雨果 悲惨世界 英文版1-第59部分

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r；　and　began　to　pace　the　room：
　　〃e；〃　said　he；　〃let　us　think　no　more　about　it；　my　resolve　is　taken！〃　but　he　felt　no　joy。
　　Quite　the　reverse。
　　One　can　no　more　prevent　thought　from　recurring　to　an　idea　than　one　can　the　sea　from　returning　to　the　shore：
　　the　sailor　calls　it　the　tide；　the　guilty　man　calls　it　remorse；　God　upheaves　the　soul　as　he　does　the　ocean。
　　After　the　expiration　of　a　few　moments；　do　what　he　would；　he　resumed　the　gloomy　dialogue　in　which　it　was　he　who　spoke　and　he　who　listened；　saying　that　which　he　would　have　preferred　to　ignore；　and　listened　to　that　which　he　would　have　preferred　not　to　hear；　yielding　to　that　mysterious　power　which　said　to　him：
　　〃Think！〃　as　it　said　to　another　condemned　man；　two　thousand　years　ago；　〃March　on！〃
　　Before　proceeding　further；　and　in　order　to　make　ourselves　fully　understood；　let　us　insist　upon　one　necessary　observation。
　　It　is　certain　that　people　do　talk　to　themselves；　there　is　no　living　being　who　has　not　done　it。
　　It　may　even　be　said　that　the　word　is　never　a　more　magnificent　mystery　than　when　it　goes　from　thought　to　conscience　within　a　man；　and　when　it　returns　from　conscience　to　thought；　it　is　in　this　sense　only　that　the　words　so　often　employed　in　this　chapter；　he　said；　he　exclaimed；　must　be　understood；　one　speaks　to　one's　self；　talks　to　one's　self；　exclaims　to　one's　self　without　breaking　the　external　silence；　there　is　a　great　tumult；　everything　about　us　talks　except　the　mouth。
　　The　realities　of　the　soul　are　none　the　less　realities　because　they　are　not　visible　and　palpable。
　　So　he　asked　himself　where　he　stood。
　　He　interrogated　himself　upon　that　〃settled　resolve。〃
　　He　confessed　to　himself　that　all　that　he　had　just　arranged　in　his　mind　was　monstrous；　that　〃to　let　things　take　their　course；　to　let　the　good　God　do　as　he　liked；〃　was　simply　horrible；　to　allow　this　error　of　fate　and　of　men　to　be　carried　out；　not　to　hinder　it；　to　lend　himself　to　it　through　his　silence；　to　do　nothing；　in　short；　was　to　do　everything！　that　this　was　hypocritical　baseness　in　the　last　degree！　that　it　was　a　base；　cowardly；　sneaking；　abject；　hideous　crime！
　　For　the　first　time　in　eight　years；　the　wretched　man　had　just　tasted　the　bitter　savor　of　an　evil　thought　and　of　an　evil　action。
　　He　spit　it　out　with　disgust。
　　He　continued　to　question　himself。
　　He　asked　himself　severely　what　he　had　meant　by　this；　〃My　object　is　attained！〃
　　He　declared　to　himself　that　his　life　really　had　an　object；　but　what　object？　To　conceal　his　name？
　　To　deceive　the　police？
　　Was　it　for　so　petty　a　thing　that　he　had　done　all　that　he　had　done？
　　Had　he　not　another　and　a　grand　object；　which　was　the　true　oneto　save；　not　his　person；　but　his　soul；　to　bee　honest　and　good　once　more；　to　be　a　just　man？　Was　it　not　that　above　all；　that　alone；　which　he　had　always　desired；　which　the　Bishop　had　enjoined　upon　himto　shut　the　door　on　his　past？　But　he　was　not　shutting　it！　great　God！　he　was　re…opening　it　by　mitting　an　infamous　action！
　　He　was　being　a　thief　once　more；　and　the　most　odious　of　thieves！
　　He　was　robbing　another　of　his　existence；　his　life；　his　peace；　his　place　in　the　sunshine。　He　was　being　an　assassin。
　　He　was　murdering；　morally　murdering；　a　wretched　man。
　　He　was　inflicting　on　him　that　frightful　living　death；　that　death　beneath　the　open　sky；　which　is　called　the　galleys。　On　the　other　hand；　to　surrender　himself　to　save　that　man；　struck　down　with　so　melancholy　an　error；　to　resume　his　own　name；　to　bee　once　more；　out　of　duty；　the　convict　Jean　Valjean；　that　was；　in　truth；　to　achieve　his　resurrection；　and　to　close　forever　that　hell　whence　he　had　just　emerged；　to　fall　back　there　in　appearance　was　to　escape　from　it　in　reality。
　　This　must　be　done！
　　He　had　done　nothing　if　he　did　not　do　all　this；　his　whole　life　was　useless；　all　his　penitence　was　wasted。
　　There　was　no　longer　any　need　of　saying；　〃What　is　the　use？〃
　　He　felt　that　the　Bishop　was　there；　that　the　Bishop　was　present　all　the　more　because　he　was　dead；　that　the　Bishop　was　gazing　fixedly　at　him；　that　henceforth　Mayor　Madeleine；　with　all　his　virtues；　would　be　abominable　to　him；　and　that　the　convict　Jean　Valjean　would　be　pure　and　admirable　in　his　sight；　that　men　beheld　his　mask；　but　that　the　Bishop　saw　his　face；　that　men　saw　his　life；　but　that　the　Bishop　beheld　his　conscience。　So　he　must　go　to　Arras；　deliver　the　false　Jean　Valjean；　and　denounce　the　real　one。
　　Alas！　that　was　the　greatest　of　sacrifices；　the　most　poignant　of　victories；　the　last　step　to　take；　but　it　must　be　done。　Sad　fate！　he　would　enter　into　sanctity　only　in　the　eyes　of　God　when　he　returned　to　infamy　in　the　eyes　of　men。
　　〃Well；　said　he；　〃let　us　decide　upon　this；　let　us　do　our　duty；　let　us　save　this　man。〃
　　He　uttered　these　words　aloud；　without　perceiving　that　he　was　speaking　aloud。
　　He　took　his　books；　verified　them；　and　put　them　in　order。　He　flung　in　the　fire　a　bundle　of　bills　which　he　had　against　petty　and　embarrassed　tradesmen。
　　He　wrote　and　sealed　a　letter；　and　on　the　envelope　it　might　have　been　read；　had　there　been　any　one　in　his　chamber　at　the　moment；　To　Monsieur　Laffitte；　Banker；　Rue　d'Artois；　Paris。
　　He　drew　from　his　secretary　a　pocket…book　which　contained　several　bank…notes　and　the　passport　of　which　he　had　made　use　that　same　year　when　he　went　to　the　elections。
　　Any　one　who　had　seen　him　during　the　execution　of　these　various　acts；　into　which　there　entered　such　grave　thought；　would　have　had　no　suspicion　of　what　was　going　on　within　him。
　　Only　occasionally　did　his　lips　move；　at　other　times　he　raised　his　head　and　fixed　his　gaze　upon　some　point　of　the　wall；　as　though　there　existed　at　that　point　something　which　he　wished　to　elucidate　or　interrogate。
　　When　he　had　finished　the　letter　to　M。　Laffitte；　he　put　it　into　his　pocket；　together　with　the　pocket…book；　and　began　his　walk　once　more。
　　His　revery　had　not　swerved　from　its　course。
　　He　continued　to　see　his　duty　clearly；　written　in　luminous　letters；　which　flamed　before　his　eyes　and　changed　its　place　as　he　altered　the　direction　of　his　glance：
　　〃Go！
　　Tell　your　name！
　　Denounce　yourself！〃


BOOK　SEVENTH。THE　CHAMPMATHIEU　AFFAIR
CHAPTER　III（2）　
　　In　the　same　way　he　beheld；　as　though　they　had　passed　before　him　in　visible　forms；　the　two　ideas　which　had；　up　to　that　time；　formed　the　double　rule　of　his　soul；the　concealment　of　his　name；　the　sanctification　of　his　life。
　　For　the　first　time　they　appeared　to　him　as　absolutely　distinct；　and　he　perceived　the　distance　which　separated　them。
　　He　recognized　the　fact　that　one　of　these　ideas　was；　necessarily；　good；　while　the　other　might　bee　bad；　that　the　first　was　self…devotion；　and　that　the　other　was　personality；　that　the　one　said；　my　neighbor；　and　that　the　other　said；　myself；　that　one　emanated　from　the　light；　and　the　other　from　darkness。
　　They　were　antagonistic。
　　He　saw　them　in　conflict。
　　In　proportion　as　he　meditated；　they　grew　before　the　eyes　of　his　spirit。　They　had　now　attained　colossal　statures；　and　it　seemed　to　him　that　he　beheld　within　himself；　in　that　infinity　of　which　we　were　recently　speaking；　in　the　midst　of　the　darkness　and　the　lights；　a　goddess　and　a　giant　contending。
　　He　was　filled　with　terror；　but　it　seemed　to　him　that　the　good　thought　was　getting　the　upper　hand。
　　He　felt　that　he　was　on　the　brink　of　the　second　decisive　crisis　of　his　conscience　and　of　his　destiny；　that　the　Bishop　had　marked　the　first　phase　of　his　new　life；　and　that　Champmathieu　marked　the　second。　After　the　grand　crisis；　the　grand　test。
　　But　the　fever；　allayed　for　an　instant；　gradually　resumed　possession　of　him。
　　A　thousand　thoughts　traversed　his　mind；　but　they　continued　to　fortify　him　in　his　resolution。
　　One　moment　he　said　to　himself　that　he　was；　perhaps；　taking　the　matter　too　keenly；　that；　after　all；　this　Champmathieu　was　not　interesting；　and　that　he　had　actually　been　guilty　of　theft。
　　He　answered　himself：
　　〃If　this　man　has；　indeed；　stolen　a　few　apples；　that　means　a　month　in　prison。
　　It　is　a　long　way　from　that　to　the　galleys。　And　who　knows？
　　Did　he　steal？
　　Has　it　been　proved？
　　The　name　of　Jean　Valjean　overwhelms　him；　and　seems　to　dispense　with　proofs。　Do　not　the　attorneys　for　the　Crown　always　proceed　in　this　manner？　He　is　supposed　to　be　a　thief　because　he　is　known　to　be　a　convict。〃
　　In　another　instant　the　thought　had　occurred　to　him　that；　when　he　denounced　himself；　the　heroism　of　his　deed　might；　perhaps；　be　taken　into　consideration；　and　his　honest　life　for　the　last　seven　years；　and　what　he　had　done　for　the　district；　and　that　they　would　have　mercy　on　him。
　　But　this　supposition　vanished　very　quickly；　and　he　smiled　bitterly　as　he　remembered　that　the　theft　of　the　forty　sous　from　little　Gervais　put　him　in　the　position　of　a　man　guilty　of　a　second　offence　after　conviction；　that　this　affair　would　certainly　e　up；　and；　according　to　the　precise　terms　of　the　law；　would　render　him　liable　to　penal　servitude　for　life。
　　He　turned　aside　from　all　illusions；　detached　himself　more　and　more　from　earth；　and　sought　strength　and　consolation　elsewhere。　He　told　himself　that　he　must　do　his　duty；　that　perhaps　he　should　not　be　more　unhappy　after　doing　his　duty　than　after　having　avoided　it；　that