道林格雷的画像_奥斯卡·王尔德-第42部分

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〃they　are　practical。〃

〃they　are　more　cunning　than　practical。　when　they　make　up　their　ledger；　they　balance　stupidity　by　wealth；　and　vice　by　hypocrisy。〃

〃still；　we　have　done　great　things。〃

〃great　things　have　been　thrust　on　us；　gladys。〃

〃we　have　carried　their　burden。〃

〃only　as　far　as　the　stock　exchange。〃

she　shook　her　head。　〃i　believe　in　the　race；〃　she　cried。

〃it　represents　the　survival　of　the　pushing。〃

〃it　has　development。〃

〃decay　fascinates　me　more。〃

〃what　of　art？〃　she　asked。

〃it　is　a　malady。〃

〃love？〃

〃an　illusion。〃

〃religion？〃

〃the　fashionable　substitute　for　belief。〃

〃you　are　a　sceptic。〃

〃never！　scepticism　is　the　beginning　of　faith。〃

〃what　are　you？〃

〃to　define　is　to　limit。〃

〃give　me　a　clue。〃

〃threads　snap。　you　would　lose　your　way　in　the　labyrinth。〃

〃you　bewilder　me。　let　us　talk　of　some　one　else。〃

〃our　host　is　a　delightful　topic。　years　ago　he　was　christened　prince　charming。〃

〃ah！　dont　remind　me　of　that；〃　cried　dorian　gray。

〃our　host　is　rather　horrid　this　evening；〃　answered　the　duchess；　colouring。　〃i　believe　he　thinks　that　monmouth　married　me　on　purely　scientific　principles　as　the　best　specimen　he　could　find　of　a　modern　butterfly。〃

〃well；　i　hope　he　wont　stick　pins　into　you；　duchess；〃　laughed　dorian。

〃oh！　my　maid　does　that　already；　mr。　gray；　when　she　is　annoyed　with　me。〃

〃and　what　does　she　get　annoyed　with　you　about；　duchess？〃

〃for　the　most　trivial　things；　mr。　gray；　i　assure　you。　usually　because　i　e　in　at　ten　minutes　to　nine　and　tell　her　that　i　must　be　dressed　by　half…past　eight。〃

〃how　unreasonable　of　her！　you　should　give　her　warning。〃

〃i　darent；　mr。　gray。　why；　she　invents　hats　for　me。　you　remember　the　one　i　wore　at　lady　hilstones　garden…party？　you　dont；　but　it　is　nice　of　you　to　pretend　that　you　do。　well；　she　made　if　out　of　nothing。　all　good　hats　are　made　out　of　nothing。〃

〃like　all　good　reputations；　gladys；〃　interrupted　lord　henry。　〃every　effect　that　one　produces　gives　one　an　enemy。　to　be　popular　one　must　be　a　mediocrity。〃

〃not　with　women；〃　said　the　duchess；　shaking　her　head；　〃and　women　rule　the　world。　i　assure　you　we　cant　bear　mediocrities。　we　women；　as　some　one　says；　love　with　our　ears；　just　as　you　men　love　with　your　eyes；　if　you　ever　love　at　all。〃

〃it　seems　to　me　that　we　never　do　anything　else；〃　murmured　dorian。

〃ah！　then；　you　never　really　love；　mr。　gray；〃　answered　the　duchess　with　mock　sadness。

〃my　dear　gladys！〃　cried　lord　henry。　〃how　can　you　say　that？　romance　lives　by　repetition；　and　repetition　converts　an　appetite　into　an　art。　besides；　each　time　that　one　loves　is　the　only　time　one　has　ever　loved。　difference　of　object　does　not　alter　singleness　of　passion。　it　merely　intensifies　it。　we　can　have　in　life　but　one　great　experience　at　best；　and　the　secret　of　life　is　to　reproduce　that　experience　as　often　as　possible。〃

〃even　when　one　has　been　wounded　by　it；　harry？〃　asked　the　duchess　after　a　pause。

〃especially　when　one　has　been　wounded　by　it；〃　answered　lord　henry。

the　duchess　turned　and　looked　at　dorian　gray　with　a　curious　expression　in　her　eyes。　〃what　do　you　say　to　that；　mr。　gray？〃　she　inquired。

dorian　hesitated　for　a　moment。　then　he　threw　his　head　back　and　laughed。　〃i　always　agree　with　harry；　duchess。〃

〃even　when　he　is　wrong？〃

〃harry　is　never　wrong；　duchess。〃

〃and　does　his　philosophy　make　you　happy？〃

〃i　have　never　searched　for　happiness。　who　wants　happiness？　i　have　searched　for　pleasure。〃

〃and　found　it；　mr。　gray？〃

〃often。　too　often。〃

the　duchess　sighed。　〃i　am　searching　for　peace；〃　she　said；　〃and　if　i　dont　go　and　dress；　i　shall　have　none　this　evening。〃

〃let　me　get　you　some　orchids；　duchess；〃　cried　dorian；　starting　to　his　feet　and　walking　down　the　conservatory。

〃you　are　flirting　disgracefully　with　him；〃　said　lord　henry　to　his　cousin。　〃you　had　better　take　care。　he　is　very　fascinating。〃

〃if　he　were　not；　there　would　be　no　battle。〃

〃greek　meets　greek；　then？〃

〃i　am　on　the　side　of　the　trojans。　they　fought　for　a　woman。〃

〃they　were　defeated。〃

〃there　are　worse　things　than　capture；〃　she　answered。

〃you　gallop　with　a　loose　rein。〃

〃pace　gives　life；〃　was　the　riposte。

〃i　shall　write　it　in　my　diary　to…night。〃

〃what？〃

〃that　a　burnt　child　loves　the　fire。〃

〃i　am　not　even　singed。　my　wings　are　untouched。〃

〃you　use　them　for　everything；　except　flight。〃

〃courage　has　passed　from　men　to　women。　it　is　a　new　experience　for　us。〃

〃you　have　a　rival。〃

〃who？〃

he　laughed。　〃lady　narborough；〃　he　whispered。　〃she　perfectly　adores　him。〃

〃you　fill　me　with　apprehension。　the　appeal　to　antiquity　is　fatal　to　us　who　are　romanticists。〃

〃romanticists！　you　have　all　the　methods　of　science。〃

〃men　have　educated　us。〃

〃but　not　explained　you。〃

〃describe　us　as　a　sex；〃　was　her　challenge。

〃sphinxes　without　secrets。〃

she　looked　at　him；　smiling。　〃how　long　mr。　gray　is！〃　she　said。　〃let　us　go　and　help　him。　i　have　not　yet　told　him　the　colour　of　my　frock。〃

〃ah！　you　must　suit　your　frock　to　his　flowers；　gladys。〃

〃that　would　be　a　premature　surrender。〃

〃romantic　art　begins　with　its　climax。〃

〃i　must　keep　an　opportunity　for　retreat。〃

〃in　the　parthian　manner？〃

〃they　found　safety　in　the　desert。　i　could　not　do　that。〃

〃women　are　not　always　allowed　a　choice；〃　he　answered；　but　hardly　had　he　finished　the　sentence　before　from　the　far　end　of　the　conservatory　came　a　stifled　groan；　followed　by　the　dull　sound　of　a　heavy　fall。　everybody　started　up。　the　duchess　stood　motionless　in　horror。　and　with　fear　in　his　eyes；　lord　henry　rushed　through　the　flapping　palms　to　find　dorian　gray　lying　face　downwards　on　the　tiled　floor　in　a　deathlike　swoon。

he　was　carried　at　once　into　the　blue　drawing…room　and　laid　upon　one　of　the　sofas。　after　a　short　time；　he　came　to　himself　and　looked　round　with　a　dazed　expression。

〃what　has　happened？〃　he　asked。　〃oh！　i　remember。　am　i　safe　here；　harry？〃　he　began　to　tremble。

〃my　dear　dorian；〃　answered　lord　henry；　〃you　merely　fainted。　that　was　all。　you　must　have　overtired　yourself。　you　had　better　not　e　down　to　dinner。　i　will　take　your　place。〃

〃no；　i　will　e　down；〃　he　said；　struggling　to　his　feet。　〃i　would　rather　e　down。　i　must　not　be　alone。〃

he　went　to　his　room　and　dressed。　there　was　a　wild　recklessness　of　gaiety　in　his　manner　as　he　sat　at　table；　but　now　and　then　a　thrill　of　terror　ran　through　him　when　he　remembered　that；　pressed　against　the　window　of　the　conservatory；　like　a　white　handkerchief；　he　had　seen　the　face　of　james　vane　watching　him。

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Chapter　18

澶В诲�︾敓；灏彛昏�矗弧ǎ荤綉
chapter　18

the　next　day　he　did　not　leave　the　house；　and；　indeed；　spent　most　of　the　time　in　his　own　room；　sick　with　a　wild　terror　of　dying；　and　yet　indifferent　to　life　itself。　the　consciousness　of　being　hunted；　snared；　tracked　down；　had　begun　to　dominate　him。　if　the　tapestry　did　but　tremble　in　the　wind；　he　shook。　the　dead　leaves　that　were　blown　against　the　leaded　panes　seemed　to　him　like　his　own　wasted　resolutions　and　wild　regrets。　when　he　closed　his　eyes；　he　saw　again　the　sailors　face　peering　through　the　mist…stained　glass；　and　horror　seemed　once　more　to　lay　its　hand　upon　his　heart。

but　perhaps　it　had　been　only　his　fancy　that　had　called　vengeance　out　of　the　night　and　set　the　hideous　shapes　of　punishment　before　him。　actual　life　was　chaos；　but　there　was　something　terribly　logical　in　the　imagination。　it　was　the　imagination　that　set　remorse　to　dog　the　feet　of　sin。　it　was　the　imagination　that　made　each　crime　bear　its　misshapen　brood。　in　the　mon　world　of　fact　the　wicked　were　not　punished；　nor　the　good　rewarded。　success　was　given　to　the　strong；　failure　thrust　upon　the　weak。　that　was　all。　besides；　had　any　stranger　been　prowling　round　the　house；　he　would　have　been　seen　by　the　servants　or　the　keepers。　had　any　foot…marks　been　found　on　the　flower…beds；　the　gardeners　would　have　reported　it。　yes；　it　had　been　merely　fancy。　sibyl　vanes　brother　had　not　e　back　to　kill　him。　he　had　sailed　away　in　his　ship　to　founder　in　some　winter　sea。　from　him；　at　any　rate；　he　was　safe。　why；　the　man　did　not　know　who　he　was；　could　not　know　who　he　was。　the　mask　of　youth　had　saved　him。

and　yet　if　it　had　been　merely　an　illusion；　how　terrible　it　was　to　think　that　conscience　could　raise　such　fearful　phantoms；　and　give　them　visible　form；　and　make　them　move　before　one！　what　sort　of　life　would　his　be　if；　day　and　night；　shadows　of　his　crime　were　to　peer　at　him　from　silent　corners；　to　mock　him　from　secret　places；　to　whisper　in　his　ear　as　he　sat　at　the　feast；　to　wake　him　with　icy　fingers　as　he　lay　asleep！　as　the　thought　crept　through　his　brain；　he　grew　pale　with　terror；　and　the　air　seemed　to　him　to　have　bee　suddenly　colder。　oh！　in　what　a　wild　hour　of　madness　he　had　killed　his　friend！　how　ghastly　the　mere　memory　of　the　scene！　he　saw　it　all　again。　each　hideous　detail　came　back　to　him　with　added　horror。　out　of　the　black　cave　of　time；　terrible　and　swathed　in　scarlet；　rose　the　image　of　his　sin。　when　lord　henry　came　in　at　six　oclock；　he　found　him　crying　as　one　whose　heart　will　break。

it　was　not　till　the　third　day　that　he　ventured　to　go　out。　there　was　something　in　the　clear；　pine…scented　air　of　that　winter　morning　that　seemed　to　bring　him　back　his　joyousness　and　his　ardour　for　life。　but　it　was　not