rs.inthebestfamelies-第3部分

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nce　Wolfe　regards　Darst　as　the　best　sausage　maker　west　of　Cherbourg；　he　asked　that　it　be　sent　immediately　by　messenger；　and　for　heaven's　sake　not　with　dry　ice。
　　When；　at　11：　o　i；　the　sound　of　Wolfe's　elevator　came；　I　got　the　big　dictionary　in　front　of　me　on　my　desk；　opened　to　H；　and　was　bent　over　it　as　he　entered　the　office；　crossed　to　his　oversized　custom…built　chair；　and　sat。　He　didn't　bite　at　once　because　his　mind　was　elsewhere。　Even　before　he　rang　for　beer　he　asked；　〃Has　the　sausage　e？〃
　　Without　looking　up　I　told　him　no。
　　He　pressed　the　button　twice…the　beer　signal…leaned　back；　and　frowned　at　me。　I　didn't　see　the　frown；　absorbed　as　I　was　in　the　dictionary；　but　it　was　in　his　tone　of　voice。
　　〃What　are　you　looking　up？〃　he　demanded。
　　〃Oh；　just　a　word；〃　I　said　casually。　〃Checking　up　on　our　client。　I　thought　she　was　illiterate；　her　calling　you　handsome…remember？　But；　by　gum；　it　was　merely　an　understatement。　Here　it　is；　absolutely　kosher：　'Handsome：　moderately　large。'　For　an　example　it　gives　'a　handsome　sum　of　money。'　So　she　was　dead　right；　you're　a　handsome　detective；　meaning　a　moderately　large　detective。〃　I　closed　the　dictionary　and　returned　it　to　its　place；　remarking　cheerfully；　〃Live　and　learn！〃
　　It　was　a　dud。　Ordinarily　that　would　have　started　him　tossing　phrases　and　adjectives；　but　he　was　occupied。　Maybe　he　didn't　even　hear　me。　When　Fritz　came　from　the　kitchen　with　the　beer；　Wolfe；　taking　from　a　drawer　the　gold　bottle　opener　that　a　pleased　client　had　given　him；　spoke。
　　〃Fritz；　good　news。　We're　getting　some　of　Mr。　Darst's　sausage…four　pounds。〃
　　Fritz　let　his　eyes　gleam。　〃Ha！　Today？〃
　　〃Any　moment。〃　Wolfe　poured　beer。　〃That　raises　the　question　of　cloves　again。　What　do　you　think？〃
　　〃I'm　against　it；〃　Fritz　said　firmly。
　　Wolfe　nodded。　〃I　think　I　agree。　I　think　I　do。　You　may　remember　what　Marko　Vukcic　said　last　year…and　by　the　way；　he　must　be　invited　for　a　taste　of　this。　For　Monday　luncheon？〃
　　〃That　would　be　possible；〃　Fritz　conceded；　〃but　we　have　arranged　for　shad　with　roe…〃
　　〃Of　course。〃　Wolfe　lifted　his　glass　and　drank；　put　it　down　empty；　and　used　his　handkerchief　on　his　lips。　That；　he　thought；　was　the　only　way　for　a　man　to　scent　a　handkerchief。　〃We'll　have　Marko　for　the　sausage　at　Monday　dinner；　followed　by　duck　Mondor。〃　He　leaned　forward　and　wiggled　a　finger。
　　〃Now　about　the　shallots　and　fresh　thyme：　there's　no　use　depending　on　Mr。　Colson。　We　might　get　diddled　again。　Archie　will　have　to　go…〃
　　At　that　point　Archie　had　to　go　answer　the　doorbell；　which　I　was　glad　to　do。
　　I　fully　appreciate；　mosdy　anyhow；　the　results　of　Wolfe's　and　Fritz's　powwows　on　grub　when　it　arrives　at　the　table；　but　the　gab　often　strikes　me　as　overdone。　So　I　didn't　mind　the　call　to　the　hall　and　the　front　door。　There　I　found　a　young　man　with　a　pug　nose　and　a　package；　wearing　a　cap　that　said　〃Fleet　Messenger　Service。〃　I　signed　the　slip；　shut　the　door；　started　back　down　the　hall；　and　was　met　not　only　by　Fritz　but　by　Wolfe　too；　who　can　move　well　enough　when　there's　something　he　thinks　is　worth　moving　for。
　　He　took　the　package　from　me　and　headed　for　the　kitchen；　followed　by　Fritz　and　me。
　　The　small　carton　was　sealed　with　tape。　In　the　kitchen　Wolfe　put　it　on　the　long　table；　reached　to　the　rack　for　a　knife；　cut　the　tape；　and　pulled　the　Baps　up。　My　reflexes　are　quick；　and　the　instant　the　hissing　noise　started　I　grabbed　Wolfe's　arm　to　haul　him　back；　yelling　at　Fritz；　〃Watch　out！　Drop！〃
　　Wolfe　can　move　all　right；　considering　what　he　has　to　move。　He　and　I　went　through　the　open　door　into　the　hall　before　the　explosion　came；　and　Fritz　came　bounding　after；　pulling　the　door　with　him。　We　all　kept　going；　along　the　short　stretch　of　hall　to　the　office　door；　and　into　the　office。　There　we　stopped　dead。　No　explosion　yet。
　　〃It's　still　hissing；〃　I　said；　and　moved。
　　〃e　back　here'〃　Wolfe　manded。
　　〃Be　quiet；〃　I　manded　back；　and　dropped　to　my　hands　and　knees　and　made　it　into　the　hall。　There　I　stopped　to　sniff；　crawled　to　within　a　yard　of　the　crack　under　the　kitchen　door；　and　sniffed　again。
　　I　arose；　returned　to　the　office　on　my　feet；　and　told　them。　〃Gas。　Tear　gas；　I　think。　The　hissing　has　stopped。〃
　　Wolfe　snorted。
　　〃No　sausage；〃　Fritz　said　grimly。
　　〃If　it　had　been　a　trigger　job　on　a　grenade；〃　I　told　him；　〃there　would　have　been　plenty　or　sausage。　Not　for　us；　of　us。　Now　it's　merely　a　damn　nuisance。　You'd　better　sit　here　and　chat　a　while。〃
　　I　marched　to　the　hall　and　shut　the　door　behind　me；　went　and　opened　the　front　door　wide；　came　back　and　stood　at　the　kitchen　door　and　took　a　full　breath；　opened　the　door；　raced　through　and　opened　the　back　door　into　the　courtyard；　and　ran　back　again　to　the　front。　Even　there　the　air　current　was　too　gassy　for　fort；　so　I　moved　out　to　the　stoop。　I　had　been　there　only　a　moment　when　I　heard　my　name　called。
　　〃Archie！〃
　　I　turned。　Wolfe's　head　with　its　big　oblong　face　was　protruding　from　a　window　of　the　front　room。
　　〃Yes；　sir；〃　I　said　brightly。
　　〃Who　brought　that　package？〃
　　I　told　him　Fleet　Messenger　Service。
　　When　the　breeze　through　the　hall　had　cleared　the　air　I　returned　to　the　kitchen　and　Fritz　joined　me…　We　gave　the　package　a　look　and　found　it　was　quite　simple：　a　metal　cylinder　with　a　valve；　with　a　brass　rod　that　had　been　adjusted　so　that　when　the　package　was　opened　so　was　the　valve。　There　was　still　a　strong　smell；　close　up；　and　Fritz　took　it　to　the　basement。　I　went　to　the　office　and　found　Wolfe　behind　his　desk；　busy　at　the　phone。
　　I　dropped　into　my　chair　and　dabbed　at　my　runny　eyes　with　my　handkerchief。　When　he　hung　up　I　asked；　〃Any　luck？〃
　　〃I　didn't　expect　any；〃　he　growled。
　　〃Right。　Shall　I　call　a　cop？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　I　nodded。　〃The　question　was　rhetorical。〃　I　dabbed　at　my　eyes　some　more；　and　blew　my　nose。　〃Nero　Wolfe　does　not　call　cops。　Nero　Wolfe　opens　his　own　packages　of　sausage　and　makes　his　own　enemies　bite　the　dust〃　I　blew　my　nose　again。　〃Nero　Wolfe　is　a　man　who　will　go　far　if　he　opens　one　package　too　many。　Nero　Wolfe　has　never…〃
　　〃The　question　was　not　rhetorical；〃　Wolfe　said　rudely。　〃That　is　not　what　rhetorical　means。〃
　　〃No？　I　asked　it。　I　meant　it　to　be　rhetorical。　Can　you　prove　that　I　don't　know　what　rhetorical　means？〃　I　blew　my　nose。　〃When　you　ask　me　a　question；　which　God　knows　is　often；　do　I　assume…〃
　　The　phone　rang。　One　of　the　million　things　I　do　to　earn　my　salary　is　to　answer　it；　so　I　did。　And　then　a　funny　thing　happened。　There　is　absolutely　no　question　that　it　was　a　shock　to　me　to　hear　that　voice；　I　know　that；　because　I　felt　it　in　my　stomach。　But　partly　what　makes　a　shock　a　shock　is　that　it　is　unexpected；　and　I　do　not　think　the　sound　of　that　voice　in　my　ear　was　unexpected。　I　think　that　Wolfe　and　I　had　been　sitting　there　talking　just　to　hear　ourselves　because　we　both　expected；　after　what　had　happened；　to　hear　that　voice　sooner　or　later…and　probably　sooner。
　　What　it　said　was　only；　〃May　I　speak　to　Mr。　Wolfe；　please？〃
　　I　felt　it　in　my　stomach；　sharp　and　strong；　but　damned　if　I　was　going　to　let　him　know　it。　I　said；　but　not　cordially；　〃Oh；　hello　there。　If　I　get　you。　Was　your　name　Duncan　once？〃
　　〃Yes。　Mr。　Wolfe；　please。〃
　　〃Hold　the　wire。〃　I　covered　the　transmitter　and　told　Wolfe；　〃Whosis。〃
　　〃Who？〃　he　demanded。
　　〃You　know　who　from　my　face。　Mr。　X。　Mr。　Z。　Him。〃
　　With　his　lips　pressed　tight；　Wolfe　reached　for　his　phone。　〃This　is　Nero　Wolfe。〃
　　〃How　do　you　do；　Mr。　Wolfe。〃　I　was　staying　on；　and　the　hard；　cold；　precise　voice　sounded　exactly　as　it　had　the　four　previous　times　I　had　heard　it；　over　a　period　of　three　years。　It　pronounced　all　its　syllables　clearly　and　smoothly。
　　〃Do　you　know　who　I　am？〃
　　〃Yes。〃　Wolfe　was　curt。　〃What　do　you　want？〃
　　〃I　want　to　call　your　attention　to　my　forbearance。　That　little　package　could　have　been　something　really　destructive；　but　I　preferred　only　to　give　you　notice。　As　I　told　you　about　a　year　ago；　it's　a　more　interesting　world　with　you　in　it。〃
　　〃I　find　it　so；〃　Wolfe　said　dryly。
　　〃No　doubt。　Besides；　I　haven't　forgotten　your　brilliant　exposure　of　the　murderer　of　Louis　Rony。　It　happened　then　that　your　interest　ran　with　mine。　But　it　doesn't　now；　with　Mrs。　Barry　Rackham；　and　that　won't　do。　Because　of　my　regard　for　you；　I　don't　want　you　to　lose　a　fee。　Return　her　money　and　withdraw；　and　two　months　from　today　I　shall　send　you　ten　thousand　dollars　in　cash。　Twice　previously　you　have　disregarded　similar　requests　from　me；　and　circumstances　saved　you。　I　advise　strongly　against　a　repetition。　You　will　have　to　understand…〃
　　Wolfe　took　the　phone　from　his　ear　and　placed　it　on　the　cradle。　Since　the　effect　of　that　would　be　lost　it　my　line　stayed　open；　I　did　likewise；　practically　simultaneously。
　　〃By　God；　we're　off　again；〃　I　began。　〃Of　all　the　rotten…〃
　　〃Shut　up；〃　Wolfe　growled。
　　I　obeyed。　He　rested　his　elbows　on　his　chair　arms；　interlaced　his　fingers　in　front　of　where　he　was　roundest；　and　gazed　at　a　er　of　his　desk　blotter。
　　I　did　not；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　have　anything　to　say　except　that　it　was　a　lousy　break；　and　that　didn't　need　saying。　Wolfe　had　once　ordered　me　to　forget　that　I　had　ever　heard　the　name　Arnold　Zeck；　but　whether　I　called　him　Zeck　or　Whosis　or　X；　he　was　still　the　man　who；　some　ten　months　ago；　had　arranged　for　two　guys　with