cb.imajica1-第52部分
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Somebody called to her from a doorway； and she turned expecting to see Estabrook； but the caller was imagined； and the name too。 Nobody had ever called her Peachplum。
The moment unsettled her slightly； and she went after Estabrook； as much to reacquaint herself with solid reality as for his pany。 He was in what had surely been a ballroom； one wall of which was a line of ceiling…high windows； offering a view across terraces and formal gardens to a ruined gazebo。 She went to his side and put her arm through his。 Their breaths became a mon cloud； gilded by the sun through the shattered glass。
〃It must have been so beautiful；〃 she said。
〃I'm sure it was。〃 He sniffed hard。 〃But it's gone forever。〃
〃It could be restored。〃
〃For a fortune。〃
〃You've got a fortune。〃
〃Not that big。〃
〃What about Oscar？〃
〃No。 This is mine。 He can e and go； but it's mine。 That was part of the deal。〃
〃What deal？〃 she said。 He didn't reply。 She pressed him； with words and proximity。 〃Tell me；〃 she said。 〃Share it with me。〃
He took a deep breath。 〃I'm older than Oscar； and there's a family tradition…it goes back to the time when this house was intact…which says the oldest son； or daughter if there are no sons； bees a member of a society called the Tabula Rasa。〃
〃I've never heard of it。〃
〃That's the way they'd like it to stay； I'm sure。 I shouldn't be telling you any of this； but what the hell？ I don't care any more。 It's all ancient history。 So 。 。 。 I was supposed to join the Tabula Rasa； but I was passed over by Papa in favor of Oscar。〃
〃Why？〃
Charlie made a little smile。 〃Believe it or not； they thought I was unstable。 Me？ Can you imagine？ They were afraid I'd be indiscreet。〃 The smile became a laugh。 〃Well； fuck them all。 I'll be indiscreet。〃
〃What does the Society do？〃
〃It was founded to prevent 。 。 。 let me remember the words exactly 。 。 。 to prevent the tainting of England's soil。 Joshua loved England。〃
〃Joshua？〃
〃The Godolphin who built this house。〃
〃What did he think this taint was？〃
〃Who knows？ Catholics？ The French？ He was crazy； and so were most of his friends。 Secret societies were in vogue back then…〃
〃And it's still in operation？〃
〃I suppose so。 I don't talk to Oscar very often； and when I do it's not about the Tabula Rasa。 He's a strange man。 In fact； he's a lot crazier than me。 He just hides it better。〃
〃You used to hide it very well； Charlie；〃 she reminded him。
〃More fool me。 I should have let it out。 I might have kept you；〃 He put his hand up to her face。 〃1 was stupid； Judith。 I can't believe my luck that you've forgiven me；〃
She felt a pang of guilt； hearing him so moved by her manipulations。 But they'd at least borne fruit。 She had two new pieces for the puzzle： the Tabula Rasa and its raison d'etre。
〃Do you believe in magic？〃 she asked him。
〃Do you want the old Charlie or the new one？〃
〃The new。 The crazy。〃
〃Then yes； I think I do。 When Oscar used to bring his little presents round； he'd say to me； 'Have a piece of the miracle。' I used to throw most of them out； except for the bits and pieces you found。 I didn't want to know where he got them。〃
〃You never asked him？〃 she said。
〃I did； finally。 One night when you were away and I was drunk； he came round with that book you found in the safe； and I asked him outright where he got this smut from。 I wasn't ready to believe what he told me。 You know what made me ready？〃
〃No。 What？〃
〃The body on the heath。 I told you about it； didn't I？ I watched them digging around in the muck and the rain for two days and I kept thinking； What a fucking life this is！ No way out except feet first。 I was ready to slit my wrists； and I probably would have done it except that you appeared； and I remembered the way I felt about you when I first saw you。 I remembered feeling as though something miraculous was happening； as though I was reclaiming something I'd lost。 And I thought； If I believe in one miracle I may as well believe in them all。 Even Oscar's。 Even his talk about the Imajica； and the Dominions in the Imajica； and the people there； and the cities。 I just thought； Why not。 。 。 embrace it all before I lose the chance？ Before I'm a body lying out in the rain。〃
〃You won't die in the rain。〃
〃I don't care where I die； Jude； I care where 1 live； and I want to live in some kind of hope。 I want to live with you。〃
〃Charlie；〃 she chided softly； 〃we shouldn't talk about that now。〃
〃Why not？ What better time？ I know you brought me here because you've got questions of your own you want answering； and I don't blame you。 If I'd seen that damn assassin e after me； I'd be asking questions too。 But think about it； Judy； that's all I'm asking。 Think about whether the new Charlie's worth a little bit of your time。 Will you do that？〃
〃I'll do that。〃
〃Thank you；〃 he said； and taking the hand she'd tucked through his arm； he kissed her fingers。
〃You've heard most of Oscar's secrets now；〃 he said。 〃You may as well know them all。 See the little wood way over towards the wall？ That's his little railway station； where he takes the train to wherever he goes。〃
〃I'd like to see it。〃
〃Shall we stroll over there； ma'am？〃 he said。 〃Where did the dog go？〃 He whistled； and Skin came pounding in； raising golden dust。 〃Perfect； Let's take the air。〃
The afternoon was so bright it was easy to imagine what bliss this place would be； even in its present decay； e spring or high summer； with dandelion seeds and birdsong in the air and the evenings long and balmy。 Though she was eager to see the place Estabrook had described as Oscar's railway station； she didn't force the pace。 They strolled； just as Charlie had suggested； taking time to cast an appreciative glance back towards the house。 It looked even grander from this aspect； with the terraces rising to the row of ballroom windows。 Though the wood ahead was not large； the undergrowth and the sheer density of trees kept their destination from sight until they were under the canopy and treading the damp rot of last September's fall。 Only then did she realize what building this was。 She'd seen it countless times before； drawn in elevation and hanging in front of the safe。
〃The Retreat；〃 she said。
〃You recognize it？〃
〃Of course。〃
Birds sang in the branches overhead； misled by the warmth and tuning up for courtship。 When she looked up it seemed to her the branches formed a fretted vault above the Retreat； as if echoing its dome。 Between the two； vault and song； the place felt almost sacred。
〃Oscar calls it the Black Chapel；〃 Charlie said。 〃Don't ask me why。〃
It had no windows and； from this side； no door。 They had to walk around it a few yards before the entrance came in sight。 Skin was panting at the step； but when Charlie opened the door the dog declined to enter。
〃Coward；〃 Charlie said； preceding Jude over the threshold。 〃It's quite safe。〃
The sense of the numinous she'd felt outside was stronger still inside； but despite all that she'd experienced since Pie 'oh' pah had e for her life； she was still ill prepared for mystery。 Her modernity burdened her。 She 〃wished there was some forgotten self she could dredge from her crippled history； better equipped for this。 Charlie had his bloodline even if he'd denied his name。 The thrushes in the trees outside resembled absolutely the thrushes who'd sung here since these boughs had been strong enough to bear them。 But she w。as adrift； resembling nobody； not even the woman she'd been six weeks ago。
〃Don't be nervous；〃 Charlie said； beckoning her in。
He spoke too loudly for the place； his voice carried around the vast bare circle and came back to meet him magnified。 He seemed not to notice。 Perhaps it was simply familiarity that bred this indifference； but she thought not。 For all his talk of embracing the miraculous； Charlie was still a pragmatist； fixed in the particular。 Whatever forces moved here； and she felt them strongly； he was dead to their presence。
Approaching the Retreat she'd thought the place win…dowless； but she'd been wrong。 At the intersection of wall and dome ran a ring of windows； like a halo fitted to the chapel's skull。 Small though they were； they let in sufficient light to strike the floor and rise up into the middle of the space； where the luminescence converged above the mosaic。 If this was indeed a place of departure； that rarefied spot was the platform。
〃It's nothing special； is it？〃 Charlie observed。
She was about to disagree； searching for a way to express what she was feeling； when Skin began barking outside。 This wasn't the excited yapping with which he'd announced each new pissing place along the way； but a sound of alarm。 She started towards the door； but the hold the chapel had on her slowed her response； and Charlie was out before she'd reached the step； calling to the dog to be quiet。 He stopped barking suddenly。
〃Charlie？〃 she said。
There was no reply。 With the dog quieted she heard a greater quiet。 The birds had stopped singing。
Again she said； 〃Charlie？〃 and as she did so somebody stepped into the doorway。 It was not Charlie； this man； bearded and heavy； was a stranger。 But her system responded to the sight of him with a shock of recognition； as t
