sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第11部分

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r　until　he　heard　Alice　Tanner　saying；　
　〃Stop　it！　Stop　it！〃　Tears　of　laughter　were　streaming　down　her　face。　〃Stop　it！〃　she　repeated；　gasping　for　breath。　And　slowly；　Toby　came　down　to　earth。　Mrs。　Tanner　had　taken　out　a　handkerchief　and　was　wiping　her　eyes。　〃Youyou're　insane；〃　she　said。　〃Do　you　know　that？〃　
　Toby　stared　at　her；　a　feeling　of　elation　slowly　filling　him；　exalting　him。　〃You　liked　it；　huh？〃　
　Alice　Tanner　shook　her　head　and　took　a　deep　breath　to　hold　her　laughter　and　said；　〃Not　　not　very　much。〃　
　Toby　looked　at　her；　filled　with　rage。　She　had　been　laughg　at　him；　not　with　him。　He　had　been　making　a　fool　of　himself。　
　〃Then　what　were　you　laughing　at？〃　Toby　demanded。　
　She　smiled　and　said　quietly；　〃You。　That　was　the　most　Frenetic　performance　I've　ever　seen。　Somewhere；　hidden　beneath　all　those　movie　stars；　is　a　young　man　with　a　lot　of　talent。　You　don't　have　to　imitate　other　people。　You're　naturally　any。〃　
　Toby　felt　his　anger　begin　to　seep　away。　
　〃I　think　one　day　you　could　be　really　good　if　you're　willing　to　work　hard　at　it。　Are　you？〃　
　He　gave　her　a　slow；　beatific　grin　and　said；　〃Let's　roll　up　our　sleeves　and　go　to　work。〃　
　
　
　Josephine　worked　very　hard　Saturday　morning；　helping　her　mother　clean　the　house。　At　noon　Cissy　and　some　other　friends　picked　her　up　to　take　her　on　a　picnic。　Mrs。　Csinski　watched　Josephine　being　driven　off　in　the　long　limousine　filled　with　the　children　of　the　Oil　People。　She　thought：　　〃One　day　something　bad　is　going　to　happen　to　Josephine。　I　shouldn't　let　her　be　with　those　people。　They're　the　Devil's　children。〃　And　she　wondered　if　there　was　a　devil　in　Josephine。　She　would　talk　to　the　Reverend　Damian。　He　would　know　what　to　do。　
　
　Actors　West　was　divided　into　two　sections：　the　Showcase　group；　which　consisted　of　the　more　experienced　actors；　and　the　Workshop　group。　It　was　the　Showcase　actors　who　staged　plays　that　were　covered　by　the　studio　talent　scouts。　Toby　had　been　put　with　the　Workshop　actors。　Alice　Tanner　had　told　him　that　it　might　be　six　months　or　a　year　before　he　would　be　ready　to　do　a　Showcase　play。　Toby　found　the　classes　interesting；　but　the　magic　ingredient　was　missing：　the　audience；　the　applauders；　the　laughters；　the　people　who　would　adore　him。　
　In　the　weeks　since　Toby　had　begun　classes；　he　had　seen　very　little　of　the　head　of　the　school。　Occasionally；　Alice　Tanner　Would　drop　into　the　Workshop　to　watch　improvisations　and　give　a　word　of　encouragement；　or　Toby　would　run　into　her　on　his　way　to　class。　But　he　had　hoped　for　something　more　intimate。　He　found　himself　thinking　about　Alice　Tanner　a　great　deal。　She　was　what　Toby　thought　of　as　a　classy　dame；　and　that　appealed　to　him；　he　felt　it　was　what　he　deserved。　The　idea　of　her　crippled　leg　had　bothered　him　at　first；　but　it　had　slowly　begun　to　take　on　a　sexual　fascination。　Toby　talked　to　her　again　about　putting　him　in　a　Showcase　play　where　the　critics　and　talent　scouts　could　see　him。　〃You're　not　ready　yet；〃　Alice　Tanner　told　him。　She　was　standing　in　his　way；　keeping　him　from　his　success。　I　have　to　do　something　about　that；　Toby　decided。　
　A　Showcase　play　was　being　staged；　and　on　the　opening　night　Toby　was　seated　in　a　middle　row　next　to　a　student　named　Karen；　a　fat　little　character　actress　from　his　class。　Toby　had　played　scenes　with　Karen；　and　he　knew　two　things　about　her：　she　never　wore　underclothes　and　she　had　bad　breath。　She　had　done　everything　but　send　up　smoke　signals　to　let　Toby　know　that　she　wanted　to　go　to　bed　with　him；　but　he　had　pretended　not　to　understand。　Jesus；　he　thought；　fucking　her　would　be　like　being　sucked　into　a　tub　of　hot　lard。　
　As　they　sat　there　waiting　for　the　curtain　to　go　up；　Karen　excitedly　pointed　out　the　critics　from　the　Los　Angeles　Times　and　Herald…Express；　and　the　talent　scouts　from　Twentieth　Century…Fox；　MGM　and　Warner　Brothers。　It　enraged　Toby。　They　were　here　to　see　the　actors　up　on　the　stage；　while　he　sat　in　the　audience　like　a　dummy。　He　had　an　almost　uncontrollable　impulse　to　stand　up　and　do　one　of　his　routines；　dazzle　them；　show　them　what　real　talent　looked　like。　The　audience　enjoyed　the　play；　but　Toby　was　obsessed　with　the　talent　scouts；　who　sat　within　touching　distance；　the　men　who　held　his　future　in　their　hands。　Well；　if　Actors　West　was　the　lure　to　bring　them　to　him；　Toby　would　use　it；　but　he　had　no　intention　of　waiting　six　months；　or　even　six　weeks。　
　The　following　morning；　Toby　went　to　Alice　Tanner's　office。　
　〃How　did　you　like　the　play？〃　she　asked。　
　〃It　was　wonderful；〃　Toby　said。　〃Those　actors　are　really　great。〃　He　gave　a　self…deprecating　smile。　〃I　see　what　you　mean　when　you　say　I'm　not　ready　yet。〃　
　〃They've　had　more　experience　than　you；　that's　all；　but　you　have　a　unique　personality。　You're　going　to　make　it。　Just　be　patient。〃　
　He　sighed。　〃I　don't　know。　Maybe　I'd　be　better　off　forgetting　the　whole　thing　and　selling　insurance　or　something。〃　
　She　looked　at　him　in　quick　surprise。　〃You　mustn't；〃　she　said。　
　Toby　shook　his　head。　〃After　seeing　those　pros　last　night；　I　　I　don't　think　I　have　it。〃　
　〃Of　course　you　have；　Toby。　I　won't　let　you　talk　like　that。〃　
　In　her　voice　was　the　note　he　had　been　waiting　to　hear。　It　was　not　a　teacher　talking　to　a　pupil　now；　it　was　a　woman　talking　to　a　man；　encouraging　him；　caring　about　him。　Toby　felt　a　small　thrill　of　satisfaction。　He　shrugged　helplessly。　
　〃I　don't　know；　anymore。　I'ts　all　rifle　in　this　town。　I　have　no　one　to　talk　to。〃　
　〃You　can　always　talk　to　me；　Toby。　I'd　like　to　be　your　friend。〃　He　could　hear　the　sexual　huskiness　e　into　her　voice。　Toby's　blue　eyes　held　all　the　wonder　in　the　world　as　he　gazed　at　her。　As　she　watched　him；　he　walked　over　and　locked　the　office　door。　He　returned　to　her；　fell　on　his　knees；　buried　his　head　in　her　lap　and；　as　her　fingers　touched　his　hair；　he　slowly　lifted　her　skirt；　exposing　the　poor　thigh　encased　in　the　cruel　steel　brace。　Gently　removing　the　brace；　he　tenderly　kissed　the　red　marks　left　by　the　steel　bars。　Slowly；　he　unfastened　her　garter　belt；　all　the　time　telling　Alice　of　his　love　and　his　need　of　her；　and　kissed　his　way　down　to　the　moist　lips　exposed　before　him。　He　carried　her　to　the　deep　leather　couch　and　made　love　to　her。　That　evening；　Toby　moved　in　with　Alice　Tanner。　
　In　bed　that　night；　Toby　found　that　Alice　Tanner　was　a　pitifully　lonely　woman；　desperate　for　someone　to　talk　to；　someone　to　love。　She　had　been　born　in　Boston。　Her　father　was　a　wealthy　manufacturer　who　had　given　her　a　large　allowance　and　paid　no　further　attention　to　her。　Alice　had　loved　the　theater　and　had　studied　to　be　an　actress；　but　in　college　she　had　contracted　polio　and　that　had　put　an　end　to　her　dream。　She　told　Toby　how　it　had　affected　her　life。　The　boy　she　was　engaged　to　had　jilted　her　when　he　learned　the　news。　Alice　had　left　home　and　married　a　psychiatrist；　who　mitted　suicide　six　months　later。　
　It　was　as　though　all　her　emotions　had　been　bottled　up　inside　her。　Now　they　poured　out　in　a　violent　eruption　that　left　her　feeling　drained　and　peaceful　and　marvelously　content。　Toby　made　love　to　Alice　until　she　almost　fainted　with　ecstasy；　filling　her　with　his　huge　penis　and　making　slow　circles　with　his　hips　until　he　seemed　to　be　touching　every　part　of　her　body。　She　moaned；　〃Oh；　darling；　I　love　you　so　much。　Oh；　God；　how　I　love　this！〃　
　But　when　it　came　to　school；　Toby　found　that　he　had　no　influence　with　Alice。　He　talked　to　her　about　putting　him　in　the　next　Showcase　play；　introducing　him　to　casting　directors；　speaking　to　important　studio　people　about　him；　but　she　was　firm。　
　〃You'll　hurt　yourself　if　you　push　too　fast；　darling。　Rule　one：　the　first　impression　you　make　is　the　most　important。　If　they　don't　like　you　the　first　time；　they'll　never　go　back　to　see　you　a　second　time。　You've　got　to　be　ready。〃　
　The　instant　the　words　were　out；　she　became　The　Enemy。　She　was　against　him。　Toby　swallowed　his　fury　and　forced　himself　to　smile　at　her。　
　〃Sure。　It's　just　that　I'm　impatient。　I　want　to　make　it　for　you　as　much　as　for　me。〃　
　〃Do　you？　Oh；　Toby；　I　love　you　so　much！〃　
　〃I　love　you；　too；　Alice。〃　And　he　smiled　into　her　adoring　eyes。　
　He　knew　he　had　to　circumvent　this　bitch　who　was　standing　in　the　way　of　what　he　wanted。　He　hated　her　and　he　punished　her。　When　they　went　to　bed；　he　made　her　do　things　she　had　never　done　before；　things　he　had　never　asked　a　whore　to　do；　using　her　mouth　and　her　fingers　and　her　tongue。　He　pushed　her　further　and　further；　forcing　her　into　a　series　of　humiliations。　And　each　time　he　got　her　to　do　something　more　degrading；　he　would　praise　her；　the　way　one　praises　a　dog　for　learning　a　new　trick；　and　she　would　be　happy　because　she　had　pleased　him。　And　the　more　he　degraded　her；　the　more　degraded　he　felt。　He　was　punishing　himself；　and　he　had　not　the　faintest　idea　why。　
　Toby　had　a　plan　in　mind；　and　his　chance　to　put　it　into　action　came　sooner　than　he　had　anticipated。　Alice　Tanner　announced　that　the　Workshop　class　was　going　to　put　on　a　private　show　for　the　advanced　classes　and　their　guests　on　the　following　Friday。　Each　student　could　choose　his　own　project。　Toby　prepared　a　monologue　and　rehearsed　it　over　and　over。　
　On　the　morning　of　the　show；　Toby　waited　until　class　was　over　and　walked　up　to　Karen；　the　fat　actress　who　had　sat　next　to　him　during　the　play。　
　〃Would　you　do　me　a　favor？〃　he　asked　casually。