the hunger games-饥饿游戏(英文版)-第19部分

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¨Well；　thatˇs　the　best　I　can　do；〃　Effie　says　with　a　sigh。　¨Just　remember；　Katniss；　you　want　the　audience　to　like　you。〃
¨And　you　donˇt　think　they　will？〃　I　ask。
¨Not　if　you　glare　at　them　the　entire　time。　Why　donˇt　you　save　that　for　the　arena？　Instead；　think　of　yourself　among　friends；〃　says　Effie。
¨Theyˇre　betting　on　how　long　Iˇll　live！〃　I　burst　out。　¨Theyˇre　not　my　friends！〃
¨Well；　try　and　pretend！〃　snaps　Effie。　Then　she　poses　herself　and　beams　at　me。　¨See；　like　this。　Iˇm　smiling　at　you　even　though　youˇre　aggravating　me。〃
¨Yes；　it　feels　very　convincing；〃　I　say。　¨Iˇm　going　to　eat。〃　1　kick　off　my　heels　and　stomp　down　to　the　dining　room；　hiking　my　skirt　up　to　my　thighs。
Peeta　and　Haymitch　seem　in　pretty　good　moods；　so　Iˇm　thinking　the　content　session　should　be　an　improvement　over　the　morning。　I　couldnˇt　be　more　wrong。　After　lunch；　Haymitch　takes　me　into　the　sitting　room；　directs　me　to　the　couch；　and　then　just　frowns　at　me　for　a　while。
¨What？〃　I　finally　ask。
¨Iˇm　trying　to　figure　out　what　to　do　with　you；〃　he　says。
¨How　weˇre　going　to　present　you。　Are　you　going　to　be　charming？　Aloof？　Fierce？　So　far；　youˇre　shining　like　a　star。　You　volunteered　to　save　your　sister。　Cinna　made　you　look　unforgettable。　Youˇve　got　the　top　training　score。　People　are　intrigued；　but　no　one　knows　who　you　are。　The　impression　you　make　tomorrow　will　decide　exactly　what　I　can　get　you　in　terms　of　sponsors；〃　says　Haymitch。
Having　watched　the　tribute　interviews　all　my　life；　I　know　thereˇs　truth　to　what　heˇs　saying。　If　you　appeal　to　the　crowd；　either　by　being　humorous　or　brutal　or　eccentric；　you　gain　favor。
¨Whatˇs　Peetaˇs　approach？　Or　am　I　not　allowed　to　ask？〃　I　say。
¨Likable。　He　has　a　sort　of　self…deprecating　humor　naturally；〃　says　Haymitch。　¨Whereas　when　you　open　your　mouth；　you　e　across　more　as　sullen　and　hostile。〃
¨I　do　not！〃　I　say。
¨Please。　I　donˇt　know　where　you　pulled　that　cheery；　wavy　girl　on　the　chariot　from；　but　I　havenˇt　seen　her　before　or　since；〃　says　Haymitch。
¨And　youˇve　given　me　so　many　reasons　to　be　cheery；〃　I　counter。
¨But　you　donˇt　have　to　please　me。　Iˇm　not　going　to　sponsor　you。　So　pretend　Iˇm　the　audience；〃　says　Haymitch。　¨Delight　me。〃
¨Fine！〃　I　snarl。　Haymitch　takes　the　role　of　the　interviewer　and　I　try　to　answer　his　questions　in　a　winning　fashion。　But　I　canˇt。　Iˇm　too　angry　with　Haymitch　for　what　he　said　and　that　I　even　have　to　answer　the　questions。　All　I　can　think　is　how　unjust　the　whole　thing　is；　the　Hunger　Games。　Why　am　I　hopping　around　like　some　trained　dog　trying　to　please　people　I　hate？　The　longer　the　interview　goes　on；　the　more　my　fury　seems　to　rise　to　the　surface；　until　Iˇm　literally　spitting　out　answers　at　him。
¨All　right；　enough；〃　he　says。　¨Weˇve　got　to　find　another　angle。　Not　only　are　you　hostile；　I　donˇt　know　anything　about　you。　Iˇve　asked　you　fifty　questions　and　still　have　no　sense　of　your　life；　your　family；　what　you　care　about。　They　want　to　know　about　you；　Katniss。〃
¨But　I　donˇt　want　them　to！　Theyˇre　already　taking　my　future！　They　canˇt　have　the　things　that　mattered　to　me　in　the　past！〃　I　say。
¨Then　lie！　Make　something　up！〃　says　Haymitch。
¨Iˇm　not　good　at　lying；〃　I　say。
¨Well；　you　better　learn　fast。　Youˇve　got　about　as　much　charm　as　a　dead　slug；〃　says　Haymitch。
Ouch。　That　hurts。　Even　Haymitch　must　know　heˇs　been　too　harsh　because　his　voice　softens。　¨Hereˇs　an　idea。　Try　acting　humble。〃
¨Humble；〃　I　echo。
¨That　you　canˇt　believe　a　little　girl　from　District　Twelve　has　done　this　well。　The　whole　thingˇs　been　more　than　you　ever　could　have　dreamed　of。　Talk　about　Cinnaˇs　clothes。　How　nice　the　people　are。　How　the　city　amazes　you。　If　you　wonˇt　talk　about　yourself；　at　least　pliment　the　audience。　Just　keep　turning　it　back　around；　all　right。　Gush。〃
The　next　hours　are　agonizing。　At　once；　itˇs　clear　I　cannot　gush。　We　try　me　playing　cocky；　but　I　just　donˇt　have　the　arrogance。　Apparently；　Iˇm　too　¨vulnerable〃　for　ferocity。　Iˇm　not　witty。　Funny。　Sexy。　Or　mysterious。
By　the　end　of　the　session；　I　am　no　one　at　all。　Haymitch　started　drinking　somewhere　around　witty；　and　a　nasty　edge　has　crept　into　his　voice。　¨I　give　up；　sweetheart。　Just　answer　the　questions　and　try　not　to　let　the　audience　see　how　openly　you　despise　them。〃
I　have　dinner　that　night　in　my　room；　ordering　an　outrageous　number　of　delicacies；　eating　myself　sick；　and　then　taking　out　my　anger　at　Haymitch；　at　the　Hunger　Games；　at　every　living　being　in　the　Capitol　by　smashing　dishes　around　my　room。　When　the　girl　with　the　red　hair　es　in　to　turn　down　my　bed；　her　eyes　widen　at　the　mess。　¨Just　leave　it！〃　I　yell　at　her。　¨Just　leave　it　alone！〃
I　hate　her；　too；　with　her　knowing　reproachful　eyes　that　call　me　a　coward；　a　monster；　a　puppet　of　the　Capitol；　both　now　and　then。　For　her；　justice　must　finally　be　happening。　At　least　my　death　will　help　pay　for　the　life　of　the　boy　in　the　woods。　
But　instead　of　fleeing　the　room；　the　girl　closes　the　door　behind　her　and　goes　to　the　bathroom。　She　es　back　with　a　damp　cloth　and　wipes　my　face　gently　then　cleans　the　blood　from　a　broken　plate　off　my　hands。　Why　is　she　doing　this？　Why　am　I　letting　her？
¨I　should　have　tried　to　save　you；〃　I　whisper。
She　shakes　her　head。　Does　this　mean　we　were　right　to　stand　by？　That　she　has　forgiven　me？
¨No；　it　was　wrong；〃　I　say。
She　taps　her　lips　with　her　fingers　then　points　to　my　chest。　I　think　she　means　that　I　would　just　have　ended　up　an　Avox；　too。　Probably　would　have。　An　Avox　or　dead。
I　spend　the　next　hour　helping　the　redheaded　girl　clean　the　room。　When　all　the　garbage　has　been　dropped　down　a　disposal　and　the　food　cleaned　away；　she　turns　down　my　bed。　I　crawl　in　between　the　sheets　like　a　five…year…old　and　let　her　tuck　me　in。　Then　she　goes。　I　want　her　to　stay　until　I　fall　asleep。　To　be　there　when　I　wake　up。　I　want　the　protection　of　this　girl；　even　though　she　never　had　mine。
In　the　morning；　itˇs　not　the　girl　but　my　prep　team　who　are　hanging　over　me。　My　lessons　with　Effie　and　Haymitch　are　over。　This　day　belongs　to　Cinna。　Heˇs　my　last　hope。　Maybe　he　can　make　me　look　so　wonderful；　no　one　will　care　what　es　out　of　my　mouth。
The　team　works　on　me　until　late　afternoon；　turning　my　skin　to　glowing　satin；　stenciling　patterns　on　my　arms；　painting　flame　designs　on　my　twenty　perfect　nails。　Then　Venia　goes　to　work　on　my　hair；　weaving　strands　of　red　into　a　pattern　that　begins　at　my　left　ear；　wraps　around　my　head；　and　then　falls　in　one　braid　down　my　right　shoulder。　They　erase　my　face　with　a　layer　of　pale　makeup　and　draw　my　features　back　out。　Huge　dark　eyes；　full　red　lips；　lashes　that　throw　off　bits　of　light　when　I　blink。　Finally；　they　cover　my　entire　body　in　a　powder　that　makes　me　shimmer　in　gold　dust。
Then　Cinna　enters　with　what　I　assume　is　my　dress；　but　I　canˇt　really　see　it　because　itˇs　covered。　¨Close　your　eyes；〃　he　orders。
I　can　feel　the　silken　inside　as　they　slip　it　down　over　my　naked　body；　then　the　weight。　It　must　be　forty　pounds。　I　clutch　Octaviaˇs　hand　as　I　blindly　step　into　my　shoes；　glad　to　find　they　are　at　least　two　inches　lower　than　the　pair　Effie　had　me　practice　in。　Thereˇs　some　adjusting　and　fidgeting。　Then　silence。
¨Can　I　open　my　eyes？〃　I　ask。
¨Yes；〃　says　Cinna。　¨Open　them。〃
The　creature　standing　before　me　in　the　full…length　mirror　has　e　from　another　world。　Where　skin　shimmers　and　eyes　flash　and　apparently　they　make　their　clothes　from　jewels。　Because　my　dress；　oh；　my　dress　is　entirely　covered　in　reflective　precious　gems；　red　and　yellow　and　white　with　bits　of　blue　that　accent　the　tips　of　the　flame　design。　The　slightest　movement　gives　the　impression　I　am　engulfed　in　tongues　of　fire。
I　am　not　pretty。　I　am　not　beautiful。　I　am　as　radiant　as　the　sun。
For　a　while；　we　all　just　stare　at　me。　¨Oh；　Cinna；〃　I　finally　whisper。　¨Thank　you。〃
¨Twirl　for　me；〃　he　says。　I　hold　out　my　arms　and　spin　in　a　circle。　The　prep　team　screams　in　admiration。
Cinna　dismisses　the　team　and　has　me　move　around　in　the　dress　and　shoes；　which　are　infinitely　more　manageable　than　Effieˇs。　The　dress　hangs　in　such　a　way　that　I　donˇt　have　to　lift　the　skirt　when　I　walk；　leaving　me　with　one　less　thing　to　worry　about。
¨So；　all　ready　for　the　interview　then？〃　asks　Cinna。　I　can　see　by　his　expression　that　heˇs　been　talking　to　Haymitch。　That　he　knows　how　dreadful　I　am。
¨Iˇm　awful。　Haymitch　called　me　a　dead　slug。　No　matter　what　we　tried；　I　couldnˇt　do　it。　I　just　canˇt　be　one　of　those　people　he　wants　me　to　be；〃　I　say。
Cinna　thinks　about　this　a　moment。　¨Why　donˇt　you　just　be　yourself？〃
¨Myself？　Thatˇs　no　good；　either。　Haymitch　says　Iˇm　sullen　and　hostile；〃　I　say。
¨Well；　you　are　。　。　。　around　Haymitch；〃　says　Cinna　with　a　grin。　¨I　donˇt　find　you　so。　The　prep　team　adores　you。　You　even　won　over　the　Gamemakers。　And　as　for　the　citizens　of　the　Capitol；　well；　they　canˇt　stop　talking　about　you。　No　one　can　help　but　admire　your　spirit。〃
My　spirit。　This　is　a　new　thought。　Iˇm　not　sure　exactly　what　it　means；　but　it　suggests　Iˇm　a　fighter。　In　a　sort　of　brave　way。　Itˇs　not　as　if　Iˇm　never　friendly。　Okay；　maybe　I　donˇt　go　around　loving　everybody　I　meet；　maybe　my　smiles　are　hard　to　e　by；　but　I　do　care　for　some　people。
Cinna　takes　my　icy　hands　in　his　warm　ones。　¨Suppose；　when　you　answer　the　questions；　you　think　youˇ