lh.narcissusinchains-第30部分

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e　all　the　way　back。　〃I'll　go　help　Cherry　then。〃　He　paused　at　the　doorway。　〃I'm　really　glad　you　didn't　die。〃
　〃Me　too。〃
　He　grinned　and　left。
　That　left　me　alone　with　Micah。　I　looked　into　his　yellow…green　eyes　and　knew　that　they　were　also　a　sign　that　he'd　spent　too　much　time　in　animal　form。　We　hadn't　kissed；　so　I　didn't　know　if　he　had　dainty　fangs　like　Zane。　I　hoped　not；　and　wasn't　sure　why　I　cared。
　〃Do　you　mind　if　I　start　cleaning　up？〃　he　asked。
　I　shook　my　head。　〃Help　yourself。　I'm　going　to　go　look　for　my　clothes。〃　But　Nathaniel　came　around　the　door　with　my　cell　phone。
　I　looked　at　the　slim　black　phone。　I'd　only　had　it　a　few　months。　I'd　tried　not　to　buy　one。　If　you　had　a　cell　phone　and　a　beeper　you　were　never　truly　free　of　the　office。　Of　course；　I　was　on　vacation。　Though；　so　far；　it　hadn't　been　all　that　relaxing。
　I　popped　the　phone　open　and　dialed　Richard's　number　from　memory。　There　was　no　answer；　just　his　machine。　I　left　a　message；　then　knew　what　I　was　going　to　do。　I　had　to　know　what　was　happening　with　Gregory。　I　thought　about　Richard；　the　feel　of　his　arms；　the　scent　of　his　neck；　the　brush　of　his　hair；　and　that　prickling　rush　of　energy　rolled　over　my　skin。　I　reached　down　the　mark　that　bound　me　to　Richard　and　found　him　standing　on　a　podium。　He　was　arguing　with　someone；　but　I　couldn't　see　who。　I　never　got　as　clear　a　visual　through　Richard　as　I　did　through　Jean…Claude。　Richard　turned　as　if　he　could　see　me　standing　behind　him；　then　he　thrust　me　out；　throwing　up　a　shield　so　solid　I　couldn't　feel　him　on　the　other　side。
　Nathaniel　was　holding　my　arm；　steadying　me。　〃Are　you　alright？〃
　I　nodded。　Being　thrust　out　like　that　was　always　disorienting。　Richard　knew　that。　Fuck。　〃I'm　okay。〃　I　pulled　away　from　Nathaniel　and　had　to　call　information　for　the　number　for　The　Lunatic　Cafe。　Richard　was　in　the　meeting　room　in　the　back　of　the　restaurant。　Raina　had　owned　the　restaurant；　and　according　to　pack　law；　it　could　have　belonged　to　me；　if　I　hadn't　used　a　gun　to　kill　her。　It　had　to　be　mano…a…mano；　hand…to…hand；　or　claws；　or　at　least　a　knife　before　all　that　was　hers　would　be　mine。　Possessions　anyway。　You　can't　get　anyone's　power　by　killing　them。　It　just　doesn't　work　that　way。　And　anyway；　who　would　want　it　to？　Guns　were　considered　cheating；　so　I　didn't　inherit　all　of　Raina's　stuff。
　Richard　picked　up　on　the　second　ring；　as　if　he'd　been　expecting　the　call。　〃Richard；　it's　Anita。〃
　〃I　know。〃　His　voice　was　angry；　closed；　and　tight。
　〃We　need　to　talk。〃
　〃I'm　in　the　middle　of　something　here；　Anita。〃
　Fine；　if　he　wanted　to　play　it　brusque　and　hostile；　I'd　play。　〃Where's　Gregory？〃
　〃I　can't　tell　you　that。〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃Because；　you　might　try　and　rescue　him；　and　you're　not　lupa　anymore。　The　pack　would　defend　itself；　and　I　don't　want　you　shooting　holes　in　my　wolves。〃
　〃You　leave　my　leopards　alone；　and　I'll　leave　your　wolves　alone。〃
　〃Anita；　it's　not　that　simple。〃
　〃I　got　the　explanation；　Richard。　You　freaked　when　you　found　out　Gregory　may　have　infected　me　with　leopard　juice。　You　had　your　enforcers　grab　him；　and　you've　charged　him　with　killing　your　lupa。　Which　is　just　stupid；　I'm　not　dead。〃
　〃Do　you　know　what　the　pack　is　voting　on　right　now；　right　this　minute？〃
　〃Not　a　clue。〃
　〃Whether　I　will　be　picking　another　lupa　from　the　pack　before　the　next　full　moon。〃
　〃I　guess　you'll　need　one；〃　I　said；　and　even　hearing　myself　acknowledge　it　made　my　stomach　clench。
　〃A　lover；　Anita；　they're　wanting　to　force　me　to　pick　a　lover　from　the　pack。〃
　〃You　mean　we　can't　date　now？〃
　〃That's　the　vote。〃
　〃Stephen；　one　of　your　wolves；　and　Vivian；　one　of　my　leopards；　are　living　together。　No　one　seems　to　care　about　that。〃
　〃Stephen　is　one　of　the　least　of　us。　They　wouldn't　tolerate　cross…species　dating　for　a　dominant。　And　they　certainly　won't　tolerate　it　for　their　Ulfric。〃
　〃Human　is　good　enough　to　fuck；　but　not　leopard；〃　I　said。
　〃We　are　human；　Anita。　But　we　aren't　cats；　we're　wolves。〃
　〃So　you　won't　be　dating　me；　or　anything；　now？〃
　〃Not　if　I　want　to　stay　Ulfric。〃
　〃What　happens　to　the　triumvirate？〃
　〃I　don't　know。〃
　〃You're　going　to　give　me　up　just　like　that。〃　I　was　suddenly　cold；　my　stomach　like　a　hard　frozen　knot。
　〃You've　been　out　of　my　life　for　over　half　a　year。　How　do　I　know　that　something　else　won't　scare　you　off　again？〃
　〃I　planned　on　dating　you　both；　Richard；　on　being　with　you　both。〃　I　realized　as　soon　as　I　said　it　that　I　meant　it。　I'd　made　a　decision　and　hadn't　realized　it。
　〃What　about　a　week　from　now；　or　a　month；　or　even　a　year？　What　will　scare　you　off　next　time？〃
　〃I　don't　plan　on　running　anymore；　Richard。〃
　〃Nice　to　know。〃　I　could　feel　his　anger　like　something　hot　and　touchable　over　the　phone。　Either　his　shield　was　leaking；　or　he'd　lowered　it。
　〃You　don't　want　to　be　with　me　anymore？〃　My　voice　was　soft；　hurt；　and　I　hated　it。　Hated　it。
　〃I　want　to　be　with　you；　you　know　that。　You　drive　me　crazy；　but　I　still　want　you。〃
　〃But　you'll　still　give　me　up；〃　I　said。　My　voice　was　a　little　stronger；　but　not　much。　Richard　was　dumping　me。　Fine；　it　was　his　prerogative。　I　was　a　pain　in　the　ass；　I　knew　that。　But　my　chest　ached　with　it；　damn　it。
　〃I　don't　want　to；　Anita；　but　I'll　do　what　I　have　to　do。　You　taught　me　that。〃
　My　eyes　were　hot。　I'd　taught　him　that。　Great。　If　we　were　really　going　to　break　up　for　good；　then　I　would　not　cry　or　beg。　I　would　not　be　weak。　My　voice　came　out　more　solid；　more　sure　of　itself。　My　stomach　was　still　in　cold　knots；　but　it　didn't　show　in　my　voice。　The　effort　that　it　took　to　just　sound　normal　over　the　phone　made　my　chest　tight。　〃You're　Ulfric；　wolf　king。　Your　word　is　law　in　the　pack。〃
　〃I've　worked　hard　to　make　sure　that　everyone　has　an　equal　voice；　Anita。　I　can't　pull　rank　now。　It　would　undo　everything　I've　tried　to　change。〃
　〃Ideals　are　great　in　theory；　Richard；　but　they　don't　work　too　well　in　real　life。〃
　〃I　disagree；〃　he　said。　His　anger　was　already　leaking　away。　He　just　sounded　tired。
　〃I'm　not　going　to　argue　things　we've　been　arguing　since　we　met。　I'm　going　to　concentrate　on　the　things　I　can　change。　And　no　matter　how　much　we　want　to；　we　can't　change　each　other；　Richard。　We　are　what　we　are。〃　My　voice　was　uncertain　again；　full　of　some　of　the　emotion　I　was　feeling。　〃So；　is　Gregory　okay？〃
　〃He's　okay。〃
　〃I　want　him　back；　you　know　that。〃
　〃I　know　that。〃　His　anger　was　making　a　eback。
　〃Now　that　I'm　not　lupa；　not　pack；　how　do　I　get　him　back？〃
　〃You　have　to　e　to　the　lupanar　tomorrow　night　and　petition　for　him。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean；　'petition　for　him？'　〃
　〃You　have　to　prove　yourself　worthy。　There'll　be　some　kind　of　test。〃
　〃Like　multiple　choice；　essay；　what？〃
　〃I　don't　know　yet。　We're　。。。　voting　on　it。〃
　〃Fuck；　Richard；　there's　a　reason　why　we　have　a　representative　democracy　in　this　country；　not　a　pure　one。　Pure　one　person；　one　vote；　just　doesn't　work　well。　You　can't　decide　anything　that　way。〃
　〃They're　deciding；　Anita。　You're　just　not　liking　the　way　it's　going。〃
　〃How　could　you　take　Gregory？　How　could　you　do　that？〃
　〃As　soon　as　I　realized　what　had　happened；　I　knew　that　the　pack　would　vote　you　out。　Most　of　them　weren't　happy　with　you　even　before。　You　weren't　pack；　and　they　didn't　like　that。　The　fact　that　you've　avoided　them　　all　of　them　　for　six　months　didn't　help。〃
　〃I　had　to　get　my　shit　together　before　I　could　e　back；　Richard。〃
　〃And　while　you　were　getting　your　shit　together；　mine　was　falling　apart。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；　Richard；　I　am。　But　I　didn't　know。〃
　〃Tomorrow　night　at　the　lupanar；　about　an　hour　after　dark。　You　can　bring　all　your　wereleopards　and　any　other　shapeshifters　that　are　your　allies。　If　it　were　me；　as　Ulfric；　I'd　bring　the　wererats。〃
　〃I'm　not　lupa　anymore；　so　they　aren't　my　allies；　are　they？〃
　〃No；〃　he　said；　and　the　anger　was　gone　again。　Richard　never　could　hold　a　grudge　for　long。
　〃What　happens　if　I　don't　win　Gregory　back？〃
　He　didn't　answer　me；　just　the　sound　of　his　breathing　on　the　phone。　〃Richard；　what　happens　to　Gregory？〃
　〃He'll　be　judged　by　the　pack。〃
　〃And？〃
　〃If　he's　convicted　of　killing　our　lupa；　it's　a　death　sentence。〃
　〃But　I'm　right　here；　Richard。　I'm　not　dead。　You　can't　kill　Gregory　for　killing　me；　when　he　didn't　do　it。〃
　〃I　delayed　the　judgment　until　you　were　well　enough　to　attend。　It　was　the　best　I　could　do。〃
　〃You　know；　Richard；　sometimes　it's　good　to　be　king。　A　king　gets　to　pardon　whomever　he　wants；　a　king　gets　to　fuck　whomever　he　wants。〃
　〃I　know　that。〃
　〃Then　be　king；　Richard；　really　be　king。　Be　their　Ulfric；　not　their　president。〃
　〃I'm　doing　what　I　think　best　for　them　all。〃
　〃Richard；　you　can't　do　this。〃
　〃It's　already　done。〃
　〃Richard；　if　I　fail　your　little　test；　I　will　not　let　you　execute　Gregory。　Do　you　understand　me？〃
　〃You　won't　be　allowed　to　bring　guns　into　the　lupanar；　just　knives。〃　His　voice　had　gone　very　careful。
　〃I　remember　the　rule。　But　Richard；　are　you　listening　to　me？　Are　you　understanding　me？〃
　〃If　we　try　to　execute　Gregory　tomorrow　night；　you'll　fight　us；　I　understand。　But　understand　this；　Anita；　your　leopards　are　no　match　for　us；　not　even　with　Micah　and　his　pard。　We　outnumber　you　five　to　one；　maybe　more。〃
　〃It　doesn't　matter；　Richard。　I　can't　stand　by　and　watch　Gregory　die；　not　for　something　stupid　like　this。〃
　〃Will　you　try　to　save　one　of　your　cats　and　risk