道林格雷的画像_奥斯卡·王尔德-第18部分

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ink　so　at　first；　but　i　admit　it　now。　the　gods　made　sibyl　vane　for　you。　without　her　you　would　have　been　inplete。〃

〃thanks；　basil；〃　answered　dorian　gray；　pressing　his　hand。　〃i　knew　that　you　would　understand　me。　harry　is　so　cynical；　he　terrifies　me。　but　here　is　the　orchestra。　it　is　quite　dreadful；　but　it　only　lasts　for　about　five　minutes。　then　the　curtain　rises；　and　you　will　see　the　girl　to　whom　i　am　going　to　give　all　my　life；　to　whom　i　have　given　everything　that　is　good　in　me。〃

a　quarter　of　an　hour　afterwards；　amidst　an　extraordinary　turmoil　of　applause；　sibyl　vane　stepped　on　to　the　stage。　yes；　she　was　certainly　lovely　to　look　at　one　of　the　loveliest　creatures；　lord　henry　thought；　that　he　had　ever　seen。　there　was　something　of　the　fawn　in　her　shy　grace　and　startled　eyes。　a　faint　blush；　like　the　shadow　of　a　rose　in　a　mirror　of　silver；　came　to　her　cheeks　as　she　glanced　at　the　crowded　enthusiastic　house。　she　stepped　back　a　few　paces　and　her　lips　seemed　to　tremble。　basil　hallward　leaped　to　his　feet　and　began　to　applaud。　motionless；　and　as　one　in　a　dream；　sat　dorian　gray；　gazing　at　her。　lord　henry　peered　through　his　glasses；　murmuring；　〃charming！　charming！〃

the　scene　was　the　hall　of　capulets　house；　and　romeo　in　his　pilgrims　dress　had　entered　with　mercutio　and　his　other　friends。　the　band；　such　as　it　was；　struck　up　a　few　bars　of　music；　and　the　dance　began。　through　the　crowd　of　ungainly；　shabbily　dressed　actors；　sibyl　vane　moved　like　a　creature　from　a　finer　world。　her　body　swayed；　while　she　danced；　as　a　plant　sways　in　the　water。　the　curves　of　her　throat　were　the　curves　of　a　white　lily。　her　hands　seemed　to　be　made　of　cool　ivory。

yet　she　was　curiously　listless。　she　showed　no　sign　of　joy　when　her　eyes　rested　on　romeo。　the　few　words　she　had　to　speak

good　pilgrim；　you　do　wrong　your　hand　too　much；

which　mannerly　devotion　shows　in　this；

for　saints　have　hands　that　pilgrims　hands　do　touch；

and　palm　to　palm　is　holy　palmers　kiss　

with　the　brief　dialogue　that　follows；　were　spoken　in　a　thoroughly　artificial　manner。　the　voice　was　exquisite；　but　from　the　point　of　view　of　tone　it　was　absolutely　false。　it　was　wrong　in　colour。　it　took　away　all　the　life　from　the　verse。　it　made　the　passion　unreal。

dorian　gray　grew　pale　as　he　watched　her。　he　was　puzzled　and　anxious。　neither　of　his　friends　dared　to　say　anything　to　him。　she　seemed　to　them　to　be　absolutely　inpetent。　they　were　horribly　disappointed。

yet　they　felt　that　the　true　test　of　any　juliet　is　the　balcony　scene　of　the　second　act。　they　waited　for　that。　if　she　failed　there；　there　was　nothing　in　her。

she　looked　charming　as　she　came　out　in　the　moonlight。　that　could　not　be　denied。　but　the　staginess　of　her　acting　was　unbearable；　and　grew　worse　as　she　went　on。　her　gestures　became　absurdly　artificial。　she　overemphasized　everything　that　she　had　to　say。　the　beautiful　passage

thou　knowest　the　mask　of　night　is　on　my　face；

else　would　a　maiden　blush　bepaint　my　cheek

for　that　which　thou　hast　heard　me　speak　to…night

was　declaimed　with　the　painful　precision　of　a　schoolgirl　who　has　been　taught　to　recite　by　some　second…rate　professor　of　elocution。　when　she　leaned　over　the　balcony　and　came　to　those　wonderful　lines

although　i　joy　in　thee；

i　have　no　joy　of　this　contract　to…night：

it　is　too　rash；　too　unadvised；　too　sudden；

too　like　the　lightning；　which　doth　cease　to　be

ere　one　can　say；　〃it　lightens。〃　sweet；　good…night！

this　bud　of　love　by　summers　ripening　breath

may　prove　a　beauteous　flower　when　next　we　meet　

she　spoke　the　words　as　though　they　conveyed　no　meaning　to　her。　it　was　not　nervousness。　indeed；　so　far　from　being　nervous；　she　was　absolutely　self…contained。　it　was　simply　bad　art。　she　was　a　plete　failure。

even　the　mon　uneducated　audience　of　the　pit　and　gallery　lost　their　interest　in　the　play。　they　got　restless；　and　began　to　talk　loudly　and　to　whistle。　the　jew　manager；　who　was　standing　at　the　back　of　the　dress…circle；　stamped　and　swore　with　rage。　the　only　person　unmoved　was　the　girl　herself。

when　the　second　act　was　over；　there　came　a　storm　of　hisses；　and　lord　henry　got　up　from　his　chair　and　put　on　his　coat。　〃she　is　quite　beautiful；　dorian；〃　he　said；　〃but　she　cant　act。　let　us　go。〃

〃i　am　going　to　see　the　play　through；〃　answered　the　lad；　in　a　hard　bitter　voice。　〃i　am　awfully　sorry　that　i　have　made　you　waste　an　evening；　harry。　i　apologize　to　you　both。〃

〃my　dear　dorian；　i　should　think　miss　vane　was　ill；〃　interrupted　hallward。　〃we　will　e　some　other　night。〃

〃i　wish　she　were　ill；〃　he　rejoined。　〃but　she　seems　to　me　to　be　simply　callous　and　cold。　she　has　entirely　altered。　last　night　she　was　a　great　artist。　this　evening　she　is　merely　a　monplace　mediocre　actress。〃

〃dont　talk　like　that　about　any　one　you　love；　dorian。　love　is　a　more　wonderful　thing　than　art。〃

〃they　are　both　simply　forms　of　imitation；〃　remarked　lord　henry。　〃but　do　let　us　go。　dorian；　you　must　not　stay　here　any　longer。　it　is　not　good　for　ones　morals　to　see　bad　acting。　besides；　i　dont　suppose　you　will　want　your　wife　to　act；　so　what　does　it　matter　if　she　plays　juliet　like　a　wooden　doll？　she　is　very　lovely；　and　if　she　knows　as　little　about　life　as　she　does　about　acting；　she　will　be　a　delightful　experience。　there　are　only　two　kinds　of　people　who　are　really　fascinating　people　who　know　absolutely　everything；　and　people　who　know　absolutely　nothing。　good　heavens；　my　dear　boy；　dont　look　so　tragic！　the　secret　of　remaining　young　is　never　to　have　an　emotion　that　is　unbeing。　e　to　the　club　with　basil　and　myself。　we　will　smoke　cigarettes　and　drink　to　the　beauty　of　sibyl　vane。　she　is　beautiful。　what　more　can　you　want？〃

〃go　away；　harry；〃　cried　the　lad。　〃i　want　to　be　alone。　basil；　you　must　go。　ah！　cant　you　see　that　my　heart　is　breaking？〃　the　hot　tears　came　to　his　eyes。　his　lips　trembled；　and　rushing　to　the　back　of　the　box；　he　leaned　up　against　the　wall；　hiding　his　face　in　his　hands。

〃let　us　go；　basil；〃　said　lord　henry　with　a　strange　tenderness　in　his　voice；　and　the　two　young　men　passed　out　together。

a　few　moments　afterwards　the　footlights　flared　up　and　the　curtain　rose　on　the　third　act。　dorian　gray　went　back　to　his　seat。　he　looked　pale；　and　proud；　and　indifferent。　the　play　dragged　on；　and　seemed　interminable。　half　of　the　audience　went　out；　tramping　in　heavy　boots　and　laughing。　the　whole　thing　was　a　fiasco。　the　last　act　was　played　to　almost　empty　benches。　the　curtain　went　down　on　a　titter　and　some　groans。

as　soon　as　it　was　over；　dorian　gray　rushed　behind　the　scenes　into　the　greenroom。　the　girl　was　standing　there　alone；　with　a　look　of　triumph　on　her　face。　her　eyes　were　lit　with　an　exquisite　fire。　there　was　a　radiance　about　her。　her　parted　lips　were　smiling　over　some　secret　of　their　own。

when　he　entered；　she　looked　at　him；　and　an　expression　of　infinite　joy　came　over　her。　〃how　badly　i　acted　to…night；　dorian！〃　she　cried。

〃horribly！〃　he　answered；　gazing　at　her　in　amazement。　〃horribly！　it　was　dreadful。　are　you　ill？　you　have　no　idea　what　it　was。　you　have　no　idea　what　i　suffered。〃

the　girl　smiled。　〃dorian；〃　she　answered；　lingering　over　his　name　with　long…drawn　music　in　her　voice；　as　though　it　were　sweeter　than　honey　to　the　red　petals　of　her　mouth。　〃dorian；　you　should　have　understood。　but　you　understand　now；　dont　you？〃

〃understand　what？〃　he　asked；　angrily。

〃why　i　was　so　bad　to…night。　why　i　shall　always　be　bad。　why　i　shall　never　act　well　again。〃

he　shrugged　his　shoulders。　〃you　are　ill；　i　suppose。　when　you　are　ill　you　shouldnt　act。　you　make　yourself　ridiculous。　my　friends　were　bored。　i　was　bored。〃

she　seemed　not　to　listen　to　him。　she　was　transfigured　with　joy。　an　ecstasy　of　happiness　dominated　her。

〃dorian；　dorian；〃　she　cried；　〃before　i　knew　you；　acting　was　the　one　reality　of　my　life。　it　was　only　in　the　theatre　that　i　lived。　i　thought　that　it　was　all　true。　i　was　rosalind　one　night　and　portia　the　other。　the　joy　of　beatrice　was　my　joy；　and　the　sorrows　of　cordelia　were　mine　also。　i　believed　in　everything。　the　mon　people　who　acted　with　me　seemed　to　me　to　be　godlike。　the　painted　scenes　were　my　world。　i　knew　nothing　but　shadows；　and　i　thought　them　real。　you　cameoh；　my　beautiful　love！　and　you　freed　my　soul　from　prison。　you　taught　me　what　reality　really　is。　to…night；　for　the　first　time　in　my　life；　i　saw　through　the　hollowness；　the　sham；　the　silliness　of　the　empty　pageant　in　which　i　had　always　played。　to…night；　for　the　first　time；　i　became　conscious　that　the　romeo　was　hideous；　and　old；　and　painted；　that　the　moonlight　in　the　orchard　was　false；　that　the　scenery　was　vulgar；　and　that　the　words　i　had　to　speak　were　unreal；　were　not　my　words；　were　not　what　i　wanted　to　say。　you　had　brought　me　something　higher；　something　of　which　all　art　is　but　a　reflection。　you　had　made　me　understand　what　love　really　is。　my　love！　my　love！　prince　charming！　prince　of　life！　i　have　grown　sick　of　shadows。　you　are　more　to　me　than　all　art　can　ever　be。　what　have　i　to　do　with　the　puppets　of　a　play？　when　i　came　on　to…night；　i　could　not　understand　how　it　was　that　everything　had　gone　from　me。　i　thought　that　i　was　going　to　be　wonderful。　i　found　that　i　could　do　nothing。　suddenly　it　dawned　on　my　soul　what　it　all　meant。　the　knowledge　was　exquisite　to　me。　i　heard　them　hissing；　and　i　smiled。　what　could　they　know　of　love　such　as　ours？　take　me