sk.thegunslinger-第32部分

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And　so　the　man　in　black　began　to　speak。
The　universe　（he　said）　offers　a　paradox　too　great　for　the　finite　mind　to　grasp。　As　the　living　brain　cannot　conceive　of　a　nonliving　brain　　although　it　may　think　it　can　　the　finite　mind　cannot　grasp　the　infinite。
The　prosaic　fact　of　the　universe's　existence　single…handedly　defeats　the　pragmatist　and　the　cynic。　There　was　a　time；　yet　a　hundred　generations　before　the　world　moved　on；　when　mankind　had　achieved　enough　technical　and　scientific　prowess　to　chip　a　few　splinters　from　the　great　stone　pillar　of　reality。　Even　then；　the　false　light　of　science　（knowledge；　if　you　like）　shone　in　only　a　few　developed　countries。　Yet；　despite　a　tremendous　increase　in　available　facts；　there　were　remarkably　few　insights。　Gunslinger；　our　fathers　conquered　the…disease…which…rots；　which　we　call　cancer；　almost　conquered　aging；　went　to　the　moon　（〃I　don't　believe　that；〃　the　gunslinger　said　flatly；　to　which　the　man　in　black　merely　smiled　and　answered；　〃You　needn't。〃）
　and　made　or　discovered　a　hundred　other　marvelous　baubles。　But　this　wealth　of　information　produced　little　or　no　insight。　There　were　no　great　odes　written　to　the　wonders　of　artificial　insemination　（〃What？〃　〃Having　babies　from　frozen　mansperm。　〃
〃Bullshit。〃　〃As　you　wish。。；　although　not　even　the　ancients　could　produce　children　from　that　material。〃）
　or　to　the　car…which…moves。　Few　if　any　seemed　to　have　grasped　the　Principle　of　Reality；　new　knowledge　leads　always　to　yet　more　awesome　mysteries。　Greater　physiological　knowledge　of　the　brain　makes　the　existence　of　the　soul　less　possible　yet　more　probable　by　the　nature　of　the　search。　Do　you　see？　Of　course　you　don't。　You　are　surrounded　by　your　own　romantic　aura；　you　lie　cheek　and　jowl　daily　with　the　arcane。　Yet　now　you　approach　the　limits　not　of　belief；　but　of　prehension。　You　face　reverse　entropy　of　the　soul。
But　to　the　more　prosaic：
The　greatest　mystery　the　universe　offers　is　not　life　but　Size。　Size　enpasses　life；　and　the　Tower　enpasses　Size。　The　child；　who　is　most　at　home　with　wonder；　says：
Daddy；　what　is　above　the　sky？　And　the　father　says：　The　darkness　of　space。　The　child：　What　is　beyond　space？　The　father：　The　galaxy。　The　child：　Beyond　the　galaxy？　The　father：　Another　galaxy。　The　child：　Beyond　the　other　galaxies？　The　father：　No　one　knows。
You　see？　Size　defeats　us。　For　the　fish；　the　lake　in　which　he　lives　is　the　universe。　What　does　the　fish　think　when　he　is　jerked　up　by　the　mouth　through　the　silver　limits　of　existence　and　into　a　new　universe　where　the　air　drowns　him　and　the　light　is　blue　madness？　Where　hugh　bipeds　with　no　gills　stuff　it　into　a　suffocating　box　and　cover　it　with　wet　weeds　to　die？
Or　one　might　take　the　point　of　a　pencil　and　magnify　it。　One　reaches　the　point　where　a　stunning　realization　strikes　home：　The　pencil　point　is　not　solid；　it　is　posed　of　atoms　which　whirl　and　revolve　like　a　trillion　demon　planets。　What　seems　solid　to　us　is　actually　only　a　loose　net　held　together　by　gravitation。　Shrunk　to　the　correct　size；　the　distances　between　these　atoms　might　bee　leagues；　gulfs；　aeons。　The　atoms　themselves　are　posed　of　nuclei　and　revolving　protons　and　electrons。　One　may　step　down　further　to　subatomic　particles。　And　then　to　what？　Tachyons？　Nothing？　Of　course　not。　Everything　in　the　universe　denies　nothing；　to　suggest　conclusions　to　things　is　one　impossibility。
If　you　fell　outward　to　the　limit　of　the　universe；　would　you　find　a　board　fence　and　signs　reading　DEAD　END？　No。　You　might　find　something　hard　and　rounded；　as　the　chick　must　see　the　egg　from　the　inside。　And　if　you　should　peck　through　that　shell；　what　great　and　torrential　light　might　shine　through　your　hole　at　the　end　of　space？　Might　you　look　through　and　discover　our　entire　universe　is　but　part　of　one　atom　on　a　blade　of　grass？　Might　you　be　forced　to　think　that　by　burning　a　twig　you　incinerate　an　eternity　of　eternities？　That　existence　rises　not　to　one　infinite　but　to　an　infinity　of　them？
Perhaps　you　saw　what　place　our　universe　plays　in　the　scheme　of　things　　as　an　atom　in　a　blade　of　grass。　Could　it　be　that　everything　we　can　perceive；　from　the　infinitesimal　virus　to　the　distant　Horsehead　Nebula；　is　contained　in　one　blade　of　grass。　。。　a　blade　that　may　have　existed　for　only　a　day　or　two　in　an　alien　time…flow？　What　if　that　blade　should　be　cut　off　by　a　scythe？　When　it　began　to　die；　would　the　rot　seep　into　our　own　universe　and　our　own　lives；　turning　everything　yellow　and　brown　and　desicated？　Perhaps　it's　already　begun　to　happen。　We　say　the　world　has　moved　on；　maybe　we　really　mean　that　it　has　begun　to　dry　up。
Think　how　small　such　a　concept　of　things　makes　us；　gunslinger！　If　a　God　watches　over　it　all；　does　He　actually　mete　out　justice　for　a　race　of　gnats　among　an　infinitude　of　races　of　gnats？　Does　his　eye　see　the　sparrow　fall　when　the　sparrow　is　less　than　a　speck　of　hydrogen　floating　disconnected　in　the　depth　of　space？　And　if　He　does　see。。。　what　must　the　nature　of　such　a　God　be？　Where　does　He　live？　How　is　it　possible　to　live　beyond　infinity？
Imagine　the　sand　of　the　Mohaine　Desert；　which　you　crossed　to　find　me；　and　imagine　a　trillion　universes　　not　worlds　but　universes　　encapsulated　in　each　grain　of　that　desert；　and　within　each　universe　an　infinity　of　others。　We　tower　over　these　universes　from　our　pitiful　grass　vantage　point；　with　one　swing　of　your　boot　you　may　knock　a　billion　billion　worlds　flying　off　into　darkness；　in　a　chain　never　to　be　pleted。
Size；　gunslinger。。。　Size。。。。
Yet　suppose　further。　Suppose　that　all　worlds；　all　universes；　met　in　a　single　nexus；　a　single　pylon；　a　Tower。　A　stairway；　perhaps；　to　the　Godhead　itself。　Would　you　dare；　gunslinger？　Could　it　be　that　somewhere　above　all　of　endless　reality；　there　exists　a　Room。。。？
You　dare　not。
You　dare　not。
〃Someone　has　dared；〃　the　gunslinger　said。
〃Who　would　that　be？〃
〃God；〃　the　gunslinger　said　softly。　His　eyes　gleamed。　〃God　has　dared。　。　。　or　is　the　room　empty；　seer？〃
〃I　don't　know。〃　Fear　passed　over　the　man　in　black's　bland　face；　as　soft　and　dark　as　a　buzzard's　wing。　〃And；　furthermore；　I　don't　ask。　It　might　be　unwise。〃
〃Afraid　of　being　struck　dead？〃　The　gunslinger　asked　sardonically。
〃Perhaps　afraid　of　an　accounting；〃　the　man　in　black　replied；　and　there　was　silence　for　a　while。　The　night　was　very　long。　The　Milky　Way　sprawled　above　them　in　great　splendor；　yet　terrifying　in　its　emptiness。　The　gunslinger　wondered　what　he　would　feel　if　that　inky　sky　should　split　open　and　let　in　a　torrent　of　light。
〃The　fire；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　cold。〃
The　gunslinger　drowsed　and　awoke　to　see　the　man　in　black　regarding　him　avidly；　unhealthily。
〃What　are　you　staring　at？〃
〃You；　of　course。　〃
〃Well；　don't〃　He　poked　up　the　fire；　ruining　the　precision　of　the　idiogram。　〃I　don't　like　it。〃　He　looked　to　the　east　to　see　if　there　was　the　beginning　of　light；　but　this　night　went　on　and　on。
〃You　seek　the　light　so　soon？〃
〃I　was　made　for　light〃
〃Ah；　so　you　were！　And　so　impolite　of　me　to　forget　the　fact！　Yet　we　have　much　to　discuss　yet；　you　and　I。　For　so　has　it　been　told　to　me　by　my　master。〃
〃Who？〃
The　man　in　black　smiled。　〃Shall　we　tell　the　truth　then；　you　and　I？　No　more　lies？　No　more　glammer？〃
〃Glammer？　What　does　that　mean？〃
But　the　man　in　black　persisted：　〃Shall　there　be　truth　between　us；　as　two　men？　Not　as　friends；　but　as　enemies　and　equals？　There　is　an　offer　you　will　get　rarely；　Roland。　Only　enemies　speak　the　truth。　Friends　and　lovers　lie　endlessly；　caught　in　the　web　of　duty。〃
〃Then　we'll　speak　the　truth。〃　He　had　never　spoken　less　on　this　night　〃Start　by　telling　me　what　glammer　is。〃
〃Glammer　is　enchantment；　gunslinger。　My　master's　enchantment　has　prolonged　this　night　and　will　prolong　it　still。。；　until　our　business　is　done。　〃
〃How　long　will　that　be？〃
〃Long。　T　can　tell　you　no　better。　I　do　not　know　myself。〃　The　man　in　black　stood　over　the　fire；　and　the　glowing　embers　made　patterns　on　his　face。　〃Ask。　I　will　tell　you　what　I　know。　You　have　caught　me。　It　is　fair；　I　did　not　think　you　would。　Yet　your　quest　has　only　begun。　Ask。　It　will　lead　us　to　business　soon　enough。〃
〃Who　is　your　master？〃
〃I　have　never　seen　him；　but　you　must。　In　order　to　reach　the　Tower　you　must　reach　this　one　first；　the　Ageless　Stranger。　〃　The　man　in　black　smiled　spitelessly。　〃You　must　slay　him；　gunslinger。　Yet　I　think　it　is　not　what　you　wished　to　ask。〃
〃If　you've　never　seen　him；　how　do　you　know　him？〃
〃He　came　to　me　once　in　a　dream。　As　a　stripling　he　came　to　me；　when　I　lived　in　a　far　land。　A　thousand　years　ago；　or　five　or　ten。　He　came　to　me　in　days　before　the　old　ones　had　yet　to　cross　the　sea。　In　a　land　called　England。　A　sheaf　of　centuries　ago　he　imbued　me　with　my　duty；　although　there　were　errands　in　between　my　youth　and　my　apotheosis。　You　are　that；　gunslinger。〃　He　tittered。　〃You　see；　someone　has　taken　you　seriously。〃
〃This　Stranger　has　no　name？〃
〃O；　he　is　named。〃
〃And　what　is　his　name？〃
〃Maerlyn；〃　the　man　in　black　said　softly；　and　somewhere　in　the　easterly　darkness　where　the　mountains　lay　a　rockslide　punctuated　his　words　and　a　puma　screamed　like　a　woman。　The　gunslinger　shivered　and　the　man　in　black　flinched。　〃Yet　I　do　not　think　that　is　what　you　wished　to　ask；　either。　It　is　not　your　nature　to　think　so　far　ahead。〃
The　gunslinger　knew　the　question；　it　had　gnawed　him　all　this　night；　and　he　thought；　for　years　before。　It　trembled　on　his　lips　but　he　didn't　ask　it。。