the hunger games-饥饿游戏(英文版)-第6部分
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the hours spent in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to survive。
To this day； I can never shake the connection between this boy； Peeta Mellark； and the bread that gave me hope； and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed。 And more than once； I have turned in the school hallway and caught his eyes trained on me； only to quickly flit away。 I feel like I owe him something； and I hate owing people。 Maybe if I had thanked him at some point； Iˇd be feeling less conflicted now。 I thought about it a couple of times； but the opportunity never seemed to present itself。 And now it never will。 Because weˇre going to be thrown into an arena to fight to the death。 Exactly how am I supposed to work in a thank…you in there？ Somehow it just wonˇt seem sincere if Iˇm trying to slit his throat。
The mayor finishes the dreary Treaty of Treason and motions for Peeta and me to shake hands。 His are as solid and warm as those loaves of bread。 Peeta looks me right in the eye and gives my hand what I think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze。 Maybe itˇs just a nervous spasm。
We turn back to face the crowd as the anthem of Panem plays。
Oh； well； I think。 There will be twenty…four of us。 Odds are someone else will kill him before I do。
Of course； the odds have not been very dependable of late。
3
The moment the anthem ends； we are taken into custody。 I donˇt mean weˇre handcuffed or anything； but a group of Peacekeepers marches us through the front door of the Justice Building。 Maybe tributes have tried to escape in the past。 Iˇve never seen that happen though。
Once inside； Iˇm conducted to a room and left alone。 Itˇs the richest place Iˇve ever been in； with thick； deep carpets and a velvet couch and chairs。 I know velvet because my mother has a dress with a collar made of the stuff。 When I sit on the couch； I canˇt help running my fingers over the fabric repeatedly。 It helps to calm me as I try to prepare for the next hour。 The time allotted for the tributes to say goodbye to their loved ones。 I cannot afford to get upset； to leave this room with puffy eyes and a red nose。 Crying is not an option。 There will be more cameras at the train station。
My sister and my mother e first。 I reach out to Prim and she climbs on my lap； her arms around my neck； head on my shoulder； just like she did when she was a toddler。 My mother sits beside me and wraps her arms around us。 For a few minutes； we say nothing。 Then I start telling them all the things they must remember to do； now that I will not be there to do them for them。
Prim is not to take any tesserae。 They can get by； if theyˇre careful； on selling Primˇs goat milk and cheese and the small apothecary business my mother now runs for the people in the Seam。 Gale will get her the herbs she doesnˇt grow herself； but she must be very careful to describe them because heˇs not as familiar with them as I am。 Heˇll also bring them game he and I made a pact about this a year or so ago and will probably not ask for pensation； but they should thank him with some kind of trade； like milk or medicine。
I donˇt bother suggesting Prim learn to hunt。 I tried to teach her a couple of times and it was disastrous。 The woods terrified her； and whenever I shot something； sheˇd get teary and talk about how we might be able to heal it if we got it home soon enough。 But she makes out well with her goat； so I concentrate on that。
When I am done with instructions about fuel； and trading； and staying in school； I turn to my mother and grip her arm； hard。 ¨Listen to me。 Are you listening to me？〃 She nods； alarmed by my intensity。 She must know whatˇs ing。 ¨You canˇt leave again；〃 I say。
My motherˇs eyes find the floor。 ¨I know。 I wonˇt。 I couldnˇt help what〃
¨Well； you have to help it this time。 You canˇt clock out and leave Prim on her own。 Thereˇs no me now to keep you both alive。 It doesnˇt matter what happens。 Whatever you see on the screen。 You have to promise me youˇll fight through it！〃 My voice has risen to a shout。 In it is all the anger； all the fear I felt at her abandonment。
She pulls her arm from my grasp； moved to anger herself now。 ¨I was ill。 I could have treated myself if Iˇd had the medicine I have now。〃
That part about her being ill might be true。 Iˇve seen her bring back people suffering from immobilizing sadness since。 Perhaps it is a sickness； but itˇs one we canˇt afford。
¨Then take it。 And take care of her！〃 I say。
¨Iˇll be all right； Katniss；〃 says Prim； clasping my face in her hands。 ¨But you have to take care； too。 Youˇre so fast and brave。 Maybe you can win。〃
I canˇt win。 Prim must know that in her heart。 The petition will be far beyond my abilities。 Kids from wealthier districts； where winning is a huge honor； whoˇve been trained their whole lives for this。 Boys who are two to three times my size。 Girls who know twenty different ways to kill you with a knife。 Oh； thereˇll be people like me； too。 People to weed out before the real fun begins。
¨Maybe；〃 I say； because I can hardly tell my mother to carry on if Iˇve already given up myself。 Besides； it isnˇt in my nature to go down without a fight； even when things seem insurmountable。 ¨Then weˇd be rich as Haymitch。〃
¨I donˇt care if weˇre rich。 I just want you to e home。 You will try； wonˇt you？ Really； really try？〃 asks Prim。
¨Really； really try。 I swear it；〃 I say。 And I know； because of Prim； Iˇll have to。
And then the Peacekeeper is at the door； signaling our time is up； and weˇre all hugging one another so hard it hurts and all Iˇm saying is ¨I love you。 I love you both。〃 And theyˇre saying it back and then the Peacekeeper orders them out and the door closes。 I bury my head in one of the velvet pillows as if this can block the whole thing out。
Someone else enters the room； and when I look up； Iˇm surprised to see itˇs the baker； Peeta Mellarkˇs father。 I canˇt believe heˇs e to visit me。 After all； Iˇll be trying to kill his son soon。 But we do know each other a bit； and he knows Prim even better。 When she sells her goat cheeses at the Hob； she puts two of them aside for him and he gives her a generous amount of bread in return。 We always wait to trade with him when his witch of a wife isnˇt around because heˇs so much nicer。 I feel certain he would never have hit his son the way she did over the burned bread。 But why has he e to see me？
The baker sits awkwardly on the edge of one of the plush chairs。 Heˇs a big； broad…shouldered man with burn scars from years at the ovens。 He must have just said goodbye to his son。
He pulls a white paper package from his jacket pocket and holds it out to me。 I open it and find cookies。 These are a luxury we can never afford。
¨Thank you；〃 I say。 The bakerˇs not a very talkative man in the best of times； and today he has no words at all。 ¨I had some of your bread this morning。 My friend Gale gave you a squirrel for it。〃 He nods； as if remembering the squirrel。 ¨Not your best trade；〃 I say。 He shrugs as if it couldnˇt possibly matter。
Then I canˇt think of anything else； so we sit in silence until a Peacemaker summons him。 He rises and coughs to clear his throat。 ¨Iˇll keep an eye on the little girl。 Make sure sheˇs eating。〃
I feel some of the pressure in my chest lighten at his words。 People deal with me； but they are genuinely fond of Prim。 Maybe there will be enough fondness to keep her alive。
My next guest is also unexpected。 Madge walks straight to me。 She is not weepy or evasive； instead thereˇs an urgency about her tone that surprises me。 ¨They let you wear one thing from your district in the arena。 One thing to remind you of home。 Will you wear this？〃 She holds out the circular gold pin that was on her dress earlier。 I hadnˇt paid much attention to it before； but now I see itˇs a small bird in flight。
¨Your pin？〃 I say。 Wearing a token from my district is about the last thing on my mind。
¨Here； Iˇll put it on your dress； all right？〃 Madge doesnˇt wait for an answer； she just leans in and fixes the bird to my dress。 ¨Promise youˇll wear it into the arena； Katniss？〃 she asks。 ¨Promise？〃
¨Yes；〃 I say。 Cookies。 A pin。 Iˇm getting all kinds of gifts today。 Madge gives me one more。 A kiss on the cheek。 Then sheˇs gone and Iˇm left thinking that maybe Madge really has been my friend all along。
Finally； Gale is here and maybe there is nothing romantic between us； but when he opens his arms I donˇt hesitate to go into them。 His body is familiar to me the way it moves； the smell of wood smoke； even the sound of his heart beating I knoents on a hunt but this is the first time I really feel it； lean and hard…muscled against my own。
¨Listen；〃 he says。 ¨Getting a knife should be pretty easy； but youˇve got to get your hands on a bow。 Thatˇs your best chance。〃
¨They donˇt always have bows；〃 I say； thinking of the year there were only horrible spiked maces that the tributes had to bludgeon one another to death with。
¨Then make one；〃 says Gale。 ¨Even a weak bow is better than no bow at all。〃
I have tried copying my fatherˇs bows with poor results。 Itˇs not that easy。 Even he had to scrap his own work sometimes。
¨I donˇt even kno
