lh.narcissusinchains-第86部分

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ach　you　how　to　call　Gregory's　beast？〃
　〃I　didn't　learn　a　damn　thing　except　that　you're　in　a　foul　mood　and　taking　it　out　on　other　people。〃
　〃You　want　to　know　what's　wrong？　You　really　want　to　know？〃
　〃Yeah；　I　do。〃
　〃Get　out　of　the　way；　Stephen；〃　he　said；　and　Stephen　didn't　even　ask　why；　he　just　crawled　out　from　between　us。
　We　were　left　staring　at　each　other；　not　quite　two　feet　apart。　What　he'd　done　to　Stephen　seemed　to　have　taken　the　edge　off　his　power；　but　it　was　still　there　like　some　great　slumbering　thing　pressing　against　the　surface。
　〃Open　the　marks；　Anita；　feel　what　I'm　feeling。〃
　〃I　opened　the　marks　already。　I　figured　I　had　to；　to　learn　how　to　do　this。〃
　〃So　it's　just　my　shielding？〃　He　made　it　a　question。
　I　nodded。　〃I　can　feel　your　rage；　Richard；　I　just　don't　know　why。〃
　〃Just　my　shields　between　us　and　。。。　〃　He　shook　his　head；　almost　smiling；　then　he　dropped　his　shields。　It　hit　me　like　a　physical　force；　drove　me　back　a　step。　Anger　so　raw　it　filled　my　throat　with　bile；　a　self…loathing　so　deep　that　it　drew　tears　down　my　cheeks　in　two　hot　lines。　I　stood　there　for　a　minute　feeling　Richard's　pain；　and　it　was　suffocating。
　I　stared　up　at　him；　the　tears　still　wet　on　my　cheeks。　〃Richard；　oh　my　God。〃
　〃Don't　feel　sorry　for　me；　don't　you　dare　feel　pity　for　me！〃　He　grabbed　my　arms　when　he　said　it；　and　the　moment　we　touched；　our　beasts　poured　up　from　inside　us　and　spread　across　our　skins　in　a　hot　dance　of　power。　His　beast　crashed　through　me；　invisible；　metaphysical　claws　ripping　through　my　body。　It　was　as　if　Richard's　beast　was　trying　to　eat　his　way　through　my　body。　I　screamed；　and　thrust　my　beast　into　his；　and　I　felt　claws　ripping　into　meat。　There　was　nothing　to　see　with　the　eye；　but　I　could　feel　it；　feel　fur　and　muscle　and　meat　under　claws　and　teeth。　I　screamed　not　just　from　the　pain；　but　from　the　sensations　of　cutting　Richard　up。　He　hurt　me；　and　I　wanted　to　hurt　him　back。　There　was　no　more　reasoning；　no　more　thinking；　just　reacting。
　Our　beasts　tore　through　each　other；　rolling；　clawing；　tearing。　We　collapsed　on　the　deck；　screaming。　Dimly　I　could　still　feel　Richard's　hands　locked　on　my　arms　as　if　he　couldn't　let　go。
　There　was　movement　all　around　us。　People　hovering；　but　no　one　interfered；　no　one　touched　us。　When　we　fell；　they　scattered；　as　if　afraid　to　touch　us。　Voices　shouting　above　our　screams；　〃What's　wrong？　What's　happening？　Anita；　Anita！　Richard；　control　it！〃
　His　beast　was　suddenly　like　a　weight　inside　me；　but　it　didn't　hurt。　The　two　energies　lay　quiet；　leaning　against　each　other；　not　mingling；　just　leaning。　I　could　almost　feel　the　solid　push　of　his　beast　against　something　inside　of　me　that　had　bones　and　fur；　and　wasn't　me。　I　couldn't　hear　anything　but　the　thundering　of　the　blood　in　my　own　head。　I　felt　Richard's　weight　on　top　of　me；　before　I　looked　down　to　find　him　collapsed　over　me。　His　head　rested　on　my　chest。　I　could　feel　the　pulse　of　the　blood　in　his　body；　his　heart　racing　against　the　skin　of　my　stomach。　I　was　covered　in　the　cool　slime　from　Stephen's　body。　One；　I　was　lying　in　a　pool　of　it；　two；　Richard　had　been　covered　in　it；　and　he'd　slid　down　my　body。　I　was　going　to　have　to　shower　before　I　could　go　to　bed；　even　if　it　was　dawn。　And　I　ached；　ached　as　if　I'd　been　beaten。　I　knew　I'd　be　stiff　when　I　moved。
　Everyone　was　standing　in　a　ring　above　us；　staring　down。　I　found　my　voice；　hoarse；　almost　raspy；　but　clear。　〃Get　off　of　me。〃
　Richard　raised　his　head；　slowly；　as　if　he　hurt；　too。　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　〃You're　always　sorry；　Richard；　now　get　off　of　me。〃
　He　didn't　move；　in　fact　he　settled　heavier；　hands　curving　at　the　edges　of　my　waist。　〃Do　you　still　want　to　help　Gregory？〃
　〃That's　what　this　whole　show　is　about；　so　yeah。〃
　〃Then　let's　try　again。〃
　I　tensed；　and　started　trying　to　wriggle　out　from　under　him。　His　hands　tightened　at　my　waist。　〃Easy；　Anita；　it　won't　hurt。　I　don't　think。〃
　〃Says　you。　It　hurt　like　a　son　of　a　bitch。　Let　me　go；　Richard。〃　My　voice　held　the　beginnings　of　anger；　and　fear。　I　liked　the　anger；　could　have　done　without　the　fear。
　〃You　fought　me　to　a　standoff。　It's　over；〃　he　said。
　I　stopped　struggling　and　stared　at　him。　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃We're　not　the　same　kind　of　animal；　Anita。　They　had　to　find　out　who's　。。。　tougher。〃
　I　stared　down　the　line　of　my　body　into　those　brown　eyes。　〃Are　you　saying　this　was　some　kind　of　dominance　display？〃
　〃Not　exactly。〃
　Strangely；　it　was　Merle　who　answered。　〃When　two　such　different　beasts　meet；　and　they　are　both　strong　dominants　　such　as　a　true　Nimir…Ra；　and　a　true　Ulfric　　the　two　animals　must　fight　and　test　each　other。　I　have　seen　it　before。　It　is　a　type　of　taming　of　one　beast　by　the　other。〃
　I　looked　way　up　at　the　tall　man。　〃No　one　tamed　anyone。〃
　Merle　knelt　beside　us。　〃I　think　you　are　right。　It　is　as　the　Ulfric　has　said；　a　standoff。　He　could　have　kept　fighting　until　one　of　you　won；　or　lost；　but　he　chose　to　let　it　be。〃
　I　remembered　someone　telling　Richard　to　control　it；　it　being　his　beast。　I　looked　at　Richard。　〃You　stopped；　didn't　you？〃
　〃I　don't　care　which　of　us　is　more　dominant；　Anita。　Those　kind　of　games　have　never　meant　anything　to　me；　unless　people　forced　me　to　play　them。〃
　〃You　said　something　about　helping　Gregory。　What　did　you　mean？〃
　He　started　working　his　way　a　little　higher　up　my　body；　sliding　his　body　along　mine。　I　could　feel　the　slime　from　his　shirt　recoating　my　bare　stomach　and　nearly　bare　chest。　My　disgust　must　have　shown　on　my　face；　because　he　asked；　〃What's　wrong？〃
　〃Your　shirt　is　covered　in　slime；　and　I'm　lying　in　a　pool　of　it。　I　didn't　just　want　you　to　get　off　me　to　be　off　of　me；　I　wanted　to　get　up　out　of　this　mess。〃
　He　came　to　his　knees；　his　legs　on　either　side　of　mine。　I　could　feel　our　beasts　stretched　between　us　like　something　that　should　have　been　visible；　as　if　each　of　their　heads　was　buried　in　the　other's　chest。　He　offered　me　a　hand。　I　stared　up　at　him。
　〃I　know　you　don't　need　the　help；　Anita。　But　our　beasts　are　touching　now。　It's　a　close　connection　and　physical　contact　will　help　us　keep　it　until　we　finish　Gregory。〃
　I　didn't　need　the　earnest　look　on　his　face　to　know　he　was　telling　the　truth；　the　marks　were　still　open　between　us。　I　knew　he　was　telling　the　truth。
　I　took　his　hand　and　he　lifted　me　to　my　feet。　Standing　up　hurt；　and　either　he　felt　it　or　saw　it　on　my　face。　〃I　hurt　you；〃　he　said　softly。
　〃We　hurt　each　other。〃　I　could　feel　that　he　was　stiff；　aching；　but　he　moved　like　he　wasn't；　and　I　still　moved　human　stiff。
　He　raised　the　bottom　of　his　shirt；　still　holding　my　hand。　〃Touch　me。〃
　I　looked　up　at　him；　and　he　laughed。　〃Just　keep　physical　contact；　Anita。　I　don't　mean　anything　by　it。　But　I　need　both　my　hands。〃
　I　laid　a　hand　on　his　side；　very　tentatively。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃I'm　going　to　take　my　shirt　off。〃
　If　you　can't　touch　a　person's　hands；　arms；　or　much　of　their　upper　body；　you　run　out　of　polite　places　to　touch。　I　settled　for　sliding　my　hand　under　the　wet　shirt；　touching　the　smooth　firmness　of　his　side。　Even　his　skin　was　damp　from　the　shirt　having　molded　to　it。
　Richard　drew　the　shirt　over　his　head；　and　I　was　left　standing　inches　from　him　as　he　revealed　the　flat　plains　of　his　stomach；　the　muscular　swell　of　his　chest；　and　arched　his　back　to　draw　the　shirt　over　his　head。　The　sight　of　him；　the　pull　of　the　lust　that　always　came　when　I　saw　him　without　clothes　pushed　my　beast　against　his。　I　felt　furred　sides　roll　against　each　other；　a　tentative　roll　of　power　that　felt　like　someone　had　taken　velvet　and　caressed　the　most　intimate　part　of　me。
　Richard　gasped。
　I　concentrated　hard　to　stop　the　movement；　but　that　I'd　done　it　without　thinking　brought　heat　in　a　wash　up　my　face。　I　looked　at　the　ground；　my　hand　was　still　only　touching　his　side；　just　above　his　jeans；　but　the　touch　felt　suddenly　intimate。　I　wanted　to　take　my　hand　away；　and　his　hand　covered　mine　before　I　could　move。　He　pressed　my　hand　to　him；　firm；　but　not　forceful。
　He　touched　my　chin；　raised　my　face　until　I　had　to　look　at　him。　〃It's　alright；　Anita。　I　love　the　fact　that　just　seeing　me　moves　you　like　that。〃
　The　blush　that　had　been　fading；　blazed　harder。　He　laughed；　soft；　low；　with　that　edge　that　a　man's　laugh　gets　when　he's　thinking　intimate　things。　〃I　have　missed　you；　Anita。〃
　I　looked　up　at　him。　〃I　missed　you；　too。〃
　His　beast　moved　through　me　in　a　wash　of　power　and　sensation　that　left　me　gasping。　My　beast　responded　to　his。　I　couldn't　seem　to　stop　it。　Maybe　I　didn't　want　to。　Those　shadow　forms　rolled　in　and　out　of　each　other；　through　us；　until　I　couldn't　breathe；　couldn't　think。　It　was　Richard　who　drew　back　first；　and　said；　〃Dear　God；　I　never　thought　。。。　〃　I　felt　the　effort　it　cost　him　to　draw　back　from　me；　to　stop。　His　face　showed　a　businesslike；　no…nonsense　look；　but　I　could　feel　the　trembling　of　other　things　inside　him。　His　voice　came　out　brisk。　〃I'll　call　Jamil's　beast；　the　way　it's　supposed　to　be　done。　Feel　what　I　do；　how　I　use　my　beast　to　call　his。〃
　My　voice　was　a　little　breathy。　〃Then　I'll　do　Gregory。〃
　He　nodded。　〃Or　I　can　call　Shang…Da's　beast；　if　you　need　to　see　it　one　more　time。〃
　I　nodded。　〃Okay。〃
　He　slid　a　hand　around　my　waist；　drawing　me　against　him。　It　didn't　seem　as　intimate　as　the　roil　of　our　beasts　inside　us。　Jamil　stood　facing　us。　He'd　stripped　off　his　shirt　a