tw.togreenangeltower2-第18部分
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elow。
Inside; the torchlight revealed a heap of damp straw in the middle of the dirt floor; as well as a few rusting tools with splintered or missing handles leaned against the wall in anticipation of repair。 A corroded scythe was depressing to Miriamele in its forgotten uselessness; but also heartening in that it suggested no one had used this shed for some time。 Reassured; she and Simon went back out and fetched their saddlebags。
Miriamele kicked the straw into two even piles; then laid out her bedroll on one of them。 She looked around critically。 〃I wish we could risk a real fire;〃 she said; 〃but I do not even like the torch。〃
Simon had stuck the burning brand into the dirt of the floor; away from the straw。 〃I need to be able to see to eat;〃 he said。 〃We'll put it out soon。〃
They devoured what remained of their meal hungrily; washing the dry bread down with draughts of cool milk。 As they wiped fingers and lips clean on their sleeves; Simon looked up。
〃So what do we do tomorrow?〃 he asked。
〃Ride。 If the weather stays like this; we might as well ride by day。 In any case; we'll see no towns of any size until we reach the walls of Falshire; so there shouldn't be many people on the road。〃
〃If the rest of the countryside around here is anything like Stanshire;〃 Simon said; 〃we won't see half a dozen people all day。〃
〃Perhaps。 But if we hear anything greater than a few riders ing toward us; we should get off the road; just to be safe。〃
There was a silence as Miriamele took a last drink from the water skin; then crawled onto her bedroll and pulled her cloak over her。
〃Are you going to tell me any more about where we're going?〃 Simon asked at last。 She could hear from his voice that he was trying to be careful; that he didn't want to make her angry。 She was touched by his cautiousness; but also felt more than a little cross at being treated like a child susceptible to tantrums。
〃I don't want to talk about it now; Simon。〃 She turned away; not liking herself; but unwilling to spill out her secret heart。 She could hear him clamber onto his own bedroll; then a quiet curse as he realized he had not snuffed the torch。 He crawled back across the shed。
〃Don't soak it;〃 she said。 〃It will make it easier to light the next time we need it。〃
〃Indeed; my lady。〃 Simon's voice was sour。 There was a sizzle and the light was gone。 After a few moments; she heard him return to his sleeping spot。
〃Good night; Simon。〃
〃Good night。〃 He sounded angry。
Miriamele lay in darkness and thought about what Simon had asked。 Could she even explain to him? It would sound so foolish to someone else; wouldn't it? Her father was the one who had started this war…or rather; she felt sure; he had started it at Pryrates' urging…so how could she explain to Simon that she needed to see him; to talk to him? It wouldn't just sound foolish; she decided; it would sound like the worst and most reckless sort of madness。
And maybe that's true; she thought gloomily。 What if I am just fooling myself? I could be captured by Pryrates and never see my father at all。 Then what would happen? That red…robed monster would have every secret of Josua's that I know。
She shuddered。 Why didn't she tell Simon what she planned? And more importantly; why hadn't she told Uncle Josua instead of just running away? Just the little bit she had told him had made him angry and suspicious 。。。 but maybe he was right。 Who was she; one young woman; to decide what was right and wrong for her uncle and all his followers? And wasn't that what she was doing; taking their lives into her hands to satisfy a whim?
But it's not a whim。 She felt herself divided into warring factions; like her father and uncle; two halves in conflict。 She was ing apart。 It's important。 No one can stop this but my father; and only I know what started it。 But I'm so frightened。。。。
The magnitude of what she had done and what she planned to do came rising up; until she suddenly felt she might choke。 And no one knew but her…no one!
Something inside her seemed about to break beyond mending。 She took in a great gulp of bream。
〃Miriamele? Miriamele; what's wrong?〃
Fighting to control herself; she did not reply。 She could hear Simon moving nearby; the straw rustling。
〃Are you hurt? Are you having a bad dream?〃 His voice was closer; almost beside her ear。
〃No;〃 she gasped; then sobbing took her voice away。
Simon's hand touched her shoulder; then tentatively moved up to her face。
〃You're crying!〃 he said; surprised。
〃Oh 。。。〃 She struggled to speak。 〃I'm so 。。。 I'm so 。。。 lonely! I want t…to go h…h…home!〃 She sat up and bent forward; pressing her face into the damp cloak over her knees。 Another great storm of weeping overtook her。 At the same time; a part of her stood as though separate; watching her own performance with disgust。
Weak; it told her spitefully。 No wonder you won't get what you want。 You 're weak。
〃。。。 Home?〃 Simon said; wondering。 〃Do you want to go back to Josua and the others?〃
〃No; you idiot!〃 Anger at her own stupidity momentarily cut through the sobs so that she could speak; 〃I want to go home! I want things to be the way they used to be!〃
In the dark; Simon reached for her and pulled her close。 Miriamele struggled for a moment; then let her head fall against his chest。 Everything hurt。 〃I'll protect you;〃 he said softly。 There was a curious note in his voice; a sort of quiet exultation。 〃I'll take care of you; Miriamele。〃
She pushed herself away from him。 In the sliver of moonlight that leaked through the shed's doorway; she could see his tousle…haired silhouette。 〃I don't want to be protected! I'm not a child。 I just want things to be right again。〃
Simon sat unmoving for a long moment; then she felt his arm again around her shoulder。 His voice was gentle when she expected to have her own anger returned。
〃I'm sorry;〃 he said。 〃I'm scared; too。 I'm sorry。〃
And as he spoke; she realized suddenly that this was Simon beside her; that he was not her enemy。 She let herself sag back against his chest; craving for a moment the warmth and solidity of him。 A fresh torrent of tears came rushing up and spilled out of her。
〃Please; Miri;〃 he said helplessly。 〃Don't cry。〃 He put his other arm around her and held her tightly。
After a while the storm of weeping subsided。 Miriamele could only lean against Simon; without strength。 She felt his fingers run along her jaw; tracing the path of her tears。 She pushed in closer; burrowing like a frightened animal; until she felt her face rub against his neck; his hidden blood pulsing against her cheek。
〃Oh; Simon;〃 she said; her voice ragged。 〃I'm so sorry。〃
〃Miriamele;〃 he began; then fell silent。 She felt his hand on her chin; cupping it gently。 He turned her face up to his; to his warm breath。 He seemed about to say something。 She could feel the words suspended between them; trembling; unspoken。 Then she felt his lips upon hers; the gentle scratch of his beard around her mouth。
For a moment; Miriamele felt herself floating in some unfixed place; in some unrecorded time。 She sought a huddling place; somewhere to flee from the pain that seemed all around her like a storm。 His mouth was soft; careful; but the hand that touched her face was shaking。 She was shaking; too。 She wanted to fall into him; to dive into him like a quiet pool。
Unbidden; a picture came to her like a shred of dream: Earl Aspitis; his fine golden hair gleaming in lamplight; bending above her。 The arm around her was suddenly a confining claw。
〃No;〃 she said; pulling away。 〃No; Simon; I can't。〃
He let go of her quickly; like someone caught pilfering。 〃I didn't。。。〃
〃Just leave me alone。〃 She heard her own voice; flat and cold。 It did not match the swirl of violent feelings inside her。 〃I'm 。。。 I just 。。。〃 She; too; was at a loss for words。
In the silence; there was a sudden noise。 A long moment passed before Miriamele realized that it came from outside the shed。 It was the horses; whinnying nervously。 An instant later; a twig crackled just beyond the door。
〃There's someone out there!〃 she hissed。 The confusion of the moment before fell away; replaced by the ice of fear。
Simon fumbled for his sword; finding it; he stood and moved to the door。 Miriamele followed。
〃Should I open it?〃 he asked。 '
〃We don't want to be caught in here;〃 she whispered sharply。 〃We don't want to be trapped。〃
Simon hesitated; then pushed the door outward。 There was a flurry of movement outside。 Someone was hurrying away; a shadow lurching toward the road through the misted moonlight。
Simon kicked free of the cloak tangled about his legs; then sprang out the door after the fleeing shape。
5
Fire Dance
Simon was filled with anger; a high; wild fury that pushed him on like a wind at his back。 The figure running before him faltered and he drew closer。 He felt as he thought Qantaqa must feel when she ran some small fleeing thing to ground。
Spy on me! Spy on me; will you?!