annr.pandora-第5部分
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You were in misery; having thought of Armand; having remembered his walking into the morning sun。 You mourned for Armand。
〃Was there any bond between you?〃 you asked。 〃Forgive me my boldness; but I mean was there any bond between you and Armand when you met; because Marius had given you both the Dark Gift? I know no jealousy exists; that I can feel; I wouldn't bring up the very name Armand if I detected a hurt in you; but all else is an absence; a silence。 Was there no bond'?〃
〃The bond is only grief。 He went into the sun。 And grief is absolutely the easiest and safest of bonds。〃
You laughed under your breath。
〃What can I do to make you consider my request? Have pity on me; Gracious Lady; entrust to me your song。〃
I smiled indulgently; but it was impossible; I thought。
〃It's far too dissonant; my dear;〃 I said。 〃It's far too …
I shut my eyes。
I had wanted to say that my song was far too painful to sing。
Suddenly your eyes moved upwards。 Your expression changed。 It was almost as if you were deliberately trying to appear to enter a trance。 Slowly you turned your head。 You pointed; with your hand close to the table; then let your hand go lax
〃What is it; David?〃 I said。 〃What are you seeing?〃
〃Spirits; Pandora; ghosts。〃
You shuddered as if to dear your head。
〃But that's unheard of;〃 I said。 Yet I knew that he was telling the truth。 〃The Dark Gift takes away that power。 Even the ancient witches; Maharet and Mekare; told us this; that once Akasha's blood entered them; and they became vampires; they never heard or saw the spirits again。 You've recently been with them。 Did you tell them of this power?〃
He nodded。 Obviously some loyalty bound him
not to say that they did not have it。 But I knew they
did not。 I saw it in his mind; and I had known it
myself when I had encountered the ancient twins; the twins who had struck down the Queen of the Damned。
〃I can see spirits; Pandora;〃 you said with the most troubled expression。 〃I can see them anywhere if I try; and in some very specific places when they choose。 Lestat saw the ghost of Roger; his victim in Memnoch the Devil。〃
〃But that was an exception; a surge of love in … the man's soul that somehow defied death; or delayed the soul's termination … something we can't understand。〃
〃I see spirits; but I haven't e to burden you with this or frighten you。〃
〃You must tell me more about this;〃 I said。 〃What did you see right now?〃
〃A weak spirit。 It couldn't harm anyone。 It's one of those sad humans who does not know he's dead。 They are an atmosphere around the planet。 The 'earthbound' is the name for them。 But Pandora; I have more than that in myself to explore。〃
You continued:
〃Apparently each century yields a new kind of vampire; or let us say that our course of growth was not set in the beginning any more than the course of human beings; Some night perhaps I will tell you everything I see … these spirits who were never clear to me when I was mortal … I'll tell you about something Armand confided to me; about the colors he saw when he took life; how the soul left body in waves of radiating color!〃
〃I've never heard of such a thing!〃
〃I too see this;〃 you said。
I could see it hurt you almost too much to speak of Armand。
〃But whatever possessed Armand to believe in the Veil'?〃 I asked; suddenly amazed at my own passion。 〃Why did he go into the sun? How could such a thing kill Lestat's reason and will? Veronica。 Did they know the very name means Vera Ikon; that there was never any such person; that she could not be found by one drawn back to ancient Jerusalem on the day Christ carried his cross; she was a concoction of Priests。 Didn't they know?〃
I think I had taken the two notebooks in hand; for I looked down and I saw that I did indeed hold them。 In fact; I clutched both of them to my breast and examined one of the pens。
〃Reason;〃 I whispered。 〃Oh; precious reason! And consciousness within a void。〃 I shook my head; smiling kindly at you; 〃And vampires who speak now with spirits! Humans who can travel from body to body。〃
I went on with a wholly unfamiliar energy。
〃A lively fashionable modern cult of angels; devotion thriving everywhere。 And people rising from operating tables to speak of life after death; a tunnel; an embracing love! Oh; you have been created perhaps in an auspicious time! I don't know what to make of it。〃
You were obviously quite impressed by these words; or rather the way that my perspective had been drawn from me。 So was I。
〃I've only started;〃 you said; 〃and will keep pany alike with brilliant Children of the Millennia and street…corner fortune tellers who deal out the cards of the Tarot。 I'm eager to gaze into crystal balls and darkened mirrors。 I'll search now among those whom others dismiss as mad; or among us … among those like you; who have looked on something that they do not believe they should share! That's it; isn't it? But I ask you to share it。 I'm finished with the ordinary human soul。 I am finished with science and psychology; with microscopes and perhaps even with the telescopes aimed at the stars。〃
I was quite enthralled。 How strongly you meant it。 I could feel my face so warm with feeling for you as I looked at you。 I think my mouth was slack with wonder。
〃I am a miracle unto myself;〃 you said。 〃I am immortal; and I want to learn about us! You have a tale to tell; you are ancient; and deeply broken。 I feel love for you and cherish that it is what it is and nothing more。〃
〃What a strange thing to say!〃
〃Love。〃 You shrugged your shoulders。 You looked up and then back at me for emphasis。 〃And it rained and it rained for millions of years; and the volcanoes boiled and the oceans cooled; and then there was love?〃 You shrugged to make a mock of the absurdity。
I couldn't help but laugh at your little gest。 Too perfect; I thought。 But I was suddenly so torn。
〃This is very unexpected;〃 I said。 〃Because if I do have a story; a very small story …〃
〃Yes?〃
〃Well; my story … if I have one … is very much to the point。 It's linked to the very points you've made。〃
Suddenly something came over me。 I laughed again softly。
〃I understand you。〃 I said。 〃Oh; not that you can see spirits; for that is a great subject unto itself。
〃But I see now the source of your strength。 You have lived an entire human life。 Unlike Marius; unlike me; you weren't taken in your prime。 You were taken near the moment of your natural death; and you will not settle for the adventures and faults of the earthbound! You are determined to forge ahead with the courage of one who has died of old age and then finds himself risen from the grave。 You've kicked aside the funeral wreaths。 You are ready for Mount Olympus; aren't you?〃
〃Or for Osiris in the depths of the darkness;〃 you said。 〃Or for the shades in Hades。 Certainly I am ready for the spirits; for the vampires; for those who see the future and claim to know past lives; for you who have a stunning intellect encased beautifully; to endure for so many years; an intellect which has perhaps all but destroyed your heart。〃
I gasped。
〃Forgive me。 That was not proper of me;〃 you said。
〃No; explain your meaning。〃
〃You always take the hearts from the victims; isn't it so? You want the heart。〃
〃Perhaps。 Don't expect wisdom from me as it might e from Marius; or the ancient twins。〃
〃You draw me to you;〃 you said。
〃Why ?〃
〃Because you do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written … behind your silence and your suffering。〃
〃You are too romantic; friend;〃 I said。
You waited patiently。 I think you could feel the tumult in me; the shivering of my soul in the face of so much new emotion。
〃It's such a small story;〃 I said。 I saw images; memories; moments; the stuff that can incite souls to action and creation。 I saw the very faintest possibility of faith。
I think you already knew the answer。
You knew what I would do when I did not。
You smiled discreetly; but you were eager and waiting。
I looked at you and thought of trying to write it; write it all out。。。
〃You want me to leave now; don't you'?〃 you said。 You rose; collected your rain…spattered coat and bent over gracefully to kiss my hand。
My hands were clutching the notebooks。
〃No;〃 I said; 〃I can't do it。〃
You made no immediate judgment。
〃e back in two nights;〃 I said。 〃I promise you will have your two notebooks for you; even if they are pletely empty or only contain a better explanation of why I can't retrieve my lost life。 I won't disappoint you。 But expect nothing; except that I will e and I will put these books in your hands。〃
〃Two nights;〃 you said; 〃and we meet here again。〃
In silence I watched you leave the cafe。
And now you see it has begun; David。
And now you see; David; l have made our meeting the introduction to the story you asked me to tell。
2
PANDORA'S STORY
I was born in Rome; during the reign of Augustus Caesar; in the year that you now reckon to have been 15 B。C。; or fifteen years 〃before Christ。〃
All the Roman history and Roman names I give here are accurate; I have not falsified them or made up stories or created false political events。 Everything be