lh.narcissusinchains-第53部分

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ou　today；　if　you　had　been　in　the　mood　for　truth。　But　you　are　right；　this　we　must　have　clear　between　us。　I　would　simply　have　urged　you　to　keep　Nathaniel　close　at　hand　and　let　the　cards　fall　as　they　may；　but　if　you　insist　on　a　list；　then　I　will　give　it　to　you；　but　not　without　reasons。　Because　I　want　it　clear　that　I　do　not　share　you　lightly；　and　there　are　men　I　will　not　share　you　with　at　all。〃
　He　was　angry　now；　and　his　eyes　had　bled　to　sapphire　flame。　The　rest　of　his　body　was　very　still；　but　the　eyes　gave　it　all　away。　He　was　in　the　grip　of　some　strong　emotion；　probably　anger；　but　I　wasn't　sure。　And　he　was　shielding　like　a　son　of　a　bitch；　so　something　he　was　feeling；　or　thinking；　he　didn't　want　me　to　share。
　〃Asher　is　acceptable。〃
　He　didn't　give　the　reasons　for　that　one；　and　I　didn't　ask；　because　there　were　too　many　of　them；　most　of　them　painful。
　〃If　Richard　es　to　his　senses；　then　of　course。〃　He　smoothed　his　hands　down　the　front　of　his　robe；　he　often　checked　his　clothes　when　he　was　nervous。　〃The　Nimir…Raj　will　have　to　be　acceptable；　because　he　calls　to　you。　Richard's　beast　calls　to　you　through　my　marks；　my　ties　to　him；　to　it；　but　the　Nimir…Raj；　he　calls　to　you；　Anita。〃　My　real　name　again。　He　was　not　happy。　〃He　calls　to　something　in　you；　in　your　power。　It　may　be　that　you　are　truly　Nimir…Ra；　and　the　full　moon　will　see　it　true。　Or　it　may　be　that；　as　with　Nathaniel；　you　have　found　your　animal　to　call。　If　you　are　drawn　more　strongly　to　all　the　leopards；　then　it　could　be　for　either　reason。　Be　wary　if　the　leopards　are　yours　to　call。　It　may　not　merely　be　Nathaniel　and　the　Nimir…Raj　that　beckon。〃
　〃Please；　don't　tell　me　that　I'm　going　to　turn　into　slut…girl。〃
　He　smiled。　〃I　do　not　think　you　need　to　fear　that。　You　are　stronger　willed　than　that。〃
　〃You　just　said　I　might　be　tempted　by　the　other　wereleopards。〃
　〃If　the　Nimir…Raj　or　Nathaniel　are　not　near　you　when　the　ardeur　rises；　then　my　advice　is　to　give　in　to　it　instantly。〃
　I　gave　him　wide　eyes。
　〃If　you　fight　it；　ma　petite；　it　grows。　If　it　grows　large　enough；　then　you　may　indeed　turn　into　slut…girl。　If　you　give　in　and　feed　immediately；　then　you　will　have　sex　with　one　person；　not　several；　and　it　will　be　more　a　person　of　your　choosing。〃
　〃So　the　real　advice　is；　keep　the　men　I　prefer　within　easy　reach。〃
　〃I　would　make　Nathaniel；　or　someone　of　your　choosing；　your　constant　panion。〃
　I　swallowed　hard　and　searched　his　face；　but　it　was　pleasantly　blank　　his　expression　when　he　didn't　want　me　to　know　what　he　was　thinking。　His　eyes　had　bled　back　to　normal。
　Something　occurred　to　me。　〃I　haven't　seen　Damian　around。〃
　〃I　speak　of　sex；　and　you　think　of　Damian。〃　His　voice　was　still　pleasant　but　the　words　held　something　harsh。
　〃You　give　me　this　list　of　people　to　sleep　with；　and　not　to　sleep　with；　but　you　leave　him　off　either　list。　And　he　wasn't　at　the　club；　and　he　didn't　e　to　the　bedroom；　attracted　by　the　power　like　Asher。　Where　is　he？〃
　Jean…Claude　rubbed　his　hands　over　his　face。　〃I　was　going　to　tell　you；　then　you　decided　you　wanted　no　more　hard　truths　today。〃　He　lowered　his　hands　and　looked　at　me。
　〃He's　alive；　I'd　know　it　if　he　wasn't。〃
　〃Yes；　I　believe　you　would。　There　was　a　time　when　my　first　master　made　my　heart　beat。　Her　power　suffused　me；　made　me　live。　But　her　power　came　from　her　Master　of　the　City；　so　it　was　in　reality　his　power　that　filled　me。　Each　master　vampire　that　I　belonged　to　demanded　blood　oaths；　and　each　one　in　turn　made　my　blood　course；　my　heart　move。　Then　Belle；　herself；　the　head　of　my　line；　brought　me　in；　and　she　filled　me。　She　was　like　the　pounding　of　the　ocean；　and　all　others　before　her　were　but　rivers　seeking　to　drown　in　her　embrace。　Gradually；　I　filled　with　my　own　power。　But　even　now　it　is　her　lineage　that　makes　me　live。　The　power　that　made　her　is　what　keeps　me　alive。　Damian　is　descended　from　her　line；　not　from　Belle　herself；　but　from　one　of　her　children；　as　I　am。　I　am　Master　of　the　City　and　the　power　that　animates　me；　animates　Damian。　When　he　took　the　oaths　that　bound　him　to　me；　that　made　him　loyal　to　me；　it　became　my　power　that　filled　him；　my　power　that　made　his　heart　beat。　And　I　broke　the　tie　with　She　who　made　him。〃
　〃You　make　all　the　vampires　under　you　alive？〃　I　made　it　a　question。
　〃The　power　es　through　me；　yes；　but　only　if　they　are　of　my　line；　my　lineage。　If　they　are　descended　from　other　than　Belle's　children；　then　no；　the　blood　oaths　do　not　bind　as　tightly。〃
　〃What　about　Asher？　You　don't　make　his　heart　beat。〃
　He　nodded。　〃Very　good；　ma　petite。　No；　I　do　not。　A　Master　Vampire　is　a　vampire　that　has　bee　enough　of　a　power　that　they　fill　themselves　up。　It　is　one　of　the　things　that　being　a　master　means；　and　one　of　the　reasons　that　many　of　the　older　vampire　masters　still　kill　their　children　when　they　feel　that　tie　break。〃
　〃You're　volunteering　an　awful　lot　of　information；　and　don't　think　I'm　not　grateful；　it's　fascinating；　but　what　does　this　all　have　to　do　with　Damian？〃
　〃You　have　raised　Damian　from　his　coffin　once；　filling　him　with　your　necromancy　like　a　zombie。　You　have　saved　his　life　twice　with　your　necromancy。　You　have　forged　a　tie　between　him　and　you。〃
　Actually；　I　knew　that；　but　out　loud　I　said；　〃He　said　that　he　couldn't　tell　me　no　if　I　gave　him　a　direct　order。　That　he　wanted　to　serve　me。　It　scared　him。〃
　〃It　should　have。〃
　〃I　didn't　mean　to　do　it；　Jean…Claude。　I　didn't　even　know　it　was　possible。〃
　〃Legends　speak　of　necromancers　that　could　control　all　types　of　undead；　not　merely　zombies。　It　was　at　one　time　Council　policy　to　slay　all　necromancers　on　sight。〃
　〃Gee；　glad　the　policy　changed。〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said。　〃But　you　severed　my　tie　with　Damian。　I　did　not　realize　it　at　first；　but　when　he　returned　from　Tennessee；　it　was　not　my　power　that　made　his　heart　beat；　it　was　yours。〃
　I　remembered　feeling　that　in　Tennessee；　feeling　the　tie　between　us。　〃It　wasn't　done　deliberately；〃　I　said。
　〃I　know　that；　but　you　left　me　with　a　problem　when　you　went　away　for　over　half　a　year。　Damian　is　over　a　thousand　years　old。　Though　not　a　Master　Vampire；　he　is　still　powerful。　He　no　longer　had　ties　to　any　vampire　hierarchy。　It　freed　him　of　all　blood　oaths；　of　all　mystically　bound　loyalties。　He　was　yours；　but　you　did　not　e　to　claim　him。〃
　〃You　should　have　told　me。〃
　〃And　what　would　you　have　done？　Taken　him　home　to　live　in　your　basement？　You　did　not　have　the　power　or　control　six　months　ago　to　deal　with　him。〃
　〃Now　I　do。　Is　that　what　you're　saying？〃
　〃You　cast　out　Belle　Morte。　One　of　the　most　powerful　of　the　Council。　If　you　can　do　that；　ma　petite；　then　you　can　handle　Damian。〃
　〃This　is　all　great；　but　where　is　Damian？〃
　〃I　could　no　longer　count　on　his　loyalty。　I　no　longer　controlled　him；　do　you　understand；　ma　petite？　I　had　a　vampire　that　was　more　than　twice　my　age；　and　could　not　control　him。　It　both　made　me　look　weak　in　others'　eyes　when　I　could　not　afford　to　appear　weak；　and　it　was　dangerous；　because　he　knew　when　you　healed　over　your　aura　and　shielded　so　tight。　It　wasn't　only　Richard　and　me　who　felt　the　loss　of　you。　You　cut　Damian　off；　and　he　went　a　little　。。。　mad。〃
　I　was　scared　now；　my　heart　beginning　to　climb　up　my　throat。　〃Where　is　Damian？〃
　〃First；　ma　petite；　understand　that　you　cannot　take　him　with　you　tonight　because　to　tend　him　will　be　a　full…time　job　for　the　first　few　hours。〃
　〃Just　tell　me；〃　I　said。
　〃I　had　to　lock　him　away；　ma　petite。''
　I　stared　at　him。　〃Lock　him　away；　how？〃
　He　just　looked　at　me；　and　it　was　eloquent。
　〃He's　been　locked　in　a　cross…wrapped　coffin　for　six　months？〃
　〃About　that；　yes。〃
　〃You　bastard。〃
　〃I　could　have　killed　him；　ma　petite；　that's　what　others　would　have　done。〃
　〃Why　didn't　you？〃
　〃Because　it　was　partially　my　fault　for　exposing　him　to　you。　Damian　was　mine　to　protect；　and　I　failed　him。〃
　〃He's　mine；　mine　to　protect；〃　I　said。
　〃Yet；　you　deserted　him。〃
　〃I　didn't　know。　You　should　have　told　me。〃
　〃And　six　months　ago　would　you　have　believed　me？　Or　would　you　have　thought　it　was　some　ploy　to　get　you　back　into　my　life？〃
　I　started　to　tell　him；　of　course　I'd　have　believed　him；　but　I　stopped　and　thought　about　it。　〃I　don't　know　if　I'd　have　believed　you　or　not。〃
　〃I　hoped　that　I　would　find　a　way　to　reestablish　my　dominance　over　him；　but　he　is　closed　to　me。〃
　I　swallowed　hard　and　looked　at　him。　〃If　he's　mine；　then　why　didn't　I　feel　him　when　my　shielding　broke　all　to　hell　in　New　Mexico？〃
　〃I　have　been　blocking　you　from　sensing　him；　and　it　has　not　been　easy。〃
　I　closed　my　eyes　and　counted　to　ten；　but　it　didn't　help。　I　was　so　angry　my　skin　felt　hot。　〃You　had　no　right　to　do　that。〃
　〃Without　the　marks　being　married；　I　think　Damian　would　have　seduced　you。　Because　you　would　have　been　drawn　to　him　as　you　are　drawn　to　Nathaniel　now；　or　perhaps　even　the　Nimir…Raj。〃
　〃I　would　not　have　fucked　Damian　without　the　ardeur　helping　me；　and　I　didn't　have　that　six　months　ago。〃
　〃You　may　have　your　vampire　back　tomorrow　night。　I　will　help　you　nurse　him　back　to　health。〃
　〃I'm　ing　back　tonight　to　get　him。〃
　〃Talk　to　Asher；　ma　petite。　Ask　him　what　it　will　take　to　nurse　a　vampire　back　from　six　months　in　the　coffin。　Damian　is　not　a　master；　he　has　had　no　ability　to　feed　or　gain　energy。　He　will　e　out　of　the　coffin　a　starved；　crazed　thing。　There　will　be　very　little　left　of　him；　at　first。〃　He　wa