lh.narcissusinchains-第60部分

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a　to　me。
　〃You　saved　my　swanmanes；　Ms。　Blake。　You　nearly　got　yourself　killed　doing　it。　I　couldn't　risk　the　girls　ing；　they　are　not　。。。　〃　He　looked　down　at　his　folded　hands；　then　raised　those　changeable　eyes　to　me。　〃They　are　like　your　Nathaniel　　victims。〃
　〃Nathaniel　is　driving　my　Jeep　with　the　rest　of　my　people　in　it；〃　I　said。
　Reece　nodded。　〃Yes；　but　the　shape　of　his　beast　is　a　predator。　My　girls　are　not。　If　they　lost　control　and　changed　during　the　meeting；　they　would　be　meat。〃
　〃I　agree　with　you；　Mr。　Reece；　but　doesn't　the　same　logic　apply　to　you？〃
　〃I　am　a　swan　king；　Ms。　Blake；　I　will　not　change　shape　unless　I　will　it　so。〃
　Will　it　so。　I'd　never　heard　anyone　put　it　quite　that　way。　Donovan　Reece　had　a　bad　case　of　arrogance。　I　wasn't　going　to　talk　him　out　of　this。　Rafael　had　been　trying　to　before　I　arrived。　Micah　never　offered。　He'd　been　very　good　about　letting　me　do　all　the　talking。　I　liked　that　in　a　man。
　〃Can　you　fight？〃　I　asked。
　〃I　will　not　be　a　burden；　Ms。　Blake；　don't　worry。〃
　I　was　worried；　because　I　could　smell　the　blood　just　under　his　skin。　I　could　almost　see　it　flowing　under　his　flesh。　He　smelled　like　meat　and　blood；　and　heat。　He　smelled　like　food。　I'd　been　around　shapeshifters　that　were　prey　animals；　but　I'd　never　realized　you　could　tell　by　smell　what　wasn't　a　predator。　I　knew　by　the　gentle　scent　of　him　that　Reece's　beast　was　something　soft　and　easily　killed。　Something　that　would　struggle　but　not　hurt　me。　I　had　to　swallow　hard；　trying　to　slow　my　pulse；　but　it　would　not　slow。　I　wanted　to　drop　on　my　knees　in　front　of　him　and　sniff　his　skin；　rub　my　face　against　his　bare　arms　until　the　short　sleeves　of　his　button…up　shirt　stopped　me。　A　white　undershirt　peeked　out　the　top　of　the　blue　and　white　striped　shirt。　I　wanted　to　rip　the　shirt　open；　send　the　buttons　popping　through　the　air；　take　a　knife　from　my　wrist　sheath　and　slit　the　undershirt；　bare　his　naked　chest　and　stomach。　But　it　wasn't　the　ardeur；　it　wasn't　sex　I　was　thinking　about。　I　wanted　to　see　his　stomach　bare；　to　feel　the　soft　tissue　under　my　mouth；　my　teeth；　to　bite　into　。。。
　I　covered　my　eyes　with　my　hands；　and　shook　my　head。　What　was　wrong　with　me？
　Micah　touched　my　arm；　gently。　〃Anita；　what's　wrong？〃
　I　lowered　my　hands　and　looked　at　him。　〃He　smells　like　food。〃
　Micah　nodded。　〃Yes。〃
　I　shook　my　head　again。　〃You　don't　understand　what　I'm　thinking。　It's　。。。　frightening。〃　I　couldn't　say　it　out　loud。　I　wanted　to　feed　on　him；　or　at　least　sink　my　teeth　into　his　flesh。　I　think　I　could　keep　from　actually　feeding；　but　the　urge　to　mark　that　flawless　skin　was　so　strong　that　I　almost　didn't　trust　myself。
　〃When　you　told　me　why　you　marked　Nathaniel　I　knew　it　was　the　hunger。〃　Micah　said　the　last　word　like　it　should　have　been　in　capital　letters。　〃It　usually　takes　a　few　days；　or　weeks；　before　your　first　full　moon；　to　have　the　hunger　bee　a　problem。　It's　okay　to　have　thoughts；　images　in　your　head　about　feeding。　It's　normal。〃
　〃Normal。〃　I　laughed；　but　it　was　a　harsh　sound。　〃What　I'm　thinking　isn't　even　close　to　normal。〃　Again　I　couldn't　bring　myself　to　say　it　out　loud。
　〃What　do　you　want　to　do　to　Reece？〃　Rafael　asked。
　I　looked　across　the　seat　at　him。　I　opened　my　mouth　to　say；　then　glanced　at　Reece　and　stopped。　〃No；　it's　like　telling　a　sexual　fantasy　in　front　of　the　stranger　you　just　had　the　fantasy　about。　It　feels　that　intimate。〃
　〃It　is　that　intimate；〃　Rafael　said。
　I　looked　back　at　him；　and　his　dark　eyes　held　my　gaze。　〃If　you　tell　Mr。　Reece　what　you're　wanting　to　do　to　him；　then　maybe　he'll　fly　home。〃
　〃A　rat　is　a　prey　animal；　too；〃　Reece　said。
　〃Everything　that　is　smaller　is　a　prey　animal；〃　Rafael　said；　〃but　rats　are　omnivorous。　They　eat　anything　that　crosses　their　path；　including　humans；　if　they　can't　get　away。　A　wererat　is　not　a　small　thing；　Mr。　Reece；　we　are　large　enough　to　be　the　predators　that　our　namesakes　cannot　be。〃
　Reece　was　scowling　at　us　all　now。　He　shook　his　head　angrily　and　leaned　forward　and　shoved　his　wrist　into　my　face。　〃Get　a　good　whiff；　all　of　you　seem　to　like　it。〃
　〃I　wouldn't　do　that；　if　I　were　you；〃　Rafael　said。
　〃Listen　to　him；　Reece；〃　Micah　said。
　I　didn't　say　anything　because　the　scent　of　his　flesh　so　close　was　intoxicating。　It　was　like　the　most　exotic　perfume　spread　across　silk　sheets；　with　an　undertone　of　fresh　baked　bread　and　some　sweet　jelly　spread　over　flesh。　I　had　no　word　for　it；　but　it　smelled　better　than　anything　I'd　ever　smelled　in　my　life。
　I　was　holding　his　wrist；　pressing　the　thin　skin　against　my　lips；　before　I　realized　what　I　was　doing。　The　skin　was　so　tender；　and　I　could　smell　the　blood　under　that　paper…thin　layer　of　skin。　I　wanted　to　do　more　than　smell　it。　I　wanted　to　taste　it；　to　feel　his　flesh　give　under　my　teeth；　to　have　the　blood　gush　warm　in　my　mouth；　to　。。。　I　jerked　away　from　him　and　crawled　across　Micah；　across　the　seat　to　huddle　in　the　far　corner　as　far　away　from　the　swan　king　as　I　could　get　and　not　jump　out　the　door。
　There　must　have　been　something　on　my　face；　in　my　eyes　that　scared　him　because　his　eyes　widened；　his　full　mouth　opened　slightly。　〃My　God；　your　control　really　is　that　bad。〃
　I　managed　to　say；　〃Sorry。〃
　〃Do　you　really　want　to　put　yourself　in　the　midst　of　hundreds　of　us？〃　Rafael　asked。
　〃I　won't　be　bluffed；〃　Reece　said。　〃You　won't　hurt　me。　From　everything　I've　heard　about　Anita；　and　you；　Rafael；　you're　the　good　guys。〃　His　gaze　flicked　to　Micah。　〃Him；　I　don't　know；　but　I　do　know　that　the　swans　have　never　thrown　their　allegiance　to　anyone。　We've　been　autonomous。　The　fact　that　I'm　supporting　Anita　and　her　pard　will　mean　something　to　the　wolves。　We　are　weak　as　battle　allies；　but　that　any　animal　other　than　her　own　would　ally　with　her　pard　will　mean　something　to　their　Ulfric。〃
　I　huddled　on　the　far　corner　of　the　seat；　arms　hugging　my　legs　to　my　chest；　a　position　not　really　meant　to　be　performed　while　wearing　a　shoulder　holster。　But　I　was　literally　holding　on　to　myself；　hugging　my　control　and　my　body。　How　was　I　ever　going　to　get　through　tonight　without　doing　something　embarrassing；　or　deadly？　How　much　worse　was　my　control　going　to　get？
　〃Your　last　swan　king　answered　to　their　now…deceased　lupa；〃　Rafael　said。
　〃So　I've　heard。　Though　technically　he　was　a　swan　prince；　not　a　king。　I　don't　know　what　he　owed　the　old　lupa；　but　I'd　guess　it　was　something　blackmailable；　because　I've　found　some　Polaroids　that　would　make　you　blush。〃
　I　had　to　clear　my　throat　twice　before　I　could　talk。　〃Kaspar　refused　to　be　in　Raina's　dirty　movies；　but　the　price　for　that　was　that　he　helped　audition　people　for　the　films。〃
　Reece　looked　at　me。　〃Audition；　what　do　you　mean？〃
　I　huddled　and　talked；　but　I　was　talking　over　the　pulse　in　my　head；　the　rush　of　blood　in　my　body。　I　wanted　to　be　next　to　Reece。　I　wanted　to　take　a　bite。　Instead；　I　talked。　〃Kaspar　could　change　form　from　swan　to　man　at　will。　Raina　used　him　to　see　if　non…shapeshifters　freaked　when　he　changed　in　the　middle　of　sex。〃
　I　felt　Micah's　reaction　even　from　a　distance。　Reece　looked　horrified。　〃You　saw　this？〃
　〃No；　but　Raina　took　great　delight　in　telling　me　about　it　in　detail。　She　tried　to　get　me　to　watch　one　of　his　auditions；　but　I　had　better　things　to　do。〃
　〃He　did　this　willingly？〃　Reece　asked。
　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃It　was　most　definitely　not　his　choice。　He　seemed　to　hate　it。〃
　〃We　see　the　fact　that　we　can　change　forms　at　will　as　a　great　gift。　We're　one　of　the　few　shapeshifters　that　can　do　it　with　ease。〃
　〃Is　that　because　your　gift　is　either　a　curse　or　a　born　talent；　rather　than　a　disease？〃
　〃We　think　so；〃　he　said。
　〃Kaspar　was　under　a　curse；〃　I　said。
　〃Are　you　wondering　about　me？〃
　Actually　I　was　watching　the　way　his　Adam's　apple　bobbed　when　he　talked；　and　wondering　what　it　would　feel　like　to　fix　teeth　in　his　throat；　but　that　was　probably　a　fact　best　kept　to　myself。　I　kept　talking；　but　I　think　both　Micah　and　Rafael　knew　how　ragged　my　control　was。　I　hugged　myself　and　kept　talking；　because　silence　filled　with　awful　images；　terrible　desires。
　〃Yeah；　I'm　wondering；〃　I　said。
　〃I　was　born　a　swan　king。〃
　〃You　were　born　a　swan　king；　not　a　swanmane。　Does　that　mean　you're　male？　Is　swanmane　only　used　for　women？〃
　He　looked　at　me；　studying　my　face。　〃I　was　born　to　be　their　king。　I'm　the　first　king　in　over　a　century。〃
　〃Everybody　else　is　chosen　to　lead；　or　fights　for　the　right；　but　you　make　it　sound　like　a　hereditary　monarchy；〃　I　said。
　〃It　is；　but　it's　not　bloodlines　that　makes　the　difference；　though　being　a　swanmane　either　runs　in　your　family　or　it　doesn't。　But　I　didn't　inherit　the　title。〃
　〃Then　how　did　you　know？〃　I　asked。
　His　eyes　had　gotten　dark；　dark　gray　like　storm　clouds。　〃The　answer　to　that　is　somewhat　intimate。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；　I　didn't　know。〃
　〃I'll　give　you　the　answer　you　seek；　if　you　answer　a　rather　delicate　question　for　me。〃
　We　stared　at　each　other。　My　heart　rate　was　almost　normal　again。　I　could　look　at　him　without　smelling　the　blood　under　his　skin。　Talking；　listening；　doing　somewhat　normal　things　had　helped。　I　was　a　person；　with　speech　and　higher　functions；　not　an　animal。　I　could　do　this。　Really。　I　eased　out　of　my　little　ball；　slowly。
　〃Ask　and　I'll　let　you　know；〃　I　said。
　〃Did　you　kill　Kaspar　Gunderson；　the　last　swan　king？〃
　I　blinked　at　him。　That　was　unexpected。　The　sheer　surprise　made　my　p