sk.dreamcatcher-第36部分

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　　　　Jonesy's　most　likely　a　mile　down　the　road　by　now；　the　vile　voice　estimated。　A　mile　down　the　road　and　still　picking　up　speed。
　　　　'No；　he　ain't；'　Beaver　said。　'Not　Jonesy。'
　　　　He　shifted　a　little　bit　on　the　closed　seat；　waiting　for　the　thing　to　jump；　but　it　didn't。　It　might　be　sixty　yards　away　by　now　and　swimming　with　the　turds　in　the　septic　tank。　Jonesy　had　said　it　was　too　big　to　go　down；　but　since　neither　of　them　had　actually　seen　it；　there　was　no　way　to　tell　for　sure；　was　there？　But　in　either　case；　Monsieur　Beaver　Clarendon　was　going　to　sit　right　here。　Because　he'd　said　he　would。　Because　time　always　seemed　slower　when　you　were　worried　or　scared。　And　because　he　trusted　Jonesy。　Jonesy　and　Henry　had　never　hurt　him　or　made　fun；　not　of　him　and　not　of　Pete。　And　none　of　them　had　ever　hurt　Duddits　or　made　fun　of　him；　either。
　　　　Beav　snorted　laughter。　Duddits　with　his　Scooby…Doo　lunchbox。　Duddits　on　his　belly；　blowing　the　fluff　off　dandelions。　Duddits　running　around　in　his　back　yard；　happy　as　a　bird　in　a　tree；　yeah；　and　people　who　called　kids　like　him　special　didn't　know　the　half　of　it。　He　had　been　special；　all　right；　their　present　from　a　fucked…up　world　that　usually　didn't　give　you　jack…shit。　Duddits　had　been　their　own　special　thing；　and　they　had　loved　him。


5

They　sit　in　the　sunny　kitchen　nook　…　the　clouds　have　gone　away　as　if　by　magic　…　drinking　iced　tea　and　watching　Duddits；　who　drank　his　ZaRex　（awful…looking　orange　stuff）　in　three　or　four　huge　splattering　gulps　and　then　ran　out　back　to　play。
　　　　Henry　does　most　of　the　talking；　telling　Mrs　Cavell　that　the　boys　were　just　'kinda　pushing　him　around。'　He　says　that　they　got　a　little　bit　rough　and　ripped　his　shirt；　which　scared　Duddits　and　made　him　cry。　There　is　no　mention　of　how　Richie　Grenadeau　and　his　friends　took　off　his　pants；　no　mention　of　the　nasty　after…school　snack　they　wanted　Duddits　to　eat；　and　when　Mrs　Cavell　asks　them　if　they　know　who　these　big　boys　were；　Henry　hesitates　briefly　and　then　says　no；　just　some　big　boys　from　the　high　school；　he　didn't　know　any　of　them；　hot　by　name。　She　looks　at　Beaver；　Jonesy；　and　Pete；　they　all　shake　their　heads。　It　may　be　wrong　…　dangerous　to　Duddits　in　the　long　run；　as　well　…　but　they　can't　step　that　far　outside　the　rules　which　govern　their　lives。　Already　Beaver　cannot　understand　where　they　found　the　sack　to　intervene　in　the　first　place；　and　later　the　others　will　say　the　same。　They　marvel　at　their　courage；　they　also　marvel　that　they　aren't　in　the　fuckin　hospital。
　　　　She　looks　at　them　sadly　for　a　moment；　and　Beaver　realizes　she　knows　a　lot　of　what　they　aren't　telling；　probably　enough　to　keep　her　awake　that　night。　Then　she　smiles。　Right　at　Beaver　she　smiles；　and　it　makes　him　tingle　all　the　way　down　to　his　toes。　'What　a　lot　of　zippers　you　have　on　your　jacket！'　she　says。
　　　　Beaver　smiles。　'Yes；　ma'am。　It's　my　Fonzie　jacket。　It　was　my　brother's　first。　These　guys　make　fun　of　it；　but　I　like　it　just　the　same。'
　　　　'Happy　Days；'　she　says。　'We　like　it；　too。　Duddits　likes　it。　Perhaps　you'd　like　to　e　over　some　night　and　watch　it　with　us。　With　him。'　Her　smile　grows　wistful；　as　if　she　knows　nothing　like　that　will　ever　happen。
　　　　'Yeah；　that'd　be　okay；'　Beav　says。
　　　　'Actually　it　would；'　Pete　agrees。
　　　　They　sit　for　a　little　without　talking；　just　watching　him　play　in　the　back　yard。　There's　a　swing…set　with　two　swings。　Duddits　runs　behind　them；　pushing　them；　making　the　swings　go　by　themselves。　Sometimes　he　stops；　crosses　his　arms　over　his　chest；　turns　the　clockless　dial　of　his　face　up　to　the　sky；　and　laughs。
　　　　'Seems　all　right　now；'　Jonesy　says；　and　drinks　the　last　of　his　tea。　'Guess　he's　forgotten　all　about　it。'
　　　　Mrs　Cavell　has　started　to　get　up。　Now　she　sits　back　down；　giving　him　an　almost　startled　look。　'Oh　no；　not　at　all；'　she　says。　'He　remembers。　Not　like　you　and　I；　perhaps；　but　he　remembers　things。　He'll　probably　have　nightmares　tonight；　and　when　we　go　into　his　room　…　his　father　and　me　…　he　won't　be　able　to　explain。　That's　the　worst　for　him；　he　can't　tell　what　it　is　he　sees　and　thinks　and　feels。　He　doesn't　have　the　vocabulary。'
　　　　She　sighs。
　　　　'In　any　case；　those　boys　won't　forget　about　him。　What　if　they're　laying　for　him　now？　What　if　they're　laying　for　you？'
　　　　'We　can　take　care　of　ourselves；'　Jonesy　says；　but　although　his　voice　is　stout　enough；　his　eyes　are　uneasy；
　　　　'Maybe；'　she　says。　'But　what　about　Duddits？　I　can　walk　him　to　school　…　I　used　to；　and　I　suppose　I'll　have　to　again；　for　awhile　at　least；　anyway　…　but　he　loves　to　walk　home　on　his　own　so　much。'
　　　　'It　makes　him　feel　like　a　big　boy；'　Pete　says。
　　　　She　reaches　across　the　table　and　touches　Pete's　hand；　making　him　blush。　'That's　right；　it　makes　him　feel　like　a　big　boy。'
　　　　'You　know；'　Henry　says；　'we　could　walk　him。　We　all　go　together　to　the　junior　high；　and　it　would　be　easy　enough　to　e　down　here　from　Kansas　Street。'…
　　　　Roberta　Cavell　only　sits　there　without　saying　anything；　a　little　birdie…woman　in　a　print　dress；　looking　at　Henry　attentively；　like　someone　waiting　for　the　punchline　of　a　joke。
　　　　'Would　that　be　okay；　Missus　Cavell？'　Beaver　asks　her。　'Because　we　could　do　it；　easy。　Or　maybe　you　don't　want　us　to。'
　　　　Something　plicated　happens　to　Mrs　CaveE's　face　…　there　are　all　those　little　twitches；　mostly　under　the　skin。　One　eye　almost　winks；　and　then　the　other　one　does　wink。　She　takes　a　handkerchief　from　her　pocket　and　blows　her　nose。　Beaver　thinks；　She's　trying　not　to　laugh　at　us。　When　he　tells　Henry　that　as　they　are　walking　home；　Jonesy　and　Pete　already　dropped　off；　Henry　will　look　at　him　with　utter　astonishment。　Cry　is　what　she　was　tryin　not　to　do；　he　will　say　。　。　。　and　then；　affectionately；　after　a　pause：　Dope。
　　　　'You　would　do　that？'　she　asks；　and　when　Henry　nods　for　all　of　them；　she　changes　the　question　slightly。　'Why　would　you　do　that？'　Henry　looks　around　as　if　to　say　Someone　else　take　this　one；　willya？
　　　　Pete　says；　'We　like　him；　ma'am。'
　　　　Jonesy　is　nodding。　'I　like　the　way　he　carries　his　lunchbox　over　his　head…'
　　　　'Yeah；　that's　bitchin；'　Pete　says。　Henry　kicks　him　under　the　table。　Pete　replays　what　he　just　said　…　you　can　see　him　doing　it　and　begins　blushing　furiously。
　　　　Mrs　Cavell　appears　not　to　notice。　She's　looking　at　Henry　with　fixed　intensity。　'He　has　to　go　by　quarter　of　eight；'　she　says。
　　　　'We're　always　near　here　by　then；'　Henry　replies。　'Aren't　we；　you　guys？'
　　　　And　although　seven　forty…five　is　in　fact　a　little　early　for　them；　they　all　nod　and　say　yeah　right　sure　yeah。　　　
　　　　'You　would　do　that？'　she　asks　again；　and　this　time　Beaver　has　no　trouble　reading　her　tone；　she　is　incredyouwhatsis；　the　word　that　means　you　can't　fuckin　believe　it。
　　　　'Sure；'　Henry　says。　'Unless　you　think　Duddits　wouldn't　。　。　。　you　know　。　。　。'
　　　　'Wouldn't　want　us　to；'　Jonesy　finishes。
　　　　'Are　you　crazy？'　she　asks。　Beaver　thinks　she　is　speaking　to　herself；　trying　to　convince　herself　that　these　boys　are　really　in　her　kitchen；　that　all　of　this　is　in　fact　happening。　'Walking　to　school　with　the　big　boys？　Boys　who　go　to　what　Duddits　calls　〃real　school〃？　He'd　think　he　was　in　heaven。'
　　　　'Okay；'　Henry　says。　'We'll　e　by　quarter　of　eight；　walk　him　to　school。　And　we'll　walk　home　with　him；　too。'
　　　　'He　gets　out　at…'
　　　　'Aw；　we　know　what　time　The　Retard　Academy　gets　out；'　Beaver　says　cheerfully；　and　realizes　a　second　before　he　sees　the　others'　stricken　faces　that　he's　said　something　a　lot　worse　than　bitchin。　He　claps　his　hands　over　his　mouth。　Above　them；　his　eyes　are　huge。　Jonesy　kicks　his　shin　so　hard　under　the　table　that　Beav　almost　tumbles　over　backward。
　　　　'Don't　mind　him；　ma'am；'　Henry　says。　He　is　talking　rapidly；　which　he　only　does　when　he's　embarrassed。　'He　just…'
　　　　'I　don't　mind；'　she　says。　'I　know　what　people　call　it。　Sometimes　Alfie　and　I　call　it　that　ourselves。'　This　topic；　incredibly；　hardly　seems　to　interest　her。　'Why？'　she　says　again。
　　　　And　although　it's　Henry　she's　looking　at；　it's　Beaver　who　answers；　in　spite　of　his　blazing　cheeks。　'Because　he's　cool；'　he　says。　The　others　nod。
　　　　They　will　walk　Duddits　to　school　and　back　for　the　next　five　years　or　so；　unless　he　is　sick　or　they　are　at　Hole　in　the　Wall；　by　the　end　of　it　Duddits　is　no　longer　going　to　Mary　M。　Snowe；　aka　The　Retard　Academy；　but　to　Derry　Vocational；　where　he　learns　to　bake　cookies　（baitin　tooties；　in　Duddits…ese）；　replace　car　batteries；　make　change；　and　fie　his　own　tie　（the　knot　is　always　perfect；　although　it　sometimes　appears　about　halfway　down　his　shirt）。　By　then　the　Josie　Rinkenhauer　thing　has　e　and　gone；　a　little　nine　days'　wonder　forgotten　by　everyone　except　Josie's　parents；　who　will　never　forget。　In　those　years　when　they　walk　with　him　to　and　from　his　school；　Duddits　will　sprout　up　until　he's　the　tallest　of　all　of　them；　a　gangly　teenager　with　a　strangely　beautiful　child's　face。　By　then　they　will　have　taught　him　how　to　play　Parcheesi　and　a　simplified　version　of　Monopoly；　by　then　they　will　have　invented　the　Duddits　Game　and　played　it　incessantly；　sometimes　laughing　so　hard　that　Alfie　Cavell　（he　was　the　tall　one　of　the　pair；　but　he　also　had　a　birdie　look　about　him）　would　e　to　the　head　of　the　stairs　in　the　kitchen；　the　ones　that　led　to　the　rec　room；　and　yell　down　at　them；　wanting　to　know　what　was　going　on；　what　was　so　funny；　and　maybe　they　would　try　to