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第40部分

时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第40部分


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  going number two outside。 “You really outdid yourself today。”

  He beamed and then looked at the ground in practiced humility。 
  “Well; thank you。 You know how I feel about Ms。 Priestly; and; well; 
  it’s really an honor to; well; you know 。 。 。”

  “Prepare her lunch?” I supplied; helpfully。

  “Well; yes。 Exactly。 You know what I mean。”

  “Yes; of course I do; Sebastian。 She’ll love it; I’m sure。” I didn’t 
  have the heart to tell him that I immediately unfolded all of his 
  creations because the Ms。 Priestly he so adored would throw a hissy 
  fit if faced with a napkin in the shape of anything other than a 
  napkin—never mind a bowling bag or a high…heeled shoe。 I tucked the 
  bag under my arm and turned to leave; but just then my phone rang。

  Sebastian looked at me expectantly; fervently hoping that the voice 
  on the other line of my Cell Phone would be his love; his reason for 
  living。 He wasn’t let down。

  “Is this Emily? Emily; is that you; I can barely hear you!” 
  Miranda’s voice came over the line in a shrill; angry staccato。

  “Hello; Miranda。 Yes; this is Andrea。” I stated calmly while 
  Sebastian visibly swooned at the sound of her name。

  “Are you preparing my lunch yourself; Andrea? Because according to 
  my clock; I asked for it thirty…five minutes ago。 I cannot think of 
  a single reason why—if you were doing your job properly—my lunch 
  would not be at my desk yet。 Can you?”

  She got my name right! A small success; but no time to celebrate。

  “Uh; um; well; I’m very sorry it’s taken so long; but there was a 
  little mix…up with—”

  “You do know just how uninterested I am in such details; do you 
  not?”

  “Yes; of course I understand; and it won’t be long before—”

  “I am calling to tell you that I want my lunch; and I want itnow 。 
  There’s really not much room for nuance; Emily。 I。 Want。 My。 Lunch。 
  Now!” With that; she hung up the phone; and my hands were shaking so 
  badly I dropped my cell on the floor。 It might as well have been 
  covered in burning arsenic。

  Sebastian; who looked ready to pass out from the action; swooped 
  down to retrieve the phone and hand it back to me。

  “Is she upset with us; Andrea? I hope she doesn’t think we let her 
  down! Does she? Does she think that?” His mouth pursed into a tight 
  oval and the already prominent veins in his forehead pulsed; and I 
  wanted to hate him as much as I hated her; but I just felt sorry for 
  him。 Why did this man; this man who seemed remarkable only to the 
  extent that he was so unremarkable; why did he care so much about 
  Miranda Priestly? Why was he so invested in pleasing her; impressing 
  her; providing for her? Perhaps he should take over my job; I 
  thought; because I was going to quit。 Yes; that was it。 I was going 
  to march back to that office and quit。 Who needed her shit? What 
  gave her the right to talk to me; to anyone; like that? The 
  position? The power? The prestige? The goddamn Prada? Where; in a 
  just universe; was this acceptable behavior?

  The receipt I was supposed to sign every day charging the 
  ninety…five…dollar meal to Elias…Clark was resting on the podium; 
  and I quickly scrawled an illegible signature。 Whether it was mine 
  or Miranda’s or Emily’s or Mahatma Gandhi’s at this point I couldn’t 
  even be sure; but it wouldn’t matter。 I grabbed the bag of food that 
  redefined the term “lunch meat” and stomped back outside; leaving a 
  very fragile Sebastian to deal with himself。 I threw myself in a cab 
  the moment I hit the street; nearly knocking an elderly man off his 
  feet。 No time to be concerned。 I had a job to quit。 Even with the 
  midday traffic; we covered the few blocks in ten minutes; and I 
  threw the cabbie a twenty。 I would’ve given him fifty if I’d had it 
  and figured out a way to recoup it from Elias; but there were none 
  in my wallet。 He immediately began counting out change; but I 
  slammed the door and ran。 Let that twenty go to caring for a little 
  girl somewhere or fixing a hot water heater; I decided。 Or even for 
  a few postshift beers at the cab park in Queens—whatever the cabbie 
  did with it would somehow be nobler than buying yet another cup of 
  Starbucks。

  Full of self…righteous indignation; I stormed inside the building 
  and ignored the disapproving stares from the small group of Clackers 
  in the corner。 I saw Benji stepping off the Bergman elevators but 
  quickly turned my back so I didn’t waste any more time; swiped my 
  card; and threw my hip against the turnstile。 Shit! The metal bar 
  smacked against my pelvic bone and I knew I’d have a splotchy purple 
  bruise within minutes。 I looked up to see two rows of glimmering 
  white teeth and the fat; sweating face that formed around them。 
  Eduardo。 He had to be kidding。 He just had to be。

  I quickly flashed him my best nasty look; the one that said; quite 
  simply;Just die! but it didn’t work today。 Maintaining full eye 
  contact; I swiveled around to the next turnstile in the line; swiped 
  my card lightning…fast; and lunged against the bar。 He’d managed to 
  lock it just in time; and I stood there as he let the Clackers go 
  through the first turnstile I’d tried; one by one。 Six in all; and I 
  still stood there; so frustrated I thought I might cry。 Eduardo was 
  not sympathetic。

  “Girlfriend; don’t look so down。 This ain’t torture; it’s fun。 Now; 
  please。 Pay attention; because 。 。 。I think we’re alone now。 There 
  doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think we’re alone now。 The 
  beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound 。”

  “Eduardo! How on earth am I supposed to act out that one? I don’t 
  have time for this shit right now!”

  “OK; OK。 No actin’ this time; just singin’。 I’ll start; you 
  finish。Children behave! That’s what they say when we’re together。 
  And watch how you play! They don’t understand; and so we’re 。 。 。 ”

  I figured I wouldn’t have to quit if I ever actually made it 
  upstairs because I’d be fired by then anyway。 Might as well make 
  someone else’s day。“Running just as fast as we can;” I continued; 
  not missing a beat。“Holdin’ on to one another’s hand。 Tryin’ to get 
  away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we 
  tumble to the ground and then you say 。 。 。”

  I leaned in closer when I noticed that the jerk from day one; 
  Mickey; was trying to listen; and Eduardo finished it off:“I think 
  we’re alone now。 There doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think 
  we’re alone now。 The beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound!” He 
  guffawed and threw his hand in the air。 I slapped him high five; and 
  I heard the metal bar click open。

  “Have a good lunch; Andy!” he called; still grinning。

  “You; too; Eduardo; you; too。”

  The elevator ride was blissfully uneventful; and it wasn’t until I 
  was standing directly outside the doors of our office suite that I 
  decided I couldn’t quit。 Aside from the obvious—that is; it’d be too 
  terrifying to do it unprepared; she’d probably just look at me and 
  say; “No; I won’t allow you to quit” and then what would I say?—I 
  had to remember that it was only a year of my life。 A single year to 
  bypass many more of misery。 One year; 12 months; 52 weeks; 365 days; 
  of putting up with this garbage to do what I really wanted。 It 
  wasn’t too great a demand; and besides; I was too tired to even 
  think about looking for another job。 Way too tired。

  Emily looked up at me when I walked in。 “She’ll be right back。 She 
  just got called up to Mr。 Ravitz’s office。 Seriously; Andrea; what 
  took you so long? You know that she es down on me when you’re 
  late; and what can I tell her? That you’re smoking cigarettes 
  instead of buying her Coffee; or talking to your boyfriend instead 
  of getting her lunch? It’s not fair—it’s really not。” She turned her 
  attention back to her puter; a resigned expression on her face。

  She was right; of course。 It wasn’t fair。 To me; to her; to any 
  semicivilized human being。 And I felt bad for making it more 
  difficult for her; which I did every time I took a few extra minutes 
  away from the office to relax and unwind。 Because every second I was 
  gone was another second that Miranda focused her relentless 
  attention on Emily。 I vowed to try harder。

  “You’re totally right; Em; and I’m sorry。 I’ll try harder。”

  She looked genuinely surprised and a little bit pleased。 “I’d really 
  appreciate it; Andrea。 I mean; I’ve done your job。 Iknow how much it 
  sucks。 Trust me; there were days that I had to go out in the snow 
  and the slush and the rain to get her Coffee five; six; seven times 
  in a single day。 I was so tired I could barely mov

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