璇玑之心刃·冷血悍将-第112部分

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Kelly　tossed　the　backpack　across。　Rosen　looked　too　late；　missed　the　catch；　and　the　pack　landed　on　the　concrete。　Some　contents　spilled　out；　and　from　twenty　feet　away；　Kelly　immediately　saw　what　was　wrong　even　before　the　doctor‘s　head　turned　to　look　at　him。
There　was　a　large　brown　plastic　prescription　bottle；　but　without　a　label。　The　top　had　been　loose；　and　from　it　had　spilled　a　couple　of　capsules。
Some　things　are　instantly　clear。　Kelly　stepped　slowly　off　the　boat　to　the　quay。　Rosen　picked　up　the　container　and　placed　the　spilled　capsules　back　in　it　before　snapping　down　the　white　plastic　top。　Then　he　handed　it　to　Kelly。
‘I　know　they‘re　not　yours；　John。‘
‘What　are　they；　Sam？‘
His　voice　could　not　have　been　more　dispassionate。　‘The　trade　name　is　Quaalude。　Methaqualone。　It‘s　a　barbiturate；　a　sedative。　A　sleeping　pill。　We　use　it　to　get　people　off　into　dreamland。　Pretty　powerful。　A　little　too　powerful；　in　fact。　A　lot　of　people　think　it　ought　to　be　taken　off　the　market。　No　label。　It‘s　not　a　prescription。‘
Kelly　suddenly　felt　tired　and　old。　And　betrayed　somehow。　‘Yeah。‘
‘You　didn‘t　know？‘
‘Sam；　we　only　met　…　not　even　twenty…four　hours　ago。　I　don‘t　know　anything　about　her。‘
Rosen　stretched　and　looked　around　the　horizon　for　a　moment。　‘Okay；　now　I‘m　going　to　start　being　a　doctor；　okay？　Have　you　ever　done　drugs？‘
‘No！　I　hate　the　goddamned　stuff。　People　die　because　of　it！‘　Kelly‘s　anger　was　immediate　and　vicious；　but　it　wasn‘t　aimed　at　Sam　Rosen。
The　professor　took　the　outburst　calmly。　It　was　his　turn　to　be　businesslike。　‘Settle　down。　People　get　hooked　on　these　things。　How　doesn‘t　matter。　Getting　excited　doesn‘t　help。　Take　a　deep　breath；　let　it　out　slow。‘
Kelly　did；　and　managed　a　smile　at　the　incongruity　of　the　moment。　‘You　sound　just　like　my　dad。‘
‘Firemen　are　smart。‘　He　paused。　‘Okay；　your　lady　friend　may　have　a　problem。　But　she　seems　like　a　nice　girl；　and　you　seem　like　a　mensch。　So　do　we　try　and　solve　the　problem　or　not？‘
‘I　guess　that‘s　up　to　her；‘　Kelly　observed；　bitterness　creeping　into　his　voice。　He　felt　betrayed。　He‘d　started　giving　his　heart　away　again；　and　now　he　had　to　face　the　fact　that　he　might　have　been　giving　it　to　drugs；　or　what　drugs　had　made　of　what　ought　to　have　been　a　person。　It　might　all　have　been　a　waste　of　time。
Rosen　became　a　little　stern。　‘That‘s　right；　it　is　up　to　her；　but　it　might　be　up　to　you；　too；　a　little；　and　if　you　act　like　an　idiot；　you　won‘t　help　her　very　much。‘
Kelly　was　amazed　by　how　rational　the　man　sounded　under　the　circumstances。　‘You　must　be　a　pretty　good　doc。‘
‘I‘m　one　hell　of　a　good　doc；‘　Rosen　announced。　‘This　isn‘t　my　field；　but　Sarah　is　damned　good。　It　may　be　you‘re　both　lucky。　She‘s　not　a　bad　girl；　John。　Something‘s　bothering　her。　She‘s　nervous　about　something；　in　case　you　didn‘t　notice。‘
‘Well；　yes；　but　…‘　And　some　part　of　Kelly‘s　brain　said；　See！
‘But　you　mainly　noticed　she‘s　pretty。　I　was　in　my　twenties　once　myself；　John。　e　on；　we　may　have　a　little　work　ahead。‘　He　stopped　and　peered　at　Kelly。　‘I‘m　missing　something　here。　What　is　it？‘
‘I　lost　a　wife　less　than　a　year　ago。‘　Kelly　explained　on　for　a　minute　or　two。
‘And　you　thought　that　maybe　she　…‘
‘Yeah；　I　guess　so。　Stupid；　isn‘t　it？‘　Kelly　wondered　why　he　was　opening　up　this　way。　Why　not　just　let　Pam　do　whatever　she　wanted？　But　that　wasn‘t　an　answer。　If　he　did　that；　he　would　just　be　using　her　for　his　selfish　needs；　discarding　her　when　the　bloom　came　off　the　rose。　For　all　the　reverses　his　life　had　taken　in　the　past　year；　he　knew　that　he　couldn‘t　do　that；　couldn‘t　be　one　of　those　men。　He　caught　Rosen　looking　fixedly　at　him。
Rosen　shook　his　head　judiciously。　‘We　all　have　vulnerabilities。　You　have　training　and　experience　to　deal　with　your　problems。　She　doesn‘t。　e　on；　we　have　work　to　do。‘　Rosen　took　the　hand　truck　in　his　large；　soft　hands　and　wheeled　it　towards　the　bunker。
The　cool　air　inside　was　a　surprisingly　harsh　blast　of　reality。　Pam　was　trying　to　entertain　Sarah；　but　not　succeeding。　Perhaps　Sarah　had　written　it　off　to　the　awkward　social　situation；　but　physicians‘　minds　are　always　at　work；　and　she　was　starting　to　apply　a　professional　eye　to　the　person　in　front　of　her。　When　Sam　entered　the　living　room；　Sarah　turned　and　gave　him　a　look　that　Kelly　was　able　to　understand。
‘And　so；　well；　I　left　home　when　I　was　sixteen；‘　Pam　was　saying；　rattling　on　in　a　monotonal　voice　that　exposed　more　than　she　knew。　Her　eyes　turned；　too；　and　focused　on　the　backpack　Kelly　held　in　his　hand。　Her　voice　had　a　surprisingly　brittle　character　that　he‘d　not　noticed　before。
‘Oh；　great。　I　need　some　of　that　stuff。‘　She　came　over　and　took　the　pack　from　his　hands；　then　headed　towards　the　master　bedroom。　Kelly　and　Rosen　watched　her　leave；　then　Sam　handed　his　wife　the　plastic　container。　She　needed　only　one　look。　
‘I　didn‘t　know；‘　Kelly　said；　feeling　the　need　to　defend　himself。　‘I　didn‘t　see　her　take　anything。‘　He　thought　back；　trying　to　remember　times　when　she　had　not　been　in　his　sight；　and　concluded　that　she　might　have　taken　pills　two　or　perhaps　three　times；　then　realizing　what　her　dreamy　eyes　had　really　been　after　all。
‘Sarah？‘　Sam　asked。
‘Three…hundred…milligram。　It　ought　not　to　be　a　severe　case；　but　she　does　need　assistance。‘
Pam　came　back　into　the　room　a　few　seconds　later；　telling　Kelly　that　she‘d　left　something　on　the　boat。　Her　hands　weren‘t　trembling；　but　only　because　she　was　holding　them　together　to　keep　them　still。　It　was　so　clear；　once　you　knew　what　to　look　for。　She　was　trying　to　control　herself；　and　almost　succeeding；　but　Pam　wasn‘t　an　actress。
‘Is　this　it？‘　Kelly　asked。　He　held　the　bottle　in　his　hands。　His　reward　for　the　harsh　question　was　like　a　well…earned　knife　in　the　heart。
Pam　didn‘t　reply　for　a　few　seconds。　Her　eyes　fixed　on　the　brown　plastic　container；　and　the　first　thing　Kelly　saw　was　a　sudden；　hungry　expression　as　though　her　thoughts　were　already　reaching　for　the　bottle；　already　picking　one　or　more　of　the　tablets　out；　already　anticipating　whatever　it　was　that　she　got　from　the　damned　things；　not　caring；　not　even　noting　that　there　were　others　in　the　room。　Then　the　shame　hit　her；　the　realization　that　whatever　image　she　had　tried　to　convey　to　the　others　was　rapidly　diminishing。　But　worst　of　all；　after　her　eyes　swept　over　Sam　and　Sarah；　they　settled　on　Kelly　again；　oscillating　between　his　hand　and　his　face。　At　first　hunger　vied　with　shame；　but　shame　won；　and　when　her　eyes　locked　on　his；　the　expression　on　her　face　began　as　that　of　a　child　caught　misbehaving；　but　it　and　she　matured　into　something　else；　as　she　saw　that　something　which　might　have　grown　into　love　was　changing　over　an　interval　of　heartbeats　into　contempt　and　disgust。　Her　breathing　changed　in　a　moment；　being　rapid；　then　irregular　as　the　sobs　began；　and　she　realized　that　the　greatest　disgust　was　within　her　own　mind；　for　even　a　drug　addict　must　look　inward；　and　doing　so　through　the　eyes　of　others　merely　added　a　cruel　edge。
‘I‘m　s…s…sorry；　Kel…el…y。　I　di…didn‘t　tel…el。。。‘　she　tried　to　say；　her　body　collapsing　into　itself。　Pam　seemed　to　shrink　before　their　eyes　as　she　saw　what　might　have　been　a　chance　evaporate；　and　beyond　that　dissipating　cloud　was　only　despair。　Pam　turned　away；　sobbing；　unable　to　face　the　man　she‘d　begun　to　love。
It　was　decision　time　for　John　Terrence　Kelly。　He　could　feel　betrayed；　or　he　could　show　the　same　passion　to　her　that　she　had　shown　to　him　less　than　twenty　hours　before。　More　than　anything　else；　what　decided　it　was　her　look　to　him；　the　shame　so　manifest　on　her　face。　He　could　not　just　stand　there。　He　had　to　do　something；　else　his　own　very　proud　image　of　himself　would　dissolve　as　surely　and　rapidly　as　hers。
Kelly‘s　eyes　filled　with　tears　as　well。　He　went　to　her　and　wrapped　his　arms　around　her　to　keep　her　from　falling；　cradling　her　like　a　child；　pulling　her　head　back　against　his　chest；　because　it　was　now　his　time　to　be　strong　for　her；　to　set　whatever　thoughts　he　had　aside　for　a　while；　and　even　the　dissonant　part　of　his　mind　refused　to　cackle　its　I　told　you　so　at　this　moment；　because　there　was　someone　hurt　in　his　arms；　and　this　wasn‘t　the　time　for　that。　They　stood　together　for　a　few　minutes　while　the　others　watched　with　a　mixture　of　personal　unease　and　professional　detachment。
‘I‘ve　been　trying；‘　she　said　presently；　‘I　really　have　…　but　I　was　so　scared。‘
‘It‘s　okay；‘　Kelly　told　her；　not　quite　catching　what　she　had　just　said。　‘You　were　there　for　me；　and　now　it‘s　my　turn　to　be　here　for　you。‘
‘But　…‘　She　started　sobbing　again；　and　it　took　a　minute　or　so　before　she　got　it　out。　‘I‘m　not　what　you　think　I　am。‘
Kelly　let　a　smile　creep　into　his　voice　as　he　missed　the　second　warning。　‘You　don‘t　know　what　I　think；　Pammy。　It‘s　okay。　Really。‘　He‘d　concentrated　so　hard　on　the　girl　in　his　arms　that　he　hadn‘t　noticed　Sarah　Rosen　at　his　side。
‘Pam；　how　about　we　take　a　little　walk？‘　Pam　nodded　agreement；　and　Sarah　led　her　outside；　leaving　Kelly　to　look　at　Sam。
‘You　are　a　mensch；‘　Rosen　announced　with　satisfaction　at　his　earlier　diagnosis　of　the　man‘s　character。　‘Kelly；　how　close　is　the　nearest　town　with　a　pharmacy？‘
‘Solomons；　I　guess。　Shouldn‘t　she　be　in　a　hospital？‘
‘I‘ll　let　Sara　make　the　call　on　that；　but　I　suspect　it‘s　not　necessary