sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第30部分

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ts　with　Christmas　lights　and　plastic　Christmas　trees　and　papier…mache　cutouts　of　Santa　Claus　and　his　sled　and　his　reindeer。　Stars　and　character　actors　vie　for　the　privilege　of　riding　in　the　Santa　Claus　Parade；　not　because　they　are　concerned　about　bringing　holiday　cheer　to　the　thousands　of　children　and　adults　who　line　the　path　of　the　parade；　but　because　parade　of　floats　go　by；　the　stars　on　top　waving　to　their　loving　fans　below。　
　The　Grand　Marshal　of　the　parade　this　year　was　Toby　Temple。　The　adoring　crowds　cheered　wildly　as　his　float　passed　by。　Jill　caught　a　quick　glimpse　of　Toby's　beaming；　ingenuous　face　and　then　he　was　gone。　There　was　music　from　the　Hollywood　High　School　Band；　followed　by　a　Masonic　Temple　float；　and　a　marine　corps　band。　There　were　equestrians　in　cowboy　outfits　and　a　Salvation　Army　band；　followed　by　Shriners。　There　were　singing　groups　carrying　flags　and　streamers；　a　Knott's　Berry　Farm　float　with　animals　and　birds　made　of　flowers；　fire　engines；　clowns　and　jazz　bands。　It　might　not　have　been　the　spirit　of　Christmas；　but　it　was　pure　Hollywood　spectacle。　Jill　had　worked　with　some　of　the　character　actors　on　the　floats。　One　of　them　waved　to　her　and　called　down；　
　〃Hiya；　Jill！　Howyadoin'？〃　
　Several　people　in　the　crowd　turned　to　look　enviously　at　her；　and　it　gave　her　a　delightful　feeling　of　self…importance　that　people　knew　she　was　in　the　Business。　A　deep；　rich　voice　beside　her　said；　
　〃Excuse　me　　are　you　an　actress？〃　
　Jill　turned。　The　speaker　was　a　tall　blond；　good…looking　boy　in　his　middle　twenties。　His　face　was　tanned　and　his　teeth　white　and　even。　He　wore　a　pair　of　old　jeans　and　a　blue　tweed　jacket　with　leather…patch　elbows。　
　〃Yes。〃　
　〃Me；　too。　An　actor；　I　mean。〃　He　grinned　and　added；　〃Struggling。〃　
　Jill　pointed　to　herself　and　said；　〃Struggling。〃　
　He　laughed。　〃Can　I　buy　you　a　cup　of　coffee？〃　His　name　was　Alan　Preston　and　he　came　from　Salt　Lake　City　where　his　father　was　an　elder　in　the　Mormon　Church。　
　〃I　grew　up　with　too　much　religion　and　not　enough　fun；〃　he　confided　to　Jill。　It's　almost　prophetic；　Jill　thought。　We　have　exactly　the　same　kind　of　background。　
　〃I'm　a　good　actor；〃　Alan　said　ruefully；　〃but　this　is　sure　a　rough　town。　Back　home；　everybody　wants　to　help　you。　Here；　it　seems　like　everybody's　out　to　get　you。〃　
　They　talked　until　the　coffee　shop　closed；　and　by　that　time　they　were　old　friends。　When　Alan　asked；　
　〃Do　you　want　to　e　back　to　my　place？〃　
　Jill　hesitated　only　a　moment。　〃All　right。〃　
　Alan　Preston　lived　in　a　boardinghouse　off　Highland　Avenue；　two　blocks　from　the　Hollywood　Bowl。　He　had　a　small　room　at　the　back　of　the　house。　
　〃They　ought　to　call　this　place　The　Dregs；〃　he　told　Jill。　''You　should　see　the　weirdos　who　live　here。　They　all　think　hey're　going　to　make　it　big　in　show　business。〃　
　Like　us；　Jill　thought。　The　furniture　in　Alan's　room　consisted　of　a　bed；　a　bureau；　a　chair　and　a　small　rickety　table。　
　〃I'm　just　waiting　intil　I　move　into　my　place；〃　Alan　explained。　
　Jill　laughed。　〃Same　with　me。〃　
　Alan　started　to　take　her　in　his　arms；　and　she　stiffened。　〃Please　don't。〃　
　He　looked　at　her　a　moment　and　said　gently；　〃Okay；〃　and　fill　was　suddenly　embarrassed。　What　was　she　doing　here　in　this　man's　room；　anyway？　She　knew　the　answer　to　that。　She　was　desperately　lonely。　She　was　hungry　for　someone　to　talk　to；　hungry　for　the　feel　of　a　man's　arms　around　her；　holding　her　and　reassuring　her　and　telling　her　that　everything　was　going　to　be　wonderful。　It　had　been　so　long。　She　thought　of　David　Kenyon；　but　that　was　another　life；　another　world。　She　wanted　him　so　much　that　it　was　an　ache。　A　little　later；　when　Alan　Preston　put　his　arms　around　Jill　again；　she　closed　her　eyes　and　it　became　David　kissing　her　and　undressing　her　and　making　love　to　her。　
　Jill　spent　the　night　with　Alan；　and　a　few　days　later　he　moved　into　her　small　apartment。　Alan　Preston　was　the　most　unplicated　man　Jill　had　ever　met。　He　was　easygoing　and　relaxed；　taking　each　day　as　it　came；　totally　unconcerned　with　tomorrow。　When　Jill　would　discuss　his　way　of　life　with　him；　he　would　say；　
　〃Hey；　remember　Appointment　in　Samarra　…　If　it's　going　to　happen；　it'll　lappen。　Fate　will　find　you。　You　don't　have　to　go　looking　for　it。〃　Alan　would　stay　in　bed　long　after　Jill　had　gone　out　looking　for　work。　When　she　returned　home；　she　would　find　him　in　an　easy　chair；　reading　or　drinking　beer　with　his　friends。　He　brought　no　money　into　the　house。　
　〃You're　a　dope；〃　one　of　Jill's　girlfriends　told　her。　〃He's　using　your　bed；　eating　your　food；　drinking　your　liquor。　Get　rid　of　him。〃　
　But　Jill　didn't。　For　the　first　time；　Jill　understood　Harriet；　understood　all　her　friends　who　clung　desperately　to　men　they　did　not　love；　men　they　hated。　It　was　the　fear　of　being　alone。　
　Jill　was　out　of　a　job。　Christmas　was　only　a　few　days　away　and　she　was　down　to　her　last　few　dollars；　yet　she　had　to　send　her　mother　a　Christmas　present。　It　was　Alan　who　solved　the　problem。　He　had　left　early　one　morning　without　saying　where　he　was　going。　When　he　returned；　he　said　to　Jill；　
　〃We've　got　a　job。〃　
　〃What　kind　of　job？〃　
　〃Acting；　of　course。　We're　actors；　aren't　we？〃　
　Jill　looked　at　him；　filled　with　sudden　hope。　〃Are　you　serious？〃　
　〃Of　course　I　am。　I　ran　into　a　friend　of　mine　who's　a　director。　He's　got　a　picture　starting　tomorrow。　There's　parts　for　both　of　us。　A　hundred　bucks　apiece；　for　one　day's　work。〃　
　〃That's　wonderful！〃　Jill　exclaimed。　〃A　hundred　dollars！〃　With　that　she　could　buy　her　mother　some　lovely　English　wool　for　a　winter　coat　and　have　enough　left　over　to　buy　a　good　leather　purse。　
　〃It's　just　a　little　indie。　They're　shooting　it　in　back　of　someone's　garage。〃　
　Jill　said；　〃What　can　we　lose？　It's　a　part。〃　
　The　garage　was　on　the　south　side　of　Los　Angeles；　in　an　area　that　in　one　generation　had　gone　from　exclusivity　to　middle…class　gentility　to　seed。　They　were　greeted　at　the　door　by　a　short；　swarthy　man　who　took　Alan's　hand　and　said；　
　〃You　made　it；　buddy。　Great。〃　He　turned　to　Jill　and　whistled　appreciatively。　〃You　told　it　like　it　is；　pal。　She's　an　eyeful。〃　
　Alan　said；　〃Jill；　this　is　Peter　Terraglio。　Jill　Castle。〃　
　〃How　do　you　do！〃　Jill　said。　
　〃Peter's　the　director；〃　Alan　explained。　
　〃Director；　producer；　chief　bottle　washer。　I　do　a　little　of　everything。　e　on　in。〃　He　led　them　through　the　empty　garage　into　a　passageway　that　had　at　one　time　been　servants'　quarters。　There　were　two　bedrooms　off　the　corridor。　The　door　　to　one　was　open。　As　they　approached　it；　they　could　hear　the　sound　of　voices。　Jill　reached　the　doorway；　looked　inside　and　stopped　in　shocked　disbelief。　In　the　middle　of　the　room　four　naked　people　were　lying　on　a　bed；　a　black　man；　a　Mexican　man；　and　two　girls；　one　white　and　one　black。　A　cameraman　was　lighting　the　set　while　one　of　the　girls　practiced　fellatio　on　the　Mexican。　The　girl　paused　for　a　moment；　out　of　breath；　and　said；　〃e　on；　you　cock。　Get　hard。〃　Jill　felt　faint。　She　wheeled　around　in　the　doorway　to　start　back　down　the　passageway；　and　she　felt　her　legs　start　to　give　way。　Alan　had　his　arm　around　her；　supporting　her。　
　〃Are　you　all　right？〃　She　could　not　answer　him。　Her　head　was　suddenly　splitting；　and　her　stomach　was　filled　with　knives。　〃Wait　here；〃　Alan　ordered。　He　was　back　in　a　minute　with　a　bottle　of　red　pills　and　a　pint　of　vodka。　He　took　out　two　of　the　pills　and　handed　them　to　Jill。　
　〃These　will　make　you　feel　better。〃　Jul　put　the　pills　in　her　mouth；　her　head　pounding。　〃Wash　it　down　with　this；〃　Alan　told　her。　She　did　as　he　said。　〃Here。〃　Alan　handed　her　another　pill。　She　swallowed　it　with　vodka。　〃You　need　to　lie　down　a　minute。〃　He　led　Jill　into　the　empty　bedroom；　and　she　lay　down　on　the　bed；　moving　very　slowly。　The　pills　were　beginning　to　work。　She　started　to　feel　better。　The　bitter　bile　had　stopped　ing　up　into　her　mouth。　Fifteen　minutes　later；　her　headache　was　fading　away。　Alan　handed　her　another　pill。　Without　even　thinking　about　it；　〃I　am　sitting　still。〃　Jill　thought　that　was　funny　and　began　to　laugh。　She　laughed　until　the　tears　streamed　down　her　face。　
　〃What　　what　were　those　pills？〃　
　〃For　your　headache；　honey。〃　
　Terraglio　peered　into　the　room　and　said；　〃How　we　doin'？　Everybody　happy？〃　
　〃Every　　everybody's　happy；〃　Jill　mumbled。　Terraglio　looked　at　Alan　and　nodded。　
　〃Five　minutes；〃　Terraglio　said。　He　hurried　off。　Alan　was　leaning　over　Jill；　stroking　her　breast　and　her　thighs；　lifting　her　skirt　and　working　his　fingers　between　her　legs。　It　felt　marvelously　exciting；　and　Jill　suddenly　wanted　him　inside　her。　
　〃Look；　baby；〃　Alan　said；　〃I　wouldn't　ask　you　to　do　anything　bad。　You'd　just　make　love　to　me。　It's　what　we　do　anyway；　only　this　time　we　get　paid　for　it。　Two　hundred　bucks。　And　it's　all　yours。〃　
　She　shook　her　head；　but　it　seemed　to　take　forever　to　move　it　from　side　to　side。　〃I　couldn't　do　that；〃　she　said；　fuzzily。　
　〃Why　not？〃　She　had　to　concentrate　to　remember。　〃Because　I'm　I'm　gonna　be　a　star。　Can't　do　porno　films。〃　
　〃Would　you　like　me　to　fuck　you？〃　
　〃Oh；　yes！　I　want　you；　David。〃　Alan　started　to　say　something；　then　grinned。　〃Sure；　baby。　I　want　you；　too。　e　on。〃　He　took　Jill's　hand　and　lifted　her　off　the　bed。　Jill　felt　as　though　she　were　flying。　They　were　in　the　hallway；　then　moving　into　the　other　bedroom。　
　〃Okay；〃　Terraglio　said　as　he　saw　them。　〃Keep　the　same　setup。　We've