annr.pandora-第7部分
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p the first five courses of the meal so that they could then swallow the others。 And I would lie upstairs； giggling in my bed； listening to all this laughter and vomiting。 Then the rape of the entire catering staff of slaves would follow； whether they were boys or girls or a mixture of both。
Family meals were an entirely different affair。 Then we were old Romans。 Everyone sat at the table； my Father was undisputed Master of his house； and would tolerate no criticism of Caesar Augustus； who； as you know； was Julius Caesar's nephew； and did not really rule as Emperor by law。
〃When the time is right； he will step down；〃 said my Father。 〃He knows he can't do it now。 He is more weary and wise than ever he was ambitious。 Who wants another Civil War？〃
The times were actually too prosperous for men of stature to make a revolt。
Augustus kept the peace。 He had profound respect for the Roman Senate。 He rebuilt old Temples because he thought people needed the piety they had known under the Republic。
He gave free corn from Egypt to the poor。 Nobody starved in Rome。 He maintained a dizzying amount of old festivals； games and spectacles … enough to sicken one actually。 But often as patriotic Romans we had to be there。
Of course there was great cruelty in the arena。 There were cruel executions。 There was the ever present cruelty of slavery。
But what is not understood by those today is that there coexisted with all this a sense of individual freedom on the part of even the poorest man。
The courts took time over their decisions。 They consulted the past laws。 They followed logic and code。 People could speak their minds fairly openly。
I note this because it is key to this story： that Marius and I both were born in a time when Roman law was； as Marius would say； based on reason； as opposed to divine revelation。
We are totally unlike those blood drinkers brought to Darkness in lands of Magic and Mystery。
Not only did we trust Augustus when we were alive； we also believed in the tangible power of the Roman Senate。 We believed in public virtue and character； we held to a way of life which did not involve rituals； prayers； magic； except superficially。 Virtue was embedded in character。 That was the inheritance of the Roman Republic； which Marius and I shared。
Of course； our house was overcrowded with slaves。 There were brilliant Greeks and grunting laborers and a fleet of women to rush about polishing busts and vases； and the city itself was choked with manumitted slaves … freedmen … some of whom were very rich。
They were all our people； our slaves。
My Father and I sat up all night when my old Greek teacher was dying。 We held his hands until the body was cold。 Nobody was flogged on our estate in Rome unless my Father himself gave the order。 Our country slaves loafed under the fruit trees。 Our stewards were rich； and showed off their wealth in their clothes。
I remember a time when there were so many old Greek slaves in the garden that I could sit day after day and listen to them argue。 They had nothing else to do。 I learned much from this。
I grew up more than happy。 If you think I exaggerate the extent of my education； consult the letters of Pliny or other actual memoirs and correspondence of the times。 Highborn young girls were well educated； modern Roman women went about unhampered for the most part by male interference。 We partook of life as did men。
For example； I was scarcely eight years old when I was first taken to the arena with several of my brothers' wives； to have the dubious pleasure of seeing exotic creatures； such as giraffes； tear madly around before being shot to death with arrows； this display then followed by a small group of gladiators who would hack other gladiators to death； and then after that came the flock of criminals to be fed to the hungry lions。
David； I can hear the sound of those lions as if it were now。 There's nothing between me and the moment that I sat in the wooden benches； perhaps two rows up … the premium seats … and I watched these beasts devour living beings； as I was supposed to do； with a pleasure meant to demonstrate a strength of heart； a fearlessness in the face of death； rather than simple and utter monstrousness。
The audience screamed and laughed as men and women ran from the beasts。 Some victims would give the crowd no such satisfaction。 They merely stood there as the hungry lion attacked； those who were being devoured alive almost invariably lay in a stupor as though their souls had already taken flight； though the lion had not reached the throat。
I remember the smell of it。 But more than anything； I remember the noise of the crowd。
I passed the test of character； I could look at all of it。 I could watch the champion gladiator finally meet his end； lying there bloody in the sand； as the sword went through his chest。
But I can certainly remember my Father declaring under his breath that the whole affair was disgusting。 In fact； everybody I knew thought it was all disgusting。 My Father believed； as did others； that the mon man needed all this blood。 We； the highborn； had to preside over it for the mon man。 It had a religious quality to it； all this spectacular viciousness。
The making of these appalling spectacles was considered something of a social responsibility。
Also Roman life was a life of being outdoors； involved in things； attending ceremonies and spectacles； being seen； taking an interest； ing together with others。
You came together with all the other highborn and lowborn of the city and you joined in one mass to witness a triumphant procession； a great offering at the altar of Augustus； an ancient ceremony； a game； a chariot race。
Now in the Twentieth Century； when I watch the endless intrigue and slaughter in motion pictures and on television throughout our Western world； I wonder if people do not need it； do not need to see murder； slaughter； death in all forms。 Television at times seems an unbroken series of gladiatorial fights or massacres。 And look at the traffic now in video recordings of actual war。
Records of war have bee art and entertainment。
The narrator speaks softly as the camera passes over the heap of bodies； or the skeletal children sobbing with their starving mothers。 But it is gripping。 One can wallow； shaking one's head； in all this death。 Nights of television are devoted to old footage of men dying with guns in their hands。
I think we look because we are afraid。 But in Rome； you had to look so that you would be hard； and that applied to women as well as men。
But the overall point is … I was not closeted away as a Greek woman might have been in some old Hellenistic household。 I did not suer under the earlier customs of the Roman Republic。
I vividly remember the absolute beauty of that time； and my Father's heartfelt avowal that Augustus was a god； and that Rome had never been more pleasing to her deities。
Now I want to give you one very important recollection。 Let me set the scene。 First； let's take up the question of Virgil； and the poem he wrote； the Aeneid； greatly amplifying and glorifying the adventures of the hero Aeneas； a Trojan fleeing the horrors of defeat by the Greeks who came out of the famous Trojan horse to massacre Helen's city of Troy。
It's a charming story。 I always loved it； Aeneas leaves dying Troy； valiantly journeys all the way to beautiful Italy and there founds our nation。
But the point is that Augustus loved and supported Virgil all of Virgil's life； and Virgil was a respected poet； a poet fine and decent to quote； an approved and patriotic poet。 It was perfectly fine to like Virgil。
Virgil died before I was born。 But by ten I'd read everything he'd written； and had read Horace as well； and Lucretius； much of Cicero； and all the Greek manuscripts we possessed； and there were plenty。
My Father didn't erect his library for show。 It was a place where members of the family spent hours。 It was also where he sat to write his letters … which he seemed endlessly to be doing … letters on behalf of the Senate； the Emperor； the courts； his friends； etc。
Back to Virgil。 I had also read another Roman poet； who was alive still； and deeply and dangerously out of favor with Augustus； the god。 This was the poet Ovid； the author of the Metamorphoses； and dozens of other earthy； hilarious and bawdy works。
Now； when I was too young to remember； Augustus turned on Ovid； whom Augustus had also loved； and Augustus banished Ovid to some horrible place on the Black Sea。 Maybe it wasn't so horrible。 But it was the sort of place cultured city Romans expect to be horrible … very far away from the capital and full of barbarians。
Ovid lived there a long time； and his books were banned all over Rome。 You couldn't find them in the bookshops or the public libraries。 Or at the book stands all over the marketplace。
You know this was a hot time for popular reading； books were everywhere … both in scroll form and in codex； that is； with bound pages … and many booksellers had teams of Greek slaves spending all day copying books for public consumption。
To continue； Ovid had fallen out of favor with Augustus； and he had been banned； but men like my Father were not about to burn their co
