sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第29部分

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　Work　was　the　only　thing　that　made　Toby　forget　his　loneliness；　the　only　thing　that　brought　him　real　joy。　If　a　show　went　well；　Toby　was　the　most　amusing　panion　in　the　world；　but　if　the　show　went　badly；　he　was　a　demon；　attacking　every　target　within　reach　of　his　savage　wit。　He　was　possessive。　Once；　during　a　story　conference；　he　took　Rainger's　head　between　his　two　hands　and　announced　to　the　room；　〃This　is　mine。　It　belongs　to　me。〃　At　the　same　time　he　grew　to　hate　writers；　because　he　needed　them　and　he　did　not　want　to　need　anyone。　So　he　treated　them　with　contempt。　On　pay　day；　Toby　made　airplanes　of　the　writer's　paychecks　and　sailed　them　through　the　air。　Writers　would　be　fired　for　the　smallest　infraction。　One　day　a　writer　walked　in　with　a　tan　and　Toby　immediately　had　him　discharged。　〃Why　did　you　do　that？〃　O'Hanlon　asked。　〃He's　one　of　our　best　writers。〃　〃If　he　was　working；〃　Toby　said；　〃he　wouldn't　have　had　rime　for　a　tan。〃　A　new　writer　brought　in　a　joke　about　mothers　and　was　let　go。　If　a　guest　on　his　show　got　big　laughs；　Toby　would　exclaim；　〃You're　great！　I　want　you　on　this　show　every　week。〃　He　would　look　over　at　the　producer　and　say；　〃You　hear　me？〃　and　the　producer　would　know　that　the　actor　was　never　to　appear　on　the　show　again。　Toby　was　a　mass　of　contradictions。　He　was　jealous　of　the　success　of　other　ics；　yet　the　following　happened。　
　One　day　as　Toby　was　leaving　his　rehearsal　stage；　he　passed　the　dressing　room　of　an　old…time　edy　star；　Vinnie　Turkel；　whose　career　had　long　since　gone　downhill。　Vinnie　had　been　hired　to　do　his　first　dramatic　part；　in　a　live　television　play。　He　hoped　that　it　would　mean　a　eback　for　him。　Now；　as　Toby　looked　into　the　dressing　room；　he　saw　Vinnie　on　the　couch；　drunk。　The　director　of　the　show　came　by　and　said　to　Toby；　〃Let　him　be；　Toby。　He's　finished。〃　
　〃What　happened？〃　
　〃Well；　you　know　Vinnie's　trademark　has　always　been　his　high；　quavery　voice。　We　started　rehearsing　and　every　time　Vinnie　opened　his　mouth　and　tried　to　be　serious；　everyone　began　to　laugh。　It　destroyed　the　old　guy。〃　
　〃He　was　counting　on　this　part；　wasn't　he？〃　Toby　asked。　
　The　director　shrugged。　〃Every　actor　counts　on　every　part。〃　
　Toby　took　Vinnie　Turkel　home　with　him　and　stayed　with　the　old　edy　star；　sobering　him　up。　〃This　is　the　best　role　you've　ever　had　in　your　life。　Are　you　gonna　blow　it？〃　
　Vinnie　shook　his　head；　miserable。　〃I've　already　blown　it；　Toby。　I　can't　cut　it。〃　
　〃Who　says　you　can't？〃　Toby　demanded。　〃You　can　play　that　part　better　than　anyone　in　the　world。〃　
　The　old　man　shook　his　head。　〃They　laughed　at　me。〃　
　〃Sure　they　did。　And　do　you　know　why？　Because　you've　made　them　laugh　all　your　life。　They　expected　you　to　be　funny。　But　if　you　keep　going；　you'll　win　them　over。　You'll　kill　them。〃　He　spent　the　rest　of　the　afternoon　restoring　Vinnie　Turkel's　confidence。　That　evening；　Toby　telephoned　the　director　at　home。　
　〃Turkel's　all　right　now；〃　Toby　said。　〃You　have　nothing　to　worry　about。〃　
　〃I　know　I　haven't；〃　the　director　retorted。　〃I've　replaced　him。〃　
　〃Not　replace　him；〃　Toby　said。　〃You've　got　to　give　him　a　shot。〃　
　〃I　can't　take　the　chance；　Toby。　He'll　get　drunk　again　and…〃　
　〃Tell　you　what　I'll　do；〃　Toby　offered。　〃Keep　him　in。　If　you　still　don't　want　him　after　dress　rehearsal；　I'll　take　over　his　part　and　do　it　for　nothing。〃　
　There　was　a　pause；　and　the　director　said；　〃Hey！　Are　you　serious？〃　
　〃You　bet　your　ass。〃　
　〃It's　a　deal；〃　the　director　said　quickly。　〃Tell　Vinnie　to　be　at　rehearsal　at　nine　o'clock　tomorrow　morning。〃　
　When　the　show　went　on　the　air；　it　was　the　hit　of　the　season。　And　it　was　Vinnie　Turkel　whose　performance　the　critics　singled　out。　He　won　every　prize　that　television　had　to　offer　and　a　new　career　opened　up　for　him　as　a　dramatic　actor。　When　he　sent　Toby　an　expensive　gift　to　show　his　appreciation；　Toby　returned　it　with　a　note。　
　〃I　didn't　do　it；　you　did。〃　
　That　was　Toby　Temple。　A　few　months　later；　Toby　signed　Vinnie　Turkel　to　do　a　sketch　in　his　show。　Vinnie　stepped　on　one　of　Toby's　laugh　lines　and　from　that　moment　on；　Toby　gave　him　wrong　cues；　tolled　his　jokes　and　humiliated　him　in　front　of　forty　million　people。　That　was　Toby　Temple；　too。　Someone　asked　O'Hanlon　what　Toby　Temple　was　really　like；　and　O'Hanlon　replied；　〃Do　you　remember　the　picture　where　Charlie　Chaplin　meets　the　millionaire？　When　the　millionaire　is　drunk；　he's　Chaplin's　buddy。　When　he's　sober；　he　throws　him　out　on　his　ass。　That's　Toby　Temple；　only　without　the　liquor。〃　
　Once　during　a　meeting　with　the　heads　of　a　network；　one　of　the　junior　executives　hardly　said　a　word。　Later；　Toby　said　to　Clifton　Lawrence；　
　〃I　don't　think　he　liked　me。〃　
　〃Who？〃　
　〃The　kid　at　the　meeting。〃　
　〃What　do　you　care？　He's　a　thirty…second　Assistant　Nobody。〃　
　〃He　didn't　say　a　word　to　me；〃　Toby　brooded。　〃He　really　doesn't　like　me。〃　Toby　was　so　upset　that　Clifton　Lawrence　had　to　track　down　the　young　executive。　He　called　the　bewildered　man　in　the　middle　of　the　night　and　said；　
　〃Do　you　have　anything　against　Toby　Temple？〃　
　〃Me？　I　think　he's　the　funniest　man　in　the　whole　world！〃　
　〃Then　would　you　do　me　a　favor；　dear　boy？　Call　him　and　tell　him　so。〃　
　〃What？〃　
　〃Call　Toby　and　tell　him　you　like　him。〃　
　〃Well；　sure。　I'll　call　him　first　thing　tomorrow。〃　
　〃Call　him　now。〃　
　〃It's　three　o'clock　in　the　morning！〃　
　〃It　doesn't　matter。　He's　waiting　for　you。〃　
　When　the　executive　called　Toby；　the　phone　was　answered　immediately。　He　heard　Toby's　voice　say；　
　〃Hi。〃　
　The　young　executive　swallowed　and　said；　〃I　　I　Just　wanted　to　tell　you　that　I　think　you're　great。〃　
　〃Thanks；　pal；〃　Toby　said；　and　hung　up。　
　The　size　of　Toby's　entourage　grew。　Sometimes　he　would　awaken　in　the　middle　of　the　night　and　telephone　friends　to　e　over　for　a　gin　game；　or　he　would　awaken　O'Hanlon　and　Rainger　and　summon　them　to　a　story　conference。　He　would　often　sit　up　all　night　running　movies　at　home；　with　the　three　Macs　and　Clifton　Lawrence　and　half　a　dozen　starlets　and　hangers…on。　And　the　more　people　there　were　around　him；　the　lonelier　Toby　became。　
　
　
　It　was　November；　1963；　and　the　autumn　sunshine　had　given　way　to　a　thin；　unwarming　light　from　the　sky。　The　early　mornings　were　foggy　and　chilling　now；　and　the　first　rains　of　winter　had　begun。　Jill　Castle　still　stopped　in　at　Schwab's　every　morning；　but　it　seemed　to　her　that　the　conversations　were　always　the　same。　The　Survivors　talked　about　who　had　lost　a　part　and　why。　They　gloated　over　each　disastrous　review　that　came　out　and　deprecated　the　good　ones。　It　was　the　threnody　of　losers；　and　Jill　began　to　wonder　if　she　were　being　like　the　rest　of　them。　She　was　still　sure　that　she　was　going　to　be　Somebody；　but　as　she　looked　around　at　the　same　familiar　faces；　she　realized　they　all　felt　the　same　way　about　themselves。　Was　it　possible　they　were　all　out　of　touch　with　reality；　all　of　them　gambling　on　a　dream　that　was　never　going　to　happen？　She　could　not　bear　the　thought　of　it。　Jill　had　bee　the　mother　confessor　to　the　group。　They　came　to　her　with　problems；　and　she　listened　and　tried　to　help；　with　advice；　a　few　dollars　or　a　place　to　sleep　for　a　week　or　two。　She　seldom　dated　because　she　was　absorbed　in　her　career　and　she　had　not　met　anyone　who　interested　her。　
　Whenever　Jill　was　able　to　put　a　little　money　aside；　she　sent　it　to　her　mother　with　long；　glowing　letters　about　how　well　she　was　doing。　In　the　beginning；　Jill's　mother　had　written　back　urging　Jill　to　repent　and　bee　a　bride　of　God。　But　as　Jill　made　occasional　movies　and　sent　more　money　home；　her　mother　began　to　take　a　certain　reluctant　pride　in　her　daughter's　career。　She　was　no　longer　against　Jill's　being　an　actress　but　she　pressed　Jill　to　get　parts　in　religious　pictures。　〃I'm　sure　Mr。　DeMille　would　give　you　a　role　if　you　explained　your　religious　background　to　him；〃　she　wrote。　Odessa　was　a　small　town。　Jill's　mother　still　worked　for　the　Oil　People；　and　she　knew　that　her　mother　would　talk　about　her；　that　sooner　or　later　David　Kenyon　would　hear　of　her　success。　And　so；　in　her　letters；　Jill　made　up　stories　about　all　the　stars　she　worked　with；　always　careful　to　use　their　first　names。　She　learned　the　bit　players'　trick　of　having　the　set　photographer　snap　her　picture　as　she　stood　next　to　the　star。　The　photographer　would　give　her　two　prints　and　Jill　would　mail　one　to　her　mother　and　keep　the　other。　She　made　her　letters　sound　as　though　she　was　just　one　step　short　of　stardom。　
　
　It　is　the　custom　in　Southern　California；　where　it　never　snows；　that　three　weeks　before　Christmas　a　Santa　Claus　Parade　marches　down　Hollywood　Boulevard　and　that　each　night　after　that　until　Christmas　Eve　a　Santa　Claus　float　makes　the　journey。　The　citizens　of　Hollywood　are　as　conscientious　about　the　celebration　of　the　Christ　child　as　are　their　neighbors　in　northern　climes。　They　are　not　to　be　held　responsible　if　〃Glory　Beto　God　on　High〃　and　〃Silent　Night〃　and　〃Rudolph　the　Red…Nosed　Reindeer〃　pour　out　of　home　and　car　radios　in　a　munity　that　is　sweltering　in　a　temperature　of　eighty…five　or　ninety　degrees。　They　long　for　an　old…fashioned　white　Christmas　as　ardently　as　other　red…blooded；　patriotic　Americans；　but　because　they　know　that　God　is　not　going　to　supply　it；　they　have　learned　to　create　their　own。　They　festoon　the　streets　with　Christmas　lights　and　plastic　Christmas　trees　and　papier…mache　cutou