简爱(英文版)-第13部分

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yond　her　punishment—beyond　her　situation：　of　something　not　round　her　nor　before　her。　I　have　heard　of　day…dreams—is　she　in　a　day…dream　now？　Her　eyes　are　fixed　on　the　floor；　but　I　am　sure　they　do　not　see　it—　her　sight　seems　turned　in；　gone　down　into　her　heart：　she　is　looking　at　what　she　can　remember；　I　believe；　not　at　what　is　really　present。　I　wonder　what　sort　of　a　girl　she　is—whether　good　or　naughty。”
Soon　after　five　p。m。　we　had　another　meal；　consisting　of　a　small　mug　of　coffee；　and　half…a…slice　of　brown　bread。　I　devoured　my　bread　and　drank　my　coffee　with　relish；　but　I　should　have　been　glad　of　as　much　more—I　was　still　hungry。　Half…an…hour’s　recreation　succeeded；　then　study；　then　the　glass　of　water　and　the　piece　of　oat…cake；　prayers；　and　bed。　Such　was　my　first　day　at　Lowood。
Chapter　6
The　next　day　menced　as　before；　getting　up　and　dressing　by　rushlight；　but　this　morning　we　were　obliged　to　dispense　with　the　ceremony　of　washing；　the　water　in　the　pitchers　was　frozen。　A　change　had　taken　place　in　the　weather　the　preceding　evening；　and　a　keen　north…east　wind；　whistling　through　the　crevices　of　our　bedroom　windows　all　night　long；　had　made　us　shiver　in　our　beds；　and　turned　the　contents　of　the　ewers　to　ice。
Before　the　long　hour　and　a　half　of　prayers　and　Bible…reading　was　over；　I　felt　ready　to　perish　with　cold。　Breakfast…time　came　at　last；　and　this　morning　the　porridge　was　not　burnt；　the　quality　all　my　portion　seemed！　I　wished　it　had　been　doubled。
In　the　course　of　the　day　I　was　enrolled　a　member　of　the　fourth　class；　and　regular　tasks　and　occupations　were　assigned　me：　hitherto；　I　had　only　been　a　spectator　of　the　proceedings　at　Lowood；　I　was　now　to　bee　an　actor　therein。　At　first；　being　little　accustomed　to　learn　by　heart；　the　lessons　appeared　to　me　both　long　and　difficult；　the　frequent　change　from　task　to　task；　too；　bewildered　me；　and　I　was　glad　when；　about　three　o’clock　in　the　afternoon；　Miss　Smith　put　into　my　hands　a　border　of　muslin　two　yards　long；　together　with　needle；　thimble；　&c。；　and　sent　me　to　sit　in　a　quiet　corner　of　the　schoolroom；　with　directions　to　hem　the　same。　At　that　hour　most　of　the　others　were　sewing　likewise；　but　one　class　still　stood　round　Miss　Scatcherd’s　chair　reading；　and　as　all　was　quiet；　the　subject　of　their　lessons　could　be　heard；　together　with　the　manner　in　which　each　girl　acquitted　herself；　and　the　animadversions　or　mendations　of　Miss　Scatcherd　on　the　performance。　It　was　English　history：　among　the　readers　I　observed　my　acquaintance　of　the　verandah：　at　the　mencement　of　the　lesson；　her　place　had　been　at　the　top　of　the　class；　but　for　some　error　of　pronunciation；　or　some　inattention　to　stops；　she　was　suddenly　sent　to　the　very　bottom。　Even　in　that　obscure　position；　Miss　Scatcherd　continued　to　make　her　an　object　of　constant　notice：　she　was　continually　addressing　to　her　such　phrases　as　the　following：—
“Burns”　（such　it　seems　was　her　name：　the　girls　here　were　all　called　by　their　surnames；　as　boys　are　elsewhere）；　“Burns；　you　are　standing　on　the　side　of　your　shoe；　turn　your　toes　out　immediately。”　“Burns；　you　poke　your　chin　most　unpleasantly；　draw　it　in。”　“Burns；　I　insist　on　your　holding　your　head　up；　I　will　not　have　you　before　me　in　that　attitude；”　&c。　&c。
A　chapter　having　been　read　through　twice；　the　books　were　closed　and　the　girls　examined。　The　lesson　had　prised　part　of　the　reign　of　Charles　I。；　and　there　were　sundry　questions　about　tonnage　and　poundage　and　ship…money；　which　most　of　them　appeared　unable　to　answer；　still；　every　little　difficulty　was　solved　instantly　when　it　reached　Burns：　her　memory　seemed　to　have　retained　the　substance　of　the　whole　lesson；　and　she　was　ready　with　answers　on　every　point。　I　kept　expecting　that　Miss　Scatcherd　would　praise　her　attention；　but；　instead　of　that；　she　suddenly　cried　out—
“You　dirty；　disagreeable　girl！　you　have　never　cleaned　your　nails　this　morning！”
Burns　made　no　answer：　I　wondered　at　her　silence。　“Why；”　thought　I；　“does　she　not　explain　that　she　could　neither　clean　her　nails　nor　wash　her　face；　as　the　water　was　frozen？”
My　attention　was　now　called　off　by　Miss　Smith　desiring　me　to　hold　a　skein　of　thread：　while　she　was　winding　it；　she　talked　to　me　from　time　to　time；　asking　whether　I　had　ever　been　at　school　before；　whether　I　could　mark；　stitch；　knit；　&c。；　till　she　dismissed　me；　I　could　not　pursue　my　observations　on　Miss　Scatcherd’s　movements。　When　I　returned　to　my　seat；　that　lady　was　just　delivering　an　order　of　which　I　did　not　catch　the　import；　but　Burns　immediately　left　the　class；　and　going　into　the　small　inner　room　where　the　books　were　kept；　returned　in　half　a　minute；　carrying　in　her　hand　a　bundle　of　twigs　tied　together　at　one　end。　This　ominous　tool　she　presented　to　Miss　Scatcherd　with　a　respectful　curtesy；　then　she　quietly；　and　without　being　told；　unloosed　her　pinafore；　and　the　teacher　instantly　and　sharply　inflicted　on　her　neck　a　dozen　strokes　with　the　bunch　of　twigs。　Not　a　tear　rose　to　Burns’　eye；　and；　while　I　paused　from　my　sewing；　because　my　fingers　quivered　at　this　spectacle　with　a　sentiment　of　unavailing　and　impotent　anger；　not　a　feature　of　her　pensive　face　altered　its　ordinary　expression。
“Hardened　girl！”　exclaimed　Miss　Scatcherd；　“nothing　can　correct　you　of　your　slatternly　habits：　carry　the　rod　away。”
Burns　obeyed：　I　looked　at　her　narrowly　as　she　emerged　from　the　book…closet；　she　was　just　putting　back　her　handkerchief　into　her　pocket；　and　the　trace　of　a　tear　glistened　on　her　thin　cheek。
The　play…hour　in　the　evening　I　thought　the　pleasantest　fraction　of　the　day　at　Lowood：　the　bit　of　bread；　the　draught　of　coffee　swallowed　at　five　o’clock　had　revived　vitality；　if　it　had　not　satisfied　hunger：　the　long　restraint　of　the　day　was　slackened；　the　schoolroom　felt　warmer　than　in　the　morning—its　fires　being　allowed　to　burn　a　little　more　brightly；　to　supply；　in　some　measure；　the　place　of　candles；　not　yet　introduced：　the　ruddy　gloaming；　the　licensed　uproar；　the　confusion　of　many　voices　gave　one　a　wele　sense　of　liberty。
On　the　evening　of　the　day　on　which　I　had　seen　Miss　Scatcherd　flog　her　pupil；　Burns；　I　wandered　as　usual　among　the　forms　and　tables　and　laughing　groups　without　a　panion；　yet　not　feeling　lonely：　when　I　passed　the　windows；　I　now　and　then　lifted　a　blind；　and　looked　out；　it　snowed　fast；　a　drift　was　already　forming　against　the　lower　panes；　putting　my　ear　close　to　the　window；　I　could　distinguish　from　the　gleeful　tumult　within；　the　disconsolate　moan　of　the　wind　outside。
Probably；　if　I　had　lately　left　a　good　home　and　kind　parents；　this　would　have　been　the　hour　when　I　should　most　keenly　have　regretted　the　separation；　that　wind　would　then　have　saddened　my　heart；　this　obscure　chaos　would　have　disturbed　my　peace！　as　it　was；　I　derived　from　both　a　strange　excitement；　and　reckless　and　feverish；　I　wished　the　wind　to　howl　more　wildly；　the　gloom　to　deepen　to　darkness；　and　the　confusion　to　rise　to　clamour。
Jumping　over　forms；　and　creeping　under　tables；　I　made　my　way　to　one　of　the　fire…places；　there；　kneeling　by　the　high　wire　fender；　I　found　Burns；　absorbed；　silent；　abstracted　from　all　round　her　by　the　panionship　of　a　book；　which　she　read　by　the　dim　glare　of　the　embers。
“Is　it　still　Rasselas？”　I　asked；　ing　behind　her。
“Yes；”　she　said；　“and　I　have　just　finished　it。”
And　in　five　minutes　more　she　shut　it　up。　I　was　glad　of　this。　“Now；”　thought　I；　“I　can　perhaps　get　her　to　talk。”　I　sat　down　by　her　on　the　floor。
“What　is　your　name　besides　Burns？”
“Helen。”
“Do　you　e　a　long　way　from　here？”
“I　e　from　a　place　farther　north；　quite　on　the　borders　of　Scotland。”
“Will　you　ever　go　back？”
“I　hope　so；　but　nobody　can　be　sure　of　the　future。”
“You　must　wish　to　leave　Lowood？”
“No！　why　should　I？　I　was　sent　to　Lowood　to　get　an　education；　and　it　would　be　of　no　use　going　away　until　I　have　attained　that　object。”
“But　that　teacher；　Miss　Scatcherd；　is　so　cruel　to　you？”
“Cruel？　Not　at　all！　She　is　severe：　she　dislikes　my　faults。”
“And　if　I　were　in　your　place　I　should　dislike　her；　I　should　resist　her。　If　she　struck　me　with　that　rod；　I　should　get　it　from　her　hand；　I　should　break　it　under　her　nose。”
“Probably　you　would　do　nothing　of　the　sort：　but　if　you　did；　Mr。　Brocklehurst　would　expel　you　from　the　school；　that　would　be　a　great　grief　to　your　relations。　It　is　far　better　to　endure　patiently　a　smart　which　nobody　feels　but　yourself；　than　to　mit　a　hasty　action　whose　evil　consequences　will　extend　to　all　connected　with　you；　and　besides；　the　Bible　bids　us　return　good　for　evil。”
“But　then　it　seems　disgraceful　to　be　flogged；　and　to　be　sent　to　stand　in　the　middle　of　a　room　full　of　people；　and　you　are　such　a　great　girl：　I　am　far　younger　than　you；　and　I　could　not　bear　it。”
“Yet　it　would　be　your　duty　to　bear　it；　if　you　could　not　avoid　it：　it　is　weak　and　silly　to　say　you　cannot　bear　what　it　is　your　fate　to　be　required　to　bear。”
I　heard　her　with　wonder：　I　could　not　prehend　this　doctrine　of　endurance；　and　still　less　could　I　understand　or　sympathise　with　the　forbearance　she　expressed　for　her　chastiser。　Still　I　felt　that　Helen　Burns　considered　things　by　a　light　invisible　to　my　eyes。　I　suspected　she　might　be　right　and　I　wrong；　but　I　would　not　ponder　the　matter　deeply；　like　Felix；　I　put　it　off　to　a　more　convenient　season。
“You　say　you　have　faults；　Helen：　wha