lh.narcissusinchains-第90部分

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　that　if　I　grabbed　him　we'd　make　it　to　the　bedroom。　I　wanted　that　door　between　us　and　everyone　else。
　He　put　his　arms　around　my　waist　and　lifted　me　off　my　feet；　until　our　faces　were　even　and　I　didn't　know　what　to　do　with　my　legs。　If　I'd　been　sure　we　wouldn't　be　using　the　kitchen　table　I'd　have　wrapped　my　legs　around　his　waist；　but　I　didn't　trust　either　of　us　that　far。　He　put　his　arms　under　my　butt；　so　that　my　head　was　slightly　above　his；　and　I　rested　in　his　arms　almost　like　I　was　in　a　swing。　I　could　still　feel　him　pressed　hard　and　firm　against　my　body；　but　it　had　a　certain　decorum　to　it　that　straddling　his　waist　lacked。　He　started　walking　for　the　door；　carrying　me；　his　eyes　so　intent　on　my　face　that　he　almost　tripped　on　a　chair。　It　made　me　laugh；　until　his　eyes　came　back　to　meet　mine；　and　I　saw　the　need　in　those　dark　eyes。　That　one　look　robbed　me　of　speech；　and　all　I　could　do　was　stare　into　his　eyes　as　he　carried　me　into　the　bedroom。
　
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　THE　BEDROOM　WAS　empty　when　he　kicked　the　door　shut　behind　us。　I　didn't　know　if　the　living　room　was　empty　or　not。　I　couldn't　remember　anything　but　Richard's　eyes　from　the　kitchen　to　the　bedroom。　Every　room　might　have　been　empty；　for　all　I'd　seen。
　We　kissed　just　inside　the　door；　my　hands　were　full　of　the　rich　thickness　or　his　hair；　the　firm　warmth　of　his　neck。　I　explored　his　face　with　my　hands；　my　mouth；　tasted；　teased；　caressed；　just　his　face。
　He　drew　back　from　my　mouth　enough　to　say；　〃If　I　don't　sit　down；　I'm　going　to　fall　down。　My　knees　are　weak。〃
　I　laughed；　full…throated；　and　said；　〃Then　put　me　down。〃
　He　half…walked；　half…staggered　to　the　bed；　laying　me　on　it；　going　to　his　knees　beside　it。　He　was　laughing　as　he　crawled　onto　the　bed　beside　me。　He　lay　beside　me；　his　knees　hanging　over　the　side　of　the　bed；　though　since　he　was　tall　enough　for　his　feet　to　actually　touch　the　floor　when　he　lay　like　that；　maybe　hanging　wasn't　the　right　word。　We　lay　beside　each　other　on　the　bed；　laughing　softly；　not　touching。
　We　turned　our　heads　to　look　at　each　other　at　the　same　moment。　His　eyes　sparkled　with　the　laughter；　his　whole　face　almost　shining　with　it。　I　reached　out　and　traced　the　lines　of　laughter　around　his　mouth。　The　laughter　began　to　fade　as　soon　as　I　touched　him；　his　eyes　filling　up　with　something　darker；　more　serious；　but　no　less　precious。　He　rolled　onto　his　side。　The　movement　put　my　hand　along　the　side　of　his　face。　He　rubbed　his　face　into　my　hand；　eyes　closed；　lips　half　parted。
　I　rolled　onto　my　stomach；　and　moved　towards　him；　my　hand　still　on　his　face。　He　opened　his　eyes；　watching　me　crawl　towards　him。　I　propped　myself　up　on　hands　and　knees　and　watched　his　eyes　as　I　leaned　in　towards　his　mouth。　There　was　eagerness　there；　but　there　was　also　something　else；　something　fragile。　Did　my　eyes　mirror　that　look；　half…eager；　half…fearful；　wanting；　afraid　to　want；　needing；　and　afraid　to　need？
　My　mouth　hovered　over　his；　our　lips　touching；　delicate　as　butterflies　blown　by　a　warm　summer　wind；　touching；　not　touching；　sliding　along　each　other；　gliding　away。　His　hand　grabbed　the　back　of　my　neck；　forced　my　mouth　to　press　against　his；　hard；　firm。　He　used　his　tongue　and　lips　to　force　my　mouth　open。　I　opened　to　him；　and　we　took　turns　exploring　each　other's　mouths。　He　came　to　his　knees；　hand　still　pressed　to　the　back　of　my　neck；　our　mouths　still　locked　together。　He　drew　back；　crawling　backwards　to　the　head　of　the　bed；　leaving　me　kneeling　alone　in　the　center　of　the　bed。　He　reached　under　the　covers；　drew　out　pillows；　propped　himself　up；　watching　me。　There　was　something　almost　decadent　about　him　naked；　propped　up；　watching　me。
　I　knelt　looking　back　at　him；　having　a　little　trouble　focusing；　thinking。　I　finally　managed　to　say；　〃What's　wrong？〃
　〃Nothing；〃　he　said；　voice　deep；　lower　than　normal。　It　wasn't　the　growl　of　his　beast；　it　was　a　peculiarly　male　sound。　〃I　want　to　run　my　beast　through　you；　Anita。〃
　For　a　split　second；　I　thought　it　was　a　euphemism；　then　I　realized　he　meant　exactly　what　he'd　said。　〃Richard；　I　don't　know。〃
　〃I　know　you　don't　like　otherworldly　stuff　during　sex；　but　Anita　。。。　〃　he　settled　into　the　pillows　in　a　strange　smoothing　motion　that　somehow　reminded　me　that　he　wasn't　human；　〃I　felt　your　beast。　It　rolled　through　me。〃
　Just　hearing　it　out　loud　took　a　little　of　the　glow　off　for　me。　I　slumped　back　against　the　bed；　still　on　my　knees；　but　no　longer　upright；　hands　limp　in　my　lap。　〃Richard；　I　haven't　had　time　to　think　this　through。　I　don't　know　how　I　feel　about　it　yet。〃
　〃It's　not　all　bad；　Anita。　Some　of　it　can　be　wondrous。〃
　This　from　the　man　who　had　hated　his　beast　for　the　entire　time　I'd　known　him。　But　I　didn't　say　that　out　loud。　I　just　looked　at　him。
　He　smiled。　〃I　know　how　strange　that　sounds　ing　from　me。〃
　I　looked　at　him　harder。
　He　laughed；　settling　lower　on　the　pillows　until　he　was　sprawled　in　front　of　me。　One　leg　bent　up　so　he　wouldn't　touch　me；　but　close　enough　that　I　could　have　touched　him。　He　lay　there　unself…consciously　nude；　which　I'd　seen　before；　but　it　was　more　than　that。　He　seemed　bathed　in　a　fortableness　that　was　rare　for　Richard。　I'd　seen　it　at　the　lupanar；　that　he'd　accepted　his　beast。　But　it　was　more　than　that；　he'd　accepted　himself。
　〃What　do　you　want　from　me；　Richard？〃
　This　was　his　cue　to　get　serious；　to　demand　I　be　less　bloodthirsty；　or　a　half　dozen　other　impossible　things。　He　didn't。　〃I　want　this；〃　he　said；　and　I　felt　the　prickling　rush　of　his　power　a　second　before　it　passed　through　me　like　a　warm　ghost。
　I　shuddered　with　it。　〃I　don't　know；　Richard。　I　don't　know　if　this　is　a　good　idea。〃　It　would　have　sounded　better　if　my　voice　hadn't　had　a　tremble　in　it。
　I　expected　him　to　question；　or　talk；　but　he　didn't。　I　felt　his　power　like　a　brush　of　thunder　a　second　before　it　smashed　into　me。　I　had　a　second　of　panic；　a　moment　to　wonder　if　his　beast　and　mine　would　claw　me　apart；　then　his　power　rubbed　through　me　like　a　velvet　glove。　My　beast　rose　as　if　from　a　great；　warm；　wet　depth；　up；　up　to　meet　the　warm；　burning　rush　of　Richard's　energy。　He　pushed　his　beast　through　me；　and　I　could　feel　it；　impossibly　huge；　the　brush　of　fur　so　deep　inside　me　that　I　cried　out。　I　felt　his　beast　as　if　it　had　crawled　inside　me　and　was　caressing　things　from　the　inside　that　his　hands　would　never　have　touched。　My　power　seemed　less　certain　than　his；　less　solid。　But　it　rose　around　the　hard；　muscled　fur　like　velvet　mist；　swirling　through　his　power；　through　my　own　body。　Until　it　felt　as　if　something　huge　was　growing　inside　me；　something　I'd　never　felt　before；　swelling　inside　me。　It　felt　larger　than　my　body；　as　if　I　couldn't　hold　it　inside　myself；　like　a　cup　filled　to　the　brim　with　something　hot　and　scalding；　but　the　liquid　kept　pouring　in；　and　still　I　held　it；　held　it；　held　it；　until　it　burst　over　me；　through　me；　out　of　me；　in　a　roar　of　power　that　turned　the　world　golden　and　slow；　drew　my　body　to　its　knees；　curved　my　back；　sent　my　hands　clawing　at　the　air　trying　to　hold　on　to　something；　anything；　while　my　body　spilled　apart　and　remade　itself　on　the　bed。　For　a　space　of　labored　heartbeats　I　thought　he'd　brought　on　the　change；　and　I　had　slipped　my　skin　for　real；　but　it　wasn't　that。　I　felt　like　I　was　floating　and　only　gradually　felt　my　body　again。　I　lay　on　my　back；　my　knees　folded　under　me；　hands　limp　at　my　sides；　so　relaxed　it　was　like　being　drugged。
　I　felt　the　bed　move　under　me；　and　a　moment　later；　Richard　appeared　above　me。　He　was　on　all　fours；　looming　over　me；　and　I　had　trouble　focusing　on　his　face。　He　cradled　my　face；　staring　into　my　eyes；　while　I　tried　to　look　at　him。　〃Anita；　are　you　alright？〃
　I　laughed　then；　slow　and　lazy。　〃Help　me　get　my　knees　straightened　out；　and　I'll　be　fine。〃
　He　helped　me　straighten　my　legs；　and　even　then　all　I　wanted　to　do　was　just　lay　there。　〃What　did　you　do　to　me？〃
　He　lay　down　beside　me；　propped　on　one　elbow。　〃I　brought　you；　using　the　beasts。〃
　I　blinked　at　him；　licked　my　lips；　and　tried　to　think　of　an　intelligent　question；　gave　up；　and　settled　for　what　I　wanted　to　know。　〃Is　it　always　like　that　between　lycanthropes？〃
　〃No；〃　he　said　and　leaned　over　me；　until　his　face　filled　my　vision。　〃No；　only　a　true　lupa；　or　a　true　Nimir…Ra；　can　respond　to　my　Ulfric　the　way　you　just　did。〃
　I　touched　his　chest　enough　to　back　him　up　so　I　could　see　his　face　clearly。
　〃You've　never　done　that　with　anyone　before？〃
　He　looked　down　then；　a　curtain　of　his　hair　sliding　over　his　face；　hiding　it　from　me。　I　pushed　his　hair　back　so　I　could　see　that　nearly　perfect　profile。　〃Who？〃　I　asked。
　Heat　washed　up　his　neck　and　face。　I　wasn't　sure　I'd　ever　seen　him　blush　before。　〃It　was　Raina；　wasn't　it？〃
　He　nodded。　〃Yes。〃
　I　let　his　hair　fall　back　in　place　and　lay　there　for　a　few　seconds　thinking　about　it。　Then　I　was　laughing；　laughing　and　couldn't　stop。
　He　was　back　at　my　shoulder；　peering　down　at　me。　〃Anita？〃
　The　laughter　faded　as　I　looked　into　his　worried　eyes。　〃When　you　forced　Raina　to　give　you　up　all　those　years　ago；　did　you　know　that　she　was　the　only　one　that　could　do　this　with　you？〃
　He　nodded；　face　solemn。　〃Raina　pointed　out　the　downside　to　not　being　her　pet。〃
　I　took　his　hand　and　slid　it　down　the　front　of　my　satin　bottoms。　His　fingertips　found　the　wetness　that　had　soaked　through　the　satin；　and　I　didn't　have　to　guide　his　hand　anymore。　He　cu