时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第40部分
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going number two outside。 “You really outdid yourself today。”
He beamed and then looked at the ground in practiced humility。
“Well; thank you。 You know how I feel about Ms。 Priestly; and; well;
it’s really an honor to; well; you know 。 。 。”
“Prepare her lunch?” I supplied; helpfully。
“Well; yes。 Exactly。 You know what I mean。”
“Yes; of course I do; Sebastian。 She’ll love it; I’m sure。” I didn’t
have the heart to tell him that I immediately unfolded all of his
creations because the Ms。 Priestly he so adored would throw a hissy
fit if faced with a napkin in the shape of anything other than a
napkin—never mind a bowling bag or a high…heeled shoe。 I tucked the
bag under my arm and turned to leave; but just then my phone rang。
Sebastian looked at me expectantly; fervently hoping that the voice
on the other line of my Cell Phone would be his love; his reason for
living。 He wasn’t let down。
“Is this Emily? Emily; is that you; I can barely hear you!”
Miranda’s voice came over the line in a shrill; angry staccato。
“Hello; Miranda。 Yes; this is Andrea。” I stated calmly while
Sebastian visibly swooned at the sound of her name。
“Are you preparing my lunch yourself; Andrea? Because according to
my clock; I asked for it thirty…five minutes ago。 I cannot think of
a single reason why—if you were doing your job properly—my lunch
would not be at my desk yet。 Can you?”
She got my name right! A small success; but no time to celebrate。
“Uh; um; well; I’m very sorry it’s taken so long; but there was a
little mix…up with—”
“You do know just how uninterested I am in such details; do you
not?”
“Yes; of course I understand; and it won’t be long before—”
“I am calling to tell you that I want my lunch; and I want itnow 。
There’s really not much room for nuance; Emily。 I。 Want。 My。 Lunch。
Now!” With that; she hung up the phone; and my hands were shaking so
badly I dropped my cell on the floor。 It might as well have been
covered in burning arsenic。
Sebastian; who looked ready to pass out from the action; swooped
down to retrieve the phone and hand it back to me。
“Is she upset with us; Andrea? I hope she doesn’t think we let her
down! Does she? Does she think that?” His mouth pursed into a tight
oval and the already prominent veins in his forehead pulsed; and I
wanted to hate him as much as I hated her; but I just felt sorry for
him。 Why did this man; this man who seemed remarkable only to the
extent that he was so unremarkable; why did he care so much about
Miranda Priestly? Why was he so invested in pleasing her; impressing
her; providing for her? Perhaps he should take over my job; I
thought; because I was going to quit。 Yes; that was it。 I was going
to march back to that office and quit。 Who needed her shit? What
gave her the right to talk to me; to anyone; like that? The
position? The power? The prestige? The goddamn Prada? Where; in a
just universe; was this acceptable behavior?
The receipt I was supposed to sign every day charging the
ninety…five…dollar meal to Elias…Clark was resting on the podium;
and I quickly scrawled an illegible signature。 Whether it was mine
or Miranda’s or Emily’s or Mahatma Gandhi’s at this point I couldn’t
even be sure; but it wouldn’t matter。 I grabbed the bag of food that
redefined the term “lunch meat” and stomped back outside; leaving a
very fragile Sebastian to deal with himself。 I threw myself in a cab
the moment I hit the street; nearly knocking an elderly man off his
feet。 No time to be concerned。 I had a job to quit。 Even with the
midday traffic; we covered the few blocks in ten minutes; and I
threw the cabbie a twenty。 I would’ve given him fifty if I’d had it
and figured out a way to recoup it from Elias; but there were none
in my wallet。 He immediately began counting out change; but I
slammed the door and ran。 Let that twenty go to caring for a little
girl somewhere or fixing a hot water heater; I decided。 Or even for
a few postshift beers at the cab park in Queens—whatever the cabbie
did with it would somehow be nobler than buying yet another cup of
Starbucks。
Full of self…righteous indignation; I stormed inside the building
and ignored the disapproving stares from the small group of Clackers
in the corner。 I saw Benji stepping off the Bergman elevators but
quickly turned my back so I didn’t waste any more time; swiped my
card; and threw my hip against the turnstile。 Shit! The metal bar
smacked against my pelvic bone and I knew I’d have a splotchy purple
bruise within minutes。 I looked up to see two rows of glimmering
white teeth and the fat; sweating face that formed around them。
Eduardo。 He had to be kidding。 He just had to be。
I quickly flashed him my best nasty look; the one that said; quite
simply;Just die! but it didn’t work today。 Maintaining full eye
contact; I swiveled around to the next turnstile in the line; swiped
my card lightning…fast; and lunged against the bar。 He’d managed to
lock it just in time; and I stood there as he let the Clackers go
through the first turnstile I’d tried; one by one。 Six in all; and I
still stood there; so frustrated I thought I might cry。 Eduardo was
not sympathetic。
“Girlfriend; don’t look so down。 This ain’t torture; it’s fun。 Now;
please。 Pay attention; because 。 。 。I think we’re alone now。 There
doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think we’re alone now。 The
beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound 。”
“Eduardo! How on earth am I supposed to act out that one? I don’t
have time for this shit right now!”
“OK; OK。 No actin’ this time; just singin’。 I’ll start; you
finish。Children behave! That’s what they say when we’re together。
And watch how you play! They don’t understand; and so we’re 。 。 。 ”
I figured I wouldn’t have to quit if I ever actually made it
upstairs because I’d be fired by then anyway。 Might as well make
someone else’s day。“Running just as fast as we can;” I continued;
not missing a beat。“Holdin’ on to one another’s hand。 Tryin’ to get
away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we
tumble to the ground and then you say 。 。 。”
I leaned in closer when I noticed that the jerk from day one;
Mickey; was trying to listen; and Eduardo finished it off:“I think
we’re alone now。 There doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think
we’re alone now。 The beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound!” He
guffawed and threw his hand in the air。 I slapped him high five; and
I heard the metal bar click open。
“Have a good lunch; Andy!” he called; still grinning。
“You; too; Eduardo; you; too。”
The elevator ride was blissfully uneventful; and it wasn’t until I
was standing directly outside the doors of our office suite that I
decided I couldn’t quit。 Aside from the obvious—that is; it’d be too
terrifying to do it unprepared; she’d probably just look at me and
say; “No; I won’t allow you to quit” and then what would I say?—I
had to remember that it was only a year of my life。 A single year to
bypass many more of misery。 One year; 12 months; 52 weeks; 365 days;
of putting up with this garbage to do what I really wanted。 It
wasn’t too great a demand; and besides; I was too tired to even
think about looking for another job。 Way too tired。
Emily looked up at me when I walked in。 “She’ll be right back。 She
just got called up to Mr。 Ravitz’s office。 Seriously; Andrea; what
took you so long? You know that she es down on me when you’re
late; and what can I tell her? That you’re smoking cigarettes
instead of buying her Coffee; or talking to your boyfriend instead
of getting her lunch? It’s not fair—it’s really not。” She turned her
attention back to her puter; a resigned expression on her face。
She was right; of course。 It wasn’t fair。 To me; to her; to any
semicivilized human being。 And I felt bad for making it more
difficult for her; which I did every time I took a few extra minutes
away from the office to relax and unwind。 Because every second I was
gone was another second that Miranda focused her relentless
attention on Emily。 I vowed to try harder。
“You’re totally right; Em; and I’m sorry。 I’ll try harder。”
She looked genuinely surprised and a little bit pleased。 “I’d really
appreciate it; Andrea。 I mean; I’ve done your job。 Iknow how much it
sucks。 Trust me; there were days that I had to go out in the snow
and the slush and the rain to get her Coffee five; six; seven times
in a single day。 I was so tired I could barely mov