tc.patriotgames-第98部分

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　　　　Sally　was　finally　back　to　normal。　As　the　doctors　had　promised　her　parents；　her　legs　were　fully　healed；　and　she　was　running　around　now　as　she　had　before。　This　day　would　mark　her　return　to　Giant　Steps。　Her　way　of　knocking　glasses　off　tables　as　she　ran　past　them　was　the　announcement　that　things　were　right　again；　and　her　parents　were　too　pleased　by　this　to　bring　themselves　to　scold　the　girl　for　her　unladylike　behavior。　For　her　part；　Sally　endured　an　abnormally　large　number　of　spontaneous　hugs　which　she　didn't　really　understand。　She'd　been　sick　and　she　was　now　better。　She'd　never　really　known　that　an　attack　had　happened。　Jack　was　slow　to　realize。　The　handful　of　times　she　referred　to　it；　it　had　always　been　〃the　time　the　car　broke。〃　She　still　had　to　see　the　doctors　every　few　weeks　for　tests。　She　both　hated　and　dreaded　these；　but　children　adapt　to　a　changing　reality　far　more　readily　than　their　parents。
　　　　One　of　these　changes　was　her　mother。　The　baby　was　really　growing　now。　Cathy's　petite　frame　seemed　poorly　suited　to　such　abuse。　After　every　morning　shower；　she　looked　at　herself；　naked；　in　a　full…length　mirror　that　hung　on　the　back　of　the　closet　door　and　came　away　with　an　expression　that　was　both　proud　and　mournful　as　her　hands　traced　over　the　daily　alterations。
　　　　〃It's　going　to　get　worse；〃　her　husband　told　her　as　he　emerged　from　the　shower　next。
　　　　〃Thanks；　Jack；　I　really　need　to　hear　that。〃　
　　　　〃Can　you　see　your　feet？〃　he　asked　with　a　grin。
　　　　〃No；　but　I　can　feel　them。〃　They　were　swelling；　too；　along　with　her　ankles。
　　　　〃You　look　great　to　me；　babe。〃　Jack　stood　behind　her；　reaching　his　arms　around　to　hold　her　bulging　abdomen。　He　rested　his　cheek　on　the　top　of　her　head。　〃Love　ya。〃
　　　　〃That's　easy　for　you　to　say！〃　She　was　still　looking　in　the　mirror。　Jack　saw　her　face　in　the　glass；　a　tiny　smile　on　her　lips。　An　invitation？　He　moved　his　hands　upward　to　find　out。　〃Ouch！　I'm　sore。〃
　　　　〃Sorry。〃　He　softened　his　grip　to　provide　nothing　more　than　support。　〃Hmph。　Has　something　changed　here？〃　
　　　　〃It　took　you　this　long　to　notice？〃　The　smile　broadened　a　tad。　〃It's　a　shame　that　I　have　to　go　through　this　for　that　to　happen。〃　
　　　　〃Have　you　ever　heard　me　plain？　Everything　about　you　has　always　been　A…plus。　I　guess　pregnancy　drops　you　to　a　B…minus。　But　only　in　one　subject；〃　he　added。
　　　　〃You've　been　teaching　too　long；　Professor。〃　Her　teeth　were　showing　now。　Cathy　leaned　back；　rubbing　her　skin　against　her　husband's　hairy　chest。　For　some　reason　she　loved　to　do　that。　
　　　　〃You're　beautiful；〃　he　said。　〃You　glow。〃
　　　　〃Well；　I　have　to　glow　my　way　to　work。〃　Jack　didn't　move　his　hands。　〃I　have　to　get　dressed。　Jack。〃
　　　　〃　'How　do　I　love　thee；　let　me　count　the　ways　。　。　。'　〃　he　murmured　into　her　damp　hair。　〃One　。　。　。　two　。　。　。　three　。　。　。　〃　
　　　　〃Not　now；　you　lecher！〃　
　　　　〃Why？〃　His　hands　moved　very　gently。
　　　　〃Because　I　have　to　operate　in　three　hours；　and　you　have　to　go　to　spook　city。〃　She　didn't　move；　though。　There　weren't　all　that　many　moments　that　they　could　be　alone。
　　　　〃I'm　not　going　there　today。　I　got　stuck　with　a　seminar　at　the　Academy。　I'm　afraid　the　department　is　a　little　miffed　with　me。〃　He　kept　looking　in　the　minor。　Her　eyes　were　closed　now。　Screw　the　department　。　。　。　〃God；　I　love　you！〃　
　　　　〃Tonight；　Jack。〃　
　　　　〃Promise？〃
　　　　〃You've　sold　me　on　the　idea；　okay？　Now　I　〃　She　reached　up　to　grab　his　hands；　pulled　them　downward；　and　pressed　them　against　the　taut　skin　of　her　belly。
　　　　He　　the　baby　was　definitely　a　he；　insofar　as　that　was　what　they　called　him　　was　wide　awake；　rolling　and　kicking；　pushing　at　the　dark　envelope　that　defined　his　world。
　　　　〃Wow；〃　his　father　observed。　Cathy's　hands　were　over　his；　moving　them　about　every　few　seconds　to　follow　the　movements　of　the　baby。　〃What　does　that　feel　like？〃
　　　　Her　head　leaned　back　a　fraction。　〃It　feels　good　　except　when　I'm　trying　to　sleep　or　when　he　kicks　my　bladder　during　a　procedure。〃　
　　　　〃Was　Sally　this　　this　strong？〃
　　　　〃I　don't　think　so。〃　She　didn't　say　that　it　wasn't　the　sort　of　thing　you　remember　in　terms　of　strength。　It　was　just　the　singular　feeling　that　your　baby　is　alive　and　healthy；　something　that　no　man　would　ever　understand。　Not　even　Jack。　Cathy　Ryan　was　a　proud　woman。　She　knew　that　she　was　one　of　the　best　eye　surgeons　around。　She　knew　that　she　was　attractive；　and　worked　hard　to　keep　herself　that　way；　even　now；　misshapen　by　her　pregnancy；　she　knew　that　she　was　carrying　it　well。　She　could　tell　that　from　her　husband's　biological　reaction；　in　the　small　of　her　back。　But　more　than　that；　she　knew　that　she　was　a　woman；　doing　something　that　Jack　could　neither　duplicate　nor　fully　prehend。　Welt；　she　told　herself；　Jack　does　things　I　don't　much　understand　either。　〃I　have　to　get　dressed。〃
　　　　〃Okay。〃　Jack　kissed　the　base　of　her　neck。　He　took　his　time。　It　would　have　to　last　until　this　evening。　〃I'm　up　to　eleven；〃　he　said　as　he　stepped　back。
　　　　She　turned。　〃Eleven　what？〃　
　　　　〃Counting　the　ways；〃　Jack　laughed。
　　　　〃You　turkey！〃　She　swung　her　bra　at　him。　〃Only　eleven？〃　
　　　　〃It's　early。　My　brain　isn't　fully　functional　yet。〃　
　　　　〃I　can　tell　it　doesn't　have　enough　of　a　blood　supply。〃　The　funny　thing；　she　thought；　was　that　Jack　didn't　think　he　was　very　good…looking。　She　liked　the　strong　jaw；　except　when　he　forgot　to　shave　it；　and　his　kind；　loving　eyes。　She　looked　at　the　scars　on　his　shoulder；　and　remembered　her　horror　as　she'd　watched　her　husband　run　into　harm's　way；　then　her　pride　in　him　for　what　he　had　acplished。　Cathy　knew　that　Sally　had　almost　died　as　a　direct　result；　but　there　was　no　way　Jack　could　have　foreseen　it。　It　was　her　fault；　too；　she　knew；　and　Cathy　promised　herself　that　Sally　would　never　play　with　her　seat　belt　again。　Each　of　them　had　paid　a　price　for　the　turns　their　lives　had　taken。　Sally　was　almost　fully　recovered　from　hers；　as　was　she。　Cathy　knew　it　wasn't　true　of　her　husband；　who'd　been　awake　through　it　all　while　she　slept。
　　　　When　that　happened；　at　least　I　had　the　blessing　of　unconsciousness。　Jack　had　to　live　through　it。　He's　still　paying　that　price　for　it；　she　thought。　Working　two　jobs　now；　his　face　always　locked　into　a　frown　of　concentration；　worrying　over　something　he　can't　talk　about。　She　didn't　know　exactly　what　he　was　doing；　but　she　was　certain　that　it　was　not　yet　done。
　　　　The　medical　profession　had　unexpectedly　given　her　a　belief　in　fate。　Some　people　simply　had　their　time。　If　it　was　not　yet　that　time；　chance　or　a　good　surgeon　would　save　the　life　in　question；　but　if　the　time　had　e；　all　the　skilled　people　in　the　world　could　not　change　it。　Caroline　Ryan；　MD；　knew　that　this　was　a　strange　way　for　a　physician　to　think；　and　she　balanced　the　belief　with　the　professional　certainty　that　she　was　the　instrument　which　would　thwart　the　force　that　ruled　the　world　　but　she　had　also　chosen　a　field　in　which　life…and…death　was　rarely　the　issue。　Only　she　knew　that。　A　close　friend　had　gone　into　pediatric　oncology；　the　treatment　of　children　stricken　with　cancer。　It　was　a　field　that　cried　out　for　the　best　people　in　medicine；　and　she'd　been　tempted；　but　she　knew　that　the　effect　on　her　humanity　would　be　intolerable。　How　could　she　carry　a　child　within　her　while　she　watched　other　children　die？　How　could　she　create　life　while　she　was　unable　to　prevent　its　loss？　Her　belief　in　fate　could　never　have　made　that　leap　of　imagination；　and　the　fear　of　what　it　might　have　done　to　her　psyche　had　turned　her　to　a　field　that　was　demanding　in　a　different　way。　It　was　one　thing　to　put　your　life　on　the　line　　quite　another　to　wager　your　soul。
　　　　Jack；　she　knew；　had　the　courage　to　face　up　to　that。　This；　too；　had　its　price。　The　anguish　she　occasionally　saw　in　him　could　only　be　that　kind　of　question。　She　was　sure　that　his　unspoken　work　at　CIA　was　aimed　at　finding　and　killing　the　people　who　had　attacked　her。　She　felt　it　necessary；　and　she　would　shed　no　tears　for　those　who　had　nearly　killed　her　little　girl；　but　it　was　a　task　which；　as　a　physician；　she　could　not　herself　contemplate。　Clearly　it　wasn't　easy　for　her　man。　Something　had　just　happened　a　few　days　ago。　He　was　struggling　with　whatever　it　was；　unable　to　discuss　it　with　anyone　while　he　tried　to　retain　the　rest　of　his　world　in　an　undamaged　state；　trying　to　love　his　family　while　he　labored　。　。　。　to　bring　others　to　their　death？　It　could　not　have　e　easily　to　him。　Her　husband　was　a　genuinely　good　man；　in　so　many　ways　the　ideal　man　　at　least　for　me；　she　thought。　He'd　fallen　in　love　with　her　at　their　first　meeting；　and　she　could　recount　every　step　of　their　courtship。　She　remembered　his　clumsy　　in　retrospect；　hilarious　　proposal　of　marriage；　the　terror　in　his　eyes　as　she'd　hesitated　over　the　answer；　as　though　he　felt　himself　unworthy　of　her；　the　idiot。　Most　of　all；　she　remembered　the　look　on　his　face　when　Sally　had　been　born。　The　man　who　had　turned　his　back　on　the　dog…eat…dog　world　of　investments　　the　world　that　since　the　death　of　her　mother　had　made　her　father　into　a　driven；　unhappy　man　　who　had　returned　to　teaching　eager　young　minds；　was　now　trapped　in　something　he　didn't　like。　But　she　knew　that　he　was　doing　his　best；　and　she　knew　just　how　good　his　best　was。　She'd　just　experienced　that。　Cathy　wished　that　she　could　share　it；　as　he　occasionally　had　to　share　with　her　the　depression　following　a　failed　procedure。　As　much　as　she　had　needed　hi