rh.royalassassin-第62部分

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　my　forehead。　I　was　somehow　ashamed　that　I　hadn't　been　hurt。　The　little　girl　had　died；　I　should　have　at　least　been　injured。　I　don't　know　why　that　thought　made　sense　to　me。　I　watched　Burrich　make　a　neat　white　bandage　snug　on　my　forearm。　The　healer　brought　me　a　mug　of　tea。　Burrich　took　it　from　him；　sniffed　it　thoughtfully；　then　gave　it　over　to　me。　〃I　would　have　used　less　valerian；〃　was　all　he　said　to　the　man。　The　healer　stepped　back　and　went　to　sit　by　the　hearth。
　　　　　　　Charim　came　in　with　a　tray　of　food。　He　cleared　a　small　table　and　began　to　set　it　out　on　it。　A　moment　later　Verity　strode　into　the　room。　He　took　his　cloak　off　and　flung　it　over　a　chairback。　〃I　found　her　husband　in　the　market；〃　he　said。　〃He's　with　her　now。　She　had　left　the　child　playing　on　the　doorstep　while　she　went　to　the　stream　for　water。　When　she　got　back；　the　child　was　gone。〃　He　glanced　toward　me；　but　I　couldn't　meet　his　eyes。　〃We　found　her　calling　her　little　girl　in　the　woods。　I　knew。。。。〃　He　glanced　abruptly　at　the　healer。　〃Thank　you；　Dem。　If　you've　finished　with　FitzChivalry；　you　may　go。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　haven't　even　looked　at…〃
　　　　　　　〃He's　fine。〃　Burrich　had　run　a　length　of　bandaging　across　my　chest　and　under　my　opposite　arm　and　up　again　in　an　effort　to　keep　a　dressing　in　place　on　my　neck。　It　was　useless。　The　bite　was　right　atop　the　muscle　between　the　tip　of　my　shoulder　and　my　neck。　I　tried　to　find　something　amusing　in　the　irritated　look　the　healer　gave　Burrich　before　he　left。　Burrich　didn't　even　notice　it。
　　　　　　　Verity　dragged　up　a　chair　to　face　me。　I　began　to　lift　the　mug　to　my　lips；　but　Burrich　casually　reached　over　and　took　it　from　my　hand。　〃After　you've　talked。　There's　enough　valerian　in　here　to　drop　you　in　your　tracks。〃　He　took　it　and　himself　out　of　the　way。　Over　by　the　hearth；　I　watched　him　dump　out　half　of　the　tea　and　dilute　what　was　left　with　more　hot　water。　That　done；　he　crossed　his　arms　on　his　chest　and　leaned　against　the　mantelpiece；　watching　us。
　　　　　　　I　shifted　my　gaze　to　Verity's　eyes；　and　waited　for　him　to　speak。
　　　　　　　He　sighed。　〃I　saw　the　child　with　you。　Saw　them　fighting　over　her。　Then　you　were　suddenly　gone。　We　lost　our　joining；　and　I　couldn't　find　you　again；　not　even　with　all　my　strength。　I　knew　you　were　in　trouble　and　set　out　to　reach　you　as　soon　as　I　could。　I'm　sorry　I　wasn't　faster。〃
　　　　　　　I　longed　to　open　myself　up　and　tell　Verity　everything。　But　it　might　be　too　revealing。　To　possess　a　Prince's　secrets　does　not　give　one　the　right　to　divulge　them。　I　glanced　at　Burrich。　He　was　studying　the　wall。　I　spoke　formally。　〃Thank　you；　my　prince。　You　could　not　have　e　faster。　And　even　if　you　had；　it　would　have　been　too　late。　She　died　at　almost　the　same　instant　I　saw　her。〃
　　　　　　　Verity　looked　down　at　his　hands。　〃I　knew　that。　Knew　it　better　than　you　did。　My　concern　was　for　you。〃　He　looked　up　at　me　and　tried　for　a　smile。　〃The　most　distinctive　part　of　your　fighting　style　is　the　incredible　way　you　have　of　surviving　it。〃
　　　　　　　From　the　corner　of　my　eye；　I　saw　Burrich　shift；　open　his　mouth　to　speak；　then　close　it　again。　Cold　dread　uncoiled　in　me。　He　had　seen　the　bodies　of　the　Forged　ones；　seen　the　tracks。　He　knew　I　hadn't　fought　alone　against　them。　It　was　the　only　thing　that　could　have　made　the　day　worse。　I　felt　as　if　my　heart　were　suddenly　caught　in　a　cold　stillness。　That　Burrich　had　not　spoken　of　it　yet；　that　he　was　reserving　his　accusations　for　a　private　time　only　made　it　worse。
　　　　　　　〃FitzChivalry？〃　Verity　called　my　attention　back　to　him。
　　　　　　　I　started。　〃I　beg　your　pardon；　my　prince。〃
　　　　　　　He　laughed；　almost；　a　brief　snort。　〃Enough　of　‘my　prince。'　Rest　assured　that　I　do　not　expect　it　of　you　just　now；　and　neither　does　Burrich。　He　and　I　know　each　other　well　enough；　he　did　not　‘my　prince'　my　brother　at　moments　like　this。　Recall　that　he　was　king's　man　to　my　brother。　Chivalry　drew　on　his　strength；　and　oftentimes　not　gently。　I　am　sure　Burrich　knows　that　I　have　used　you　likewise。　And　knows　also　that　I　rode　with　your　eyes　today；　at　least　as　far　as　the　top　of　that　ridge。　〃
　　　　　　　I　looked　to　Burrich；　who　nodded　slowly。　Neither　of　us　was　certain　why　he　was　being　included　here。
　　　　　　　〃I　lost　touch　with　you　when　you　went　into　a　battle　frenzy。　If　I　am　to　use　you　as　I　wish；　that　cannot　happen。〃　Verity　drummed　his　fingers　lightly　on　his　thighs　for　a　moment；　in　thought。　〃The　only　way　I　can　see　for　you　to　learn　this　thing　is　to　practice　it。　Burrich。　Chivalry　once　told　me　that　in　a　tight　spot；　you　were　better　with　an　ax　than　a　sword。〃
　　　　　　　Burrich　looked　startled。　Plainly　he　had　not　expected　Verity　to　know　this　about　him。　He　nodded　again；　slowly。　〃He　used　to　mock　me　about　it。　Said　it　was　a　brawler's　tool；　not　a　gentleman's　weapon。〃
　　　　　　　Verity　permitted　himself　a　tight　smile。　〃Appropriate　for　Fitz's　style；　then。　You　will　teach　him　to　use　one。　I　don't　believe　it's　something　Hod　teaches　as　a　general　rule。　Though　no　doubt　she　could　if　I　asked　her。　But　I'd　rather　it　was　you。　Because　I　want　Fitz　to　practice　keeping　me　with　him　while　he　learns　it。　If　we　can　tie　the　two　lessons　together；　perhaps　he　can　master　them　both　at　once。　And　if　you　are　teaching　him；　then　he'll　not　be　too　distracted　about　keeping　my　presence　a　secret。　Can　you　do　it？〃
　　　　　　　Burrich　could　not　pletely　disguise　the　dismay　that　crept　over　him。　〃I　can；　my　prince。〃
　　　　　　　〃Then　do　so；　please。　Beginning　tomorrow。　Earlier　is　better　for　me。　I　know　you　have　other　duties　as　well；　and　few　enough　hours　to　yourself。　Don't　hesitate　to　pass　some　of　your　duties　on　to　Hands　while　you　are　busy　with　this。　He　seems　a　very　capable　man。〃
　　　　　　　〃He　is；〃　Burrich　agreed。　Guardedly。　Another　tidbit　of　information　that　Verity　had　at　his　fingertips。
　　　　　　　〃Fine；　then。〃　Verity　leaned　back　in　his　chair。　He　surveyed　us　both　as　if　he　were　briefing　a　whole　roomful　of　men。　〃Does　anyone　have　any　difficulties　with　any　of　this？〃
　　　　　　　I　saw　the　question　as　a　polite　closing。
　　　　　　　〃Sir？〃　Burrich　asked。　His　deep　voice　had　gone　very　soft　and　uncertain；　〃If　I　may　。。。　I　have　。。。　I　do　not　intend　to　question　my　prince's　judgment；　but　。。。〃
　　　　　　　I　held　my　breath。　Here　it　came。　The　Wit。
　　　　　　　〃Speak　it　out；　Burrich。　I　thought　I　had　made　it　clear　that　the　‘my　princing'　was　to　be　suspended　here。　What　worries　you？〃
　　　　　　　Burrich　stood　up　straight；　and　met　the　King…in…Waiting's　eyes。　〃Is　this　。。。　fitting？　Bastard　or　no；　he　is　Chivalry's　son。　What　I　saw　up　there；　today　。。。〃　Once　started；　the　words　spilled　out　of　Burrich。　He　was　fighting　to　keep　anger　from　his　voice。　〃You　sent　him　。。。　He　went　into　a　slaughterhouse　situation；　alone。　Most　any　other　boy　of　his　age　would　be　dead　now。　I　。。。　try　not　to　pry　into　what　is　not　my　area。　I　know　there　are　many　ways　to　serve　my　king；　and　that　some　are　not　as　pretty　as　others。　But　up　in　the　Mountains　。。。　and　then　what　I　saw　today。　Could　not　you　find　someone　besides　your　brother's　child　for　this？〃
　　　　　　　I　glanced　back　to　Verity。　For　the　first　time　in　my　life　I　saw　full　anger　on　his　face。　Not　expressed　in　a　sneer　or　a　frown；　but　simply　as　two　hot　sparks　deep　in　his　dark　eyes。　The　line　of　his　lips　was　flat。　But　he　spoke　evenly。　〃Look　again；　Burrich。　That's　no　child　sitting　there。　And　think　again。　I　did　not　send　him　alone。　I　went　with　him；　into　a　situation　that　we　expected　to　be　a　stalk　and　a　hunt；　not　a　direct　confrontation。　It　didn't　turn　out　that　way。　But　he　survived　it。　As　he　has　survived　similar　things　before。　And　likely　will　again。〃　Verity　stood　suddenly。　The　whole　air　of　the　room　was　abruptly　charged　to　my　senses；　boiling　with　emotion。　Even　Burrich　seemed　to　feel　it；　for　he　gave　me　a　glance；　then　forced　himself　to　stand　still；　like　a　soldier　at　attention　while　Verity　stalked　about　the　room。
　　　　　　　〃No。　This　isn't　what　I　would　choose　for　him。　This　isn't　what　I　would　choose　for　myself。　Would　that　he　had　been　born　in　better　times！　Would　that　he　had　been　born　in　a　marriage　bed；　and　my　brother　still　upon　the　throne！　But　I　was　not　given　that　situation；　nor　was　he。　Nor　you！　And　so　he　serves；　as　I　do。　Damn　me；　but　Kettricken　has　had　it　right　all　along。　The　King　is　the　sacrifice　of　the　people。　And　so　is　his　nephew。　That　was　carnage　up　there　today。　I　know　of　what　you　speak；　I　saw　Blade　go　aside　to　puke　after　he　saw　that　body；　I　saw　him　walk　well　clear　of　Fitz。　I　know　not　how　the　boy　。。。　this　man　survived　it。　By　doing　whatever　he　had　to；　I　suppose。　So　what　can　I　do；　man？　What　can　I　do？　I　need　him。　I　need　him　for　this　ugly；　secret　battling；　for　he　is　the　only　one　equipped　and　trained　to　do　it。　Just　as　my　father　sets　me　in　that　tower；　and　bids　me　burn　my　mind　out　with　sneaking；　filthy　killing。　Whatever　Fitz　must　do；　whatever　skills　he　must　call　upon…〃
　　　　　　　（My　heart　stood　still；　my　breath　was　ice　in　my　lungs。）
　　　　　　　〃then　let　him　use。　Because　that　is　what　we　are　about　now。　Survival。　Because…〃
　　　　　　　〃They　are　my　people。〃　I　did　not　realize　I　had　spoken　until　they　both　swung　to　stare　at　me。　Sudden　silence　in　the　room。　I　took　a　breath。　〃A　long　time　ago　an　old　man　told　me　that　I　would　someday　understand　something。　He　said　that　the　Six　Duchies　people　were　my　people；　that　it　was　in　my　blood　to　care　about　them；　to　feel　their　hurts　as　my　own。〃　I　blinked　my　eyes；　to　clear　Chade　and　that　day　at　Forge　from　my　vision。　〃He　was　right；〃　I　managed　to　say　after　a　moment。　〃They　killed　my　child　today；　Burric