lh.narcissusinchains-第83部分

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　〃That's　enough；　Richard。〃
　Nathaniel　answered；　〃No。〃
　〃You're　so　scared　of　me　I　can't　tell　if　you're　lying　or　not。〃　He　grabbed　a　handful　of　Nathaniel's　hair　and　pulled　him　backwards；　peeling　him　away　from　me。　I　had　one　of　the　wrist　sheath　knives　in　my　hand　and　didn't　remember　drawing　it。　The　point　was　pressed　against　the　long　line　of　Richard's　throat；　and　even　I　was　breathless　at　the　speed　of　it。　It　must　have　been　a　blur　of　movement。　It　wasn't　human　speed。
　Everything　froze。
　Shang…Da　and　Jamil　moved　into　the　room。　I　pressed　the　point　deeper　against　Richard's　neck。　〃Don't　interfere；　boys。〃
　They　stopped　moving。　I　met　Richard's　gaze　and　found　his　eyes　had　gone　wolf　amber。　〃Let　go　of　him；　Richard。〃　My　voice　was　low；　but　it　seemed　to　fill　the　room。
　〃You　wouldn't　kill　me　for　this。〃　His　voice　was　low；　careful；　too。
　〃Kill；　no；　but　bleed？　Oh；　yes。〃
　〃You　need　me　to　help　you　save　Gregory。〃
　I　could　feel　his　pulse　beating　against　the　tip　of　my　knife。　〃I　won't　let　you　hurt　Nathaniel　to　save　Gregory。〃
　His　grip　actually　tightened　on　Nathaniel's　hair；　and　I　pressed　the　point　in　enough　to　draw　the　first　crimson　drop。　〃Would　you　be　this　upset　if　it　wasn't　Nathaniel？〃　he　said。
　〃This　is　the　only　warning　I　will　ever　give　you；　Richard。　Never　touch　one　of　my　people　again。〃
　〃Or　what？　You'll　kill　me？　I　don't　think　you'll　do　it。〃
　I　realized　in　that　moment　that　if　I　wasn't　willing　to　kill　him；　I　had　no　threat。　And　I　really　wasn't　willing　to　kill　him；　not　over　this；　not　yet。
　I　drew　the　blade　back　from　his　neck　and　watched　him　relax；　the　tension　easing　away　from　him；　his　hand　still　in　Nathaniel's　hair。　I　moved　without　thinking；　and　I　was　fast　enough　that　the　knife　cut　across　his　forearm　before　he　could　react。　He　jerked　away；　came　to　his　feet；　and　took　a　step　back；　holding　his　bleeding　arm。　The　cut　was　deeper　than　I'd　meant　for　it　to　be；　because　I'd　rushed　it。　Blood　dripped　from　between　his　fingers。　Jamil　and　Shang…Da　moved　into　the　room。
　I　stood　and　drew　Nathaniel　with　me；　as　he　pulled　up　his　shorts　to　cover　himself。　I　put　the　French　doors　at　our　backs。　〃You　are　never　to　lay　a　hand　in　anger　on　my　leopards；　Richard；　you　or　any　of　your　wolves。〃
　Jamil　was　helping　Richard　press　a　towel　to　the　wound。　Shang…Da　had　gone　for　Dr。　Lillian。　〃It　would　serve　you　right　if　I　just　walked　out　and　left　you　and　your　leopards　to　fend　for　yourselves。〃
　〃You'd　leave　Gregory　to　be　permanently　deaf；　or　dead；　because　we　had　a　fight？　He's　in　danger　because　you　couldn't　control　your　temper；　or　your　wolves。〃
　〃It's　my　fault；　right；　all　my　fault。〃
　I　just　looked　at　him；　Nathaniel　behind　me；　the　bloody　knife　still　in　my　hand。
　Richard　gave　a　laugh　that　sounded　more　out　of　pain　than　humor。　〃I've　let　everyone　down　tonight。〃　He　looked　at　me；　and　there　was　something　fierce　in　his　face　that　wasn't　his　beast　but　just　sheer　emotion。　Anger；　pain；　so　deep　it　was　like　anguish。　〃I'll　help　you　save　Gregory；　because　you're　right；　it　is　my　fault。　I'll　take　this；〃　he　raised　the　wounded　arm；　while　Jamil　still　held　it；　〃because　you're　right　again；　I　had　no　right　to　touch　one　of　your　people。　I　wouldn't　have　let　you　abuse　one　of　my　wolves　either。〃
　Dr。　Lillian　came　in；　took　one　look　and　started　scolding　us　for　being　children　who　couldn't　play　well　together。　〃He's　going　to　need　stitches。　Shame　on　you　both。〃
　Richard　stared　over　her　head　as　she　cleaned　the　wound。　I　think　he　wasn't　really　glaring　at　me；　he　was　glaring　at　Nathaniel。　He　was　genuinely　jealous。　Jealous　in　a　way　that　he　shouldn't　have　been。　What　had　Jean…Claude　told　him　about　the　ardeur　and　about　Nathaniel；　and　about　what　we'd　all　done　together　at　the　Circus？　Jean…Claude　wouldn't　actually　lie；　but　he　might　make　things　sound　worse　if　it　suited　his　purposes。　But　what　purpose　did　it　serve　to　make　Richard　jealous　of　Nathaniel？　I　would　have　to　ask　Jean…Claude　about　that。　I　had　time　to　call　while　Richard　got　stitched　up。
　
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　JEAN…CLAUDE　ADMITTED　ONLY　to　telling　the　absolute　truth。　But；　he　added；　if　because　of　that　Monsieur　Zeeman　was　jealous　of　Nathaniel；　this　wasn't　an　altogether　bad　thing。　〃He　will　share　you　with　me；　because　he　must；　and　he　will　share　you　with　Micah　also；　because　he　must；　but　we　are　both　alphas；　dominants。　To　share　you　with　someone　like　Nathaniel　　that　is　different。〃
　〃You　changed　something　about　the　story　to　make　Nathaniel　sound　like　more　of　a　threat；　didn't　you？〃
　〃No；　ma　petite；　I　merely　told　the　truth　without　leaving　anything　out。　He　is　not　entirely　happy　with　Jason　either。〃
　〃Jean…Claude；　you　can't　do　this　to　Richard。　You'll　drive　him　mad。〃
　〃Mad　enough；　perhaps；　to　finally　acknowledge　that　he　cannot　live　without　you；　and　that　he　must　e　to　terms　with　our　triumvirate。〃
　〃You　Machiavellian　shithead；　you're　playing　with　him。〃
　〃I　am　trying　to　maneuver　him　into　doing　what　must　be　done　if　we　are　to　survive。　If　that　be　Machiavellian；　so　be　it。〃
　〃You　are　making　things　worse；〃　I　said。
　〃I　don't　believe　so。　I　think；　ma　petite；　that　you　still　do　not　understand　men。　Many　men　will　give　up　a　woman　if　they　are　unhappy　with　her。　But　let　another　man　try　to　claim　her；　and　often；　they　find　they　still　do　want　her。〃
　〃You　and　Micah　aren't　petition　enough？〃　I　asked。
　〃As　I　explained；　we　are　his　equals。　Nathaniel　is　lesser；　and　that　will　prick　his　pride　more。〃
　〃I　didn't　think　Richard　had　that　kind　of　destructive　guy　pride。〃
　〃I　think　there　are　many　things　you　do　not　know　about　our　Richard。〃
　〃And　you　do？〃
　〃I　am；　after　all；　a　man；　ma　petite。　I　believe　I　understand　the　male　psyche　a　tiny　bit　better　than　you　do。〃
　I　couldn't　argue　with　that。　〃Well；　give　me　a　heads…up　next　time　you　plan　to　do　any　maneuvering。　You　could　have　gotten　one　of　us　killed。〃
　He　sighed。　〃I　do　keep　underestimating　the　stubbornness　of　both　of　you。　My　apologies　for　that。〃
　I　leaned　my　forehead　against　the　kitchen　wall。　〃Jean…Claude　。。。　〃
　〃Yes；　ma　petite？〃
　I　closed　my　eyes。　〃Tell　me　exactly　what　you　think　Richard　thinks　about　Nathaniel　and　me。〃
　〃I　told　him　the　absolute　truth；　ma　petite；　nothing　more；　and　nothing　less。〃
　I　turned　around；　put　my　back　to　the　wall；　looked　out　at　the　empty　kitchen。　Richard　was　in　the　downstairs　bathroom　getting　stitched　up。　Nathaniel　was　with　the　other　leopards。　I'd　given　strict　orders　that　he　was　not　to　be　left　alone。　I　just　wasn't　up　to　Richard　and　him　actually　having　a　fight。　It　would　be　too　。。。　ridiculous；　or　pathetic。
　〃And　what　does　that　mean；　that　you　told　the　truth；　no　more；　no　less？〃
　〃You　will　not　like　it。〃
　〃I　don't　like　it　now；　just　tell　me；　Jean…Claude。〃
　〃I　told　him　what　had　happened　with　the　ardeur；　and　added　my　own　belief　the　reason　you　so　often　find　Nathaniel　around　when　sex　is　in　the　air　is　that　you　find　him　sexually　attractive。〃
　〃That　did　not　make　Richard　e　over　here　and　start　a　fight。〃
　〃I　do　remember　adding　that　you　might　find　a　less…demanding　male　refreshing　after　the　two　of　us。　Someone　who　did　not　make　so　many　demands　on　you；　someone　who　merely　accepted　you　as　you　are。〃
　〃You　do　that；〃　I　said。
　〃So　good　of　you　to　notice；〃　he　said。　〃But　it　is　not　I　that　has　been　living　in　your　home　for　months；　and　from　what　I　smell　on　Nathaniel　when　he　es　into　work；　sharing　your　bed。〃
　〃Any　of　the　wereleopards　are　wele　in　the　bedroom　when　they　stay　here。　It's　like　a　big　pile　of　puppies　　it's　not　sexual。〃
　〃If　you　say　so。〃　His　voice　was　soft；　mocking。
　〃Damn　you；　Jean…Claude；　you　know　I　don't　see　Nathaniel　that　way。〃
　He　sighed；　and　it　was　heavy。　〃I　think　it　is　not　me　that　you　lie　to；　ma　petite　but　yourself。〃
　〃I　am　not　in　love　with　Nathaniel。〃
　〃Did　I　ever　say　you　were？〃
　〃Then　what　are　you　talking　about？〃
　He　made　a　small　exasperated　sound。　〃Ma　petite；　you　still　believe　that　you　must　love　every　man　that　you　e　to　physically。　It　is　not　so。　You　can　have　very　pleasant；　even　wondrous　sex　with　a　friend。　It　does　not　have　to　be　love。〃
　I　was　shaking　my　head；　realized　he　couldn't　see　it；　and　said；　〃I　don't　do　casual　sex；　Jean…Claude；　you　know　that。〃
　〃Whatever　you　are　doing　with　Nathaniel；　ma　petite；　it　is　not　casual。〃
　〃I　can't　use　him　as　my　pomme　de　sang。　I　can't。〃
　〃Your　morals　have　reared　their　ugly　heads；　ma　petite；　do　not　let　them　make　you　foolish。〃
　I　opened　my　mouth　to　protest　everything　he'd　said；　but　closed　it　and　just　thought　about　what　he'd　said　for　a　few　seconds。　Did　I　find　Nathaniel　attractive？　Well；　yeah。　But　I　found　a　lot　of　men　attractive。　That　didn't　mean　I　had　to　be　intimate　with　them。
　〃Ma　petite；　I　can　hear　you　breathing。　What　are　you　thinking？〃
　What　he　said　made　me　think　a　new　thought。　〃When　we　first　married　the　marks　I　could　almost　read　your　mind；　unless　you　concentrated　to　keep　me　out。　Now　it's　not　like　that。　Maybe　the　ardeur　will　be　temporary；　too。〃
　〃Perhaps；　we　can　but　hope。〃
　〃If　I　have　the　ardeur；　I'll　have　to　have　sex。　Isn't　that　what　you　wanted？〃
　〃I　would　be　a　fool　to　deny　that　your　enforced　chastity　is　burdensome；　but　I　would　never　willingly　inflict　the　ardeur　on　anyone。　It　is　a　。。。　curse；　ma　petite。　The　blood　lust　that　I　feel　can　be　sated。　My　body　can　only　hold　so　much。　But　the　ardeur；　oh；　ma　petite；　it　is　never　truly　satisfied。　There　is　always　that　ache；　that　need。　How　could　I　wish　that　upon　you？　Though　if　our　Monsieur　Zeeman　would　cooperate；　it　might　be　the　answe