lmb.shardsofhonor-第21部分

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　〃We　can　keep　this　up　for　about　ten　more　minutes；〃　the　engineer　called　up。
　〃All　right。　Save　enough　power　to　slag　it　when　you're　done。　If　we're　captured　mand　doesn't　want　one　molecule　left　connected　to　another　for　the　Barrayarans　to　puzzle　back　together。〃
　〃What　a　crime。　It's　such　a　beautiful　machine。　I'm　dying　for　a　look　inside。〃
　You　might；　too；　if　the　Barrayarans　capture　us；　she　thought。　She　directed　all　her　ship's　eyes　back　along　their　route。　Far；　far　back　at　the　wormhole　exit；　the　first　real　Betan　freighter　winked　into　existence　and　began　to　boost　for　Escobar；　unopposed。　It　was　the　newest　addition　to　the　merchant　fleet；　stripped　of　weapons　and　shields；　rebuilt　to　do　two　things　only　now；　carry　a　heavy　payload　and　go　like　hell。　Then　the　second；　and　the　third。　That　was　it。　They　were　away；　and　with　a　start　the　Barrayarans　could　never　hope　to　close。
　The　Betan　dreadnought　exploded　with　a　spectacular　radioactive　light　show。　Unfortunately；　there　was　no　way　to　fake　debris。　I　wonder　how　long　it　will　take　the　Barrayarans　to　figure　out　they've　been　had？　she　thought。　I　sincerely　hope　they　have　a　sense　of　humor。。。
　Her　ship　drifted　dead　in　space　now；　its　power　nearly　depleted。　She　felt　light　in　the　head；　and　realized　it　wasn't　psychosomatic。　The　artificial　gravity　was　failing。
　They　rendezvoused　with　the　engineer　and　his　two　assistants　at　the　shuttle　hatch；　traveling　with　gazelle…like　leaps　that　turned　into　bird…like　swoops　as　the　gravity　gave　up　the　ghost。　The　shuttle　which　was　to　be　their　lifeboat　was　a　stripped…down　model；　cramped　and　fortless。　Into　it　they　floated　and　sealed　the　hatch。　The　pilot　slid　into　the　control　chair　and　lowered　his　headset；　and　the　shuttle　kicked　away　from　the　side　of　their　dying　ship。
　The　engineer　floated　to　her　and　handed　her　a　little　black　box。　〃I　thought　you　ought　to　do　the　honors；　Captain。〃
　〃Ha。　I　bet　you　wouldn't　kill　your　own　dinner；　either；〃　she　replied；　trying　to　lighten　the　mood。　They　had　served　their　ship　together　for　barely　five　hours；　but　it　still　hurt。　〃Are　we　out　of　range；　Parnell？〃
　〃Yes；　Captain。〃
　〃Gentlemen；〃　she　said；　and　paused；　gathering　them　in　by　eye；　〃I　thank　you　all。　Look　away　from　the　left　port；　please。〃
　She　pulled　the　lever　on　the　box。　There　was　a　soundless　flash　of　brilliant　blue　light；　and　a　general　rush　for　the　tiny　port　immediately　after　to　see　the　last　red　glow　as　the　ship　folded　into　itself；　carrying　its　military　secrets　to　a　wandering　grave。
　They　shook　hands　solemnly　all　around；　some　right　side　up；　some　upside　down；　some　floating　at　other　angles；　then　secured　themselves。　Cordelia　pulled　herself　into　the　navigation　station　beside　Parnell；　strapped　in；　and　ran　a　quick　check　of　its　systems。
　〃Now　es　the　tricky　part；〃　murmured　Parnell。　〃I'd　still　be　happier　with　a　straight　max　boost　and　try　to　outrun　'em。〃
　〃We　could　get　away　from　those　fat　battlewagons；　maybe；〃　Cordelia　conceded。　〃But　their　fast　couriers　would　eat　us　alive。　At　least　we　look　like　a　rock；〃　she　added；　thinking　of　the　artistic；　probe…reflective　camouflage　that　encased　the　lifeboat　like　a　shell。
　Several　minutes　of　silence　followed；　as　she　concentrated　on　her　work。　〃All　right；〃　she　spoke　at　last；　〃let's　sneak　out　of　this　neighborhood。　It's　going　to　be　overcrowded　very　soon。〃
　She　did　not　fight　the　acceleration；　but　let　it　press　her　back　into　her　seat。　Tired。　She　hadn't　thought　it　possible　to　be　more　tired　than　she　was　afraid。　This　war　nonsense　was　a　great　psychological　education。　That　chronometer　had　to　be　wrong。　Surely　it　had　been　a　year；　and　not　an　hour。。。　A　small　light　blinked　on　her　control　panel。　Fear　washed　the　weariness　back　out　of　her　body　with　a　rush。
　〃Kill　everything；〃　she　ordered；　tapping　controls　herself；　and　was　instantly　plunged　into　weightless　darkness。　〃Parnell；　give　us　a　little　realistic　tumble。〃　Her　inner　ear　and　a　greasy　queasiness　in　her　belly　told　her　she　was　obeyed。
　Now　her　sense　of　time　began　to　be　truly　disordered。　Darkness　and　silence　reigned；　but　for　an　occasional　whisper　of　movement；　fabric　on　plastic；　as　someone　stirred　in　his　seat。　In　her　imagination　she　felt　the　Barrayaran　probes　touching　her　ship；　touching　her；　icy　fingers　up　her　back。　I　am　a　rock。　I　am　a　void。　I　am　a　silence。。。　In　the　rear　the　silence　was　broken　by　the　noise　of　someone　vomiting；　and　some　muffled　swearing。　Blast　this　tumble。　Hope　he　had　time　to　grab　a　bag。。。
　There　came　a　jerk　and　a　pressure　of　weight　at　an　odd　angle。　Parnell　spat　an　oath　like　a　sob。　〃Tractor　tow！　That's　it。〃
　She　sighed　without　relief；　and　reached　out　to　key　the　shuttle　back　to　life；　wincing　at　the　blinding　brightness　of　the　little　lights。　〃Well；　let's　see　what's　caught　us。〃
　Her　hands　flicked　over　the　panels。　She　took　a　glance　at　her　exterior　monitors；　and　hastily　pressed　the　red　button　that　crashed　the　lifeboat's　puter　memory　and　recognition　codes。
　〃What　the　hell　have　we　got　out　there？〃　asked　the　engineer　anxiously；　noting　the　gesture　as　he　made　his　way　to　her　shoulder。
　〃Two　cruisers　and　a　fast　courier；〃　she　informed　him。　〃We　appear　to　be　slightly　outnumbered。〃
　He　snorted　unhappily。
　A　disembodied　voice　blared　from　the　m；　at　too　great　a　volume；　she　turned　it　down　quickly。
　〃。。。　not　acknowledge　surrender；　we　will　destroy　you。〃
　〃This　is　Lifeboat　Shuttle　A5A；〃　she　responded；　modulating　her　voice　carefully。　〃Captain　Cordelia　Naismith；　Betan　Expeditionary　Force；　manding。　We　are　an　unarmed　lifeboat。〃
　The　m　emitted　a　surprised　〃Peh！〃　and　the　voice　added；　〃Another　damned　woman！　You　people　are　slow　learners。〃
　There　was　an　unintelligible　murmur　in　the　background；　and　the　voice　returned　to　its　original　official　tone。　〃You　will　be　taken　in　tow。　At　the　first　sign　of　resistance；　you　will　be　obliterated。　Understood？〃
　〃Acknowledged；〃　Cordelia　responded。　〃We　surrender。〃
　Parnell　shook　his　head　angrily。　She　killed　the　m　and　raised　an　eyebrow。
　〃I　think　we　should　try　and　make　a　break；〃　he　said。
　〃No。　These　guys　are　professional　paranoids。　The　sanest　one　I　ever　met　didn't　like　being　in　a　room　with　a　closed　door…claimed　you　never　knew　what　was　on　the　other　side。　If　they　say　they'll　shoot；　you'd　better　believe　'em。〃
　Parnell　and　the　engineer　exchanged　a　look。　〃Go　ahead；　Nell；〃　said　the　engineer。　〃Tell　her。〃
　Parnell　cleared　his　throat；　and　moistened　dry　lips。　〃We　wanted　to　let　you　know；　Captain…that　if　you　think；　uh；　blowing　up　the　lifeboat　might　be　the　best　thing　for　all　concerned；　we're　with　you。　Nobody　else　is　looking　forward　to　being　taken　prisoner　either。〃
　Cordelia　blinked　at　this　offer。　〃That's…very　courageous　of　you；　Pilot　Officer；　but　totally　unnecessary。　Don't　flatter　yourself。　We　were　handpicked　for　our　ignorance；　not　our　knowledge。　You　all　only　have　guesses　about　what　was　aboard　that　convoy；　and　even　I　don't　know　any　technical　details。　If　we　cooperate　on　the　surface；　we've　at　least　some　chance　of　getting　through　this　alive。〃
　〃It…wasn't　spilling　intelligence　we　were　thinking　about；　ma'am。　It's　their　other　habits。〃
　A　sticky　silence　fell。　Cordelia　sighed；　spiraling　in　a　vortex　of　grieving　doubt。　〃It's　all　right；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃Their　reputation　is　way　overblown。　Quite　decent　fellows；　some　of　them。〃　Especially　one；　her　mind　mocked。　And　even　assuming　he's　still　alive；　do　you　really　think　you　could　find　him　in　all　this　mess？　Or　finding　him；　save　him　from　the　gifts　you　yourself　have　brought　from　hell's　hardware　store　without　betraying　your　duty？　Or　is　this　a　secret　suicide　pact？　Do　you　even　know　yourself？　Know　thyself。
　Parnell；　watching　her　face；　shook　his　head　grimly。　〃You　sure？〃
　〃I've　never　killed　anybody　in　my　life。　I'm　not　going　to　start　with　people　on　my　own　side；　for　pity's　sake。〃
　Parnell　acknowledged　the　justice　of　this　with　a　little　quizzical　shrug；　not　quite　concealing　an　underlying　relief。
　〃Anyway；　I've　got　things　to　live　for。　This　war　can't　last　forever。〃
　〃Somebody　back　home？〃　he　asked；　and　as　her　eyes　turned　to　the　probe　readouts；　added　wisely；　〃Or　out　there？〃
　〃Uh；　yeah。　Out　there　somewhere。〃
　He　shook　his　head　in　sympathy。　〃That's　a　tough　one。〃　He　studied　her　still　profile；　and　added　encouragingly；　〃But　you're　right。　The　big　boys　will　blast　those　bastards　out　of　the　sky　sooner　or　later。〃
　She　gave　vent　to　a　small；　mechanical；　〃Ha；〃　and　massaged　her　face　with　her　fingertips；　trying　to　rub　out　the　tension。　She　had　a　sudden　waking　vision　of　a　great　warship　cracked　open；　spilling　its　living　guts　like　some　monstrous　seedpod。　Frozen；　sterile　seeds；　adrift　on　no　wind；　bloated　from　depression　and　turning　forever。　Could　one　recognize　a　face；　after　that？　she　wondered。　She　turned　her　chair　half　away　from　Parnell；　signifying　an　end　to　the　conversation。
　A　Barrayaran　fast　courier　took　them　in　tow　within　an　hour。
　It　was　the　familiar　smell　that　hit　her　first；　the　metal…and…machine…oil；　ozone…redolent；　locker…room　smell　of　a　Barrayaran　warship。　The　two　tall　soldiers　in　black　who　escorted　her；　each　keeping　a　hand　firmly　on　her　elbow；　maneuvered　her　through　one　last　narrow　oval　doorway　to　what　she　guessed　must　be　the　main　prison　area　of　the　great　flagship。　She　and　her　four　men　were　stripped　ruthlessly；　searched　in　minute　and　paranoid　detail；　medically　examined；　holographed；　retinaprinted；　identified；　and　issued　shapeless　orange　pajamas。　Her　men　were　led　away　s