lh.narcissusinchains-第59部分

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rm；　as　if　I　couldn't　quite　bear　to　let　go　of　him。
　〃Let　her　go；　boys。　She's　my　problem；　not　yours。〃
　They　looked　to　Micah；　who　nodded。　Elizabeth　stayed　on　her　knees；　as　if　uncertain　what　to　do。　She　tried　to　get　one　of　them　to　help　her　to　her　feet；　but　they　ignored　her　and　left　her　to　stand　on　her　own。
　I　took　time　to　put　my　bra　on　as　I　walked　back　to　my　Jeep；　the　shoulder　holster　still　flapping　around　my　waist。　I　slipped　it　over　my　naked　skin；　and　it　was　not　fortable；　but　I　didn't　want　to　take　the　time　to　put　my　shirt　on。　I　knew　what　I　was　going　to　do　now。
　I　walked　to　my　Jeep；　and　everyone　waited　in　the　dark　while　I　unlocked　the　door；　scooted　into　the　passenger　seat；　opened　my　glove　partment；　and　got　out　a　spare　clip　of　lead　bullets。　I'd　started　carrying　an　extra　clip　of　lead　bullets　in　the　Jeep　since　I　ran　afoul　of　a　few　rogue　fairies。　You　can　shoot　the　fey　with　silver　all　day　and　it　won't　do　much。　But　lead；　they　didn't　like　lead。　Lead　also　had　other　uses；　because　it　wouldn't　kill　a　wereanimal。　Only　silver　would　do　that。　I　walked　back　towards　them；　popping　out　the　clip　that　was　in　the　gun　as　I　moved。　I　put　the　clip　in　my　pocket；　though　it　didn't　fit　well；　and　shoved　the　new　clip　home　until　it　clicked。
　Elizabeth　finally　started　looking　worried　when　I　was　about　two　cars　away。　Anyone　else　would　probably　have　been　running；　but　mon　sense　wasn't　one　of　Elizabeth's　strong　suits。　I　had　actually　pointed　the　gun　at　her　while　I　very　calmly　walked　closer；　before　she　said；　〃You　wouldn't　dare。〃
　I　stared　down　the　barrel　of　the　gun　at　her；　and　I　felt　nothing。　It　was　a　big；　cold　empty　place　inside　me　　utterly　calm；　peaceful。　But　at　the　center　of　that　empty　peacefulness　was　a　tiny　kernel　of　satisfaction。　I'd　been　wanting　to　do　this　for　a　long　time。
　I　shot　her　twice　in　the　chest；　while　she　was　still　telling　me　I　wouldn't　shoot　her。　She　went　over　backwards；　spine　bowing；　hands　scrabbling　at　the　road；　legs　kicking　while　she　tried　to　breathe。
　Everyone　had　cleared　a　big　space　around　her。　I　stood　over　her　and　stared　down　while　she　tried　to　breathe；　and　her　heart　struggled　to　beat　around　the　hole　I'd　put　in　it。　〃You　keep　saying　I　can't　kill　you　like　a　real　Nimir…Ra　by　tearing　your　throat　out；　or　gutting　you。　Maybe　that's　going　to　change　soon　but　until　then　I　can　shoot　you；　and　you'll　be　just　as　dead。〃
　Her　eyes　rolled　desperately；　while　her　body　tried　to　cope　with　the　damage。　Blood　welled　out　of　her　mouth。
　〃This　time　it　wasn't　silver。　But　fail　me　again；　Elizabeth；　in　anything　large　or　small；　fail　any　member　of　this　pard；　and　I　will　kill　you。〃
　She'd　finally　gotten　enough　air　to　talk。　She　spat　out　blood　and　the　words；　〃Bitch；　you　don't　even　。。。　〃　more　blood；　〃have　the　guts　。。。　〃　dark　blood　from　her　mouth；　〃to　shoot　me　for　real。〃
　Staring　down　at　her；　I　realized　something　I　hadn't　before。　Elizabeth　wanted　me　to　kill　her。　She　wanted　me　to　send　her　to　wherever　Gabriel　was。　She　probably　didn't　realize　that's　what　she　wanted；　but　if　it　wasn't　a　death　wish；　it　was　close　enough。
　She　lay　there　and　healed；　and　cursed　me；　and　told　me　how　weak　I　was。　I　shot　her　in　the　chest　again。　She　writhed　and　jerked；　and　the　pool　of　blood　just　grew　wider　underneath　her　body。
　I　let　the　ammo　clip　fall　into　my　hand　from　the　gun；　put　it　in　my　other　pocket　and　got　my　main　clip　back　in　the　gun。　〃Silver　now；　Elizabeth。　Any　more　smart　remarks？〃　I　waited　until　she　had　healed　enough　to　talk。　〃Answer　me；　Elizabeth。〃
　She　stared　up　at　me；　and　there　was　something　in　her　eyes；　something　that　said　we　finally　had　an　understanding。　She　was　afraid　of　me；　and　sometimes　that's　the　best　you　can　do　with　people。　I'd　tried　kindness。　I'd　tried　friendship。　I'd　tried　respect。　But　when　all　else　fails；　fear　will　do　the　job。
　〃Good；　Elizabeth；　I'm　glad　we　understand　each　other。〃　I　turned　to　the　others。　They　were　staring　at　me　like　I'd　sprouted　a　second　head　　a　nasty　one。　Micah　held　out　my　clothes　to　me；　and　I　slipped　the　shoulder　holster　off　and　the　clothes　on。　No　one　said　anything　while　I　dressed。
　When　everything　was　back　in　place；　I　said；　〃Shall　we　go　to　the　house　now？
　Caleb　looked　positively　ill。　Micah　looked　pleased。　So　did　Merle；　and　Gina；　and　all　my　leopards。
　〃You　will　not　be　allowed　guns　tonight　in　the　lupanar；〃　Merle　said。
　〃That's　what　the　knives　are　for；〃　I　said。
　He　looked　at　me　as　if　he　wasn't　sure　whether　I　was　serious　or　not。
　〃Smile；　Merle；　she'll　heal。〃
　〃I'm　beginning　to　agree　with　what　the　wererats　said。〃
　〃And　what　was　that？〃
　〃That　you　were　scary　enough　all　on　your　own　without　being　Nimir…Ra。〃
　〃This　isn't　even　close　to　as　scary　as　I　get；〃　I　said。
　He　raised　his　eyebrows　at　me。　〃Really？〃
　It　was　Nathaniel　who　said；　〃Really。〃　My　other　cats　echoed　him；　nodding。
　〃Then　why　aren't　you　afraid　of　her？〃　Gina　asked。
　〃Because　she　doesn't　try　to　be　scary　to　us；〃　Zane　said。　He　looked　down　at　Elizabeth　on　the　ground；　still　unable　to　move　much。　〃Of　course；　maybe　the　rules　have　changed。〃
　〃Only　for　bad　little　leopards；〃　I　said；　〃Let's　get　to　the　rats　and　go　see　the　wolves。〃
　〃And　the　swans；〃　Micah　said。
　〃Swans？〃　I　asked。
　He　smiled。　〃You　just　keep　making　conquests；　Anita；　even　when　you　don't　mean　to　do　it。〃　He　held　his　hand　out　to　me。　I　hesitated；　then；　slowly；　I　took　it。　Our　fingers　interlaced；　and　we　walked　together　hand…in…hand　down　the　road；　and　it　felt　good；　and　right；　like　I'd　found　a　piece　of　myself　that　was　missing。　I　left　Zane　behind　to　make　sure　Elizabeth　didn't　get　run　over　by　a　car。　We'd　send　Dr。　Lillian　back　for　her。　The　rest　of　the　leopards　followed　behind　Micah　and　me；　and　for　the　first　time　since　I'd　inherited　the　cats；　I　felt　like　I　really　was　Nimir…Ra。　And　maybe；　just　maybe；　I　wouldn't　fail　them。
　
　21
　
　RAFAEL　THE　RAT　king　had　a　black　limo。　He'd　never　struck　me　as　a　limo　kind　of　guy；　and　I　said　as　much。　He　said；　〃Marcus　and　Raina　used　to　put　on　quite　a　show　for　things　like　this。　I　and　my　rats　are　not　willing　to　make　a　spectacle　of　ourselves；　so　the　limo。〃
　〃Hey；　I　wore　makeup；〃　I　said。　That　had　made　him　smile。
　We　were　riding　in　the　back　of　the　limo；　with　one　of　his　wererats　driving。　Merle　and　Zane　were　in　the　front　with　the　driver。　Merle；　because　he'd　objected　to　us　all　being　split　up　among　people　he　didn't　know；　and　Zane；　because　I　just　didn't　pletely　trust　Merle　yet。　Though　I　had　no　illusions　about　which　of　them　would　win　the　fight；　if　it　came　to　that。　Richard　had　a　werewolf　or　two　that　I　would　have　bet　on　against　Merle；　but　there　was　something　downright　scary　about　Micah's　head　bodyguard；　a　〃something〃　that　all　of　my　leopards　lacked。　Not　ruthlessness；　more　an　ultimate　practicality。　You　just　knew　Merle　would　do　whatever　needed　to　be　done；　no　hesitation；　no　sympathy；　just　business。　When　that's　pretty　much　how　you　operate　yourself；　you　begin　to　recognize　it　in　other　people；　and　you　watch　them　closely。
　All　the　leaders　got　to　ride　in　the　back　of　the　limo；　which　smacked　of　elitism　to　me；　but　it　did　allow　us　all　to　talk　together；　and　no　one　else　seemed　to　have　a　problem　with　it。　I　wasn't　sure　why　it　bugged　me；　but　it　did。
　Rafael　was　tall；　dark；　handsome；　and　strongly　Mexican。　He　spoke　with　no　trace　of　an　accent；　or　rather　he　sounded　like　he　was　from　Missouri。　He　sat　facing　us。　Yes；　us。　Micah　and　I　sat　across　from　him。　We　were　not　holding　hands。　We　were　not　casting　longing　glances　at　each　other。　In　fact；　strangely　once　I　was　away　from　the　other　leopards；　I　was　unfortable　around　him。　Maybe　it　was　my　usual　disfort　that　always　set　in　after　intimacy。　But　I　wasn't　sure；　it　felt　different。　Or　maybe　it　was　the　closer　we　got　to　seeing　Richard；　the　more　I　wondered　what　the　hell　I　was　doing。　Was　I　really　going　to　tell　Richard　that　I'd　taken　a　lover；　another　shapeshifter？　We'd　broken　up　before　and　gotten　back　together；　but　if　Richard　thought　I'd　taken　a　permanent　lover　besides　Jean…Claude；　it　was　over。　I　didn't　want　it　to　be　over；　though　part　of　me　wasn't　at　all　sure　that　dating　Richard　was　healthy　for　either　of　us。　We　weren't　really　good　for　each　other。　Love　is　like　that　sometimes。
　I　pushed　away　serious　thoughts　and　looked　at　the　last　member　of　our　little　party。　Donovan　Reece　was　the　new　swan　king　in　town。　He　was　about　six　feet　tall；　though　it　was　hard　to　tell　exactly　while　he　was　sitting　down。　His　skin　was　that　flawless　milk　and　cream　plexion　that　the　beauty　aids　promise　when　tan　is　out　for　a　year　or　two；　but　Donovan's　was　the　real　deal。　He　was　whiter　than　I　was；　as　white　as　Jean…Claude；　but　there　was　a　slight　pink　flush　to　Donovan's　cheeks；　like　perfectly　applied　blush。　You　could　almost　see　the　blood　flowing　under　his　skin；　as　if　it　were　nearly　translucent。　He　not　only　looked　alive；　but　very　alive；　as　if　he'd　be　hot　to　the　touch。
　His　eyes　were　a　pale　blue…gray　that　shifted　with　his　moods　like　a　summer　sky　that　couldn't　make　up　its　mind　whether　it　wanted　to　be　peaceful　with　fluffy　white　clouds　or　rain　all　over　your　head。　He　was　handsome　in　a　clean…cut；　preppy　sort　of　way；　as　if　he　should　have　been　on　a　college　campus　somewhere　pledging　to　a　frat　and　chugging　beers。　Instead　he　was　going　with　us　into　a　gathering　of　werewolves　where　he　would　be　the　only　nonpredator　there。　That　didn't　sound　like　a　good　idea　to　me。
　〃You　saved　my　swanmanes；　Ms。　Blake。　You　nearly　got　yourself　killed　doing　it。　I　couldn't