　with　wares　to　market。　These　were　some　who　would　face　the　unknown　future；　most　with　misgiving；　many　bravely；　a　few　craven。　Some　here；　perhaps；　might　breach　the　barriers　of　outer　space；　others　with　the　gift　of　tongues　might　move　their　fellow　men　to　anger　or　despair。　Most；　within　twenty　years；　would　fulfill　their　physical　maturity；　obeying；　but　never　understanding；　the　same　primeval　craving　to　copulate　which　had　sown　their　seed　and　brought　them；　mewling；　puking；　here。　But　for　now　these　were　the　victors…the　born　and　urgent。　Their　first　and　greatest　barrier　was　down；　the　other　battles　yet　to　e。
　Across　the　hallway　was　another　area　with　a　smaller　nursery　beyond。　In　it；　quiet　and　separate；　each　in　an　incubator；　were　the　premature　babies；　these…the　doubtful　starters；　their　existence　insecure；　their　first　encounter　not　yet　won。　Turning　away　from　the　main　nursery；　it　was　this　section　that　Dornberger　entered　now。
　When　he　had　viewed　his　newest　patient…a　tiny　fragment　of　insecure　humanity…he　pursed　his　lips　and　shook　his　head　doubtfully。　Then；　methodical　as　always；　he　wrote　careful　instructions　on　the　treatment　to　be　followed。
　Later；　as　Dornberger　left　by　one　door；　Nurse　Wilding　and　John　Alexander　came　in　by　another。
　Like　everyone　who　approached　the　premature　nursery；　they　had　put　on　sterile　gowns　and　face　masks；　even　though　plate　glass　separated　them　from　the　air…conditioned；　humidity…controlled　interior。　Now；　as　they　stopped；　Mrs。　Wilding　leaned　forward　and　tapped　lightly　on　the　glass。　A　younger　nurse　inside　looked　up　and　moved　toward　them；　her　eyes　above　the　mask　inquiring。
　〃Baby　Alexander！〃　Wilding　raised　her　voice　enough　to　carry　through　to　the　other　nurse；　then　pointed　to　John。　The　girl　inside　nodded　and　motioned　for　them　to　move。　They　followed　her　the　length　of　the　plate…glass　window　and　stopped。　Now　she　pointed　to　an　incubator…one　of　the　dozen　the　nursery　contained…and　turned　it　slightly　so　they　could　see　inside。
　〃My　God！　Is　that　all？〃　The　exclamation　was　torn　from　John　even　as　it　framed　itself　in　mind。
　Nurse　Wilding's　glance　was　sympathetic。　〃He's　not　very　big；　is　he？〃
　John　was　staring　as　if　in　unbelief。　〃I've　never　seen　anything　so　。　。　。　so　incredibly　small。〃
　He　stood　looking　down　into　the　Isolette　cabinet。　Could　this　be　human？…this　tiny；　shriveled；　monkeylike　figure；　little　larger　than　his　own　two　hands。
　The　baby　lay　perfectly　still；　its　eyes　closed；　only　a　slight　regular　movement　of　the　tiny　chest　testifying　to　its　breathing。　Even　in　the　incubator；　designed　for　the　smallest　infants；　the　little　helpless　body　appeared　forlorn　and　lost。　It　seemed　incredible　that　in　such　fragility　life　could　exist　at　all。
　The　younger　nurse　had　e　outside　to　join　them。　Wilding　asked；　〃What　was　the　birth　weight？〃
　〃Three　pounds　eight　ounces。〃　The　young　nurse　turned　to　John。　〃Do　you　understand　what's　happening；　Mr。　Alexander…how　your　baby　is　being　cared　for？〃
　He　shook　his　head。　He　found　it　hard　to　tear　his　eyes　away；　even　for　a　moment；　from　the　tiny　child。
　The　young　nurse　said　practically；　〃Some　people　like　to　know。　They　seem　to　think　it　helps。〃
　John　nodded。　〃Yes；　if　you'd　tell　me。　Please。〃
　The　nurse　pointed　to　the　incubator。　〃The　temperature　inside　is　always　ninety…eight　degrees。　There's　oxygen　added　to　the　air…about　40　per　cent。　The　oxygen　makes　it　easier　for　the　baby　to　breathe。　His　lungs　are　so　small；　you　see。　They　weren't　really　developed　when　he　was　born。〃
　〃Yes。　I　understand。〃　His　eyes　were　back　on　the　faint　pulsing　movement　in　the　chest。　While　it　continued　it　meant　there　was　life；　that　the　tiny　burdened　heart　was　beating；　the　thread　of　survival　still　unbroken。
　The　nurse　went　on。　〃Your　baby　isn't　strong　enough　to　suck；　so　we　have　to　use　intubation。　You　see　the　little　tube？〃　She　pointed　to　a　plastic　cord　with　a　hollow　center　which　ran　from　the　top　of　the　incubator　into　the　infant's　mouth。　〃It　goes　directly　into　the　stomach。　He'll　be　having　dextrose　and　water　through　the　tube　every　hour　and　a　half。〃
　John　hesitated。　Then　he　asked；　〃You've　seen　a　lot　of　these　cases？〃
　〃Yes。〃　The　nurse　nodded　gravely；　as　if　sensing　the　question　which　would　follow。　He　noticed　she　was　petite　and　pretty；　with　red　hair　tucked　under　her　cap。　She　was　surprisingly　young；　too；　perhaps　twenty；　certainly　no　more。　But　she　carried　an　air　of　professional　petence。
　〃Do　you　think　he'll　live？〃　He　glanced　down　again　through　the　paneled　glass。
　〃You　can　never　tell。〃　The　younger　nurse's　forehead　was　creased　in　a　frown。　He　could　sense　that　she　was　trying　to　be　honest；　not　to　destroy　his　hopes　and　yet　not　to　raise　them。　〃Some　do；　some　don't。　Sometimes　it　seems　as　if　some　babies　have　a　will　to　live。　They　fight　for　life。〃
　He　asked　her；　〃This　one…is　he　fighting？〃
　She　said　carefully；　〃It's　too　early　to　know。　But　those　extra　eight　weeks　would　have　made　a　lot　of　difference。〃　She　added　quietly；　〃This　will　be　a　hard　fight。〃
　Once　more　he　let　his　eyes　stray　back　to　the　tiny　figure。　For　the　first　time　the　thought　occurred　to　him：　This　is　my　son；　my　own；　a　part　of　my　life。　Suddenly　he　was　consumed　by　a　sense　of　overwhelming　love　for　this　fragile　morsel；　fighting　his　lonely　battle　inside　the　warm　little　box　below。　He　had　an　absurd　impulse　to　shout　through　the　glass：　You're　not　alone；　son；　I've　e　to　help。　He　wanted　to　run　to　the　incubator　and　say：　These　are　my　hands；　take　them　for　your　strength。　Here　are　my　lungs；　use　them　and　let　me　breathe　for　you。　Only　don't　give　up；　son；　don't　give　up！　There's　so　much　ahead；　so　much　we　can　do　together…if　only　you'll　live！　Listen　to　me；　and　hold　on！　This　is　your　father　and　I　love　you。
　He　felt　Nurse　Wilding's　hand　on　his　arm。　Her　voice　said　gently；　〃We'd　better　go　now。〃
　He　nodded；　unable　to　speak。　Then　with　a　last　glance　backward　they　moved　away。
　
　Lucy　Grainger　knocked　and　went　into　the　pathology　office。　Joe　Pearson　was　behind　his　desk；　David　Coleman　on　the　far　side　of　the　room；　studying　a　file。　He　turned　as　Lucy　entered。
　〃I　have　the　new　X…rays；〃　Lucy　said；　〃on　Vivian　Loburton。〃
　〃What　do　they　show？〃　Pearson　was　interested　at　once。　He　pushed　some　papers　aside　and　got　up。
　〃Very　little；　I'm　afraid。〃　Lucy　had　moved　to　the　X…ray　viewer　which　hung　on　the　office　wall；　and　the　two　men　followed　her。　Coleman　reached　out　and　snapped　a　switch；　after　a　second　or　two　the　fluorescent　lights　in　the　viewer　flickered　on。
　Two　at　a　time；　they　studied　the　parative　films。　Lucy　pointed　out；　as　Dr。　Bell　had　done　in　Radiology；　the　area　of　periosteal　reaction　created　by　the　biopsy。　Otherwise；　she　reported；　there　had　been　no　change。
　At　the　end　Pearson　thoughtfully　rubbed　his　chin　with　thumb　and　forefinger。　Glancing　at　Coleman；　he　said；　〃I　guess　your　idea　didn't　work。〃
　〃Apparently　not。〃　Coleman　kept　his　voice　nonmittal。　In　spite　of　everything　they　were　still　left　with　a　question…a　division　of　opinion。　He　wondered　what　the　older　man　would　do。
　〃It　was　worth　trying　anyway。〃　Pearson　had　a　way　of　making　the　most　ordinary　acknowledgment　sound　grudging；　but　Coleman　guessed　he　was　talking　to　gain　time　and　to　cover　up　his　indecision。
　Now　the　old　man　turned　to　Lucy。　Almost　sardonically；　he　said；　〃So　Radiology　bows　out。〃
　She　answered　levelly；　〃I　suppose　you　could　say　that。〃
　〃And　it　leaves　it　up　to　me…to　Pathology？〃
　〃Yes；　Joe；〃　she　said　quietly；　waiting。
　There　was　a　ten…second　silence　before　Pearson　spoke　again。　Then　he　said　clearly　and　confidently；　〃My　diagnosis　is　that　your　patient　has　a　malignant　tumor…osteogenic　sara。〃
　Lucy　met　his　eyes。　She　asked；　〃That's　quite　definite？〃
　〃Quite　definite。〃　In　the　pathologist's　voice　there　was　no　hint　of　doubt　or　hesitation。　He　went　on；　〃In　any　case；　I've　been　sure　from　the　beginning。　I　thought　this〃…he　indicated　the　X…ray　films…〃would　give　some　extra　confirmation。〃
　〃All　right。〃　Lucy　nodded　her　acceptance。　Her　mind　was　working　now　on　immediate　things　to　do。
　Pearson　asked　matter…of…factly；　〃When　shall　you　amputate？〃
　〃Tomorrow　morning；　I　expect。〃　Lucy　gathered　up　the　X…rays　and　went　to　the　door。　Her　glance　taking　in　Coleman；　she　said；　〃I　suppose　I'd　better　go　and　break　the　news。〃　She　made　a　small　grimace。　〃This　is　one　of　the　hard　ones。〃
　When　the　door　had　closed　behind　her；　Pearson　turned　to　Coleman。　He　said　with　surprising　courtesy；　〃Someone　had　to　decide。　I　didn't　ask　your　opinion　then　because　I　couldn't　take　the　chance　of　letting　it　be　known　that　there　was　doubt。　If　Lucy　Grainger　knew；　she　would　have　no　choice　but　to　tell　the　girl　and　her　parents。　And　once　they　heard；　they　would　want　to　delay。　People　always　do；　you　can't　blame　them。〃　He　paused；　then　added；　〃I　don't　have　to　tell　you　what　delay　can　do　with　osteogenic　sara。〃
　Coleman　nodded。　He　had　no　quarrel　with　Pearson's　having　made　the　decision。　As　the　old　man　had　said；　someone　had　to　do　it。　All　the　same；　he　wondered　if　the　amputation　to　be　performed　tomorrow　was　necessary　or　not。　Eventually；　of　course；　they　would　know　for　sure。　When　the　severed　limb　came　down　to　the　lab；　dissection　would　show　if　the　diagnosis　of　malignancy　was　right　or　wrong。　Unfortunately；　though；　an　err