cb.imajica2-第73部分

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　〃Why　are　you　so　afraid？〃
　〃If　I　wasn't　I'd　be　dead。　And　don't　condescend　to　me。　I　know　you　think　I'm　ridiculous；　but　if　you　were　a　bit　politer　you'd　hide　it。〃
　〃I　don't　think　you're　ridiculous。〃
　〃Yes；　you　do。〃
　〃No；　I　just　think　you　loved　your　Poppa　a　little　too　much。　There's　no　crime　in　that。　Believe　me；　I've　made　the　same　mistake　myself；　over　and　over　again。　You　trust　a　man；　and　the　next　thing　。　。　。〃　She　sighed；　shaking　her　head。　〃Never　mind。　Maybe　you're　right。　Maybe　you　should　go　home。　Who　knows；　perhaps　he'll　be　waiting　for　you。　What　do　I　know？〃
　They　turned　their　backs　on　each　other　without　further　word；　and　Jude　headed　on　up　the　hill；　wishing　as　she　went　that　she'd　found　a　more　tactful　way　of　stating　her　case。
　She'd　climbed　fifty　yards　when　she　heard　the　soft　pad　of　Hoi…Polloi's　step　behind　her；　then　the　girl's　voice；　its　rebuking　tone　gone；　saying；　〃Poppa's　not　going　to　e　home；　is　he？〃
　Jude　turned　back；　meeting　Hoi…Polloi's　cross…eyed　gaze　as　best　she　could。　〃No；〃　she　said；　〃I　don't　think　he　is。〃
　Hoi…Polloi　looked　at　the　cracked　ground　beneath　her　feet。　〃I　think　I've　always　known　that；〃　she　said；　〃but　I　just　haven't　been　able　to　admit　it。〃　Now　she　looked　up　again　and；　contrary　to　Jude's　expectation；　was　dry…eyed。　Indeed；　she　almost　looked　happy；　as　though　she　was　lighter　for　this　admission。　〃We're　both　alone　now；　aren't　we？〃　she　said。
　〃Yes；　we　are。〃
　〃So　maybe　we　should　go　on　together。　For　both　our　sakes。〃
　〃Thank　you　for　thinking　of　me；〃　Jude　said。　〃　〃We　women　should　stick　together；〃　Hoi…Polloi　replied；　and　came　to　join　Jude　as　she　resumed　the　climb。
　To　Gentle's　eye　Yzordderrex　looked　like　a　fever　dream　of　itself。　A　dark　borealis　hung　above　the　palace；　but　the　streets　and　squares　were　everywhere　visited　by　wonders。　Rivers　sprang　from　the　fractured　pavements　and　danced　up　the　mountainside；　spitting　their　climb　in　gravity's　face。　A　nimbus　of　color　painted　the　air　over　each　of　the　springing　places；　bright　as　a　flock　of　parrots。　It　was　a　spectacle　he　knew　Pie　would　have　reveled　in；　and　he　made　a　mental　note　of　every　strangeness　along　the　way；　so　that　he　could　paint　the　scene　in　words　when　he　was　back　at　the　mystifs　side。
　But　it　wasn't　all　wonders。　These　prisms　and　waters　rose　amid　scenes　of　utter　devastation；　where　keening　widows　sat；　barely　distinguishable　from　the　blackened　rubble　of　their　houses。　Only　the　Eurhetemec　Kesparate；　at　the　gates　of　which　he　presently　stood；　seemed　to　be　untouched　by　the　fire　raisers。　There　was　no　sign　of　any　inhabitant；　however；　and　Gentle　wandered　for　several　minutes；　silently　honing　a　fresh　set　of　insults　for　Scopique；　when　he　caught　sight　of　the　man　he'd　e　to　find。　Athanasius　was　standing　in　front　of　one　of　the　trees　that　lined　the　boulevards　of　the　Kesparate；　staring　up　at　it　admiringly。　Though　the　foliage　was　still　in　place；　the　arrangement　of　branches　it　grew　upon　was　visible；　and　Gentle　didn't　have　to　be　an　aspirant　Christos　to　see　how　readily　a　body　might　be　nailed　to　them。　He　called　Athanasius'　name　several　times　as　he　approached；　but　the　man　seemed　lost　in　reverie　and　didn't　look　around；　even　when　Gentle　was　at　his　shoulder。　He　did；　however；　reply。
　〃You　came　not　a　moment　too　soon；〃　he　said。
　〃Auto…crucifixion；〃　Gentle　replied。　〃Now　that　would　be　a　miracle。〃
　Athanasius　turned　to　him。　His　face　was　sallow　and　his　forehead　bloody。　He　looked　at　the　scabs　on　Gentle's　brow　and　shook　his　head。
　〃Two　of　a　kind；〃　he　said。　Then　he　raised　his　hands。　The　palms　bore　unmistakable　marks。　〃Have　you　got　these　too？〃
　〃No。　And　these〃…Gentle　pointed　to　his　forehead…　〃aren't　what　you　think。　Why　do　you　do　this　to　yourself？〃
　〃I　didn't　do　it；〃　Athanasius　replied。　〃I　woke　up　with　these　wounds。　Believe　me；　I　don't　wele　them。〃
　Gentle's　face　registered　his　skepticism；　and　Athanasius　responded　with　vim。
　〃I've　never　wanted　any　of　this；〃　he　said。　〃Not　the　stigmata。　Not　the　dreams。〃
　〃So　why　were　you　looking　at　the　tree？〃
　〃I'm　hungry；〃　came　the　reply；　〃and　I　was　wondering　if　I　had　the　strength　to　climb。〃
　The　gaze　directed　Gentle's　attention　back　to　the　tree。　Amid　the　foliage　on　the　higher　branches　were　clusters　of　et…ripened　fruit；　like　zebra　tangerines。
　〃I　can't　help　you；　I'm　afraid；〃　Gentle　said。　〃I　don't　have　enough　substance　to　catch　hold　of　them。　Can't　you　shake　them　down？〃
　〃I　tried。　Never　mind。　We've　got　more　important　business　than　my　belly。〃
　〃Finding　you　bandages；　for　one；〃　Gentle　said；　his　suspicions　chastened　out　of　him　by　this　misunderstanding；　at　least　for　the　moment。　〃I　don't　want　you　Weeding　to　death　before　we　begin　the　Reconciliation。〃
　〃You　mean　these？〃　he　said；　looking　at　his　hands。　〃No；　it　stops　and　starts　whenever　it　wants。　I'm　used　to　it。〃
　〃Well；　then；　we　should　at　least　find　you　something　to　eat。　Have　you　tried　any　of　the　houses？〃
　〃I'm　not　a　thief。〃
　〃I　don't　think　anybody's　ing　back；　Athanasius。　Let's　find　you　some　sustenance　before　you　pass　out。〃
　They　went　to　the　nearest　house；　and　after　a　little　encouragement　from　Gentle；　who　was　surprised　to　find　such　moral　nicety　in　his　panion；　Athanasius　kicked　open　the　door。　The　house　had　either　been　looted　or　vacated　in　haste；　but　the　kitchen　had　been　left　untouched　and　was　well　stocked。　There　Athanasius　daintily　prepared　himself　a　sandwich　with　his　wounded　hands；　bloodying　the　bread　as　he　did　so。
　〃I've　such　a　hunger　on　me；〃　he　said。　〃I　suppose　you've　been　fasting；　have　you？〃
　〃No。　Was　I　supposed　to？〃
　〃Each　to　their　own；〃　Athanasius　replied。　〃Everybody　walks　to　Heaven　by　a　different　road。　I　knew　a　man　who　couldn't　pray　unless　he　had　his　loins　in　a　zarzi　nest。〃
　Gentle　winced。　〃That's　not　religion；　it's　masochism。〃
　〃And　masochism　isn't　a　religion？〃　the　other　replied。　〃You　surprise　me。〃
　Gentle　was　startled　to　find　that　Athanasius　had　a　capacity　for　wit；　and　found　himself　warming　to　the　man　as　they　chatted。　Perhaps　they　could　profit　from　each　other's　pany　after　all；　though　any　truce　would　be　cosmetic　if　the　subject　of　the　Erasure　and　all　that　had　happened　there　wasn't　broached。
　〃I　owe　you　an　explanation；〃　he　said。
　〃Oh？〃
　〃For　what　happened　at　the　tents。　You　lost　a　lot　of　your　people；　and　it　was　because　of　me。〃
　〃I　don't　see　how　you　could　have　handled　it　much　differently；〃　Athanasius　said。　〃Neither　of　us　knew　the　forces　we　were　dealing　with。〃
　〃I'm　not　sure　I　do　now。〃
　Athanasius　made　a　grim　face。　〃Pie　'oh'　pah　went　to　a　good　deal　of　trouble　to　e　back　and　haunt　you；〃　he　said。
　〃It　wasn't　a　haunting。〃
　〃Whatever　it　was；　it　took　will　to　do　it。　The　mystif　must　have　known　what　the　consequences　would　be；　for　itself　and　for　my　people。〃
　〃It　hated　to　cause　harm。〃
　〃So　what　was　so　important　that　it　caused　so　much？〃
　〃It　wanted　to　make　certain　I　understood　my　purpose。〃
　〃That's　not　reason　enough；〃　Athanasius　said。
　〃It's　the　only　one　I've　got；〃　Gentle　replied；　skirting　the　other　part　of　Pie's　message；　the　part　about　Sartori。　Athanasius　had　no　answers　to　such　puzzles；　so　why　vex　him　with　them？
　〃I　believe　there's　something　going　on　we　don't　understand；〃　Athanasius　said；　〃Have　you　seen　the　waters？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Don't　they　perturb　you？　They　do　me。　There　are　other　powers　at　work　here　besides　us；　Gentle。　Maybe　we　should　be　seeking　them　out；　taking　their　advice。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean　by　powers？　Other　Maestros？〃
　〃No。　I　mean　the　Holy　Mother。　I　think　she　may　be　here　in　Yzordderrex。〃
　〃But　you're　not　certain。〃
　〃Something's　moving　the　waters。〃
　〃If　She　was　here；　wouldn't　you　know　it？　You　were　one　of　her　high　priests。〃
　〃I　was　never　that。　We　worshiped　at　the　Erasure　because　there　was　a　crime　mitted　there。　A　woman　was　taken　from　that　spot　into　the　First。〃
　Floccus　Dado　had　told　Gentle　this　story　as　they'd　driven　across　the　desert；　but　with　so　much　else　to　vex　and　excite　him；　he'd　forgotten　the　tale：　his　mother's　of　course。
　〃Her　name　was　Celestine；　wasn't　it？〃
　〃How　do　you　know？〃
　〃Because　I've　met　her。　She's　still　alive；　back　in　the　Fifth。〃
　The　other　man　narrowed　his　eyes；　as　though　to　sharpen　his　gaze　and　prick　this　if　it　was　a　lie。　But　after　a　few　moments　a　tiny　smile　appeared。
　〃So　you've　had　dealings　with　holy　women；〃　he　said。　〃There's　hope　for　you　yet。〃
　〃You　can　meet　her　yourself；　when　all　this　is　over。〃
　〃I'd　like　that。〃
　〃But　for　now；　we　have　to　hold　to　our　course。　There　can　be　no　deviations。　Do　you　understand？　We　can　go　looking　for　the　Holy　Mother　when　the　Reconciliation's　done；　but　not　before。〃
　〃I　feel　so　damn　naked；〃　Athanasius　said。
　〃We　all　do。　It's　inevitable；　But　there's　something　more　inevitable　still。〃
　〃What's　that？〃
　〃The　wholeness　of　things；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Things　mended。　Things　healed。　That's　more　certain　than　sin；　or　death；　or　darkness。〃
　〃Well　said；〃　Athanasius　replied。　〃Who　taught　you　that？〃
　〃You　should　know。　You　married　me　to　it。〃
　〃Ah。〃　He　smiled。　〃Then　may　I　remind　you　why　a　man　marries？　So　that　he　can　be　made　whole：　by　a　woman。〃
　〃Not　this　man；〃　Gentle　said。
　〃Wasn't　the　mystif　a　woman　to　you？〃
　〃Sometimes。。。。〃
　〃And　when　it　wasn't？〃
　〃It　was　neither　man　nor　woman。　It　was　bliss。〃
　Athanasius　looked　intensely　disfited　by　this。　〃That　sounds　profane　to　me；〃　he　remarked。
　Gentle　had　never　thought　of　the　bond　between　himself　and　the　mystif　in　such　terms　before；　nor　did　he　wele