lh.narcissusinchains-第77部分

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　〃And？〃　I　said。
　〃And　I　have　to　go　help　her。〃
　〃I　don't　like　secrets；　Micah。〃
　He　sighed；　running　his　fingers　through　his　hair。　He　ripped　the　ponytail　holder　out；　threw　it　on　the　floor；　ran　his　hands　through　the　shoulder…length　curls；　over　and　over；　as　if　he'd　been　wanting　to　do　it　all　night。　The　movement　was　harsh；　frantic　with　tension。
　He　looked　down　at　me；　dark　brown　hair　in　disarray　around　his　face；　eyes　gleaming。　In　an　instant　he　went　from　being　this　nice；　attractive　man　to　something　feral　and　alien。　It　wasn't　just　the　hair　or　the　kitty…cat　eyes。　His　beast　bubbled　against　my　skin　like　boiling　water。　I'd　felt　his　power；　but　not　like　this；　almost　hot　enough　to　scald。　Then　I　realized　that　I　could　see　that　heat；　see　it。　It　flowed　over　him；　invisible；　but　almost　not；　like　something　half…seen　out　of　the　corner　of　your　eye。　I　could　almost　see　the　shape　of　something　monstrous　looming　around　him；　like　heat　rising　off　of　summer　pavement；　a　rippling　thing。　I'd　been　around　shapeshifters　for　years　and　never　seen　anything　like　it。
　Merle　appeared　in　the　doorway。　〃Nimir…Raj；　is　anything　wrong？〃
　Micah　turned；　and　I　got　a　swimming　afterimage；　as　if　something　large　and　almost　invisible　moved　around　and　just　above　his　body。　His　voice　came　out　low　and　growling。　〃Wrong；　what　could　possibly　be　wrong？〃
　Gina　pushed　past　Merle。　〃We've　got　to　go；　Micah。〃
　Micah　put　his　hands　up；　and　the　afterimage　moved　with　him。　I　couldn't　actually　see　claws　and　fur；　just　hints　of　it；　swimming　around　him。　He　covered　his　eyes　with　his　hands；　and　I　saw　those　ghostly　claws　go　through；　into；　past　his　face。　Watching　it　made　me　dizzy；　and　I　looked　down　at　the　tabletop　to　steady　myself　and　reality。
　I'd　heard　Marianne　say　she　could　see　auras　of　power　around　people　and　lycanthropes；　but　I'd　never　been　able　to　see　one　before。
　I　felt　his　power　folding　away；　the　heat；　the　skin…ruffling　sensation　pulling　away；　like　the　ocean　going　back　from　the　shore。　I　raised　my　face　to　see；　and　that　seen…not…seen　shape　was　gone；　swallowed　back　into　his　body。
　He　stared　down　at　me。　〃You　look　like　you've　seen　a　ghost。〃
　〃You're　closer　than　you　think；〃　I　said。
　〃She's　afraid　of　your　power；〃　Gina　said；　and　there　was　scorn　in　her　voice。
　I　looked　up　at　her。　〃I　saw　his　aura；　saw　it　like　a　white　phantom　around　his　body。〃
　〃You　say　that　like　you've　never　seen　it　before；〃　Micah　said。
　〃I　haven't；　not　a　visual。〃
　Gina　took　his　arm；　gently　but　firmly；　and　tried　pulling　him　towards　the　door。　He　just　looked　at　her；　and　I　felt　his　presence；　his　personality；　for　lack　of　a　better　word；　like　something　almost　touchable。　She　dropped　to　the　floor；　gripping　his　hand；　rubbing　her　cheek　against　it。　〃I　meant　no　offense；　Micah。〃
　The　look　on　his　face　was　cold。　His　power；　his　force　began　to　trickle　through　the　room　again。
　〃Nimir…Raj；〃　Merle　said；　〃if　you　are　going；　then　you　must　go。　If　you　are　not　going　。。。　〃　His　voice　was　careful；　almost　gentle；　a　pitying　tone　of　voice；　and　I　didn't　understand　why。
　Micah　growled　at　Merle；　I　think。　Then　his　voice　came　out　normal；　human。　〃I　know　my　duty　as　Nimir…Raj；　Merle。〃
　〃I　would　never　presume　to　tell　you　the　duties　of　a　Nimir…Raj；　Micah；〃　he　said。
　Micah　suddenly　looked　tired　again；　all　that　energy　draining　away。　He　helped　Gina　to　her　feet；　though　it　looked　awkward　since　she　was　more　than　a　head　taller。　〃Let's　go。〃
　They　all　turned　towards　the　door。　〃I　hope　your　leopard　is　alright；〃　I　said。
　Micah　glanced　back。　〃Would　Nathaniel　be；　if　he'd　called　for　help？〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃No。〃
　He　nodded　and　turned　back　for　the　door。　〃Mine　either。〃　He　hesitated　and　said　without　turning　around；　〃I'll　take　Noah　and　Gina　with　me；　but　if　it's　alright　I'll　leave　Merle　and　Caleb　here？〃
　〃Won't　you　need　them　with　you？〃
　He　looked　back；　smiling。　〃I　just　need　to　pick　up　Violet。　I　don't　need　muscle　for　that；　and　you　might　want　some　extra　muscle。〃
　〃You　mean　in　case　Jacob's　people　get　pesky？〃
　His　smile　widened。　〃Pesky；　yeah；　in　case　they　get　pesky。〃
　Then　they　were　gone　into　the　other　room；　and　I　was　left　alone　at　the　table。　Lillian　came　back　in；　her　eyes　narrowed。
　〃What？〃　I　asked。
　She　just　shook　her　head。　〃None　of　my　business。〃
　〃That's　right；〃　I　said。
　〃But　if　it　were　。。。　〃
　〃But　it's　not；〃　I　said。
　She　smiled。　〃But　if　it　were；　I'd　say　two　things。〃
　〃You're　going　to　say　them　anyway；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Yes；〃　she　said。
　I　waved　her　to　go　ahead。
　〃First；　it's　nice　to　see　you　letting　yourself　follow　your　heart　with　someone　new。　Second；　you　don't　know　this　man　very　well。　Be　careful　who　you　give　your　heart　to；　Anita。〃
　〃I　haven't　given　anyone　my　heart；　yet。〃
　〃Not　yet；〃　she　said。
　I　frowned　at　her。　〃You　do　realize　that　you've　told　me　to　follow　my　heart　and　not　to　follow　my　heart。〃
　She　nodded。
　〃Those　are　contradictory　bits　of　advice；〃　I　said。
　〃I'm　aware　of　that。〃
　〃Then　which　piece　of　advice　do　you　want　me　to　follow？〃
　〃Both；　of　course。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃Let's　go　save　Gregory　and　worry　about　my　ever…sordid　love　life　later。〃
　〃I　can't　promise　that　we'll　save　Gregory；　Anita。〃
　I　held　up　a　hand。　〃I　remember　the　odds；　doc。〃　I　followed　her　out　and　into　the　darkened　living　room　and　tried　to　believe；　really　believe；　in　miracles。
　
　29
　
　WE　DECIDED　TO　do　it　on　the　deck　out　back。　My　deck　backed　to　a　couple　of　acres　of　mature　woodland。　No　neighbors。　No　one　to　see　us。　The　deck　was　also　twice　the　size　of　the　kitchen；　which　was　the　only　part　of　the　house　without　carpeting。　Once　a　shapeshifter　changed　on　a　carpet　it　was　either　steam　clean　it　yourself；　or　hire　it　done。　I　was　not　the　one　who　suggested　that　Gregory　would　ruin　the　carpet；　it　was　actually　Nathaniel。　He　was；　after　all；　the　person　most　likely　to　be　vacuuming　between　housekeeper　visits。　I　wasn't　even　sure　I　knew　where　the　vacuum　was。
　Gregory　was　curled　in　the　center　of　the　deck；　his　head　in　his　brother's　lap；　his　arms　wrapped　around　the　other　man's　naked　waist。　Only　the　curling　yellow　hair；　paled　by　moonlight；　covered　Stephen's　upper　body。　He'd　stripped　to　the　waist　in　preparation　for　the　change。　He　was　going　to　go　out　into　the　woods　with　his　brother。　This　presupposed　that　Gregory　would　survive　the　change。　We　had　a　fifty…fifty　chance；　not　bad　odds；　if　all　you　were　about　to　lose　was　money；　but　when　it　was　someone's　life；　fifty…fifty　just　didn't　sound　that　good。
　Stephen　looked　up　at　me。　His　cornflower　blue　eyes　were　silvered　with　moonlight。　He　looked　pale　and　ethereal。　His　face　was　raw　with　emotion；　his　eyes　held　an　intelligence　and　a　demand　that　Stephen　didn't　often　show。　He　was　submissive；　fragile　in　every　walk　of　his　life；　but　in　that　moment　he　laid　a　demand　on　me　with　his　eyes；　his　face；　the　pain　that　showed　in　the　set　of　his　shoulders；　the　fierce　way　he　touched　his　brother；　who　was　still　huddled　in　his　lap；　just　a　fall　of　long　pale　curls　and　paler　skin。　Gregory　was　naked　in　the　hot　summer　night；　and　until　that　moment　I　hadn't　noticed。　The　nudity　didn't　make　me　think　of　sex；　it　made　me　think　how　terribly　vulnerable　he　was。
　Stephen　looked　up　at　me　and　asked　with　every　line　of　his　body；　the　desperation　in　his　eyes；　what　he　was　too　submissive　to　say　out　loud。　I　didn't　need　to　be　telepathic　to　know　what　he　wanted。　Save　him；　save　my　brother；　he　screamed　at　me　from　his　eyes。　To　say　it　out　loud　would　have　been　redundant。
　Vivian；　who　was　as　fragile　as　Stephen；　as　submissive；　said　it　out　loud　anyway。　〃Please；　try　and　call　his　beast；　at　least　try　before　they　use　the　drugs。〃
　I　looked　at　her；　and　there　must　have　been　something　in　my　face　that　frightened　her；　because　she　dropped　to　her　knees　and　crawled　towards　me。　It　wasn't　that　graceful　stalk　that　the　leopards　could　do。　It　was　like　a　human　crawling；　awkward；　slow；　head　down；　eyes　rolled　up。　She　was　displaying　the　leopard　version　of　submissive　behavior；　and　I　hated　it。　Hated　her　feeling　the　need；　like　I　was　some　ogre　that　needed　placating；　but　I　let　her　do　it。　Richard　had　shown　me　what　happened　in　a　were…group　when　the　dominant　refused　to　be　dominant。
　She　leaned　against　my　legs；　pushing　her　body　against　me；　head　down。　Normally；　leopards　would　roll　around　my　legs　like　huge　cats；　but　tonight　Vivian　just　pressed　against　my　legs　more　like　a　frightened　dog　than　a　luxuriating　cat。　I　leaned　over　to　touch　her　hair　and　heard　her　murmuring　under　her　breath；　so　soft；　〃Please；　please；　please。〃　You　would　have　had　to　be　colder　than　even　I　was　to　ignore　that　soft　pleading。
　〃It's　okay；　Vivian；　I'll　try。〃
　Rubbing　her　cheek　along　my　jeans　as　she　raised　her　head；　her　eyes　rolled　up　to　me；　again　like　a　frightened　dog。　Vivian　had　always　been　timid　around　me；　but　I'd　never　seen　this　level　of　fear　before。　I　didn't　think　it　was　Gregory's　torture　that　had　made　the　difference。　I　think　it　was　the　fact　that　I'd　shot　Elizabeth　full　of　holes。　Yeah；　that　probably　did　it。　And　I　couldn't　undermine　the　lesson　by　reassuring　Vivian　now　that　I　wouldn't　shoot　her。　Merle　and　Caleb　were　listening；　and　if　we　were　really　going　to　bine　our　pards；　being　feared　was　not　a　bad　way　for　me　to　start。
　I　looked　across　the　deck　and　found　Merle　watching　me。　He　was　still　fully　dressed；　jeans；　boots；　jean　jacket　over　bare　chest；　the　scar　showing　like　a　flash　of　moonlit　lightning　across　his　stomach。　We　stared　at　each　other；　and　the　force　i