cb.imajica2-第22部分
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sius raised his head。 One eye was closed beneath a scab of blood and dirt； but there was enough hatred in the other to burn in a dozen eyes。 Meeting its gaze； Gentle advanced no further； but the priest dropped the volume of his prayer to a whisper anyway； preventing the trespasser from hearing the terms of his devotion。 Gentle's ears were not so dulled by the din he didn't catch a few of the phrases； however。 Though the woman represented in so many modes around the circle was clearly the Virgin Mary； she appar…〃 ently went by other names here； or else had sisters。 He heard her called Uma Umagammagi； Mother Imajica； and heard too the name Huzzah had first whispered to him in her cell beneath the maison de sante： Tishalull6。 There was a third； though it took Gentle a little time to be certain he'd understood the naming aright； and that was Jokalaylau。 Athanasius prayed that she'd keep a place for them at her side in the snows of paradise； which made Gentle wonder rather sourly if the man had ever trodden those wastes； that he could think them a heavenly place。
Though the names were strange； the inspiring spirit was not。 Athanasius and his forlorn congregation were praying to the same loving Goddess at whose shrines in the Fifth countless candles were lit every day。 Even Gentle at his most pagan had conceded the presence of that woman in his life and worshiped her the only way he'd known how： with the seduction and temporary possession of her sex。 Had he known a mother or a loving sister he might have learned a better devotion than lust； but he hoped and believed the Holy Woman would forgive him his trespasses； even if Athanasius would not。 The thought forted him。 He would need all the protection he could assemble in the battle that lay ahead； and it was no little solace to think that the Mother Imajica had her worshiping places in the Fifth； where that battle would be fought。
With the ad hoc service over； Athanasius let his congregation go about the business of searching the wreckage。 For his part； he stayed in the middle of the circle； where a few survivors who'd made it that far； but perished； lay sprawled。
〃e here； Maestro；〃 Athanasius said。 〃There's something you should see。〃
Gentle stepped into the circle； expecting Athanasius to show him the corpse of a child or some fragile beauty； broken。 But the face at his feet was male； and far from innocent。
〃You knew him； I think。〃
〃Yes。 His name was Estabrook。〃
Charlie's eyes were closed； his mouth too： sealed up in the moment of his passing。 There was very little sign of physical damage。 Perhaps his heart had simply given out in the excitement。
〃Nikaetomaas said you brought him here because you thought he was me。〃
〃We thought he was a Messiah；〃 Athanasius said。 〃When we realized he wasn't we kept looking； expecting a miracle。 Instead…〃
〃You got me。 For what it's worth； you were right。 I did bring all this destruction with me。 I don't quite know why； and I don't expect you to forgive me for it； but I want you to understand that I take no pleasure in it。 All I want to do is make good the damage I've done。〃
〃And how will you do that； Maestro？〃 Athanasius said。 His one good eye brimmed with tears as he surveyed the bodies。 〃How will you make this good？ Can you resurrect them with what's between your legs？ Is that the trick of it？ Can you fuck them back into life？〃
Gentle made a guttural sound of disgust。
〃Well； that's what you Maestros think； isn't it？ You don't want to suffer； you just want the glory。 You lay your rod on the land； and the land bears fruit。 That's what you think。 But it doesn't work that way。 It's your blood the land wants； it's your sacrifice。 And as long as you deny that； others are going to die in your place。 Believe me； I'd cut my throat now if I thought I could raise these people； but I've been played a wretched trick。 I've the will to do it； but my blood's not worth a damn。 Yours is。' I don't know why。 I wish it weren't。 But it is。〃
〃Would Uma Umagammagi like to see me bleed？〃 Gentle said。 〃Or Tishalulte？ Or Jokalaylau？ Is that what your loving mothers want from this child？〃
〃You don't belong to them。 I don't know who you belong to； but you didn't e from their sweet bodies。〃
〃I must have e from somewhere；〃 Gentle said； voicing that thought for the first time in his life。 〃I've got a purpose in me； and I think God put it there。〃
〃Don't look too far； Maestro。 Your ignorance may be the only defense the rest of us have got against you。 Give up your ambition now； before you find out what you're really capable of。〃
〃I can't。〃
〃Oh； but it's easy；〃 Athanasius said。 〃Kill yourself； Maestro。 Let the land have your blood。 That's the greatest service you could do the Dominions now。〃
There was the bitterest echo； in these words； of a letter he'd read months ago； in another kind of wilderness。
Do this for the women of the world； Vanessa had written。 Slit your lying throat。
Had he really traveled the Dominions simply to have the advice he'd been given by a woman whom he'd cheated in love returned to him？ After all this striving for prehension； was he finally as injurious and fraudulent a Maestro as he was a lover？
Athanasius read the accuracy of this last dart off his target's face and with a feral grin hammered it home。
〃Do it soon； Maestro；〃 he said。 〃There are enough orphans in the Dominions already； without you indulging your ambitions for another day。〃
Gentle let these cruelties go。 〃You married me to the love of my life； Athanasius；〃 he said。 〃I won't ever forget that kindness。〃
〃Poor Pie 'oh' pah；〃 the other man replied； grinding the point home。 〃Another of your victims。 What a poison there must be in you； Maestro。〃
Gentle turned and left the circle without responding； with Athanasius repeating his earlier advice to usher him on his way。
〃Kill yourself soon； Maestro；〃 he said。 〃For you； for Pie； for all of us。 Kill yourself soon。〃
It took Gentle a quarter of an hour to make his way through the ravagement to open ground； hoping as he went that he'd find some vehicle…Floccus'； perhaps…that he could mandeer for the return journey to Yzordderrex。 If he found nothing； it would be a long trek on foot； but that would have to be the way of it。 What little illumination the fires behind him proffered soon dwindled； and he was obliged to search by starlight； which would most probably have failed to show him the vehicle had his path not been redirected by the squeals of Floccus Dado's porcine pet Sighshy^ who； along with her litter； was still inside。 The car had been thrown over in the storm； and so he went to it simply to let the animals out； planning to go on to find another。 But as he struggled with the handle a human face appeared at the steamed…up window。 Floccus was inside and greeted Gentle's appearance with a clamor of relief almost as high…pitched as Sighshy's。 Gentle clambered up onto the side of the car and after much swearing and sweating wrenched the door open with brute force。
〃Oh； you're a sight to behold； Maestro；〃 Floccus said。 〃I thought I was going to suffocate in there。〃
The stench was piercing； and it came with Floccus when he clambered out。 His clothes were caked in the litter's excrement； and Mama's too。
〃How the hell did you get in there？〃 Gentle asked him。
Floccus wiped a turd trail off his spectacles and blinked at his savior through them。
〃When Athanasius told me to summon you； I thought； Something's wrong here； Dado。 You'd better go while you can。 I'd just got into the car when the storm started； and it was simply turned over； with all of us inside。 The windows are unbreakable； and the locks were jammed。 I couldn't get out。〃
〃You were lucky to be in there。〃
〃So I see；〃 Floccus observed； surveying the distant vista of destruction。 〃What happened out here？〃
〃Something came out of the First； in pursuit of Pie 'oh' pah。〃
〃The Unbeheld did this？〃
〃So it would seem。〃
〃Unkind；〃 Floccus said softly； which was surely the understatement of the night。
Floccus lifted Sighshy and her litter…two of which had perished when their mother fell on them…out of the vehicle； then he and Gentle set to the task of putting it back on four wheels。 It took some doing； but Floccus made up in strength what he lacked in height； and between the two of them the job was done。
Gentle had made plain his intention to return to Yzordderrex but wasn't certain of Floccus's intentions until the engine was running。 Then he said； 〃Are you ing with me？〃
〃I should stay；〃 Floccus replied。 There was a fretful pause。 〃But I've never been much good with death。〃
〃You said the same thing about sex。〃
〃It's true。〃
〃That doesn't leave much； does it？〃
〃Would you prefer to go without me； Maestro？〃
〃Not at all。 If you want to e； e。 But let's get going。 I want to be in Yzordderrex by dawn。〃
〃Why； what happens at dawn？〃 Floccus said； a superstitious flutter in his voice。
〃It's a new day。〃
〃Should we be grateful for that？〃 the other man inquired； as though he sniffed some profound wisdom in the Maestro's reply but couldn't quite grasp it。
〃Indeed we should； FIoccus； indeed we should。 For the day； and for the chance。〃
〃What。。。 er。。。 what chance would that be exactl
