fh.godemperorofdune-第82部分
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l would like to have his child； she thought。 A child from both of us would be strong and resourceful。 What is it that God wants from a child of Siona and this man？
Nayla had awakened before dawn and had walked out to the top of a low dune at the village edge to think about this thing that Idaho proposed。 It had been a lime dawn with a familiar winding cloth of dust in the distance； then steel day and the baleful immensity of the Sareer。 She knew then that these matters certainly had been anticipated by God。 What could be hidden from God？ Nothing could be hidden； not even the remote figure of Duncan Idaho groping for a pathway up to the edge of heaven。
As she watched Idaho climb； Nayla's mind played a trick on her； tipping the wall to the horizontal。 Idaho became a child crawling across a broken surface。 How small he looked。。。and growing smaller。
An aide offered Nayla water which she drank。 The water brought the Wall back into its true perspective。
Siona crouched on the first ledge； leaning out to peer up…
ward。 〃If you fall； I will try it；〃 Siona had promised Idaho。 Nayla had thought it a strange promise。 Why would both of them want to try the impossible？
Idaho had failed to dissuade Siona from the impossible promise。
It is fate； Nayla thought。 It is God's will。
They were the same thing。
A bit of rock fell from where Idaho clutched at it。 That had happened several times。 Nayla watched the falling rock。 It took a long time ing down； bounding and rebounding from the Wall's face； demonstrating that the eye did not report truthfully when it said the Wall was sheer。
He will succeed or he will not；… Nayla thought。 Whatever happens； it is God's will。
She could feel her heart hammering； though。 Idaho's venture was like sex； she thought。 It was not passively erotic； but akin to rare magic in the way it seized her。 She had to keep reminding herself that Idaho was not for her。
He is for Siona。 If he survives。
And if he failed； then Siona would try。 Siona would succeed or she would not。 Nayla wondered； though； if she might experience an orgasm should Idaho reach the top。 He was so close to it now。
Idaho took several deep breaths after dislodging the rock。 It was a bad moment and he took the time to recover； clinging to a three…point hold on the Wall。 Almost of its own accord； his free hand groped upward once more； wriggling past the rotten place into another slender crack。 Slowly； he shifted his weight onto that hand。 Slowly。。。slowly。 His left knee felt the place where a toehold could be achieved。 He lifted his foot to that place； tested it。 Memory told him the top was near； but he pushed the memory aside。 There was only the climb and the knowledge that Leto would arrive tomorrow。
Leto and Hwi。
He could not think about that； either。 But it would not go away。 The top。。。Hwi。。。Leto。。。tomorrow 。 。 。
Every thought fed his desperation； forced him into the immediate remembrance of the climbs of his childhood。 The more he remembered consciously； the more his abilities were blocked。 He was forced to pause； breathing deeply in the attempt to center himself； to go back to the natural ways of his past。
But were those ways natural？
There was a blockage in his mind。 He could sense intrusions； a finality。。。the fatality of what might have been and now would never be。
Leto would arrive up there tomorrow。
Idaho felt perspiration run down his face around the place where he pressed a cheek against the rock。
Leto。
will defeat you； Leto。 I will defeat you for myself； not for Hwi； but only for myself。
A sensation of cleansing began to spread through him。 It was like the thing which had happened in the night while he prepared himself mentally for this climb。 Siona had sensed his sleeplessness。 She had begun to talk to him； telling him the smallest details of her desperate run through the Forbidden Forest and her oath at the edge of the river。
〃Now I have given an oath to mand his Fish Speakers；〃 she said。 〃I will honor that oath； but I hope it will not happen in the way he wants。〃
〃What does he want？〃 Idaho asked。
〃He has many motives and I cannot see them all。 Who could possibly understand him？ I only know that I will never forgive him。〃
This memory brought Idaho back to the sensation of the Wall's rock against his cheek。 His perspiration had dried in the light breeze and he felt chilled。 But he had found his center。
Never forgive。
Idaho felt the ghosts of all his other selves； the gholas who had died in Leto's service。 Could he believe Siona's suspicions？ Yes。 Leto was capable of killing with his own body； his own hands。 The rumor which Siona recounted had a feeling of truth in it。 And Siona； too； was Atreides。 Leto had bee something else。。。no longer Atreides； not even human。 He had bee not so much a living creature as a brute fact of nature； opaque and impenetrable； all of his experiences sealed off within him。 And Siona opposed him。 The real Atreides turned away from him。
As I do。
A brute fact of nature； nothing more。 Just like this Wall。
Idaho's right hand groped upward and found a sharp ledge。 He could feel nothing above the ledge and tried to remember a wide crack at this place in the pattern。 He could not dare to allow himself into the belief that he had reached the top。。。not yet。 The sharp edge cut into his fingers as he put his weight on it。 He brought his left hand up to that level； found a purchase and pulled himself slowly upward。 His eyes reached the level of his hands。 He stared across a flat space which reached outward。。。outward into blue sky。 The surface where his hands clutched showed ancient weather cracks。 He crawled his fingers across that surface； one hand at a time； seeking out the cracks； dragging his chest up。。。his waist。。。his hips。 He rolled then； twisting and crawling until the Wall was far behind him。 Only then did he stand and tell himself what his senses reported。
The top。 And he had not required pitons or hammer。
A faint sound reached him。 Cheering？
He walked back to the edge and looked down； waving to them。 Yes； they were cheering。 Turning back； he strode to the center of the roadway； letting elation still the trembling of his muscles； soothe the aching of his shoulders。 Slowly； he turned full circle； examining the top while he let his memories at last estimate the height of that climb。
Nine hundred meters。。。at least that。
The Royal Roadway interested him。 It was not like what he had seen on the way to Onn。 It was wide； wide。。。at least five hundred meters。 The roadbed was a smooth； unbroken gray with its edge some one hundred meters from each lip of the Wall。 Rock pillars at man height marked the road's edge； stretching away like sentinels along the path Leto would use。
Idaho walked to the far side of the Wall opposite the Sareer and peered down。 Far away in the depths； a hurtling green flow of river battered itself into foam against buttress rocks。 He looked to the right。 Leto would e from there。 Road and Wall curved gently to the right； the curve beginning about three hundred meters from the place where Idaho stood。 Idaho returned to the road and walked along its edge； following the curve until it made a returning 〃S〃 and narrowed； sloping gently downward。 He stopped and looked at what was revealed for him； seeing the new pattern take shape。
About three kilometers away down the gentle slope； the roadway narrowed and crossed the river gorge on a bridge whose faery trusses appeared insubstantial and toy like at this distance。 Idaho remembered a similar bridge on the road to Onn； the substantial feel of it beneath his feet。 He trusted his memory； thinking about bridges as a military leader was forced to think about them…passages or traps。
Moving out to his left； he looked down and outward to another high Wall at the far anchor of the faery bridge。 The road continued there； turning gently until it was a line running straight northward。 There were two Walls along there and the river between them。 The river glided in a man…made chasm； its moisture confined and channeled into a northward wind drift while the water itself flowed southward。
Idaho ignored the river then。 It was there and it would be there tomorrow。 He fixed his attention on the bridge； letting his military training examine it。 He nodded once to himself before turning back the way he had e； lifting the light rope from his shoulders as he walked。
It was only when she saw the rope e snaking down that Nayla had her orgasm。
What am I eliminating？ The bourgeois infatuation with peaceful conservation of the past。 This is a binding force； a thing which holds humankind into one vulnerable unit in spite of illusionary separations across parsecs of space。 If I can find the scattered bits； others can find them。 When you are together； you can share a mon catastrophe。 You can be exterminated together。 Thus； I demonstrate the terrible danger of a gliding； passionless mediocrity； a movement without ambitions or aims。 I show you that entire civilizations can do this thing。 I give you eons of life which slips gently toward death without fuss or stirring； without even asking 'Why？' I show you the false happiness and the shadow…catastrophe called Leto； the God Empero
