annr.pandora-第5部分

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　You　were　in　misery；　having　thought　of　Armand；　having　remembered　his　walking　into　the　morning　sun。　You　mourned　for　Armand。
　〃Was　there　any　bond　between　you？〃　you　asked。　〃Forgive　me　my　boldness；　but　I　mean　was　there　any　bond　between　you　and　Armand　when　you　met；　because　Marius　had　given　you　both　the　Dark　Gift？　I　know　no　jealousy　exists；　that　I　can　feel；　I　wouldn't　bring　up　the　very　name　Armand　if　I　detected　a　hurt　in　you；　but　all　else　is　an　absence；　a　silence。　Was　there　no　bond'？〃
　〃The　bond　is　only　grief。　He　went　into　the　sun。　And　grief　is　absolutely　the　easiest　and　safest　of　bonds。〃
　You　laughed　under　your　breath。
　〃What　can　I　do　to　make　you　consider　my　request？　Have　pity　on　me；　Gracious　Lady；　entrust　to　me　your　song。〃
　I　smiled　indulgently；　but　it　was　impossible；　I　thought。
　〃It's　far　too　dissonant；　my　dear；〃　I　said。　〃It's　far　　too　…
　I　shut　my　eyes。
　I　had　wanted　to　say　that　my　song　was　far　too　painful　to　sing。
　Suddenly　your　eyes　moved　upwards。　Your　expression　changed。　It　was　almost　as　if　you　were　deliberately　trying　to　appear　to　enter　a　trance。　Slowly　you　turned　your　head。　You　pointed；　with　your　hand　close　to　the　table；　then　let　your　hand　go　lax
　〃What　is　it；　David？〃　I　said。　〃What　are　you　seeing？〃
　〃Spirits；　Pandora；　ghosts。〃
　You　shuddered　as　if　to　dear　your　head。
　〃But　that's　unheard　of；〃　I　said。　Yet　I　knew　that　he　was　telling　the　truth。　〃The　Dark　Gift　takes　away　that　power。　Even　the　ancient　witches；　Maharet　and　Mekare；　told　us　this；　that　once　Akasha's　blood　entered　them；　and　they　became　vampires；　they　never　heard　or　saw　the　spirits　again。　You've　recently　been　with　them。　Did　you　tell　them　of　this　power？〃
　He　nodded。　Obviously　some　loyalty　bound　him
　not　to　say　that　they　did　not　have　it。　But　I　knew　they
　did　not。　I　saw　it　in　his　mind；　and　I　had　known　it
　myself　when　I　had　encountered　the　ancient　twins；　the　twins　who　had　struck　down　the　Queen　of　the　Damned。
　〃I　can　see　spirits；　Pandora；〃　you　said　with　the　most　troubled　expression。　〃I　can　see　them　anywhere　if　I　try；　and　in　some　very　specific　places　when　they　choose。　Lestat　saw　the　ghost　of　Roger；　his　victim　in　Memnoch　the　Devil。〃
　〃But　that　was　an　exception；　a　surge　of　love　in　…　the　man's　soul　that　somehow　defied　death；　or　delayed　the　soul's　termination　…　something　we　can't　understand。〃
　〃I　see　spirits；　but　I　haven't　e　to　burden　you　with　this　or　frighten　you。〃
　〃You　must　tell　me　more　about　this；〃　I　said。　〃What　did　you　see　right　now？〃
　〃A　weak　spirit。　It　couldn't　harm　anyone。　It's　one　of　those　sad　humans　who　does　not　know　he's　dead。　They　are　an　atmosphere　around　the　planet。　The　'earthbound'　is　the　name　for　them。　But　Pandora；　I　have　more　than　that　in　myself　to　explore。〃
　You　continued：
　〃Apparently　each　century　yields　a　new　kind　of　vampire；　or　let　us　say　that　our　course　of　growth　was　not　set　in　the　beginning　any　more　than　the　course　of　human　beings；　Some　night　perhaps　I　will　tell　you　everything　I　see　…　these　spirits　who　were　never　clear　to　me　when　I　was　mortal　…　I'll　tell　you　about　something　Armand　confided　to　me；　about　the　colors　he　saw　when　he　took　life；　how　the　soul　left　body　in　waves　of　radiating　color！〃
　〃I've　never　heard　of　such　a　thing！〃
　〃I　too　see　this；〃　you　said。
　I　could　see　it　hurt　you　almost　too　much　to　speak　of　Armand。
　〃But　whatever　possessed　Armand　to　believe　in　the　Veil'？〃　I　asked；　suddenly　amazed　at　my　own　passion。　〃Why　did　he　go　into　the　sun？　How　could　such　a　thing　kill　Lestat's　reason　and　will？　Veronica。　Did　they　know　the　very　name　means　Vera　Ikon；　that　there　was　never　any　such　person；　that　she　could　not　be　found　by　one　drawn　back　to　ancient　Jerusalem　on　the　day　Christ　carried　his　cross；　she　was　a　concoction　of　Priests。　Didn't　they　know？〃
　I　think　I　had　taken　the　two　notebooks　in　hand；　for　I　looked　down　and　I　saw　that　I　did　indeed　hold　them。　In　fact；　I　clutched　both　of　them　to　my　breast　and　examined　one　of　the　pens。
　〃Reason；〃　I　whispered。　〃Oh；　precious　reason！　And　consciousness　within　a　void。〃　I　shook　my　head；　smiling　kindly　at　you；　〃And　vampires　who　speak　now　with　spirits！　Humans　who　can　travel　from　body　to　body。〃
　I　went　on　with　a　wholly　unfamiliar　energy。
　〃A　lively　fashionable　modern　cult　of　angels；　devotion　thriving　everywhere。　And　people　rising　from　operating　tables　to　speak　of　life　after　death；　a　tunnel；　an　embracing　love！　Oh；　you　have　been　created　perhaps　in　an　auspicious　time！　I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　it。〃
　You　were　obviously　quite　impressed　by　these　words；　or　rather　the　way　that　my　perspective　had　been　drawn　from　me。　So　was　I。
　〃I've　only　started；〃　you　said；　〃and　will　keep　pany　alike　with　brilliant　Children　of　the　Millennia　and　street…corner　fortune　tellers　who　deal　out　the　cards　of　the　Tarot。　I'm　eager　to　gaze　into　crystal　balls　and　darkened　mirrors。　I'll　search　now　among　those　whom　others　dismiss　as　mad；　or　among　us　…　among　those　like　you；　who　have　looked　on　something　that　they　do　not　believe　they　should　share！　That's　it；　isn't　it？　But　I　ask　you　to　share　it。　I'm　finished　with　the　ordinary　human　soul。　I　am　finished　with　science　and　psychology；　with　microscopes　and　perhaps　even　with　the　telescopes　aimed　at　the　stars。〃
　I　was　quite　enthralled。　How　strongly　you　meant　it。　I　could　feel　my　face　so　warm　with　feeling　for　you　as　I　looked　at　you。　I　think　my　mouth　was　slack　with　wonder。
　〃I　am　a　miracle　unto　myself；〃　you　said。　〃I　am　immortal；　and　I　want　to　learn　about　us！　You　have　a　tale　to　tell；　you　are　ancient；　and　deeply　broken。　I　feel　love　for　you　and　cherish　that　it　is　what　it　is　and　nothing　more。〃
　〃What　a　strange　thing　to　say！〃
　〃Love。〃　You　shrugged　your　shoulders。　You　looked　up　and　then　back　at　me　for　emphasis。　〃And　it　rained　and　it　rained　for　millions　of　years；　and　the　volcanoes　boiled　and　the　oceans　cooled；　and　then　there　was　love？〃　You　shrugged　to　make　a　mock　of　the　absurdity。
　I　couldn't　help　but　laugh　at　your　little　gest。　Too　perfect；　I　thought。　But　I　was　suddenly　so　torn。
　〃This　is　very　unexpected；〃　I　said。　〃Because　if　I　do　have　a　story；　a　very　small　story　…〃
　〃Yes？〃
　〃Well；　my　story　…　if　I　have　one　…　is　very　much　to　the　point。　It's　linked　to　the　very　points　you've　made。〃
　Suddenly　something　came　over　me。　I　laughed　again　softly。
　〃I　understand　you。〃　I　said。　〃Oh；　not　that　you　can　see　spirits；　for　that　is　a　great　subject　unto　itself。
　〃But　I　see　now　the　source　of　your　strength。　You　have　lived　an　entire　human　life。　Unlike　Marius；　unlike　me；　you　weren't　taken　in　your　prime。　You　were　taken　near　the　moment　of　your　natural　death；　and　you　will　not　settle　for　the　adventures　and　faults　of　the　earthbound！　You　are　determined　to　forge　ahead　with　the　courage　of　one　who　has　died　of　old　age　and　then　finds　himself　risen　from　the　grave。　You've　kicked　aside　the　funeral　wreaths。　You　are　ready　for　Mount　Olympus；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Or　for　Osiris　in　the　depths　of　the　darkness；〃　you　said。　〃Or　for　the　shades　in　Hades。　Certainly　I　am　ready　for　the　spirits；　for　the　vampires；　for　those　who　see　the　future　and　claim　to　know　past　lives；　for　you　who　have　a　stunning　intellect　encased　beautifully；　to　endure　for　so　many　years；　an　intellect　which　has　perhaps　all　but　destroyed　your　heart。〃
　I　gasped。
　〃Forgive　me。　That　was　not　proper　of　me；〃　you　said。
　〃No；　explain　your　meaning。〃
　〃You　always　take　the　hearts　from　the　victims；　isn't　it　so？　You　want　the　heart。〃
　〃Perhaps。　Don't　expect　wisdom　from　me　as　it　might　e　from　Marius；　or　the　ancient　twins。〃
　〃You　draw　me　to　you；〃　you　said。
　〃Why　？〃
　〃Because　you　do　have　a　story　inside　you；　it　lies　articulate　and　waiting　to　be　written　…　behind　your　silence　and　your　suffering。〃
　〃You　are　too　romantic；　friend；〃　I　said。
　You　waited　patiently。　I　think　you　could　feel　the　tumult　in　me；　the　shivering　of　my　soul　in　the　face　of　so　much　new　emotion。
　〃It's　such　a　small　story；〃　I　said。　I　saw　images；　memories；　moments；　the　stuff　that　can　incite　souls　to　action　and　creation。　I　saw　the　very　faintest　possibility　of　faith。
　I　think　you　already　knew　the　answer。
　You　knew　what　I　would　do　when　I　did　not。
　You　smiled　discreetly；　but　you　were　eager　and　waiting。
　I　looked　at　you　and　thought　of　trying　to　write　it；　write　it　all　out。。。
　〃You　want　me　to　leave　now；　don't　you'？〃　you　said。　You　rose；　collected　your　rain…spattered　coat　and　bent　over　gracefully　to　kiss　my　hand。
　My　hands　were　clutching　the　notebooks。
　〃No；〃　I　said；　〃I　can't　do　it。〃
　You　made　no　immediate　judgment。
　〃e　back　in　two　nights；〃　I　said。　〃I　promise　you　will　have　your　two　notebooks　for　you；　even　if　they　are　pletely　empty　or　only　contain　a　better　explanation　of　why　I　can't　retrieve　my　lost　life。　I　won't　disappoint　you。　But　expect　nothing；　except　that　I　will　e　and　I　will　put　these　books　in　your　hands。〃
　〃Two　nights；〃　you　said；　〃and　we　meet　here　again。〃
　In　silence　I　watched　you　leave　the　cafe。
　And　now　you　see　it　has　begun；　David。
　And　now　you　see；　David；　l　have　made　our　meeting　the　introduction　to　the　story　you　asked　me　to　tell。
　
　
　2
　
　PANDORA'S　STORY
　
　I　was　born　in　Rome；　during　the　reign　of　Augustus　Caesar；　in　the　year　that　you　now　reckon　to　have　been　15　B。C。；　or　fifteen　years　〃before　Christ。〃
　All　the　Roman　history　and　Roman　names　I　give　here　are　accurate；　I　have　not　falsified　them　or　made　up　stories　or　created　false　political　events。　Everything　be