lh.narcissusinchains-第2部分

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ght　of　when　I　thought　of　Richard　and　Jean…Claude　was　to　go　back　on　birth　control　tells　you　something　about　the　effect　they　had　on　me。
　You　needed　to　be　on　the　pill　for　at　least　a　month　to　be　safe；　or　as　safe　as　you　ever　got。　Four　more　weeks；　five　to　be　sure；　then　I'd　call。　Maybe。
　I　heard　Ronnie's　heels　running　on　the　gravel。　〃Anita；　Anita；　wait；　don't　be　angry。〃
　The　thing　was；　I　wasn't　angry　with　her。　I　was　angry　with　me。　Angry　that　after　all　these　months　I　still　couldn't　decide　between　the　two　men。　I　stopped　walking　and　waited　for　her；　huddled　in　my　little　black　skirt　outfit；　the　little　foil　swan　in　my　hands。　The　night　had　turned　cool　enough　to　make　me　wish　I'd　worn　a　jacket。　When　Ronnie　caught　up　with　me　I　started　walking　again。
　〃I'm　not　mad；　Ronnie；　just　tired。　Tired　of　you；　my　family；　Dolph；　Zerbrowski；　everyone　being　so　damned　judgmental。〃　My　heels　hit　the　sidewalk　with　sharp　clacks。　Jean…Claude　had　once　said　he　could　tell　if　I　was　angry　just　by　the　sound　of　my　heels　on　the　floor。　〃Watch　your　step。　You're　wearing　higher　heels　than　I　am。〃　Ronnie　was　five　feet　eight；　which　meant　with　heels　she　was　nearly　six　feet。
　I　was　wearing　two…inch　heels；　which　put　me　at　five　five。　I　get　a　much　better　workout　when　Ronnie　and　I　jog　together　than　she　does。
　The　phone　was　ringing　as　I　juggled　the　key　and　the　foil…wrapped　leftovers。　Ronnie　took　the　leftovers；　and　I　shoved　the　door　open　with　my　shoulder。　I　was　running　across　the　floor　in　my　high　heels　before　I　remembered　that　I　was　on　vacation。　Which　meant　whatever　emergency　was　calling　at　2：05　in　the　morning　was　not　my　problem；　not　for　another　two　weeks　at　least。　But　old　habits　die　hard；　and　I　was　at　the　phone　before　I　remembered。　I　actually　let　the　machine　pick　up　while　I　stood　there；　heart　pounding。　I　was　planning　on　ignoring　it；　but　。。。　but　I　still　stood　ready　to　grab　the　receiver　just　in　case。
　Loud；　booming　music；　and　a　man's　voice。　I　didn't　recognize　the　music；　but　I　recognized　the　voice。　〃Anita；　it's　Gregory。　Nathaniel's　in　trouble。〃
　Gregory　was　one　of　the　wereleopards　I'd　inherited　when　I　killed　their　alpha；　their　leader。　As　a　human；　I　wasn't　really　up　to　the　job；　but　until　I　found　a　replacement；　even　I　was　better　than　nothing。　Wereanimals　without　a　dominant　to　protect　them　were　anyone's　meat；　and　if　someone　moved　in　and　slaughtered　them；　it　would　sort　of　be　my　fault。　So　I　acted　as　their　protector；　but　the　job　was　more　plicated　than　I'd　ever　dreamed。　Nathaniel　was　the　problem。　All　the　others　were　rebuilding　their　lives　since　their　old　leader　had　been　killed；　but　not　Nathaniel。　He'd　had　a　hard　life：　abused；　raped；　pimped　out；　and　topped。　Topped　meant　he'd　been　someone's　slave　　as　in　sex　and　pain。　He　was　one　of　the　few　true　submissives　I'd　ever　met；　though；　admittedly；　my　pool　of　acquaintance　was　limited。
　I　cursed　softly　and　picked　up　the　phone。　〃I'm　here；　Gregory；　what's　happened　now？〃　Even　to　me；　my　voice　sounded　tired　and　half…angry。
　〃If　I　had　anyone　else　to　call；　Anita；　I'd　call　them；　but　you're　it。〃　He　sounded　tired　and　angry；　too。　Great。
　〃Where's　Elizabeth？　She　was　supposed　to　be　riding　herd　on　Nathaniel　tonight。〃　I'd　finally　agreed　that　Nathaniel　could　start　going　out　to　the　dominance　and　submission　clubs　if　he　was　acpanied　by　Elizabeth　and　at　least　one　other　wereleopard。　Tonight　it　had　been　Gregory　riding　shotgun；　but　without　Elizabeth；　Gregory　wasn't　dominant　enough　to　keep　Nathaniel　safe。　A　normal　submissive　would　have　been　safe　in　one　of　the　clubs　with　someone　there　to　simply　say；　〃no　thanks；　we'll　pass。〃　But　Nathaniel　was　one　of　those　rare　subs　who　are　almost　incapable　of　saying　no；　and　there　had　been　hints　made　that　his　idea　of　pain　and　sex　could　be　very　extreme。　Which　meant　that　he　might　say　yes　to　things　that　were　very；　very　bad　for　him。　Wereanimals　can　take　a　lot　of　injury　and　not　be　permanently　damaged；　but　there　is　a　limit。　A　healthy　bottom　will　say　stop　when　he's　had　too　much　or　he　feels　something　bad　happening；　but　Nathaniel　wasn't　that　healthy。　So　he　had　keepers　with　him　to　make　sure　no　one　really　bad　got　ahold　of　him。　But　it　was　more　than　that。　A　good　dominant　trusts　his　sub　to　say　when　before　the　damage　is　too　great。　The　dom　trusts　the　sub　to　know　his　own　body　and　have　enough　self…preservation　to　call　out　before　he　is　in　past　what　his　body　can　take。　Nathaniel　did　not　e　with　that　safety　feature；　which　meant　a　dominant　with　the　best　of　intentions　could　end　up　hurting　him　badly　before　realizing　Nathaniel　wouldn't　help　himself。
　I　actually　had　acpanied　Nathaniel　a　few　times。　As　his　Nimir…ra　it　was　sort　of　my　job　to　interview　prospective　。。。　keepers。　I'd　gone　prepared　for　the　clubs　to　be　one　of　the　lower　circles　of　hell　and　had　been　pleasantly　shocked。　I'd　had　more　trouble　with　sexual　propositions　in　a　normal　bar　on　a　Saturday　night。　In　the　clubs　everyone　was　very　careful　not　to　impose　on　you　or　to　be　seen　as　pushy。　It　was　a　small　munity；　and　if　you　got　a　reputation　for　being　obnoxious；　you　could　find　yourself　blacklisted；　with　no　one　to　play　with。　I'd　found　the　people　in　the　scene　were　polite；　and　once　you　made　it　clear　you　were　not　there　to　play；　no　one　bothered　you；　except　tourists。　Tourists　were　posers；　people　not　really　into　the　scene；　who　liked　to　dress　up　and　frequent　the　clubs。　They　didn't　know　the　rules；　and　hadn't　bothered　to　ask。　They　probably　thought　a　woman　who　would　e　to　a　place　like　this　would　do　anything。　I'd　persuaded　them　differently。　But　I'd　had　to　stop　going　with　Nathaniel。　The　other　wereleopards　said　I　gave　off　so　much　dominant　vibe　that　no　dominant　would　ever　approach　Nathaniel　while　I　was　with　him。　Though　we'd　had　offers　for　ménages　à　trois　of　every　description。　I　felt　like　I　needed　a　button　that　said；　〃No；　I　don't　want　to　have　a　bondage　three…way　with　you；　thanks　for　asking；　though。〃
　Elizabeth　had　supposedly　been　dominant；　but　not　too　much　to　take　Nathaniel　out　and　try　to　pick　him　up　a　。。。　date。
　〃Elizabeth　left；〃　Gregory　said。
　〃Without　Nathaniel？〃　I　made　it　a　question。
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Well；　that　just　fries　my　bacon；〃　I　said。
　〃What？〃　he　asked。
　〃I'm　angry　with　Elizabeth。〃
　〃It　gets　better；〃　he　said。
　〃How　much　better　can　it　be；　Gregory？　You　all　assured　me　that　these　clubs　were　safe。　A　little　bondage；　a　little　light　slap　and　tickle。　You　all　convinced　me　that　I　couldn't　keep　Nathaniel　away　from　it　indefinitely。　You　said　that　they　had　ways　to　monitor　the　area　so　no　one　could　possibly　get　hurt。　That's　what　you　and　Zane　and　Cherry　told　me。　Hell；　I've　seen　it　myself。　There　are　safety　monitors　everywhere；　it's　safer　than　some　dates　I've　had；　so　what　could　have　possibly　gone　wrong？〃
　〃We　couldn't　have　anticipated　this；〃　he　said。
　〃Just　get　to　the　end　of　the　story；　Gregory；　the　foreplay　is　getting　tedious。〃
　There　was　silence　for　longer　than　there　should　have　been；　just　the　overly　loud　music。　〃Gregory；　are　you　still　there？〃
　〃Gregory　is　indisposed；〃　a　man's　voice　said。
　〃Who　is　this？〃
　〃I　am　Marco；　if　that　helps　you；　though　I　doubt　that　it　does。〃　His　voice　was　cultured　　American；　but　upper　crusty。
　〃New　in　town　are　you？〃　I　asked。
　〃Something　like　that；〃　he　said。
　〃Wele　to　town。　Make　sure　you　go　up　in　the　Arch　while　you're　here；　it's　a　nice　view。　But　what　has　your　recent　arrival　in　St。　Louis　got　to　do　with　me　and　mine？〃
　〃We　didn't　realize　it　was　your　pet　we　had　at　first。　He　wasn't　the　one　we　were　hunting　for；　but　now　that　we　have　him；　we're　keeping　him。〃
　〃You　can't　'keep'　him；〃　I　said。
　〃e　down　and　take　him　away　from　us；　if　you　can。〃　That　strangely　smooth　voice　made　the　threat　all　the　more　effective。　There　was　no　anger；　nothing　personal。　It　sounded　like　business；　and　I　had　no　clue　what　it　was　about。
　〃Put　Gregory　back　on；〃　I　said。
　〃I　don't　think　so。　He's　enjoying　some　personal　time　with　my　friends　right　now。〃
　〃How　do　I　know　he's　still　alive？〃　My　voice　was　as　unemotional　as　his。　I　wasn't　feeling　anything　yet；　it　was　too　sudden；　too　unexpected；　like　ing　in　on　the　middle　of　a　movie。
　〃No　one's　dead；　yet；〃　the　man　said。
　〃How　do　I　know　that？〃
　He　was　quiet　for　a　second；　then；　〃What　sort　of　people　are　you　used　to　dealing　with；　that　you　would　ask　if　we've　killed　him　first　thing？〃
　〃It's　been　a　rough　year。　Now　put　Gregory　on　the　phone；　because　until　I　know　he's　alive；　and　he　tells　me　the　others　are；　this　negotiation　is　stalled。〃
　〃How　do　you　know　we　are　negotiating？〃　Marco　asked。
　〃Call　it　a　hunch。〃
　〃My；　you　are　direct。〃
　〃You　have　no　idea　how　direct　I　can　be；　Marco。　Put　Gregory　on　the　phone。〃
　There　was　the　music…filled　silence；　and　more　music；　but　no　voices。　〃Gregory；　Gregory；　are　you　there？　Is　anyone　there？〃　Shit；　I　thought。
　〃I'm　afraid　that　your　kitty…cat　won't　squawl　for　us。　A　point　of　pride；　I　think。〃
　〃Put　the　receiver　to　his　ear　and　let　me　talk　to　him。〃
　〃As　you　wish。〃
　More　of　the　loud　music。　I　spoke　as　if　I　was　sure　that　Gregory　was　listening。　〃Gregory；　I　need　to　know　you're　alive。　I　need　to　know　that　Nathaniel　and　everyone　else　is　alive。　Talk　to　me；　Gregory。〃
　His　voice　came　squeezed　tight；　as　if　he　were　gritting　his　teeth。　〃Yesss。〃
　〃Yes；　what；　they're　all　alive？〃
　〃Yess。〃
　〃What　are　they　doing　to　you？〃
　He　screamed　into　the　phone；　and　the　sound　raised　the　hairs　on　my　neck　and　danced　down　my　arms　in　goosebumps。　The　sound　stopped　abruptly。　〃